How do you make a ex-girlfriend go away?

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Penny Plain:
TELL YOUR WIFE. Tonight.

Tell the loony woman that she needs to stop and that you’re not going to respond any further. Don’t respond to anything further. If she visits you or drops in at weird hours, then get a lawyer and a restraining order. Never speak or respond to her again. Stop thinking about her.

Nobody needs this.
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Excellent advice. Also, at least in my state, a lawyer is not necessary to get a restraining order.
 
Another multi-reply.

Re: Telling her husband: Like I said before… I wouldn’t know where to begin, even if I wanted to. They live 4 states away, and she moved after she got married, so i have no idea where they live.

Re: Her showing up: Isn’t going to happen. She lives 4 states away, and all she knows is that I live somewhere in upstate New York. My phone is unlisted. The only time I called her since moving here I used a pay phone so the caller ID wouldn’t give me away. She won’t find me.

Re: Telling my wife: Soooooo isn’t going to happen. I appreciate all your comments to this effect, but due to reasons I haven’t disclosed, this is totally out of the question.

Re: Legal Actions: I’m against this for 2 reasons. (1) is that it would necessitate telling my wife (see above), and (2) is that it would be esculating the situation.

Re: Bunnicula/Fatal Attraction: Yes, Fatal Attraction is the movie I was thinking of.

Re: Not opening e-mail from strangers: I’m a trained professional. Don’t try this at home.

Re: Fake Bounce: A great idea! I’ll try that next, if need be!

Re: Dumping my e-mail address: I’m still avoiding that. I refuse to be chased off. If the fake bounce (see above) doesn’t do the trick, I will, grudgingly, close it.

Overall: So far there hasn’t been a follow up, so right now it’s pretty much a non-issue. It’s been almost a week since her last e-mail that I deleted without replying. If she keeps to her schedule, I won’t have to worry about it again until mid-December. Hopefully, though, it won’t even be an issue then.

Again, thank you everyone for your kind suggestions and help.
 
my fiance and i went through the same thing his exGF wouldnt leave him alone either, and it only got worse after we got engaged. i finally talked with her woman to woman calmly and politley and just told her that we were changing the cell phone numbers and our email addresses and if she continued to follow him around that stalking was illegal in Texas that my brother was an attorney and we would have no problems pressing charges. havent had a problem since. by the way depending on where you are from some states have covered internet harrasment, something to look into if this continues.
 
Mozilla Thunderbird mail (you should be using Mozilla Firefox anyway, but that’s a different post) has a “junk” option. You keep your email addy, but you never have to see anything she sends you. You will have to empty the trash once in a while, but it takes a lot of headaches off you.

Here’s the link. Since having Mozilla, I have so much less spyware, too. 👍
 
i’m really sorry that you are having this kind of problems. It must be really frustating, annoying, irritating and infuriating(sp?). Obviously, this woman just wants to make you mad and find a kick at what she is doing. which is pretty sad. i pity the lady. the only practical solution i can think of is pressing the delete button without reading it.
 
stalker = bully.

the way to deal with bullies is simply to stand up to them. tell this ex to get the (insert explicative) out of your life. say it firm, say it mean, say it loud. leave no question as to your intent.
to a bully NICE = WEAKNESS

my ex was stalked by an ex for 3 years before i met her, one night he came over to her house while i was dating her for only about a month at that point, we were watching a movie and i answered the door (and i knew the situation she was having with him) he tried to force his way past me saying he needed to talk to her ‘just for a minute’ - all it took to end 3 years of stalking was one well placed fist (mine) into his face. i didn’t warn, i didn’t talk, i just hit him. hard…
he never stalked her again.

it stinks to have to do that, but sometimes with a bully its what needs to be done.
(i don’t recommend hitting a female ex, though - verb)
 
the problem i have with a lot of this advice being given is that it’s very REACTIVE to her actions.

to solve problems like this, just like in boxing, you can’t make an offensive move if you’re on your heels all the time., you have to ACT and make her REACT.

she loves the attention and the control she has over you. by getting you in a tussle, she is controlling, albeit in a bad way, your actions.
but remember
bullying = bullying
stalking = criminal bullying

you could solve this easily if you
a.) stop responding to her emails.
b.) if she contacts you, sound mad (you are) and tell her to take her crazy, psycho stalking somewhere else because you just don’t care about her. (personally, i’d even throw in something top the effect about never loving her even during the whole time you were dating her - just to make her cry - of course, thats the mean part of me coming out.)
 
Detroit Sue:
Mozilla Thunderbird mail (you should be using Mozilla Firefox anyway, but that’s a different post) has a “junk” option. You keep your email addy, but you never have to see anything she sends you. You will have to empty the trash once in a while, but it takes a lot of headaches off you.
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*Warning! The following post has a high “geek” factor. If you react poorly to “geek speak” please skip this post! 😃
*
LOL! Was this a paid advertisement? :rotfl:

At the risk of hijacking my own thread, I do use Firefox (tabbed browsing and pop-up blocking!). My main mail client is Novell (Ximian) Evolution on the Linux box and mail.app on the Mac boxes. Though this is irrelevant because it’s my Yahoo address that she (ab)uses.

The main failing of this approach is that she constantly makes new Yahoo/Hotmail e-mail addresses to get around my blocks. I think the solution is truly just to “manually” ignore.

Though I did (finally) get a Google gmail invite yesterday. Maybe it will be easier to give up my Yahoo addy after all!
 
I can’t help but notice that the posters here seem more concerned about this than you. You seem to be dancing around the easy solutions.

If you’re wife was recieveing emails from an old flame, what advice would you give her? I’d bet it would be firm, resolute, conclusive, , decisive, definite, precise, sure, unambiguous, undeniable, unequivocal, unmitigated, unquestionable

Do it for your wife! End it.
 
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tTt:
I can’t help but notice that the posters here seem more concerned about this than you. You seem to be dancing around the easy solutions.
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The only easy effective solution so far seems to be closing my Yahoo address. Other than that, it’s ignoring, which is what i’m doing.
 
Timidity - as your name implies, you need to get some guts. Your timidity has you ruling out telling your wife, and using a restraining order.

No guts? Sorry, no can help.

Come back with a spine and we’ll fix your problem pronto.
 
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