How do we respond to the "sex abuse scandal"?

[Student09]

It doesn’t appear that there is much direct attack on the Church, it isn’t like people are saying that the teachings of Jesus led to abuse. In fact it is the opposite of attacking the Church, people are voicing their displeasure and distaste for the actions of those that abused kids and those that enabled more abuse to go on.

Well … there is genuine anger over the abuse, yes, as there should be, but there are also a lot of people saying that this proves the Church is just a corrupt sham institution and everything they do is bad. I’ve encountered this line of thought in the media and also heard it from (non-Catholic) family members of mine.

But I agree with those who have said that the best response is an acknowledgment of hurt, of outrage, not an attempt to defend anything.

I think all Catholics should keep in mind when they are talking to someone about these matters, that that person may very well have been sexually abused or have a loved one who was sexually abused. If you are talking to someone who (though you don’t know it) was molested by his/her father as a child, and you say, “Look, sexual abuse is way more common in public schools and families than in the Church!” that person is not only going to be profoundly unimpressed, but is going to be hurt, insulted, and will associate that hurt and insult with insensitive Catholics.

 

[Benadam]

Well … there is genuine anger over the abuse, yes, as there should be, but there are also a lot of people saying that this proves the Church is just a corrupt sham institution and everything they do is bad. I’ve encountered this line of thought in the media and also heard it from (non-Catholic) family members of mine.

But I agree with those who have said that the best response is an acknowledgment of hurt, of outrage, not an attempt to defend anything.

I think all Catholics should keep in mind when they are talking to someone about these matters, that that person may very well have been sexually abused or have a loved one who was sexually abused. If you are talking to someone who (though you don’t know it) was molested by his/her father as a child, and you say, “Look, sexual abuse is way more common in public schools and families than in the Church!” that person is not only going to be profoundly unimpressed, but is going to be hurt, insulted, and will associate that hurt and insult with insensitive Catholics.

Excellent observation.

 

[portarica]

Well … there is genuine anger over the abuse, yes, as there should be, but there are also a lot of people saying that this proves the Church is just a corrupt sham institution and everything they do is bad. I’ve encountered this line of thought in the media and also heard it from (non-Catholic) family members of mine.

But I agree with those who have said that the best response is an acknowledgment of hurt, of outrage, not an attempt to defend anything.

I think all Catholics should keep in mind when they are talking to someone about these matters, that that person may very well have been sexually abused or have a loved one who was sexually abused. If you are talking to someone who (though you don’t know it) was molested by his/her father as a child, and you say, “Look, sexual abuse is way more common in public schools and families than in the Church!” that person is not only going to be profoundly unimpressed, but is going to be hurt, insulted, and will associate that hurt and insult with insensitive Catholics.

I think you make some good points, but do you think we have a responsibility as members of the congregation to do something to get those who abused and condoned abuse out of the church?

Peace

 

[Student09]

I think you make some good points, but do you think we have a responsibility as members of the congregation to do something to get those who abused and condoned abuse out of the church?

What do you mean by “out of the church” - do you mean excommunicated? I don’t know if they should all be automatically excommunicated; maybe. I’m a catechumen and I don’t yet fully understand the circumstances in which someone would be excommunicated or all the implications. At the very least, action should be taken so that they can no longer harm people and justice should be served. Does that answer your question?

 

[Aboveallbereal]

Devient child abusing clergy should face the full rigour of the law. Bishops who for whatever well intentioned or weak minded reasons facilitated these abusers should resign.

It really is that simple. We all know that much commnet is anti catholic agenda driven hype. We know that but we also know there has been a problem.

A serial abuser of deaf children should have been defrocked despite his pitiful self serving pleas to Rome. The Pope and other need to get real with these homosexual pederasts and have them out ofthe clefgy.

 

[gamewell45]

While I am in NO way attempting to justify these priests or their actions, there are a few things we have to keep in mind with this situation.

ANYTIME there is a scandal in the Catholic church, you can bet your bottom dollar that the media is going to blow it WAY out of proportion, paint all priests with the same brush, and villify the church as much as possible. Is it any coincidence that this is happening at the same time as the healthcare bill? The church is pretty outspoken against it due to it’s pro-abortion statements.

My husband and I both work for the local school district. I can assure you (as much as this makes me positively SICK) that these kinds of abuses are everywhere. Protestant churches (I knew one molester personally, and the child as well), schools (rampant, and occurs almost every day), day cares, and just on the streets. In any place where there are children, there are going to be predators. Parents HAVE to be vigilant. The thing is, you only really hear about these abuses in the church. Why? Because the Catholic church is so anti-cultural. We preach modesty, temperance, abstinance, and life. These are all things the current culture finds disgusting, and they are looking for any failure to point and say “look! They are no better!”

I’d also like to add that given the media coverage of this, up against other instances of teachers or protestant pastors found in the same sin, I’d be willing to bet top dollar that the abuses done by Catholic priests are far more rare than other demographics. The Catholic church is just big, and therefore a prime target. I know when it happened at my old church, the pastors and board just covered it up so no one had to know and it wasn’t reported as a church offense.

I am not justifying the disgusting actions of these priests. I am not seeking to defend those who protected any of them. They should be called out, and disciplined harshly. There are just no words for the crime they committed against those so innocent and helpless. I am hoping we as a church will learn and move on.

The Catholic Church is a city on a hill, and all of the faults will be exposed by a world seeking to bring us down.

I too am a convert, (we’ve been catholic the same amount of time to be honest. I will be 3 years catholic this easter) and I can tell you that while the news saddens me, I am not shaken. I proudly belong to a church who follows Christ, and is made up of broken people. I will pray for the priests, pray for the victims and their families, and pray for the church that this will make us stronger, and more able to recognize when these things are going on so we can stop it.

Are you suggesting that the media not report on these incidents that happen? Or should they “sanitize” the stories so they are more palatable to all citizens? Please elaborate if you would.

 

[centurionguard]

Are you suggesting that the media not report on these incidents that happen? Or should they “sanitize” the stories so they are more palatable to all citizens? Please elaborate if you would.

The Global Media aggrandizes and embellishes almost everything she writes so that it looks like absolute truth. After all she is the (“Great Whore”). Seems most people in this world enjoy sleeping with her and being seduced by her articulate literary charms and beauty.

Are we all so gullible?

 

[Benedict_777]

"To be connected with the church is to be associated with scoundrels, warmongers, fakes, child-molesters, murderers, adulterers and hypocrites of every description.

It also, at the same time, identifies you with saints and the finest persons of heroic soul of every time, country, race, and gender.

To be a member of the church is to carry the mantle of both the worst sin and the finest heroism of soul because the church always looks exactly as it looked at the original crucifixion, God hung among thieves."
– Fr. Ronald Rolheiser, O.M.I., “The Holy Longing”

 

[The_Geographer]

You are more likely to be abused by parents, school teachers, and sports coaches. Yet these sets of people have influence on the young and are generally regarded as worthwhile.

It angers me greatly when the evil of a certain man is used to attack the Church. Nothing is ever said of those faithful priests, who spends hours offering Masses for the souls entrusted to them, hearing confessions, getting up at 3am to visit dying parishioners, giving constant spiritual direction and then are looked upon with contempt.

Oh, that made me feel better.

 

[Guyonthestreet]

Are you suggesting that the media not report on these incidents that happen? Or should they “sanitize” the stories so they are more palatable to all citizens? Please elaborate if you would.

There is little doubt that the mainstream media are having a field day. There is also little doubt that the mainstream media, on occasions, never let facts get in the way of a good story.

However, I think the church should be grateful to the media. The media exposes have given it the courage to do what it could not up to that point.

Face head-on the fact it has a huge problem.

 

[The_Geographer]

Let’s stop kidding ourselves. There is no excuse, nor should anyone be trying to defend the Church or any official within the Church that covered this up or tried to or committed the sin. Everyone should be supportive of civil authorities bringing the accused to justice, whether in their favor or not. One the civil courts take care of the problems the Church will have no choice but to implement policies that not only protect the priests, but mostly the laity and especially the children. If God can’t get his son’s to change then He’ll let the civil courts do it for Him while bringing shame upon the individuals that allowed it or did it. Thank God, God is still in control.

“There ain’t no right way to do wrong.”
CSM ??? 1988

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

Are you suggesting that the media not report on these incidents that happen? Or should they “sanitize” the stories so they are more palatable to all citizens? Please elaborate if you would.

Sorry, no. I didn’t mean to say that the media not report on it. I am saying that the MSM does a disproportionate coverage of the church scandals that other places where such atrocities occur. It brands priests as prdophiles, while incidents elsewhere go unnoticed.

The media should cover these things. But to the same degree as other places where abuse occurs. If the purpose is to protect the kids, then they should report when teachers are foung abusing kids, or other churches as well. I myself was a member of a church that saw sexual abuse of a minor that was never reported on. It seems to me by the disproportinate coverage of these scandals when compared to other coverage, the MSM seems to seek to villify the church. You only need to listen to moden comedians to see that priests, while statstically one of the safest groups of people to work with children (parents and teachers being some of the most statistically dangerous) are always used as the butt of the jokes pertaining to pedophila because priest has become to linked to pedophila in our culture by the MSM.

 

[H_Opey]

How do we, should we, respond when you hear it on the news?
I always take it with a grain of salt and check other sources to see if it is being covered fairly.
It also is a reminder to pray for the victims.
The smearing of Pope Benedict this past week has been unfair.
What some in the media leave out and in SNAP too, is that the Bishops were responsible for handling these with exception of a few cases (solicitation in the confessional).
Pope Benedict pushed to have that changed when he was Cardinal. Since 2001 all cases of serious of abuse were supposed to go to the Vatican to prevent cover up.
Some Bishops did not do what they were supposed to do. They had the authority and ability to remove the offending priests, but whether they were misguided by drs (who thought they could cure them) or just plain negligent is what happened.

So, I don’t trust all things I hear on the news.

 

[H_Opey]

Also, to the OP, welcome home!
I can tell you as a parent, some things I review in order to check to see how pro active I am/can be.

After checking the story, if it is misleading and false, can I write a letter to the editor?
Do I know what the policy is for my diocese dealing with responding/reporting?
Do I know what grooming looks like? (we can be the eyes and ears for the children/adults)
Does my diocese have, what I call, a minimum for what is required? Do they only want to know when abuse has happened? Have I asked that it include grooming also? If I suspect a child or adult has/is being groomed, have I gone to my priest and/or Bishop/VG? If they ignored me, have I at least let the parents/potential victim know my concerns?
Does my diocese have a group set up for all victims? (Maria Goretti Network is good group for all victims of abuse).
Do I disregard victims in my speech when they come forward?
Do I keep these victims in my prayers?

Those are just a few things I try to do.

 

[Zoe_Brain]

Back in 1992, Sinhead O’Connor appeared on Saturday Night Live as a musical guest. She was singing an a cappella version of Bob Marley’s “War,” which she intended as a protest over the sexual abuse in the Roman Catholic Church, by changing the lyric “racism” to “child abuse.”

Few believed her. For would not the Church have revealed such a scandal, if it existed? This was 18 years ago, remember.

And the hatred of Catholics for her was all too evident two weeks later.

She was greeted by a thundering mixture of cheers and jeers. During the booing, Kris Kristofferson told her not to “let the bastards get you down,” to which she replied, “I’m not down.” The noise eventually became so loud that O’Connor saw no point in starting the scheduled song. She called for the keyboard player to stop and the microphone to be turned up, and then screamed over the audience with an improvised, shouted rendition of “War”. This time, she sang the song, stopping just after the part in which the lyrics talk about child abuse, emphasizing the point of her previous action. She then looked straight to the audience for a second and left the stage. Kristofferson then comforted her, as she cried

The video is here so you can see for yourself the righteous anger of all good Catholics against anyone who would say such terrible things about the Church. Things that couldn’t possibly be true, but had to be malicious lies, slander of the worst kind.

Except they were true, aye, and more. And the Archbishops and Bishops, even the Cardinals knew it. And held their peace. And let her be denigrated most vilely.

I have seen many quotes saying that Catholics should be of good heart, for it is written in scripture that the Righteous shall be despised. And so they were, and are. Just not in the way they mean.

Sorry, but the Church hierarchy have lost the right to see themselves as victims. The only ones who truly are, the vast majority of Priests and Religious who had no part in either the rapine, nor the cover-up, they’re the ones beating their breasts in penance. The true victims within the Church are the only ones who don’t claim to be, but are suffering torture of the soul for crimes they couldn’t prevent. And the true victims outside the Church, the tens of thousands of violated children, they’ve received nothing substantial in the way of comfort nor apology. Where are the sermons for them? Who is to mend their fractured faith?
From the BBC:

At the Palm Sunday service, Pope Benedict, 82, did not directly mention the wider scandal - involving the abuse of children by priests in several countries.

But he told the tens of thousands of people gathered to hear him that God helped lead “towards the courage of not allowing oneself to be intimidated by the petty gossip of dominant opinion”.

Not perhaps the most sensitive of statements.

The defence of the Holy Father by the Archbishop of Westminster rings true though.

The most senior Catholic in England and Wales, Archbishop of Westminster Vincent Nichols, said just one case of child abuse was enough to create “justifiable anger”.
He said the “anger and dismay” over the alleged cover-up by some Catholic clergy was “proper”.
However, he added allegations about the Pope’s involvement were unfounded.

He told the BBC’s Andrew Marr Show: "He [the Pope] pushed forward for example a fast-track to defrock priests who have committed abuse. He changed the statute of limitations in Church law.
“He changed the law so that sexual offences committed with anyone under the age of 18 would be a crime in Church law.”

Because it wasn’t before you see. A cynic would say it was more of a fringe benefit, a perquisite of office.

I’m not quite that cynical. I realise that there are monsters, and some wear Clerical garb. Not just of the Catholic church either.

The Church’s unique sin is not in allowing these pedophiles to operate: it’s the shielding of them from consequences. Not the Crime, but the cover-up, a conspiracy to pervert the course of justice that permeated, and still permeates, the Church from the lowest to the highest levels. I don’t think the topmost though. I can’t say I’m absolutely sure though, not now, not after the Pope’s dismissal of serious and well-founded charges as “idle gossip”.

 

[BettyM]

I think we need to remember that the Church has been through hard times before but Jesus promised that the gates of hell would not prevail against it. I am a Catholic revert and have been bothered by this also. I am also bothered, though, when I hear of children being abused by parents, teachers, child molesters, parents of friends, friends, youth pastors of protestant churches, pastors of protestant churches and others.
The Church, I feel, is doing the right thing. It is trying to make things right. They made mistakes and have hurt alot of people and there is a lot of healing to be done, but I believe the Holy Spirit will help because He was promised to us. We need to pray and pray alot for the Church.
I will say as a revert who has been 12 years in the protestant churches there are alot of problems there, too. It is just the smaller the denomination the less it is going to make the news. The Catholic Church is big and makes the news and if people can find mistakes there they feel they have reasons not to join.
I heard once that Napolean Bonapart said he was going to destroy the Church and the response he got was, if we have not been able to destroy if from within you are not going to destroy from the outside.
It is God’s visible church for us and I have found maybe the best is to be apologetic but grateful Jesus is with us to help us heal and solve our problems.

 

[The_Geographer]

He told the BBC’s Andrew Marr Show: "He [the Pope] pushed forward for example a fast-track to defrock priests who have committed abuse. He changed the statute of limitations in Church law.
"He changed the law so that sexual offences committed with anyone under the age of 18 would be a crime in Church law."

Why not a crime for priests that inappropriately molested young men or women in vulnerable positions. Much more to the “scenario”. Prayer is not enough. THESE ISSUES CALL FOR SHOUTING VOICES AS CHRIST SAID THAT EVEN THE ROCKS WOULD SCREAM OUT… the other days readings on Palm Sunday I believe it was. The laity must keep the clergy in line as well as the Clergy take care of the flock. This “Clericalism” is only a tool to keep people, us the laity, in check from embarrassing them. These crimes are so severe that to allow them to continue is at least as scandalous. Would you allow a teacher to molest your child or college age children? - particularly if they are under that professor or teacher.

Say a young adult was invited to a weekend of sailing, say while…in the seminary. The seminarian thought the invite was innocent and excitedly agreed to the invitation to relax…say…because of intense exams coming up. Then after a day of sailing they go back to the diocese building where the priest lived. While there the priest tells the guy to sleep in the comfort of the bed and the seminarian naively unwilling to let his imagination go in the direction of thinking something bad about the priest because say he was his professor and maybe even a spiritual director. The bed is huge and so to diffuse any inkling of an idea that he would ever give into that sort of thing even if this was one of those but says “I know this would never happen because I’ve never been that way.” Erroniously the seminarian wakes up in the middle of the night with the priests fondling him… Then the seminarian freezes and jumps up as soon as his shock allows him to move before anything else happens. The seminarian reports this to other seminarians trying to figure out what to do about it. He then reports it a couple of days when the shock and fear wares off enough to attempt defending others from this crime…yes, its called rape when someone makes unwanted advances on someone when they are unaware of it…

In the process of reporting it he finds out from various sources that the vocation director is a known same sex attraction and purposefully recruits hopeful converts to the life style. Then while trying to regain his dignity he enters into a sinful heterosexual life with someone he is truly attracted to because he’s afraid that his first sexual experience might end up with a male. And after hearing about a couple of rapes by other seminarians he really distances himself from it. I discovers that no one is willing to really do what must be done. He then calls the vocation office to inform them that his will not be continuing attending the seminary because he now “has a girlfriend”. The vocation director then says okay and leaves him alone. No one gives or presses him to get counseling over the incident. He stills feels called but scandalized to the point that no one will even discuss what happened to him about it…not even his Catholic family that don’t want to hear about it. He ends up chasing one empty thing after another until one day the relationship with the girl ends, say 4 years later, because the mother of the young lady only agreed to let them date because “if he’s not rich at least he went to the seminary” and then forces them to wait…to the point where there are discouraged from considering marriage. The young man now joins the military and finds himself reeled back to orthodoxy but then he runs into a priest that seems to always make strange pictures of his crotch and hands them to him. He decides that God must still be calling him to be a priest because he feels the call, but believes he is not good enough for it even though he is practicing the faith. He doesn’t feel worthy enough to pursue it because his entire life fell apart over it. He then runs in to a Protestant family, falls head over hills for a family, not just a girl, that actually stands up for what they believe and even tries to run away because he’s already in the process of returning to the seminary, but this time looking for another one to enter. He falls in love but struggling because she’s not Catholic and has many ministers ranging from deacons, preachers and bishops/elders in her family. Her dad is an elder…lets say. He then hears a voice, literally that says, its okay you can marry her 3 times. While getting ready to marry her he finds out that he needs 3 dispensations, thinking he only needed one, maybe 2 at the most because her family would never allow her to get married in a Catholic Church because of their sinful justifications for divorce and remarriage. They are much more determined to make marriages work. The men are strong and seem noble, willing to stand up against any act of sin, especially this reported type.

 

[The_Geographer]

cont’d

The story goes on to say that the guy ends up completely losing his confidence in the so call Catholic Hierarchy that calls themselves Church leaders with all of those man made rules that are no where in the bible. He now believes he was never Catholic after all because not only did the priests not stand up for him and all the others he knew but the laity never stood up and protested to the point that something was actually done about it…the story goes on, but one day he discovers that something is beginning to actually happen about all of those abuses he knew about, but because he was 18 he has no recourse the that recourse set in front of him is sill fought against getting him the kind of help he really needs. He finds himself back in the Catholic Church with his wife who found peace in it, ironically. He thinks she’s crazy and asks her simple questions about Mary and the Saints. She regurgitates something that actually makes sense and finds himself converting back in his heart, but can’t understand why anyone would want to be Catholic since not only do Catholics not know or seems to care what the actual ancient Church teachings are but they were constantly making up or trying to change what the truth actually is. That combined with bishops unwilling to “correct” the flock must mean its apostate as his Christian faith had taught him. Now he’s faced with a major issue because he never understood why he still felt called to the priesthood all of those years and this may be why. He then enters into a dialog with Orthodox priests thinking that must be the correct path since they allow married men to be ordained. He finds his wife completely resistant to it and determined to become Latin rite Catholic, terms he learns on his journey. He is repeated told he could be called to the priesthood because he is married. He still insists that he still feels called to being clergy and then discovers what deacons do in the Church. Though its somewhat different is sounds like that may be what he was feeling called to after all those years. If then discovers that the only deacon he ever new was also an unfaithful deacon and even had affairs while in the deacon program and is now on his death bead living with a woman. The entire family is broken, including one suicide…

You see, bishops that are unwilling to STOP these abuses have much blood on their hands. And why they don’t see it is totally unacceptable. They have destroyed many vocations as a result of their unwillingness to do something ORTHODOX about the sexual issues. Now many of the clergy this young man once knew are now stripped of their faculties, but not because of the bishops actions but the clergy’s actual choices later on. The priest that molested the young seminarian was moved to a small parish as Pastor and in 1985 returns to college and then ends up married. His career kicks off and the victims he’s left behind are numerous. He is allowed to walk free when he probably should have actually been put into jail before he even met the young seminarian. You see that young seminarian found out withing a year that that priest was in fact moved out of a Catholic School where he was a predator. Many of whom have left the Catholic Church for it. Their new founded and proven belief is that no bishop will defend them or their children.

 

[The_Geographer]

I think we need to remember that the Church has been through hard times before but Jesus promised that the gates of hell would not prevail against it. I am a Catholic revert and have been bothered by this also. I am also bothered, though, when I hear of children being abused by parents, teachers, child molesters, parents of friends, friends, youth pastors of protestant churches, pastors of protestant churches and others.

But that does not mean that there wouldn’t be hard choices to correct sinful clergy. It also bothers me. And priests should be held to a higher accountability because of their role and their vocation…especially when they are making such sacrifices that apparently are much more difficult that people are allowed to acknowledge for men since the very beginning. Origin castrated himself. The middle ages are full of stories of sinful men and their concubines and mistresses. There are countless stories of these kinds of abuse. yet we continue to sit back and allow it to go on without backing the bishops into a corner and making them do something about it. We are so pathetic, the laity that is. The greatness of Saints is being subdued by the filth of the few. This is a serious problem that must be dealt with harshly by the priests. There is no room for wiggle in this anymore. I believe God has finally called them on it and this “calling the bishops out on the carpet” is an answer to my prayers - not out of hate or pride, but justified anger from first hand experience.

 

[kage_ar]

Sounds like it is time to lay off the novels and soap operas.