How have you navigated paying on a first date?

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Share what you are ordering before the waiter comes if she asks. Girls often use the man’s order as a gauge for price.

Not sure if mothers still teach their daughters that.

My husband got wise and stopped telling me which turned our dates into an interesting dance. Lol. But don’t do that on the first date.
 
Not 20 year old practicing Catholics. Actually, the existence of such women at all is likely mythical.
 
You reach for the check. If she says thank you or does not try to take the check, you pay it and don’t make a big deal out of it.

If she says “no, let me get that” or “how much is my portion?” then you graciously either hand her the check or you say “The total is $54 before tax and tip, how about $28 and you let me get the tax and tip?”
 
A young man should not take any lady out on a date where he has to rely on her to pay. Choose a venue one can afford, regardless of the girl’s financial ability to pay.
 
I said they’re rare and most Catholics are nominal.

Bokbok
 
tafan2 said:
Not 20 year old practicing Catholics. Actually, the existence of such women at all is likely mythical.
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Not really that rare.
When I was a 20 year old practicing Catholic (and yes, i did still go to church every week then and Confession every so often - I fell off the bus a few years later), I would offer to pay my half if the date was with a man I didn’t know very well, as in a “getting to know you” or a blind date. The reason was that I did not want a man spending significant money on me when I wasn’t sure if I was interested in him and vice versa. Some men who turned out to be “not so nice” would expect certain things in return if they spent money on you. My mother warned me about this, having had such experiences herself.

If it was a guy I knew well enough to feel comfortable with him paying, then I would want him to offer to pay. I in turn would try to propose outings/ order things that wouldn’t strain his pocketbook.
 
Catholic girls who practice, or Catholic girls who practice and want to pay for their half of a date?
Also, rarer where?
Not all practicing Catholic girls are traditionalists. I know in major cities with heavy Catholic populations, they most certainly are not.
 
It gets tricky if you’ve known each other for a long time… in this case they’ve been friends for four years. I (as a man) have had women friends whom I’ve taken out for dinner, or gone to the movies, or gone on walks in the park without any intentions of romance on either side. If it’s an established friendship you do need to clarify the nature of the engagement.
 
I hope you two are able to get together soon. Make clear your intentions, keep God first (way to go arranging a date that starts with mass!) and yes pay for the dinner. A girl who gets excited about mass and dinner with you is probably quite probably a keeper so don’t let distance be too much of an obstacle.

I like to think of buying dinner not in terms of etiquette or transaction but as gift. Give the woman the gift of your time, presence, interest and a yummy meal. She may never pay for dinner but may see you need something and give it to you or find something that she knows would give you joy and gift it or she may even make you something.

That being said, as a woman, I always anticipate the man will pay. I offer, of course. But I have never actually paid for a one on one date.
 
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I think catholic girls who actually practice are pretty rare

Bokbok
 
Its interesting. Women today are independent, treated as equal partners in all decision making, work… yet there’s still an expectation that a man will pay during the dating phase. It’s a very convenient legacy of a bygone era of men as providers / leaders…
Years ago I had a woman friend who would never ever have let a man pay for a date on feminist principles. On the other hand she let me buy her dinner because she knew I had no romantic intentions.
 
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There’s so many of them at the local Newman Center I have a hard time getting a seat at daily Mass if I’m late.
And the Newman Center just closed for the semester, so they all showed up in a carpool to the 9 am parish Mass up the road.
Granted it’s not enough to fill a stadium but it’s a significant number of devout young ladies I see
 
What Newman center? Maybe where you live there’s a bunch but not where I live

Bokbok
 
It’s in a really heavily Catholic area not far from Philadelphia.
The suburbs of Philadelphia overall have more Catholics in one place than I’ve ever seen. Maybe in Boston they have this many also, idk.
 
That’s really quite special and amazing to hear. I go to daily mass at college every day and there is about 5 students give or take a couple every day and always 5 or so people from the community and nearby neighborhoods. One time it was just myself, a faculty worker, and the priest haha.

There’s really three or so students that are there every mass including myself so it gets a bit disheartening to not see other people both male and female my age. There’s a bunch of other on campus activities as well but it’s the same crowd. So whatever Newman Center you are near, sounds like a great place with good people!
 
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It’s busy, I’ll say that much. I often have trouble finding a spot to park in the lot when about 25 cars are there on a weekday and the seating for daily Mass is always on overflow because it’s in a Chapel that only seats about 35 people. They do have a big space for Sunday Mass.
 
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