How do you forgive the unrepentant?

[DarkLight]

How do you forgive someone who did true, deep damage to your life, who so far as you know has neither suffered any consequences for their actions nor any sign of comprehending that what they did is wrong? People who act in truly criminal ways and then simply walk off behaving as though they were perfectly justified in their actions?

 

[styrgwillidar]

Well, from a spiritual perspective by realizing if I expect God to forgive me, I need to forgive others. Christ actually told a few parables to that affect- as well as stating it explicitly. Also, that every time I pray the ‘Our Father’ I specifically make that request-- ’ forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us’. I am literally asking Him to use my willingness/acts of forgiveness towards others as the yardstick for Him forgiving me. By realizing that I have offended God every bit as much, and with far less right, than the person who has offended me. I owe God everything, this person’s debt/responsibility to me is far less.

Also by trying to realize that this person is a child of God first and foremost. While I am with that person temporarily on earth, Christ really does want us all to choose Him and be united with Him. I pray for their salvation and reconciliation with God, their salvation does not come at my expense and I truly believe Christ wants that reconciliation. Their pain or damnation wouldn’t improve my lot in this life or the next.

Now, I also found that if I could not forgive, I could not move on. I was living in and dwelling on the past, hoping this person would come to the realization that they had done wrong, repenting, asking for forgiveness. The problem with that is I had no control over it, they had all the control. Not only had they hurt me in the past, but by holding on to it I was allowing them to control the present. Awaiting their actions which may never come. I could only free myself by forgiving them, not wishing them well necessarily (in this life) but not wishing them evil either. If I dwelled on the unfairness of them apparently suffering no ill effects of their actions, again, I was allowing things outside my control to affect my life. Only by truly letting go could I focus on my own life free of the affects of them. I still have to deal with the consequences of their decisions in some ways, we had three kids together and she’ll always be in my kids lives- ergo- she’ll be around in some way. But the choices I make in my life are not contingent on waiting for her to come to some kind of epiphany about what she’s done to myself, or more importantly her children.

It took me awhile to get there, not all at once. Keep in mind that Christ forgave those who were crucifying Him while they were carrying it out.

 

[DarkLight]

The difficulty for me…I asked God’s forgiveness, at least. Perhaps it was all I could do, but there was that. I don’t want their pain or damnation. What I want is my reputation unstained by their acts. What I want most of all is for them to see, to see what they did wrong, their wrong and not mine. Whatever my sins, I’m tired of being responsible for theirs on top of it. And yet it seems every earthly consequence attaches to me - I’m the one who bore the bad labels, I’m the one who was branded a great sinner for what I had no hand in and thrown out of my own church. I’m the one who to this day bears health problems, who feels day in and day out like a shadow of my former self unable to ever do the things I enjoy, and yet when I don’t do well enough due to problems outside my control I’m the one who is blamed for that too.

It feels like being forced to carry someone else’s sins through your life, with no possible good ever coming of it. The sin may hurt you but it will never lead to the repentance of the other person. It will hurt you no end though, it will force you to be perpetually useless, branded ineffective and ignored whenever you try to talk about God because people see it on you, doing nothing but ever preventing you from doing anything good while allowing someone else to do whatever evil they wish and be treated like a saint for it.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

Wonderful reply!! Thank you

Well, from a spiritual perspective by realizing if I expect God to forgive me, I need to forgive others. Christ actually told a few parables to that affect- as well as stating it explicitly. Also, that every time I pray the ‘Our Father’ I specifically make that request-- ’ forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us’. I am literally asking Him to use my willingness/acts of forgiveness towards others as the yardstick for Him forgiving me. By realizing that I have offended God every bit as much, and with far less right, than the person who has offended me. I owe God everything, this person’s debt/responsibility to me is far less.

Also by trying to realize that this person is a child of God first and foremost. While I am with that person temporarily on earth, Christ really does want us all to choose Him and be united with Him. I pray for their salvation and reconciliation with God, their salvation does not come at my expense and I truly believe Christ wants that reconciliation. Their pain or damnation wouldn’t improve my lot in this life or the next.

Now, I also found that if I could not forgive, I could not move on. I was living in and dwelling on the past, hoping this person would come to the realization that they had done wrong, repenting, asking for forgiveness. The problem with that is I had no control over it, they had all the control. Not only had they hurt me in the past, but by holding on to it I was allowing them to control the present. Awaiting their actions which may never come. I could only free myself by forgiving them, not wishing them well necessarily (in this life) but not wishing them evil either. If I dwelled on the unfairness of them apparently suffering no ill effects of their actions, again, I was allowing things outside my control to affect my life. Only by truly letting go could I focus on my own life free of the affects of them. I still have to deal with the consequences of their decisions in some ways, we had three kids together and she’ll always be in my kids lives- ergo- she’ll be around in some way. But the choices I make in my life are not contingent on waiting for her to come to some kind of epiphany about what she’s done to myself, or more importantly her children.

It took me awhile to get there, not all at once. Keep in mind that Christ forgave those who were crucifying Him while they were carrying it out.

 

[DarkLight]

The truth of the matter is such other people do still have control, in a sense, because no amount of forgiveness or will can get rid of ruined health or give back years wasted or restore the damage to family and reputation that they caused. No amount of forgiveness will change the fact that they ruined the chance for you to ever do anything truly good because you will have to spend all your energy just caring for yourself. No amount will compensate for knowing your life is likely shattered in ways you can never undo, that you will never be able to so much as pray without inviting the nightmares back into your life.

How can you forgive that when they walk on saying they did right and good, saying that you were the one who sinned, using you as proof of the evil and corruptness of whatever goods you might try to do? They will rule your life no matter what you do, because you can never gain back anything close to what they took.

 

[DarkLight]

The question is quite literally “how” here. How do you forgive when you look at an empty bank account and know there were people who put you there? How do you forgive when you have to go to the doctor and remember that these hated visits would not happen if someone else hadn’t acted? How do you forgive when the very act of trying to put your life back together strains you with the memories of how it was shattered in the first place, when it’s been years and you’re still only a tiny fraction of what you were? How do you forgive when even your prayers are poisoned memories of crying to God for it to end, of screaming from the pain of what they told you were your sins and yet you had no power? I to this day cannot read the Bible on my own, the memories are too poisoned and whatever benefit I might get is overwhelmed by the anger and fear and false guilt that I see echoed in every passage.

 

[simple_soul]

The question is quite literally “how” here. How do you forgive when you look at an empty bank account and know there were people who put you there? How do you forgive when you have to go to the doctor and remember that these hated visits would not happen if someone else hadn’t acted? How do you forgive when the very act of trying to put your life back together strains you with the memories of how it was shattered in the first place, when it’s been years and you’re still only a tiny fraction of what you were? How do you forgive when even your prayers are poisoned memories of crying to God for it to end, of screaming from the pain of what they told you were your sins and yet you had no power? I to this day cannot read the Bible on my own, the memories are too poisoned and whatever benefit I might get is overwhelmed by the anger and fear and false guilt that I see echoed in every passage.

Oh Darklight…how my heart aches for you and the pain you are in… :console:

How do you know you have not already forgiven them?

 

[josh987654321]

How do you forgive someone

I hope you don’t mind if I share with you some of what I’ve learnt about forgiveness.

I believe a wise man once said “Hating someone is like drinking a poison and expecting the other person to die.” And here is why -

I believe that If you feel hatred, anger or resentment, than you own those feelings; and that is why there only is one thing worse than being hurt by someone and that is keeping that hurt alive. You have the ability to forgive those people who have mistreated you, not as a gift to them, but as a gift to yourself. Forgiveness will set you free from the pain others have caused you in your life. forgiveness will free you from the hatred anger and resentment that you choose to carry. I believe it is a choice to carry those feelings, something which I believe is unhealthy and harmful to you, as those feelings change who you are. Your hatred, anger, and resentment are absolutely incompatible with your peace, joy, and relaxation.

I believe to assume that you can turn your feelings of hate, anger and resentment on and off like a light switch is naïve, these feelings of bitterness and anger are such powerful influences that once they enter your heart, they are present in all of your relationships. They truly do make you become a different person. Who you were goes away, and now you are defined by the hatred and bitterness. Ultimately, I believe what makes these emotions so powerful is that they change who you are.

I believe There is something else you must consider: you cannot give away what you do not have.

You cannot give pure and accepting love from a pure and accepting heart if you have neither. That would mean giving away what you do not have. If the love in your heart is contaminated, if growing within it is the cancer of hatred, anger, and resentment, then that is the only love that you have to give. If your heart has turned cold and hard because of hatred, anger, and resentment, then that is the heart from which all your emotions spring. That is the love and that is the heart that you have to offer your loved ones and fellow human beings. Hatred, anger, and resentment truly change who you are. They truly prevent you from being able to give to those you love that which you want them to have.

Many people say: *“I can’t forgive because they aren’t sorry and they don’t deserve or even want my forgiveness.” *If that’s the standard, there are many people in this world who, clearly, will never be entitled to forgiveness, however you do not realise that forgiveness is all about you, it’s all about the gift of freeing yourself from the hatred, anger and resentment.

It’s about you saying *"I will not bond with you through hatred, anger, or resentment. I will not bond with you through fear. I will not allow you to drag me into your dark world. By forgiving you, I am releasing me, not you. You must live with yourself every day. You must live with the darkness in your heart. But I do not, and I will not, You are the one who commited the crime, I don’t have to continue to suffer for it and I refuse to, by forgiving you I am releasing myself from that emotional prison you have locked me in, you cannot misstreat me and than continue hurting me through those feelings of hatred, anger and resentment I carry toward you, I make that choice, not you.” *

Take the power back from those who have hurt you, they don’t have the right to hurt you and than continue hurting you through those emotions of hatred, anger and resentment that you carry toward them.

The Choice is, and always has been, all yours. The power of forgiveness is the power to set yourself free from the bonds of hatred, anger, and resentment. Seize the power and rise above the pain. You are worth it, and everyone you love deserves it.

Please continue to next post -

 

[josh987654321]

Matthew 6:19-21
19 Don’t store up treasures on earth! Moths and rust can destroy them, and thieves can break in and steal them. 20 Instead, store up your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy them, and thieves cannot break in and steal them. 21 Your heart will always be where your treasure is.

Christ told us that our hearts are always where our treasure is. It’s a treasure that does not rust and cannot be stolen! It can only be thrown away, and we choose to throw it away when we harbor those ugly emotions of hatred anger, or resentment toward someone who has mistreated us, take the power back from those who have hurt you! take your treasure back! Forgiveness is a gift! reclaim your heart!

“Do not be conqured by evil, but conquer evil with good.” - Romans 12:21

I believe there is nothing to be gained by harboring emotions of hatred, anger and resentment toward someone … nothing but more pain and heartache on yourself.

Now when you think of the wrong doing, instead of emotions such as hatred, anger or resentment, these will instead be emotions of pity.

Pity means feeling for others, particularly feelings of sadness or sorrow towards someone, this I believe is what replaces those ugly emotions of hatred, anger and resentment towards someone, this is what forgiveness does, I believe you cannot become indifferent about such mistreatment, but you can remove those ugly emotions through forgiveness, forgiveness replaces those ugly emotions with pity.

I would also like to say that I believe forgiveness doesn’t mean being naive or putting yourself in vulnerable situations, as it says in the gospels “don’t give to dogs what belongs to God as they will only turn and attack you.” Matthew 7:6 and *“I am sending you like lambs into a pack of wolves. So be as wise as snakes and as innocent as doves. 17 Watch out for people who will take you to court and have you beaten in their meeting places.” *Matthew 10:16-17

I would also like to share with you a list of quotes on forgiveness that I believe are very good.

“Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.” - Ben Franklin

“Do not commit the crime for which you now serve the sentence, God said, vengeance is mine."

Forgiveness is a choice. Don’t wait for it to just wash over you all of a sudden. You have to choose it. - Dr Phil

Don’t give your power away. The pain of what happened is inevitable, but continuing to suffer is optional. The only person you can control is you. By constantly re-living the pain of what happened, you are giving your power away to the person who wronged you. - Dr Phil

Don’t cling to negative feelings. Anger is nothing more than an outward sign of hurt, fear, guilt, grief or frustration. While the pain may never completely disappear, forgiveness can help you release the anger and bring those in your life closer to you. - Dr Phil

There is no right timeline for recovery. For some people, making peace happens suddenly and spontaneously. For others, it takes time and effort. You may have to make a conscious choice every day to forgive. To say, “I’m letting this go. I’m not going to invest hatred, bitterness, anger, resentment in this person anymore.” You can find closure in forgiveness. - Dr Phil

You can’t change the things that happened in your life, but you can decide how you interpret and respond to them. If you didn’t receive support when you needed it, give it to yourself now. - Dr Phil

The stronger the emotions of hatred, anger or resentment, the greater the gifts that you will recieve when you let them go.

Please continue to next post -

 

[josh987654321]

Jesus to Catalina:

The Great Crusade of Mercy - loveandmercy.org/Eng-CM-Reg.pdf

**I want to talk to you about My Mercy; I want to teach you Mercy; I want you to preach My Mercy. But in order to speak of it, you need to feel love because a person who does not love, cannot know Mercy.

1. If you love, it is because I loved you first; just as I am Love. Whoever knows how to love remains in Me and I in him. My Father did not send Me as an offering for you to love Me, but because My Father is Love and I am one with My Father. Therefore, understand that nothing is sweeter than love, for it proceeds from the One who is the Creator of everything.
2. And so, if you want to be merciful to your fellow human being, first you have to love and be compassionate to that person and if you want to receive Mercy, you must let yourself be loved. Mercy is the chain that unites with love, for one cannot love without being merciful. Understand that My love is without measure, it does not feel burdensome, nor does it value effort, it is simply given. You, on the other hand, are weak in love and imperfect in virtue; you are in need of My strength and of My comfort.**

Jesus to Catalina:

The Great Crusade of Mercy - loveandmercy.org/Eng-CM-Reg.pdf

11) Mercy is love, My child. It is union with God and union with God is the certitude of victory and an everlasting abundance of virtues. Mercy is the unquestionable proof of love for Me.

Sacred Heart of Jesus Image - (St Margaret-Mary Alacoque)

http://s7.postimg.org/4jx43bm1n/Christ_7.jpg

Jesus to St Margaret-Mary Alacoque -

**"Behold this Heart which has loved men so much that it has spared nothing, even to exhausting **(Crucifixion) and consuming itself (Last Supper, Eucharist) in order to testify to them it’s love."

Luke 23:33-34
33 When the soldiers came to the place called “The Skull,” they nailed Jesus to a cross. They also nailed the two criminals to crosses, one on each side of Jesus. 34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive these people! They don’t know what they’re doing.”

http://s24.postimg.org/s91lh9u91/Crucifixion.jpg
Jesus to Catalina:

The Passion - loveandmercy.org/Eng-TP-Reg.pdf

**Contemplate My wounds and see if there is anyone who has suffered as much as I, to show their love…

Contemplate for a moment these bloodstained hands and feet… This naked body, covered with wounds, with urine, and blood. Dirty… This head punctured by sharp thorns, soaked in sweat, full of dust, and covered in Blood…

Contemplate your Jesus, hanging on the Cross, without being able to make the slightest movement… naked, without fame, without honor, without liberty…

Contemplate Me in the image of the Christ that weeps and bleeds. There and in this way the world has Me.**

Jesus to Catalina:

From Sinai to Calvary - loveandmercy.org/Eng-FSC-Reg.pdf

**Observe these two condemned ones who flank Me and meditate on the ways that men carry their crosses. 8) “Some carry it with rage, with bitterness, amidst much grief. He who carries a cross in similar circumstances and with those sentiments, carries for sure a cross, which has no sense because instead of drawing him closer, it pushes him away from Me. Usually that is the cross of those who refuse to understand the meaning of suffering, which takes on supernatural dimensions. That is the cross of the thief at My left, it is the cross which will always be heavy and will never be able to redeem.

1. “Dismas, on My right, accepts his cross with resignation and even with dignity; he assumes it at first because he has no other recourse. But suddenly, when he recognizes Me and knows that I Am the Son of God, he accepts that cross, acknowledging himself as a sinner, and asking that through it, Mercy remembers him. 10) “Finally, you have Me here in front of you, embracing My redeeming Cross to teach all of you to carry yours. I invite you to be co-redeemers with Me, making reparation for your own sins and those of all mankind. Know that this way of carrying the cross is reflected in your conduct, when before you are difficulties and pains and through them you draw closer to Me and you profit from them to give testimony before men. When you embrace your cross, you can feel that the only thing you desire is strength, because the thirst for souls consumes you."**

It was the way Dismas carried his cross (the good theif) that warrented the reply from our Lord, “I promise that today you will be with me in paradise.” Luke 23:43
Jesus to Catalina:

From Sinai to Calvary - loveandmercy.org/Eng-FSC-Reg.pdf

4) "…In this profound pain which causes My sight to grow darker to the point that I can no longer see clearly those beings which I love and who remain at the foot of My agony, I know that Love has conquered, that it will conquer forever.

Jesus to Catalina:

The Great Crusade of Salvation - loveandmercy.org/Eng-CS-Reg.pdf

4) When the cross of suffering weighs heavy on you, remember that you are but pilgrims on this earth. Beyond the tomb, lies a wonderfully, more beautiful world, which God has prepared for His faithful children.

I hope this has helped you.

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[DarkLight]

It’s not even about thinking things like they don’t deserve forgiveness. It’s that I literally don’t know where I would start. The only “forgiveness” I really understand is trying to come to some understanding of why they did what they did, some point of humanization in the deed. Or some subsequent good, some sign that they understand and regret what they did was wrong. Absent either of those I’m simply lost - I don’t know what forgiveness is supposed to mean, there’s nothing to latch on to.

It’s a question simply of what forgiveness looks like then. It is not lessening what they did, though I have seen many people present that as forgiveness. It is not accepting an apology or working to fix anything because there is none of that. It is not even forgoing an harm come to them, because whatever selfishness there might be in wanting someone to see the wrong the did it’s no true hurt to them to acknowledge their sins.

And that’s the thing - I don’t really want the other people to suffer. But I want to not suffer for them. I don’t want to keep living with shattered health and ruined relationships and blame for what I didn’t do, and I don’t much care if it attaches to them or not instead. I want to be able to spend time serving God and helping others and achieving things instead of having all my attention forcibly on myself because that’s what it takes to live my life.

 

[Rob_Arnzen]

How do you forgive someone who did true, deep damage to your life, who so far as you know has neither suffered any consequences for their actions nor any sign of comprehending that what they did is wrong? People who act in truly criminal ways and then simply walk off behaving as though they were perfectly justified in their actions?

You don’t.

Jesus, who was a good observant Jew, never forgave anyone who did not:

• acknowledge sin
• seek forgiveness

and when He forgave them, He admonished them to sin no more.

There were two apparent exceptions: He told the “good thief” that he would be with him in Paradise; he asked forgiveness for the Jews who executed him.

The good thief acknowledged his sin, accepted his punishment, and therefore expiated his punishment in this life for the next life. That is why we should accept just punishments. As a Jew Jesus knew that the good thief had accepted he was paying the price for his sin.

The other exception dealt with the problem of culpability. God is infinitely just and therefore does not punish the ignorant, the impaired, the compelled. In God’s court ignorance IS an excuse.

The solutions to situations like you describe are twofold: you have to ask God to let go of the desire for revenge, the anger, and the hatred. It’s his job to sort this out, and He has a tendency to do it in ways that don’t give us the pleasure of watching the deserving get their comeuppance, particularly when He settles things in the next life.

The second is to consider Matthew 18:15-17. If the individual cannot come to grips with his or her wrongdoing, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

So, let go and let God.

.

 

[DarkLight]

You can say all you like about suffering and whatnot - but when’s the last time we had a saint who spent all their time either working dead-end jobs or in bed trying desperately to eat and sleep enough to work a bit more so they could continue eating?

 

[DarkLight]

The other exception dealt with the problem of culpability. God is infinitely just and therefore does not punish the ignorant, the impaired, the compelled. In God’s court ignorance IS an excuse.

I should be clear I’m talking about what’s essentially willful or crass ignorance. Someone who’s so wrapped up in themselves that they feel they have a right to behave in certain ways, or are thinking of their own desires to the point they don’t even regard who might be hurt. Such ignorance is if anything increases the guilt someone bears for the act, because their ignorance stems from their own selfishness.

 

[josh987654321]

It’s not even about thinking things like they don’t deserve forgiveness. It’s that I literally don’t know where I would start. The only “forgiveness” I really understand is trying to come to some understanding of why they did what they did, some point of humanization in the deed. Or some subsequent good, some sign that they understand and regret what they did was wrong. Absent either of those I’m simply lost - I don’t know what forgiveness is supposed to mean, there’s nothing to latch on to.

That’s just the thing, there is something to latch onto, something far greater than anything else … God.
"Jesus to Catalina:

The Great Crusade of Mercy - loveandmercy.org/Eng-CM-Reg.pdf

11) Mercy is love, My child. It is union with God and union with God is the certitude of victory and an everlasting abundance of virtues. Mercy is the unquestionable proof of love for Me.

God sees your Mercy toward others, as the greatest proof of your love toward Him. So when you forgive, don’t focus so much on the forgiveness toward the one(s) who have mistreated you, but rather, on the proof of love you want to show toward God, toward Christ Jesus who suffered unto death to prove His love for you.

Jesus to St. Faustina -

"Be always merciful as I am merciful. Love everyone out of love for Me, even your greatest enemies, so that My mercy may be fully reflected in your heart." (Diary - 1695).

It’s a question simply of what forgiveness looks like then. It is not lessening what they did, though I have seen many people present that as forgiveness. It is not accepting an apology or working to fix anything because there is none of that. It is not even forgoing an harm come to them, because whatever selfishness there might be in wanting someone to see the wrong they did it’s no true hurt to them to acknowledge their sins.

… but forgiveness isn’t about them. It’s about you first and foremost. The forgiven only reap the graces if they are open to it (repentant) while the forgiver always recieves their graces.

I believe If they are repentant, than the peace forgiveness brings you will also flow into their hearts and benefit them greatly, but if they are not repentant, than that peace will remain in your heart and also benefit you greatly.

And that’s the thing - I don’t really want the other people to suffer. But I want to not suffer for them. I don’t want to keep living with shattered health and ruined relationships and blame for what I didn’t do, and I don’t much care if it attaches to them or not instead. I want to be able to spend time serving God and helping others and achieving things instead of having all my attention forcibly on myself because that’s what it takes to live my life.

I am not sure I understand this bit, do you mind if I ask for some more information about your situation?

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[ClearWater]

One time, someone did me some tremendous damage to a point I literally dreamt of vengeance. Then, while I was watching a movie with the crucifixion, I saw how if God could suffer like that for me, and others, who were guilty, then I could forgive everyone, since I was hardly innocent, myself.

So, I just forgave people when I thought of it in that context.

Now, this doesn’t mean you let criminals out of prison or that you need to hang out with them. It means you work on letting go, forgiving.

There are different ways to try to make it easier, to try to put oneself in their shoes, understand why they did what they did is one way.

Another way is to imagine that you have the power to punish them. Some have suggested imagining them receiving this punishment and then it being over, that they have paid the debt.

Counseling can help, I think, to help vent and get it out of one’s system, providing it is with the intent of forgiveness, ultimately, not just keeping it going.

One can pray for the person in question, do good things for him/her.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

OP, you need to talk to a priest for counsel on how to deal with this.

 

[DarkLight]

OP, you need to talk to a priest for counsel on how to deal with this.

I’m really not here and not going to be here long enough to be ok with doing that.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

I’m really not here and not going to be here long enough to be ok with doing that.

That’s a shame, since it’s my advice as well. Even talking to a priest one time can be enough. It was for me.

 

[Rob_Arnzen]

I should be clear I’m talking about what’s essentially willful or crass ignorance. Someone who’s so wrapped up in themselves that they feel they have a right to behave in certain ways, or are thinking of their own desires to the point they don’t even regard who might be hurt.

Been there, done that, bear the scars.

It sounds like you’ve had an encounter with a classic narcissistic personality disorder:

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

If you’re waiting for the light to come on for him or her, good luck.

My encounter with one derailed my then promising career, cost me around $500k, led to a heart attack, and it took me 27 years to pay off the debts.

And the response from the perpetrator? “Only God can judge me. My conscience is clear.”

Believe me I appreciate the feeling that a sharp knife and an operating table with no anesthetic would be an appropriate solution to discharging the anger.

I have no idea why God permits evil, even less why it happened to land on me. That’s over my pay grade.

I do know that where I go from there is my choice, and spending it fixating on the apparently conscienceless individual who chose me to victimize is not a good use of what time and gifts God gave me.

This process doesn’t happen in a prayer session. It took me years and is still ongoing. But it does ebb as you give it to God knowing that his justice is perfect.

.