How do you "feel" as a Catholic?

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As a high schooler who as rather recently (February) started actually caring about their faith and the state of their soul, I’m struggling. I feel like every time I’m trying to do something right, I mess up or I find out something that I didn’t know before that worries me. I sort of still have scruples although I think it’s gotten better which is awesome. But, intrusive thoughts have replaced it.
I ask for saint’s intercessions, ask the Holy Spirit for guidance, I thank Jesus (I find myself speaking to Him more than God the Father) and ask for forgiveness and help, I pray for souls in Purgatory, and I always ask for Mary’s prayers every night and I’m trying to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy either at 3pm if I have time or remember or stop being lazy (trying to work on that) or at night. Besides the intrusive thoughts bothering me during those times, I also just feel like I’m saying the words sometimes with no feeling for what I’m praying.
I try and put in feeling, sometimes I’m praying because I’m so frustrated and really need help but I don’t think I see progress.
At Mass, I try very hard to focus, to ask for mercy, to praise God, to ask for His help in my upcoming week, and to keep my mind off of those intrusive thoughts. I KNOW that Jesus is there, Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity in the Eucharist but I feel nothing. If anything, I feel fear for the fact that I wonder if I’m supposed to feel something deep down inside me and if I don’t, then I must not believe and I must be on the wrong track.
I read about saints who knew Christ and Mary and other saints because of voices, or visions and if they didn’t have those, somehow they all believed. They had true, deep, belief and I want that so badly but I just don’t know if I have it yet. Or how I’m supposed to know if I do. I really want to be aware of God in my life and in the Church and Mass. I want that and yet somehow I don’t know if there’s some other level that I need to feel that want on?
 
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I don’t doubt the Catholic Faith, I care very much about it. I don’t like it when people insult our Faith or things about it and I want the Truths to be taught well. I don’t want other youth to wind up how I did in early high school, lost, knowing facts but not some of the most crucial ones to my state in life, angry, and sinning without even knowing.
I also have a lot of fear of ending up in Hell and so I want to do everything right which I’ve noticed might put up a road block in the line of God’s Love.
So I guess I’m writing this to ask how you “feel”. Do you guys actually notice any “feeling” as we can humanly understand it? Or is it just knowing that somehow, even if you can never comprehend any feeling, you believe it. And you just don’t question it? Was there a point where it really sank in that you deep down believed in God and could feel that? I believe in God. I know there is no other real explanation for anything and there’s too many saint stories and such for Him not to be real. I know that but I want to feel His Realness so that I experience it and notice that experience.
Maybe I’m crazy? Maybe it’s a teen thing and it doesn’t really sink in yet for most of us?
I definitely don’t want to give up, a lot of that is because of fear of Hell, but I also want to keep striving so that I can really know, love, and serve God on this Earth. I want that, I really do.
I don’t know if I just hear too much Protestant talk about their feeling God’s nearness and feeling His Love that I think it has to happen to me? Contemporary Christian Music has a lot of that in it but I find that helps to sometimes keep my mind sane. I’ll stop rambling now…
 
@(name removed by moderator) That’s awesome 🙂
There are times where I think I can feel a glimmer of that and it’s warming and calming…
 
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If I may suggest something. You are a teen (I believe from your post). You are at that point in your life and your faith where many questions, doubts, and impressions arise, many at cross purposes. One suggestion is remain faithful but don’t come down too hard on yourself. I doubt there is a person on this forum, Catholic or not, who can’t empathize with the fact that you are going through a difficult, exhilarating, and problematic time in your life.
Another suggestion is to continue praying, but also start to live or “do” your faith. Put some effort into helping others; volunteer at a St. Vincent de Paul facility, join the Squires of the Knights of Columbus, find a teen group that does more than just talk, but tries to live out your faith. Sometimes you just might find that living your Catholic faith, leaves little or less room for doubt and “intrusive” thoughts.
Shalom and good luck.
 
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@joeybaggz
Thank you!!! I definitley do need to try out the youth group at our new-ish parish. I think it’d be good to be around other Catholic Youth who hopefully care about their Faith!
 
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Sometimes I feel very Spirit-moved, other times o feel absolutely nothing.

Mostly it’s somewhere in between
 
Footprints said:
@joeybaggz
Thank you!!! I definitley do need to try out the youth group at our new-ish parish. I think it’d be good to be around other Catholic Youth who hopefully care about their Faith!
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Good, I hope you find “work” in the fields that is edifying. There are so many Catholic organizations to “join” that give you an outlet for any desire to “serve” the Lord by serving others.
Oh and I’m a senior citizen, and I still have to deal with “intrusive” thoughts. That’s never going to change. It’s just as you hold firm to your faith, grow in it, that dealing with thoughts such as these becomes much easier.
Stay the course! God Bless.
 
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Nothing, I guess. I have little emotional connection (or at least only most of the time) and I guess it’s tiring to constantly avoid sin.
 
Don’t try to avoid sin, then. Try to live virtuously instead. We don’t play not to lose, we play to win.

-Fr ACEGC
 
When I first returned to the Faith, I too wanted everything all at once. I felt like I should be at a college level when I was just starting out.

And now, almost 25 years later, I still feel like a beginner. But I can now understand certain things that I couldn’t understand before because I didn’t have the background knowledge necessary to understand back then.

TBH, I focused too much on trying to do things right and not enough on increasing a relationship with God. First, I was not relying on God to help me be good, concentrating more on myself-being-good than on God. So my advice would be not to focus too much on making yourself be good. Look at God, practice Catholic meditation, and goodness will follow in proportion. Meditating on Christ’s words to His Father, Father, forgive them for they know not what they do, helps me be more forgiving, for example.

Welcome to CAF 🙂
 
In this day and age, people are putting a great deal of emphasis on feelings. I think you may be happier concentrating on duty. Think of people like the Queen of England. There have probably been many days when she didn’t feel up to something. But she has an enormous sense of duty. At the end of a long day, she can take a lot of pride in all she has done.

As a middle-aged person, I serve and obey God out of a sense of duty. I don’t think much about how I feel about God or about the Eucharist. I’m happy receiving it.

It’s kind of like when a mother asks a teenager, “How was supper?” and they respond, “It was okay.” To the mother, that doesn’t begin to show enough appreciation for the effort that went into preparing the meal. But the teenager is about as grateful as s/he can be without being a mother who cooks. Teenagers just don’t understand all that goes into preparing daily supper.

Likewise, we can appreciate the Eucharist, but not really know fully what it really means, and how much Jesus sacrificed for us. And we may not always have a strong feeling around it.
 
I am also a highschooler still sinning but trying just like you - in fact I admire your dedication, I don’t think I’m nearly as strong-willed as you in your dedication to prayer. I have experienced a kind of spiritual ‘feeling’ of God’s love - at mass, in personal prayer - but most of my ordinary life I do not. One lesson I’ve learnt is that its important to realize that if all of this is true, then it really doesn’t matter how we feel. Feelings are important and God may use them to communicate to us - or He might not. Sometimes I do feel distracted or bored in Mass, as much as I wish I didn’t, but the reality is when I receive the Eucharist it is the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus regardless of how I feel, and I receive no more or no less grace whether I am emotional or not. If we come to God honestly, in thanks and asking for His mercy, He will not ignore us. You might want to read about the life of St. Teresa of Calcutta. To the best of my knowledge she lived for decades in a period of "spiritual darkness’ where she struggled to feel God’s presence, yet she continued to pray and dedicate her life to Him - and now we recognize that she did receive eternal life with Him. You sound like you are really honestly trying and God knows that.
I pray that you might have the kind of spiritual encounter with God that you’re wanting - it is truly beautiful how the Holy Spirit can move within us in this way - but remember that God does not love you any less! God is pouring out on you the same love and grace, and the way He sees you and loves you cannot change, regardless of how you or anyone else feels about it.

TLDR: How we feel does not matter - God’s love for us cannot change. If we come to Him in faith and trust, asking for His mercy, he will never turn us away, and though a ‘feeling’ of His presence and grace is wonderful, it is not necessarily an indication of Holiness. We are Catholic because we believe in Christ and His Church - regardless of how we feel.
 
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Faith based on emotions isnt great deal. Of course it is greater to believe and get extra confidence by feeling God’s love. But when you get to the “dark night of the soul” which I of course dont know if you will experience but you will probably feel nothing. Read St. Faustina Diary about it. Or Mother Therese of Calcuta.

Faith is an act of will I think. You decide to believe and you stick with it. You cant be forced. Also relying on emotions isnt good. This is like men-women relationships. If you rely on emotions, it wont last long. Maybe to first upcoming crisis.

If you decide to believe, you know that God is with you and you serve him. You serve him no matter what. Its not about feeling comfy. I mean i that way that you, as an catholic, will encounter really bad accidents, temptations, trials. And knowing that you serve God, taking Communion and confessing before if needed are some things that help you. It is difficult to stick with faith during crisis. But knowing that Jesus wont leave you, no matter what you feel is a key to maintain your faith
 
Thank you all for your replies! They’ve really helped me to understand this all better! 🙂
 
Footprints said:
As a high schooler who as rather recently (February) started actually caring about their faith and the state of their soul, I’m struggling. I feel like every time I’m trying to do something right, I mess up or I find out something that I didn’t know before that worries me. I sort of still have scruples although I think it’s gotten better which is awesome. But, intrusive thoughts have replaced it.
I ask for saint’s intercessions, ask the Holy Spirit for guidance, I thank Jesus (I find myself speaking to Him more than God the Father) and ask for forgiveness and help, I pray for souls in Purgatory, and I always ask for Mary’s prayers every night and I’m trying to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy either at 3pm if I have time or remember or stop being lazy (trying to work on that) or at night. Besides the intrusive thoughts bothering me during those times, I also just feel like I’m saying the words sometimes with no feeling for what I’m praying.
I try and put in feeling, sometimes I’m praying because I’m so frustrated and really need help but I don’t think I see progress.
At Mass, I try very hard to focus, to ask for mercy, to praise God, to ask for His help in my upcoming week, and to keep my mind off of those intrusive thoughts. I KNOW that Jesus is there, Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity in the Eucharist but I feel nothing. If anything, I feel fear for the fact that I wonder if I’m supposed to feel something deep down inside me and if I don’t, then I must not believe and I must be on the wrong track.
I read about saints who knew Christ and Mary and other saints because of voices, or visions and if they didn’t have those, somehow they all believed. They had true, deep, belief and I want that so badly but I just don’t know if I have it yet. Or how I’m supposed to know if I do. I really want to be aware of God in my life and in the Church and Mass. I want that and yet somehow I don’t know if there’s some other level that I need to feel that want on?
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Dude! Awesome to hear your desire to do what’s right! Praying for you! So, what worked for me when I was a teen was hanging out with like-minded friends. Nothing will pull you away from the direction you want to go that those running in a different direction! Right?
 
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How one feels with regard to their faith or their interior life is irrelevant. Feelings or consolations are not the principle of judgment on whether something (prayer, work etc.) is good or not.
 
No, but to avoid sin will naturally follow from seeking virtue. And if we make it solely about avoiding sin, we may become overburdened by this endeavor, since we’ll soon only be able to see sin. It becomes a more hopeless task.
 
Peace and Joy. ‘The more recollected a man is, and the more simple of heart he becomes, the easier he
understands sublime things, for he receives the light of knowledge from above. The pure, simple,
and steadfast spirit is not distracted by many labors, for he does them all for the honor of God. And
since he enjoys interior peace he seeks no selfish end in anything. What, indeed, gives more trouble
and affliction than uncontrolled desires of the heart?.’ - The Imitation of Christ
 
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