How DO you meet men, anyway?

[BostonMyrtleBea]

Wish I had an answer for you, OP My good friend (one of my college roomies) is 35. She has been looking for years. She’s tried the bars, joined groups, is very active in her parish, tried all the singles things, and even the catholic singles sites (Ave Maria (who only had a whopping 40 in the entire state), catholic singles, etc…).

She has yet to find someone. I suggested she volunteer at a hospital. She’s likely to at least make friends. And one never knows who has a single friend!!!

I personally met my hubby at work (and I wasn’t even interested in meeting anyone), but would NEVER have “looked” for someone at my place of employment. It’s funny, I used to worry about what work would be like if things didn’t work out, but we still work at the same university and I never see him on campus b/c we are in buildings on different sides of the highway!!!

Good luck to you!

 

[royal_archer]

How do you meet guys?

Forget bars. If your parish has social events, all well and good. If you volunteer for some kind of political or charitable activity all well and good too.

But if you want to meet guys, sign up for guy-heavy events or classes (like sports-oriented classes or something equally wholesome) and then let them help you figure stuff out.

Ditto.

OP,

I have been involved with work related professional societies. At the meetings you will find a lot of married carreer oriented men but a few men who are carreer oriented (stable) and too busy to date. Women who get involved with these events normally don’t stay single long. By meeting someone through a profesional organization you may be more likely to find someone who is interested in you for your mind, personality, and work ethic, not solely your looks. In a situation like this I think you are more likely to find a friend who becomes something more and less likely to find someone who is something other and hope they turn into a friend.

 

[royal_archer]

… However, I’ve observed them for a while, and of the ones that are not married, about half either currently live with or have lived with girlfriends, and in their experience, a relationship must include sex (the fact that I’ve never had sex freaks out the majority of them). The other half are either atheists, agnostics, or Hindus/Buddhists - I work for an oil company now, and we have a large number of non-Christian Indians who have recently come to work for us.
…

If they feel that way about your chaste status run. Think about it. if they feel the way you describe then it is almost like they are looking at you and thinking “I would prefer if she had been with another man.” If a girl has been around that would be a turn off for a man who was truly interested in a long term exclusive relationship. On the other hand if someone is looking for a long term relationship, all other things being equal, they would be more interested in finding someone with whom they have an exclusive relationship. The only reason I can think of a guy being excited about hearing that a woman has had other relationships is because he feels her past would make it more likely for him to get a quick and easy “score”.

Now when I say “other things being equal” I mean that this isn’t always a major concern.