How does one plan for a Catholic funeral Mass?

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Does one make prior arrangements with the parish or do family members have to request?

If I’m the only Catholic in the family, do I need to mention explicitly in writing that I desire to be buried as a Catholic?
 
You can make prior arrangements with the funeral director, and make sure the executor of your estate knows your desires.

The parish church isn’t going to have custody of your corpus after you expire, so unless someone notifies them that the services of a priest are required for your funeral mass, how would they know?

Doing your last will and testament, getting a level headed executor to carry out your wishes, and discussing/prepaying your funeral arrangements, are your keys.
 
Prepaying for a burial plot or space in a columbarium would be helpful. Heck, if you’ve already spent the money why would anyone override your wishes. And I would leave some written instructions to those handling the arrangement and some advance notice to your parish as to your wishes. Especially if your are fortunate to pass in your home or local medical facility and have a priest their for the sacrament of the sick.
I too am currently dealing with those questions. Best to you.
 
If your country has Advanced Care Planning or End of Life Cares, you can also add your requests (parish name etc) to this as well. Augustinian has given very sound idea’s…
 
You will be suprised then how many families do override (in court) your wishes. It can be a very touchy subject for some families,
 
If true and this situation happens, sounds like the OP needs to sharpen his will, and possibly get legal help to insure his wishes are honored.
 
You plan with a funeral home for the science parts, and with your parish for the Spiritual parts.

Go in and talk to the Secretary, they will likely give you a book so you can pick out your readings, songs, etc. Everything is written down and put in your parishioner record. Do you want a Rosary at the visitation, do you want that at the Church or funeral home, all of these things you can plan.

You let the Funeral Director know that your Mass/details are on file at St Blah Blah parish.

I have mine on file down to what will go on the prayer cards (a request to pray for me, not a sappy “she is only missing” sort of poem).
 
TheLittleLady said:
You plan with a funeral home for the science parts, and with your parish for the Spiritual parts.
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Funeral Directors are more in tune with the spiritual aspects of their trade than you seem to be giving them credit for. I was involved in the funeral arrangements for an aunt who passed without many instructions. The funeral director had everyone in his rolodex, was able to line up a very reverent and appropriate funeral mass and burial for her.
 
You do want to make prior arrangements with the funeral home and your parish. If you are the only Catholic in your family, you want to have an executor and POA/attorney-in-fact whom you can trust to carry out your wishes for a Catholic funeral and burial.
 
I work for a pairish, so, I literally deal with funeral directors at least once a week. There are things your funeral director will not do.

He/she will not select the readings or the songs for your funeral. Your parish has a book or list for you. How many families I see sit there with the book and spend tearful hours trying to know “what readings would he want?” Take that burden off your family, pick your songs and readings now.

They will not know that you do not want a “generic” prayer card.

They will not know that you want a rosary and visitation at the Church instead of in a funeral home (also, they make more $$ getting you to use the funeral home chapel for your Rosary).

They are mostly compassionate professionals, but, they are not liturgy planners.
 
You can “pre-need” your entire funeral with a funeral home that works closely with your Catholic parish, and put instructions in your will that you want to be buried there.

You can also speak with your parish about whether you can pre-need any funeral arrangements such as hymns, etc. out of the prescribed book.

If you’re the only Catholic, yes it’s a good idea to let your next of kin know that you definitely want to be buried as a Catholic. Of course, you will also need to be practicing as a Catholic before your death so there’s no question that’s what you are. It helps if you are registered with a parish and regularly receiving sacraments, contributing etc there.
 
TheLittleLady said:
How many families I see sit there with the book and spend tearful hours trying to know “what readings would he want?” Take that burden off your family, pick your songs and readings now.
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Are there really a lot of families that this is a such a burden? Aren’t there a lot of people who trust the priest to choose the appropriate passages to read, based upon the priest’s record of doing dozens of funeral masses every year?
 
Tis_Bearself said:
Of course, you will also need to be practicing as a Catholic before your death so there’s no question that’s what you are
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If you are going to “pre-need” your arrangements, that’s certainly true.

But my life experience has been it hasn’t been a problem arranging a Catholic funeral, even if the parish office doesn’t know who the decedent is- provided he lived in their parish.
 
For most families this is a real struggle. Everyone wants their loved one’s funeral to be special and personalized. Not every family is close to their priest, so, they may not feel that the priest knows mamma well enough to select the readings that she would want.

Heck, there are songs I loathe, if someone who did not know my personal tastes selected the songs they would likely select at least one of the the Funeral Trifecta “Be Not Afraid/Here I Am Lord/Eagle’s Wings”. I’d promptly rise from the dead and whack someone upside the head with a hymnal!
 
Augustinian said:
But my life experience has been it hasn’t been a problem arranging a Catholic funeral, even if the parish office doesn’t know who the decedent is- provided he lived in their parish.
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I have known people who had considerable difficulty arranging a Catholic funeral in the case where the person was a former Catholic but had not been practicing or contributing to the church. In one case, family members still carry a great animosity towards the Church to this day because “the priest wouldn’t bury Grandpa”.

I think it depends on the individual pastor. To be on the safe side, it is good if you are at least “known” to the parish in the sense of being in their files, on their rolls, for things like sacraments, or contributions, or participation, or something. The priest does not need to personally know you and indeed in many large parishes with overworked priests, he is not going to know everybody. But it’s good to have some record of existence in your parish to avoid any sort of issue.
 
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Bruised_Reed said:
The will may not be the best place to put those instructions.

Right. Not in your will and not in a safe deposit box.
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If you go into any sort of long-term care before death, usually they will have you fill out some paperwork that has the contact in case of death and you may also specify a funeral home in some cases.

This does not help in the case of accidental or sudden death without any long term care, though.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
I have known people who had considerable difficulty arranging a Catholic funeral in the case where the person was a former Catholic but had not been practicing or contributing to the church. In one case, family members still carry a great animosity towards the Church to this day because “the priest wouldn’t bury Grandpa”.
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In this kind of situation, I think the family has an understandable gripe. Canon 1184 really doesn’t allow Catholics to be denied a funeral except for being a notorious apostate, heretic or public sinner (on the lines of John Gotti or Paul Castellano).

Just being a crappy Catholic isn’t supposed to be enough to deny a funeral mass.
 
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