How do I tell my Mother I don't feel safe around her?

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Has your mother actually said she’d be okay with this? 😮
There is a huge difference between “I support the legality of abortion” and “I would, without hesitation, obtain an abortion myself.” I unfortunately know lots of people who hold the first belief. Fortunately, I know very, very few people who hold the second.
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Not exactly. But she has failed to demonstrate the difference between that and earlier term abortion. I wouldn’t let her near my child unless she professed that Catholic Church was right on it’s teachings of abortion and that my child and myself were people upon conception.
 
Alright, stop it. Just stop it.

Do you hear yourself right now?

You will not get forgiveness when you act through revenge. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. If you don’t want to spend the rest of your life getting progressively more bitter and resentful, get a counselor. If you do, continue down your path.

Talk to a Priest. Even better, print out your posts on this thread and show him. See what he makes of it.
 
Well I don’t know what will get them to WAKE UP. Someone has to jolt them into action.
 
Riman643 said:
Well I don’t know what will get them to WAKE UP. Someone has to jolt them into action.
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Getting their marriage annulled will not wake them up to believing in Catholicism. They don’t believe in a lot of what the Church teaches, why would they listen to an annulment? Revenge will only cause them pain, and then what? Them being in pain doesn’t take away the pain you’re in.

You need to work with the parents you have, not the ones you think you can force them into being. Accept that you cannot make them revert, you cannot make them apologise, you cannot change your past and fix the mistakes you made.

You can solve how those mistakes affect your future. Talk to a Priest, talk to a counselor. Show them your posts here.
 
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Riman643 said:
You honestly think.your mother -.who presumably cpuld have but chose to NOT discard you or have your brains sucked out, before birth, thinks you are garbage?
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Good heavens. You appear to be projecting a whole lot of things onto your mother that from what you have said almost certainly bear little relationship to what she actually thinks or feels. No wonder she acts appalled . You are encouraging her to assault you and expect her NOT to be appalled? Seriously unhealthy sounding behaviour on your part.
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Riman643 said:
Well I don’t know what will get them to WAKE UP. Someone has to jolt them into action.
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Your methods clearly aren’t working. I should think that alone would be reason enough to serioisly reconsider how you are thinking and acting.
 
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Riman643 said:
I’m looking for actual solutions to my current problem.
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You’re not going to find them on an internet forum. Whatever is going on with you requires the services of a competent mental health professional. Make an appointment to speak with a counselor, and also to speak with your pastor.

Sorry, but you have real issues, and your mother’s stance on abortion is a red herring distracting you from your real problems, whatever they may be.
 
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Riman643 said:
Not exactly. But she has failed to demonstrate the difference between that and earlier term abortion. I wouldn’t let her near my child unless she professed that Catholic Church was right on it’s teachings of abortion and that my child and myself were people upon conception.
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I don’t know how else to say this: this is a weird thing to say. This is not normal or healthy or Christian. I get that you just rediscovered Catholicism and now you’re “all in” but it seems to me that the issues you have with your parents are much deeper than whether they agree with the tenets of Catholicism. I think you need to sit down with a professional, truly.
 
Riman643 said:
In fact, I am surprised that they were even allowed to marry in the Church and looking into possible annulment. I don’t think a non-married party can initiate it but I am willing to try.
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Dude, STOP. Stop trying to annul your parents marriage. What are you thinking? Again, this is not normal. Please talk to a priest and a therapist. Catholicism is not the means to express your resentment by punishing your parents.
 
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I will try a response to this when time allows. This spot saved for that.
Dominus vobiscum
 
Riman643 said:
She has noticed I have become very distant but I’m sure what to say to a woman who clearly doesn’t value the life of her own children or let her know that’s why I am distant from her without her taking offense.
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You’re planning to ghost her —why are you worried about her taking offense?

Based on your threads, the best thing you could do is get professional help. This level of anger is not appropriate to the situation.
 
Riman643 said:
. In fact, I am surprised that they were even allowed to marry in the Church and looking into possible annulment. I don’t think a non-married party can initiate it but I am willing to try. Could be the wakeup call they need.
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Just so that you’re clear, no, you cannot initiate a decree of nullity.
 
Sorry if I sound a bit unsympathetic here, but when I clicked this link, I was expecting a genuine problem, i.e. somebody who is actually not safe around their mom. For example:
  • Your mom has dementia and is violent toward you. This is not particularly unusual, although people often don’t like to talk about it.
  • Your mom has some kind of psychosis, e.g. paranoid delusions, and may harm you because she perceives you as a threat.
  • Your mom has some kind of personality disorder, e.g. narcissism, and is emotionally abusive.
  • You mom is an alcoholic/drug user and engages in risky behavior in your home, e.g. dealers visiting your home, using your home for sex work, etc.
  • Your mom is a pedophile and/or enables a partner who is a pedophile.
These are the kinds of situations in which people are genuinely not safe around a parent and would not allow them to see their grandchildren.

So, you and your mom disagree about abortion. Fair enough, I am a Catholic and I am pro-life. But I do not go around saying I feel unsafe around the majority of people who support legal abortion. Most people in many different kinds of societies agree with abortion in some circumstances. Even in Brazil, only about 18 percent of people think abortion should be illegal in all circumstances. In Poland, which is strongly Catholic, that figure falls to 7 percent. In France, it’s less than 1 percent. Would you feel unsafe around 99.4 percent of French people?

Seriously, I have some sympathy, because I think you have other problems to deal with. Your attitude is not normal. You should get professional help. But you also should maybe think first before you begin saying stuff like this in public.
 
UpUpAndAway said:
There is a huge difference between “I support the legality of abortion” and “I would, without hesitation, obtain an abortion myself.” I unfortunately know lots of people who hold the first belief. Fortunately, I know very, very few people who hold the second.
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I wouldn’t personally own a slave but think it should be legal.

Yeah, I still don’t want anything to do with you.
 
Riman643 said:
In fact, I am surprised that they were even allowed to marry in the Church and looking into possible annulment. I don’t think a non-married party can initiate it but I am willing to try.
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This is the most most blatant overstepping of bounds I have seen expressed on this site in a long time.
Between this and your other thread, it shows what a bitter, vindictive person you are. You seriously need to get some professional help or you will live a long, lonely life. No one will ever live up to your self imposed standards. No woman will ever satisfy your need to have absolute control over how they think and behave.

Since you have all the answers, you really should be out on your own and not living off your parents. Your attempts to justify living there by paying them back shows your lack of respect because they said they do not want your money. But you continue to bash your parents while living under their roof.

How Christian is that? Stop judging your parents and look at your own face in the mirror.
 
From what I’ve gathered, you are a university-aged re-vert to the faith?

I was myself, so I can see where your feelings are coming from.

I think you genuinely believe that you are following church teachings as best you can.

But your attitude towards you mother here and in your other thread is, … unusual.

By your reasoning, we should call CPS on all pro-choice parents because they don’t love their kids? As was previously said, while Catholics are called to be pro-life, many pro-choicers only support abortion in the case of rape, or when a child would likely suffer abuse or neglect. Many of them would NEVER abort their own children, but worry for those parents and kids in less than ideal situations. From your threads, you were born into a two-parent household with enough money to support you through uni. This is better than many children have. I’m not saying I am pro-choice or that pro-choice is right, but I think you need to understand that being pro-life is easier for you than others. It seems weird that you worry your mother would harm your children just because she’s pro-choice.
 
Riman643 said:
If anyone needs mental health treatment it’s her.
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There’s a saying: I need therapy to deal with the people in my life who need therapy!

That’s very much a legit reason to see a counselor. It’s certainly why I’ve sought counseling! It doesn’t mean you’re a bad or crazy person. It simply means there’s a problem in your life that you need help solving. Many of us talk to our priests for the same reason, although they’re profoundly busy and a lot harder to pin down!

Counseling shouldn’t have the stigma that it does in our society. And where you’re a college student, it’s often cheap or free on campus.

I will definitely include you in my prayers!
 
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