How do I show a man I'm interested?

[detoutcoeur]

I just want to show him I’m interested, not ask him out.

After Mass, ask him a question just to break the ice (where the bulletins are, if there’s daily Mass, about parking, etc.) and take it from there. Then when you see him next, you will have met and it’ll be easier to chat. Good luck!

 

[Zzyzx_Road]

Oh, and I agree with everybody who says to save tactical maneuvers for AFTER mass.

I like the way you say “tactical maneuvers” … haha, funny stuff there
I’m not so keen on parental involvement. Mine meant well, but their advice was not very good.

 

[Xantippe]

I like the way you say “tactical maneuvers” … haha, funny stuff there
I’m not so keen on parental involvement. Mine meant well, but their advice was not very good.

It was even funnier after I looked it up to check I was using the right term!

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_military_tactics

I think there have been a number of changes in how stuff works since Boomers were in college. My parents, for instance, went to a small conservative Protestant college where the big fight was over letting girls wear pants (they finally got to in the late 60s, I think), and boys were not officially allowed in the girls’ dorms. (Apparently, my dad once delivered my mom yogurt by climbing up the side of the building, or so I’m told.) It was truly a different world. On the other hand, there are a lot of basics that are true no matter what: stand up straight, look people in the eye (but not too much), smile, say hello, say please and thank you, ask questions (but not too many), try to make people comfortable, try to find common areas of interest, etc. I heard “stand up straight!” so often when I was a kid and deeply resented it at the time, and yet, now that I’m a parent, I can see what a difference it makes when a schoolage child stands up straight and doesn’t look all slumpy, defeated and resentful.

 

[chrisdeep]

I respectfully disagree with the suggestions of, for example, “making eye contact during mass,” etc. During mass is a bad time to basically be doing something akin to socializing.

Besides, there are a lot of posters on this board whose posts can be described as “I made eye contact, now what?” There is absolutely no substitute to just starting a conversation with someone.

If I may offer a bit of clarification on this, I think my phrase “eye contact” was poorly chosen and a bit misleading.
I totally understand where you are coming from and I agree this is a valid and important point. However, I have heard many sermons about how we can sometimes be totally oblivious to the person next to us during mass. We even had one priest who would tell us to turn and greet our neighbours and this was after the mass had begun. I felt awkward doing this during mass but I remember always feeling something good just afterwards. I believe that the LITURGY OF THE EUCHARIST and anything connected with the EUCHARIST are the only parts of the mass where you should strictly not be distracted unless of course someone close to you is having a heart attack or something. (Please note this is not an excuse to sleep through the rest of Mass).

I personally feel that being in church and within the order of the Mass makes us more open with our feelings and is a good time and place to show someone we would like to get closer to them, for example with a smile or just a look. We should know when and where to draw the line though and above all to know for sure we are doing this out of love and that we feel comfortable with this. If not the safest thing is just not to.