How do I encourage hubby to

[Ruthie]

…when you really have a sincere issue…a sincere complaint, for lack of a better word…just don’t waffle about it. Be firm. Don’t waiver.

This reminds me of a funny story from my (null) teenage mistake. He was in the Navy, and when he came home from a late shift would just start shedding his clothes at the door, on his way to bed. I’m not a neat freak, but I did ask him several times to wait until he got in the bedroom to start shedding. It didn’t get through.

One day I had spent all day scrubbing the ancient trailer we lived in, and had finally gotten the old kitchen sink gleaming. Next morning I woke up, went to the kitchen to start the coffee, and his dirty underwear were in my shiny clean sink!

So I got sublte - LOL. I took a pair of my dirty skivvies out of the laundry bag, took them outside and draped them across his steering wheel. Came back in, made breakfast, woke him up, said nothing. Away he went.

Door opens and shuts. Tromp tromp tromp across the porch, Gate creaks. Car door opens. Car soor slams. Gate slams. Tromp tromp tromp, door opens and slams. In he comes, my skivvies held high, yelling, “WHAT IS THIS??!!”

I respond, “Well I found YOURS in my SINK this morning!”

He remembered to wait until he got into the bedroom after that. I guess I finally got him to see how I felt!

Yeah, guys need you to be direct with them. Most of them don’t hear hints. They’re not ignoring them; they simply don’t *hear *them. When I waffle about things, DH usually tells me to make up my mind. Either that, or it goes into the hinterlands.

I like the earlier post about the guy “nagging” defense, too. Very wise.

Praying for you,

Ruthie

 

[petitfleur]

My story is too long to get into but I will say persistant prayer works. DH is not perfect, but, seiously out of the blue he started reading the Bible to the kids and decided he was going to 11:00 mass no matter what, even if it interfeard with his SEASON TICKETS TO THE BEARS GAME!!! I thought he would back up since my two pldest were sick last Sunday but he grabbed our wild 2 yo. and went with just her. This is truely shocking to me and it humbles me to the core to see the Holy Spirit work like this in our life.
The only thing I did was pray like crazy and try to be the best example I could be. (St. Monica helped heaps i’m sure)
I know with my DH any kind of nagging would only be a setback for him.
My constant prayer for my family is for thier salvation and continued growth with Jesus.
Your DH knows how you feel.
Also if you have any deep resentment you need to take care of that ASAP.

 

[whatevergirl]

This reminds me of a funny story from my (null) teenage mistake. He was in the Navy, and when he came home from a late shift would just start shedding his clothes at the door, on his way to bed. I’m not a neat freak, but I did ask him several times to wait until he got in the bedroom to start shedding. It didn’t get through.

One day I had spent all day scrubbing the ancient trailer we lived in, and had finally gotten the old kitchen sink gleaming. Next morning I woke up, went to the kitchen to start the coffee, and his dirty underwear were in my shiny clean sink!

So I got sublte - LOL. I took a pair of my dirty skivvies out of the laundry bag, took them outside and draped them across his steering wheel. Came back in, made breakfast, woke him up, said nothing. Away he went.

Door opens and shuts. Tromp tromp tromp across the porch, Gate creaks. Car door opens. Car soor slams. Gate slams. Tromp tromp tromp, door opens and slams. In he comes, my skivvies held high, yelling, “WHAT IS THIS??!!”

I respond, “Well I found YOURS in my SINK this morning!”

He remembered to wait until he got into the bedroom after that. I guess I finally got him to see how I felt!

Yeah, guys need you to be direct with them. Most of them don’t hear hints. They’re not ignoring them; they simply don’t *hear *them. When I waffle about things, DH usually tells me to make up my mind. Either that, or it goes into the hinterlands.

I like the earlier post about the guy “nagging” defense, too. Very wise.

Praying for you,

Ruthie

lol–that’s funny!

Yes, my hubby is a to the point kind of person, while I (and most women) can pick up subtle hints. Plus, I’m a beat around the bush kinda person, so it can make for weird communication at my home, sometimes. But, I work mainly with men, and for only men–so I’ve learned to just be direct…hey, things get done quicker when you’re just direct! Men are more task oriented…and visual. So you painted a nice visual for him, indeed!

Malia–I agree a bit with dusky. Not knowing the intimate details of your marriage, it sounds more like your hubby wants to control things, and uses the old ‘i’m the man of the house’ mantra to be able to do so. Not saying he is controlling or anything, but it seems that way, from what you post. I didn’t fully understand before…sorry if my sentiments totally were off the mark!!!

 

[pierced77]

Every family and marrage is called to prayer.

I would suggest asking your husband to lead a family rosary on Sunday evenings and bringing your family to confession once a month.

If he is hesitant about your request, ask him to practice this for just one month. If he does, I’m sure you will be happy with how he grabs a hold of his spiritual role.

p.s. and don’t underestimate the power of a praying wife.

 

[Perrault]

Hi, I had this same issue. I wanted so badly for my husband to take the role and lead us in daily bible reading, praying the rosary, etc. So what I did was I just started praying everyday with my children. Started reading the bible everyday with my children. Eventually, (it did take awhile, about 2 years) but my children would start telling my husband and other family members what they “read in the bible today”. My husband finally figured out that he was not the one teaching them and reading to them and praying with them. He finally asked me how they knew all this “stuff”? I told him I was doing all this daily and he finally asked if we could do it when he was home from work so he could join in with us. I was the happiest person ever that day. Ever since that day we read the bible and pray the rosary everyday as a family! It is wonderful!