How do I phrase this during confession?

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awest1

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I will be going to confession on Saturday about this, and I would like to know how I should phrase it when I tell my sin to the priest. It is something that is not only embarrasing, but since it deals with a sin that is sexual in nature, I don’t want to scandalize or offend the priest when I am telling him it. Basically, what happened is that my wife and I were engaged in foreplay. She was stimulating me, and I had an orgasm. I didn’t start this activity with the intention of having one, but I did. It wasn’t accidental, either. I could have stopped her before it happened, but I didn’t. How can I tell the priest what happened without scandalizing him? Is there a euphamism for this occurence that I could use?
 
awest1 said:
I will be going to confession on Saturday about this, and I would like to know how I should phrase it when I tell my sin to the priest. It is something that is not only embarrasing, but since it deals with a sin that is sexual in nature, I don’t want to scandalize or offend the priest when I am telling him it. Basically, what happened is that my wife and I were engaged in foreplay. She was stimulating me, and I had an orgasm. I didn’t start this activity with the intention of having one, but I did. It wasn’t accidental, either. I could have stopped her before it happened, but I didn’t. How can I tell the priest what happened without scandalizing him? Is there a euphamism for this occurence that I could use?
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Since there was no intention on either of you’s part to consumate outside your wifes vagina I dont see where there is a sin. I dont think premature ejacualtion is a sin. i
 
awest1 said:
I will be going to confession on Saturday about this, and I would like to know how I should phrase it when I tell my sin to the priest. It is something that is not only embarrasing, but since it deals with a sin that is sexual in nature, I don’t want to scandalize or offend the priest when I am telling him it. Basically, what happened is that my wife and I were engaged in foreplay. She was stimulating me, and I had an orgasm. I didn’t start this activity with the intention of having one, but I did. It wasn’t accidental, either. I could have stopped her before it happened, but I didn’t. How can I tell the priest what happened without scandalizing him? Is there a euphamism for this occurence that I could use?
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I would confess that you were involved in an impure act. You don’t need to say anything more than that…that covers it. I have confessed such things…(impure thoughts) and the priest didn’t ask for details. I think they have heard it all, frankly, and to elaborate isn’t necessary. You could elaborate…not suggesting NOT to…but it’s not necessary for a complete confession. Good luck…I think you have a well formed conscience!👍
 
awest1 said:
I will be going to confession on Saturday about this, and I would like to know how I should phrase it when I tell my sin to the priest. It is something that is not only embarrasing, but since it deals with a sin that is sexual in nature, I don’t want to scandalize or offend the priest when I am telling him it. Basically, what happened is that my wife and I were engaged in foreplay. She was stimulating me, and I had an orgasm. I didn’t start this activity with the intention of having one, but I did. It wasn’t accidental, either. I could have stopped her before it happened, but I didn’t. How can I tell the priest what happened without scandalizing him? Is there a euphamism for this occurence that I could use?
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I don’t know if it is a sin in this case or not; however, priests normally hear all kinds of confession. You shouldn’t be worrried too much about offending the priest.

If you need to go to confession for this, say exactly what you said on your post. 🙂 Do not let yourself be embarassed for what you committed, you might end up trying to make your sin less severe.

I’ve been there done that with trying to make my sins look “good” - 😃 it is not a good thing to do and not a good confession.
 
Yep, use the phrase “act(s) of impurity”, and the priest will understand. 👍
 
Personally, if I use the term “impure thoughts” to cover up my embarassment, then I wouldn’t think I am honest with my confession. On the other hand, if I don’t have that intention, then using the term is fine.

Am I weird or what? 😃
 
I think your priest can handle hearing the term “premature ejaculation outside of the vagina.”

I agree that you should confess it though. Better safe than sorry! 😉
 
water said:
Personally, if I use the term “impure thoughts” to cover up my embarassment, then I wouldn’t think I am honest with my confession. On the other hand, if I don’t have that intention, then using the term is fine.

Am I weird or what? 😃
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I don’t think that the priest needs all the juicy details, personally. I think that impure thoughts…deeds…even saying…sexual things I should not have been engaged in…would cover it. You’re not weird…everyone’s different.🙂
 
Genghis said:
I think your priest can handle hearing the term “premature ejaculation outside of the vagina.”

I agree that you should confess it though. Better safe than sorry! 😉
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I agree. The Priest will not be scandalized by hearing such words. I am sure he will have heard more or worse. Your intent here is to confess your act, and IMHO this incident was one more of venial nature than mortal and your Priest can help you determine that. He will indeed ask for a better explanation if he needs to better understand what you are saying in order to help you.

Remember that anything and everything a Priest hears in the confessional is confidential and I have even heard that there is a gift of forgetting what has been heard once the absolution has been given. Only had a few Priests tell me that they were told this when they had started seminary and they just couldn’t believe it until they were ordained and started hearing confessions. They may remember vague information but not the details.

Brenda V.
 
I wouldn’t even confess this.

Let’s see - you are engaging in sexual activity, with your wife, inside the bounds of marriage, and you are monogomous and she is consenting …

There are FAR worse things you could be doing.
 
From web.archive.org/web/20020305105633/www.catholicparents.org/oxcart/examination.html

Mortal sin/grave matter:
  1. You shall not commit adultery.
  • Adultery
  • Fornication (intercourse prior to marriage)
  • Masturbation or other impure acts with self
  • Homosexual acts
  • Using a contraceptive
  • Dressing or acting in a manner intended to cause arousal in another (spouses excepted)
  • Kissing or touching another passionately for the purpose of arousal (spouses excepted)
  • Allowing another to kiss or touch you in a sexual manner (spouses excepted)
    - Intentionally causing a sexual climax outside of intercourse
  • Onanism, i.e. intentional withdrawal and non-vaginal ejaculation
  • Flagrant immodesty in dress
  • Bestiality (sexual acts with animals)
  • Prostitution
  • Rape
  • In-vitro fertilization or artificial insemination
  • Surrogate motherhood
  • “Selective reduction” of babies in the womb
  • Types of fertility testing that involve immoral acts
  • Involvement in or support of human cloning
  • Willful divorce or desertion
  • Incest
  • Polygamy or polyandry (many wives/husbands)
  • Cohabitation prior to marriage
  • Destroying the innocence of another by seducing or introducing them to immorality
  • Lust in the heart (“if I could I would”)
  • “Swinging” or wife swapping
  • Transvestitism or cross dressing
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(Emphasis mine)

Mention that in confession would be my advice, say if it was truly intentional or not, only you can know that.
 
Let me take that back.

Maybe not “half” - but I see things there that are not sins.
 
Dude… does this forum come across to you as the place to tell us about your bedroom adventures and/or mishaps? If you are not a snot-nose 12 year old just trying to have some fun (and if thats what you are… you need to get a life), then you defiantly need some help. Try confession and then a shrink… (a good combination for insecurity and low self esteem)
 
Canadian said:
Dude… does this forum come across to you as the place to tell us about your bedroom adventures and/or mishaps? If you are not a snot-nose 12 year old just trying to have some fun (and if thats what you are… you need to get a life), then you defiantly need some help. Try confession and then a shrink… (a good combination for insecurity and low self esteem)
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sheesh Canadian…where is your charity tonight?🤓
 
Canadian said:
Common… do you really think this guy is for real?

and if he is… my advice is more than just charitable… its practical as well…
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Yes…in this case…hmm…I believe him. I think there are more obvious posts that you know the person is fishing for attention…to stir trouble on a message board…to get vacant reactions…but, this seems honest. You are new here…give it time, Canadian…you will see that many share a little too much info…lol;)
 
water said:
Personally, if I use the term “impure thoughts” to cover up my embarassment, then I wouldn’t think I am honest with my confession. On the other hand, if I don’t have that intention, then using the term is fine.

Am I weird or what? 😃
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IMO, “impure acts” would be appropriate to say to confess this, different than saying “impure thoughts”
 
whatevergirl said:
Yes…in this case…hmm…I believe him. I think there are more obvious posts that you know the person is fishing for attention…to stir trouble on a message board…to get vacant reactions…but, this seems honest. You are new here…give it time, Canadian…you will see that many share a little too much info…lol;)
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Well, if he isn’t just having a laugh at everybody’s expense, and he is merely sharing his info… I can only imagine him being prepared and willing to get feedback. Isn’t that what this is for? Honest truth seeking? Or are we just passing the sugar bowl around?

BTW… I think it is a sin or a fault (or something like that) to talk about ones concrete sins (to publicly confess). Does anyone know anything about that?
 
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