I guess my question is exactly what the title says it is: how do I become an effective (and competent) apologist for the Catholic faith?
First and foremost, remember this quote: “I used to tend toward the arrogant side in my apologetics, and people stopped listening to me because I would beat them down with my words instead of raise them up to the level of the One of Whom I was speaking.” That’s from an apologist named Peter Johnson. That’s vitally important, because it’s the nature of apologetics to lower ourselves in order to lift up others, not to shout down at them from heights of arrogance and pride.
Remember also that, “In Christianity, you will certainly find those who are willing to turn the other cheek, and even those who are willing to turn others’ cheeks, but you will at least not find those who doubt they have cheeks to turn. Likewise, in Christian teaching you will find empathy, and even enmity, but you will not find apathy. And why? Because it can never be said that Christianity doesn’t teach that there are things worth fighting for, even if it teaches that the best way to fight for them is not to fight at all.” I ask you to remember this so that you never are tempted to give off defending the truth. Be steadfast! It is worth fighting for!
Now, on to the basic things to do to become a great apologist. Taken from the book, “The Concise Catholic Apologist,” which is not yet published.
What to do first.
Prayer. Prayer, prayer, prayer, prayer, PRAYER! Prayer before, prayer during, prayer after! This is the most important thing. Pray to God. Let Him do the talking. That’s usually the most effective thing you can do, and the best way to prevent many common apologetics errors.
What to learn:
Logic. Learn basic reasoning, learn to recognize and avoid fallacies. Learn to construct solid arguments that are both true and valid.
Scripture. Study and pray the Scriptures. Learn their history, their context. Study the ancient languages if you can. Learn common anti-Catholic arguments and their refutations. Meditate on them. Pray over them.
Tradition. Read the Fathers, learn the Traditions of the Church, be able to harmonize and synthesize Scripture and Tradition for those who don’t understand Tradition’s nature.
Philosophy and Theology. Learn philosophical and theological arguments in defense of the faith. Be wary, since a little theology can be a dangerous thing. Don’t rely simply on what you read, find a teacher, someone who is orthodox.
How to engage:
Attitude. Figure out the attitudes that draw people in and push them away. Arrogance, pride, know-it-allism, etc. push people away. Humility, lifting them up to God instead of trampling them down, these things bring them in. Practice them. Charity can bring people in even when you don’t deliver a perfect argument. Beautiful reasoning and theology delivered uncharitably will push them away and ruin the message. I struggle with this one a lot.
Audience. As someone already said, KNOW your audience. Remember that often, particularly online, there are many people reading without commenting, who your tone, charitability, etc. will influence. Remember that people want you to listen to them, and want to feel as if they’ve been listened to. People want you to address what they SAY, not just what you think they say. Learn about other religions, study them, not just Catholicism, so you know their beliefs.
Tactics. There are specific tactics that will serve you better than others. One is the usage of “service words” and phrases, like “I understand.” Avoid words that cause confusion, like “judge.” Try “discern” instead, or “evaluate,” or “analyze.” Ask questions constantly. This will allow you to control the flow of conversation, really focus in on what their argument and issue really is, and make them to understand that you’re interested in them and what they have to say. Focus on planting seeds, do not expect instant conversions or even graceful acceptance of error. Equally important are the things NOT to do here. Do not copy/paste arguments. Do not barrage people with too much information for them to handle. Do not be afraid to change things up or exit a situation where you’re tempted to be uncharitable. Do not use too complicated of words, tailor your speech to your audience. Essentially, follow the Golden Rule
Why?
Motivation and Purpose: Develop proper motivations. Focus on the spiritual works of mercy. Avoid arguing out of pride, a desire to destroy heresies or other religions, particularly as these can cause defensiveness and withdrawal.
When?
A particular issue many apologist struggle with is when it is appropriate to engage in apologetics, particularly in intimate and personal situations with family, friends, co-workers, etc. I cannot offer particular guidance here, so I shall turn to those wiser than myself. First, remember the immortal words of St. Francis, “Preach the Gospel always, when necessary use words.” Live the Gospel. Live the Joy and Love of Christ. This is the most effective witness and apologia possible. Second, from a vocations director I know, make your decisions decisions made in love, not out of fear. Lead your life based on love, and you shall have no regrets. Finally, a personal piece of advice that I was reminded of just the other week at Mass. You might be the only Christ someone meets that day. Love them as He would. See them as He would.