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Zachary
Guest
Thx. I’m here til Thursday.This one had me cackling
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MarkInOregon
Guest
Let us not forget that we meet God in other people also. What did Christ say, 'As you did it to one of these, the least of my brethren, you did it to me" (Mt 25:40). Pope Francis recently wrote:
“The Kerygma has a clear social content: at the heart of the Gospel is life in community and engagement with others” and that “God’s word teaches that our brothers and sisters are the prolongation of the incarnation for each of us…”
The Mass is our community worship–where we offer our one voice to God–not a bunch of individual unconnected ones.
So yes I agree with you that we come to Mass to meet God, but we must remember all the places we meet God. I think it is dangerous to ignore or to fail to see Jesus in our fellow parishioners and only see him in the Eucharist. Why can’t we do both? I read all the time on these forums that we are not an either or faith that it is both and. Yet so often when it comes to the Mass we forget this and make it either or. Seeing Christ in our fellow parishioners and treating them accordingly–should increase and add to our focus and to our ability to see him in the Eucharist–it should make our worship that much more focused and powerful. As pope Francis has written: “Loving others is a spiritual force drawing us to union with God…” Knowing and loving our fellow parishioners is one way we meet God and draw closer to him. I just don’t understand why so many think when we are nice to or polite to or concerned for a fellow parishioner at Mass we are somehow taking our focus away from God–I see it just the opposite.
The peace of Christ,
Mark
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PolarGuy
Guest
I am married many years to a most wonderful, intelligent, gorgeous Catholic lady…
…who asked me out first. And it wasn’t vague; or a hint to be asked out by me. It was an ask-out by her, plain and simple.
Blue Rose, I feel your pain – but “hoping someone else will ask you out first” is, ultimately, IMHO probably a recipe for sadness and being alone, particularly if you have the displeasure of seeing another woman walk up to Church Man and ask him out instead of you doing it.
My wife met me and told her mother she liked me. Mom said, “so what are you gonna do about it?” She asked me out. (yay, mom!) Lesson to learn: time and tide wait for no (wo)man.
There are all sorts of threads on this board, along the lines of, “there are no nice single men anywhere, let alone in Church.” One poster is distraught that God hasn’t sent her a husband. Here, you have a single man, for all you know waiting to be asked.
OK, so you’re shy…but logically, being shy is probably part of the reason you are single! We can’t keep living like we’re Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, doing the same things and expecting change.
So walk up to him after Mass and ask what time it is…when he tells you say, “that’s a nice watch, I may need a new one, where did you get yours?” and when he tells you, say what a nice homily it is but you are hungry now, want to get coffee?
Good luck!
…who asked me out first. And it wasn’t vague; or a hint to be asked out by me. It was an ask-out by her, plain and simple.
Blue Rose, I feel your pain – but “hoping someone else will ask you out first” is, ultimately, IMHO probably a recipe for sadness and being alone, particularly if you have the displeasure of seeing another woman walk up to Church Man and ask him out instead of you doing it.
My wife met me and told her mother she liked me. Mom said, “so what are you gonna do about it?” She asked me out. (yay, mom!) Lesson to learn: time and tide wait for no (wo)man.
There are all sorts of threads on this board, along the lines of, “there are no nice single men anywhere, let alone in Church.” One poster is distraught that God hasn’t sent her a husband. Here, you have a single man, for all you know waiting to be asked.
OK, so you’re shy…but logically, being shy is probably part of the reason you are single! We can’t keep living like we’re Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, doing the same things and expecting change.
So walk up to him after Mass and ask what time it is…when he tells you say, “that’s a nice watch, I may need a new one, where did you get yours?” and when he tells you, say what a nice homily it is but you are hungry now, want to get coffee?
Good luck!
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HopenHappiness
Guest
Well my husband was shyer then shy, if it weren’t for my outgoing personality we would not be together. I remember the first time I met him, all I could do is get yes and no answers out of him. We laugh at it now, but he was deathly afraid that day. Fate would have us meet later that night, where his friend and my friend took off together so he was stuck with me driving him home. That was 36 years ago and boy has he come a long way, I like to say I have rubbed off on him. So if you like him just go up and say hi, and ask him simple question about himself. Who knows what it might lead to, good luck 
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JamalChristophr
Guest
Not bread, my friend.
I can see God has indeed given you a gift for humor, but what we believe about the Eucharist is light years apart from what non-Catholics believe, so please be careful there.
God Bless You!
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underacloud
Guest
This made me laugh, because it sounds quite like when I met my wife. We met at a church event (I was visiting her church for it) and she invited me to go to a football game with her and her friends the next day. I replied that I was busy. And that was that.
Dur! :doh2: Idiot! Yep, I was that dumb guy who was socially awkward and missed the chance that she had given me.
So I spent the next couple of months going back to her parish to try to bump into her again. Thankfully I did…after about half a dozen misses.
Anyway, it’s a good suggestion. Hopefully your guy isn’t quite as dense as some.
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sadpanda2
Guest
Oh, absolutely, you’re right, but there nay be something else at work here. When I go to Mass, from the time I kneel down to place myself in God’s presence to the final dismissal, I am not in interacts with a others mode. I also don’t find it appropriate to chat in the church proper (and our parish is blessed with an appreciation of the sacred in this way), and my church is built such that (a) the only place to gather is on a small outdoor plaza and (b) the best way to the parking lot is not via that plaza.
So if it isn’t a nice day and I parked in the lot, it’s likely I will be in and out without a word to a stranger. In this age I find that some people think you’re rude if you don’t stand gossiping about what the neighbor did in front of the tabernacle, and I just won’t do it, though I’m more than pleased to interact when/where appropriate with my fellow parishioners.
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Joy2day
Guest
I think he’ll be convinced by every single one of those.
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Zachary
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Xantippe
Guest
By the way, etiquette books often have hints for women who would like to show interest without being too forward. I remember Judith Martin (Miss Manners) also recommending the old standard, “I wound up with two tickets to blah blah blah. Would you be able to come with me on Friday?” (Of course, the way you wind up with tickets is to buy them.) I wouldn’t do that with a near stranger, though.
Good luck!
Good luck!
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sadpanda2
Guest
I really have to say: let him be the one to ask you out on the SECOND date. I am also guilty of having been completely dense about picking up hints from women in the past. Chances are good that your eye isn’t the only one he’s caught, and s/he who hesitates in this life has lost.
He can ask you out numerous times, hold many doors, pay for a good number of dinners, propose, and so on … but he won’t do any of those if he isn’t very quick-witted.
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Joe_5859
Guest
This is a good point. She could opt to make a casual invitation to a first “date” (like grabbing coffee or lunch), but then leave it to him to make the next move.
Although, I can recall examples from my past where I did have girls asking to “get coffee” or “hang out” and I was still completely oblivious to the fact that the girl was interested in me.
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Xantippe
Guest
Right!This is a good point. She could opt to make a casual invitation to a first “date” (like grabbing coffee or lunch), but then leave it to him to make the next move.
Although, I can recall examples from my past where I did have girls asking to “get coffee” or “hang out” and I was still completely oblivious to the fact that the girl was interested in me.
It sounds like we moms and dads need to include some lessons on “how to know if a girl or boy is interested in you” lessons in our life skills training for the kids.
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Joe_5859
Guest
Now that you say that, I realize that I never talked to my parents about dating ever. I never thought about that connection before.
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Xantippe
Guest
Me neither.Now that you say that, I realize that I never talked to my parents about dating ever. I never thought about that connection before.
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chrisdeep
Guest
Initiating conversation is important I think. Even just a mundane “hello my name is …” is a good start. Some guys (like myself) are so shy to make that first step but having gone past it we can become quite talkative.
Other suggestions might be: eye contact during the peace offering, maybe even a smile if you can manage it. He may not smile back at first but this could just mean he is trying to read you carefully first so as not to insult you with his smile.
If you are sitting in front of him, you could also maybe try “accidentally” leaving something behind to see if he stops you to point this out. You will need to pick your moment carefully though as he may be in prayer at the time.
The advice about “Some friends and I are going out tonight to do blah blah blah [visit the new hardware store/tip cows/go roller skating]. Wanna come? Here’s my phone number.” is also a good one although the phone number may be a bit much.
And finally most guys really like it when the woman shows an interest first. So unless he is already involved with someone there is a very good chance that something will come of it.
Other suggestions might be: eye contact during the peace offering, maybe even a smile if you can manage it. He may not smile back at first but this could just mean he is trying to read you carefully first so as not to insult you with his smile.
If you are sitting in front of him, you could also maybe try “accidentally” leaving something behind to see if he stops you to point this out. You will need to pick your moment carefully though as he may be in prayer at the time.
The advice about “Some friends and I are going out tonight to do blah blah blah [visit the new hardware store/tip cows/go roller skating]. Wanna come? Here’s my phone number.” is also a good one although the phone number may be a bit much.
And finally most guys really like it when the woman shows an interest first. So unless he is already involved with someone there is a very good chance that something will come of it.
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PolarGuy
Guest
I respectfully disagree with the suggestions of, for example, “making eye contact during mass,” etc. During mass is a bad time to basically be doing something akin to socializing.
Besides, there are a lot of posters on this board whose posts can be described as “I made eye contact, now what?” There is absolutely no substitute to just starting a conversation with someone.
Besides, there are a lot of posters on this board whose posts can be described as “I made eye contact, now what?” There is absolutely no substitute to just starting a conversation with someone.
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Blue_Rose
Guest
I just want to show him I’m interested, not ask him out.
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Xantippe
Guest
As some of the male posters have explained, getting a shy guy to understand that can be rather an ordeal. He might not get it even if you did ask him out.
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Xantippe
Guest
Oh, and I agree with everybody who says to save tactical maneuvers for AFTER mass.
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