How do I know if I were gay?

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anonymous1995

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How can I know if I am gay?

I did experience some arousal while watching gay porn, but at the same time I feel more ‘natural’ fantasizing about women while watching straight porn. Watching homosexual videos after abstaining from gay porn for some time makes me feel repulsive.

FYI I am now 22 and the question of sexual orientation has been with me since high school. I did feel attracted to a girl when I was 14. AND I HAVE NO WISH TO LEAD A LIFE AGAINST CHASTITY BE IT STRAIGHT OR GAY…

I have tried the Boyhood Gendrr Conformity Scale test which was recommended by EWTN and got a score of around 90 to 100 out of 120 (120 = extremely masculine, 0 = extremely feminine). Are these tests reliable?

Thank you!
 
Dont’ sweat it. I think your response watching porn can’t be considered the average response one would have in an average situation. It’s interesting to me that women are used to considering other women beautiful, but men are discouraged from considering whether other men are attractive or not. The human body of both sexes can be goodlooking depending on how its presented.

The question I have for you is, how outgoing are you? Are you one of today’s young men who are unskilled socially—who grew up indoors playing video games and are now on unfamiliar turf when it comes to dealing with other people?

One of the values of heterosexuality is like the value of being a parent: you see the world through another kind of eyes, and so become a bit more wise about people and things than you otherwise would be.
 
anonymous1995 said:
How can I know if I am gay?

I did experience some arousal while watching gay porn, but at the same time I feel more ‘natural’ fantasizing about women while watching straight porn. Watching homosexual videos after abstaining from gay porn for some time makes me feel repulsive.

FYI I am now 22 and the question of sexual orientation has been with me since high school. I did feel attracted to a girl when I was 14. AND I HAVE NO WISH TO LEAD A LIFE AGAINST CHASTITY BE IT STRAIGHT OR GAY…

I have tried the Boyhood Gendrr Conformity Scale test which was recommended by EWTN and got a score of around 90 to 100 out of 120 (120 = extremely masculine, 0 = extremely feminine). Are these tests reliable?

Thank you!
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Heterosexuality and homosexuality represent generalizations and not absolutes. Most or many heterosexual people - if they become lascivious enough - will be able to adopt a limited bisexual lifestyle. It is also not abnormal that as a person becomes addicted to pornography, they will eventually be able to be aroused by gay porn (among other things). In the world of drugs, this is known as “chasing the dragon” and the same thing exists with sexuality. Like anything else that is psychological, it is to some extent malleable.
 
Captain_America said:
Dont’ sweat it. I think your response watching porn can’t be considered the average response one would have in an average situation. It’s interesting to me that women are used to considering other women beautiful, but men are discouraged from considering whether other men are attractive or not. The human body of both sexes can be goodlooking depending on how its presented.

The question I have for you is, how outgoing are you? Are you one of today’s young men who are unskilled socially—who grew up indoors playing video games and are now on unfamiliar turf when it comes to dealing with other people?

One of the values of heterosexuality is like the value of being a parent: you see the world through another kind of eyes, and so become a bit more wise about people and things than you otherwise would be.
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I am a semi-introvert. By ‘semi’ I mean I enjoy reading very much, but at the same time I do have a group of close friends as well as many good friends (both male and female) who would invite me to war games, squash or dinners (though I’m poor in sports). I was a perfectionist but this trait is now subsiding.

Hmm…have I been aroused by male in real life? Yes - but its frequency decreases with reduced porn consumption. Having said that, I’m still struggling with chastity (masturbation) and I regularly go to Confession.

Masturbation, strangely, arrives at my door whenever I feel I would like to love God more and I wish God would give me marriage.

IF (if…) I really were homosexual the most logical explanation would be my perfectionist character - in the past I could not accept myself to be short. Now I’m gradually discovering my strengths and accept my height, but the problem is still unresolved.
 
First of all, get off the porn. Get rid of it. Stop getting more. Erase it from your life. Porn is a lie and no one has ever managed to derive any truth from it. Secondly, if you have to take a test to figure out if you’re gay, you aren’t gay.
 
anonymous1995 said:
I did experience some arousal while watching gay porn, but at the same time I feel more ‘natural’ fantasizing about women while watching straight porn. Watching homosexual videos after abstaining from gay porn for some time makes me feel repulsive.!
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I hope you know that we have 3 sexual orientations (from "sex’ as female/male, not sex-sex) ?

And there are different scales to measure ones sexual orientation, for instance Kinsey scale.

Bisexuality doesn’t mean you must feel attraction to both sexes simultaneously or with exactly the same degree.

PS Why are u tormenting yourself with this question? What does it matter if in the end you intend to live your life according to the Catholic church teachings?
Allegra said:
Porn is a lie and no one has ever managed to derive any truth from it. .
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Commercial porn? Sure. Amateur porn (couples/single)? It’s the truth in its most naked form 😃
 
anonymous1995 said:
and got a score of around 90 to 100 out of 120 (120 = extremely masculine, 0 = extremely feminine). Are these tests reliable?

Thank you!
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I haven’t looked at the quiz yet, but on the face of it: masculine and feminine have little to do with orientation.
 
Allegra said:
Secondly, if you have to take a test to figure out if you’re gay, you aren’t gay.
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Amen to that. Besides which, from what I’ve read about that test, it’s not the most accurate thing in the world, which doesn’t surprise me given that I’ve known very masculine gay men and very effeminate straight men, and people who’ve transitioned to the opposite gender but are still sexually attracted to the gender opposite to their original bio gender (example: men who became women but still wanted to date and marry a woman both before and after).

I would recommend that you quit watching porn for the foreseeable future and after a year or two goes by see how you feel. Watching porn can inspire all sorts of thoughts that never would have popped into a person’s head on their own. You could get sexually attracted to a ham sandwich watching that stuff.
 
Here’s a fun fact. A lot of straight people are aroused by watching gay/lesbian porn. Even weird types of sex that should never exist. That doesn’t mean that person wants it in real life.

Those tests are not reliable.

Stop watching porn.

You just said you are attracted to girls (fantasizing, that girl)

How do you know if you’re gay? If you are sexually and romantically attracted to a man. In real life. Don’t mistake a general arousal you get from sex as an attraction for a person.

Don’t sweat it!
 
anonymous1995 said:
I did experience some arousal while watching gay porn, but at the same time I feel more ‘natural’ fantasizing about women while watching straight porn. Watching homosexual videos after abstaining from gay porn for some time makes me feel repulsive.

AND I HAVE NO WISH TO LEAD A LIFE AGAINST CHASTITY BE IT STRAIGHT OR GAY…
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If you wished to lead a chaste life you would not be watching any pron.
 
Stop with the pron!!!

STOP!

It will never , ever, lead you to happiness, truth, or a normal relationship.

If you don’t know you are gay, then you’re not gay.
But the pron HAS TO GO.
 
Otar_Mendes said:
Commercial porn? Sure. Amateur porn (couples/single)? It’s the truth in its most naked form 😃
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:rolleyes: A person videotaping themselves having sex isn’t truth anymore than the snapshot on my facebook page of my family is the truth of my family. Nothing kills a person’s chance at a healthy sex life, or a healthy romantic relationship that wallowing in that garbage.
 
anonymous1995 said:
How can I know if I am gay?

I did experience some arousal while watching gay porn, but at the same time I feel more ‘natural’ fantasizing about women while watching straight porn. Watching homosexual videos after abstaining from gay porn for some time makes me feel repulsive.

FYI I am now 22 and the question of sexual orientation has been with me since high school. I did feel attracted to a girl when I was 14. AND I HAVE NO WISH TO LEAD A LIFE AGAINST CHASTITY BE IT STRAIGHT OR GAY…

I have tried the Boyhood Gendrr Conformity Scale test which was recommended by EWTN and got a score of around 90 to 100 out of 120 (120 = extremely masculine, 0 = extremely feminine). Are these tests reliable?

Thank you!
Click to expand...
I think you would be better off discussing this with a priest who can listen to your concerns and advise you. The first thing he will tell you is to give up all porn for good; it is most likely the source of your doubts and confusion. If you truly have SSA then there is no reason you cannot live your live your life in chastity as an unmarried person. The Church condemns homosexual acts, not same sex attraction.
 
Catholic1954 said:
I think you would be better off discussing this with a priest who can listen to your concerns and advise you. The first thing he will tell you is to give up all porn for good; it is most likely the source of your doubts and confusion. If you truly have SSA then there is no reason you cannot live your live your life in chastity as an unmarried person. The Church condemns homosexual acts, not same sex attraction.
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Who said anything about “SSA”? The OP referred to gay, not “SSA.” Why introduce confusing terms into the mix when OP is very clear about the issue in question.
 
randomuser said:
Who said anything about “SSA”? The OP referred to gay, not “SSA.” Why introduce confusing terms into the mix when OP is very clear about the issue in question.
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Why introduce a linguistic argument when the Church has no prohibition against the terms homosexual and gay? It serves no evangelizing purpose.

For the OP: if you are attracted to the same sex you are gay or homosexual or whatever term you prefer. Whatever term you choose is fine as far as morality goes. A Catholic who chooses to call themselves gay is committing no sin at all, whatever the posters on here say.

But don’t watch porn, man. It’s not good for you or those portrayed.
 
StudentMI said:
Why introduce a linguistic argument when the Church has no prohibition against the terms homosexual and gay? It serves no evangelizing purpose.
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I agree and respectfully ask: was this intended for someone else? I’m against interjecting confusing terms like “SSA” into any conversation about homosexuality. I agree with you. 🤷
 
For goodness sakes, the OP doesn’t endorse porn. He talked about his experiences with it. The simple fact that he wants to live of life of chastity puts him above 90% of his peers. He’s an elite.

This forum really worries me sometimes shakes head I hope you have better temperaments in real life and don’t treat people so poorly.
 
anonymous1995 said:
How can I know if I am gay?

I did experience some arousal while watching gay porn, but at the same time I feel more ‘natural’ fantasizing about women while watching straight porn. Watching homosexual videos after abstaining from gay porn for some time makes me feel repulsive.
Click to expand...
You do need to stop watching pornography. It is poison to your soul and to your brain. Continued use of porn will rewrite circuits in your brain and you will find yourself addicted, if you are not already. This will affect all your relationships interjecting a poison that will eat away at the relationship.

Porn can be as addicting as crack cocaine. You must stop.

In addition, it will be next to impossible for you to resolve your questions about sexuality as long as you are contaminating your mind and brain with these images.

I invite you to join the Catholic Support Group for Sexual Addiction Recovery. We are the first group of its kind on the Internet.

You can view and follow the 20 Steps to a Pure Heart and Mind without joining, if you wish.

In the support group you can get help in working the 20 Steps and the encouragement of others.
 
BroIgnatius said:
You do need to stop watching pornography. It is poison to your soul and to your brain. Continued use of porn will rewrite circuits in your brain and you will find yourself addicted, if you are not already. This will affect all your relationships interjecting a poison that will eat away at the relationship.

Porn can be as addicting as crack cocaine. You must stop.

In addition, it will be next to impossible for you to resolve your questions about sexuality as long as you are contaminating your mind and brain with these images.

I invite you to join the Catholic Support Group for Sexual Addiction Recovery. We are the first group of its kind on the Internet.

You can view and follow the 20 Steps to a Pure Heart and Mind without joining, if you wish.

In the support group you can get help in working the 20 Steps and the encouragement of others.
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OP, please keep in mind that BroIgnatius’ groups are not approved by the Church. They’re not real monastic orders.
 
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