How important is physical attraction in relationships?

[Binto]

Title says it all!

 

[pensmama87]

In a romantic relationship or marriage? Very.

But initial chemistry or lack thereof isn’t nearly enough to discern if a person is worth dating or not. Sometimes you realize attraction after the fact, by getting to notice details you would miss on first glance. Or sometimes someone seems very attractive, and then they speak.

I’m also of the opinion that most people are moderately attractive if they practice good hygiene, wear clothes that flatter their body types, and seek to be pleasant in pretty much any social interaction.

 

[LongingSoul]

It seems to be quite an important aspect in the dating process and cultural meeting places are designed for hookups between ‘the beautiful people’. I always detested those disco meetups though when I was young (in the 70s/80s)

I preferred to meet my dates through Catholic Youth Group or doing volunteer work which I what I try to encourage my kids to do. When you connect with someone on a deeper level, looks become much less important.

 

[Bataar]

I think it varies by the individual. For me it’s very important. Maybe it’s because I have Aspergers but the thought of touching someone I find unattractive kind of gives me the chills. I’m definitely not saying the other person has to be a model or anything like that, she just has to be someone I find attractive.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

It seems to be quite an important aspect in the dating process and cultural meeting places are designed for hookups between ‘the beautiful people’. I always detested those disco meetups though when I was young (in the 70s/80s)

I preferred to meet my dates through Catholic Youth Group or doing volunteer work which I what I try to encourage my kids to do. When you connect with someone on a deeper level, looks become much less important.

Not everyone falls in love with/marries their youth group crush, though.

I think physical attraction is very important.

 

[christofirst]

I remember that old song, “I’ve grown accustomed to your face,” and it seems like in the old days, physical attraction was not necessarily so important. My grandparents basically had an arranged marriage. They did see each others’ picture beforehand, but my Grandpa more or less proposed with out ever actually meeting my grandma: “I’ll pay for your trip to California if you’ll marry me,” and she agreed. Their marriage lasted 57 years, until he died.

These days, we seem to demand perfection and strong attraction, but marriages don’t always last.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Not everyone falls in love with/marries their youth group crush, though.

I think physical attraction is very important.

And since when are meeting at youth group and sexual attraction mutually exclusive?

I agree that it is VERY important. That said, if two people are not attracted to each other but agree that they want a marriage and family, they love each other, and they are committed to staying together, then great! But a marriage where only one partner isn’t attracted to the other is a recipe for disaster and heartbreak.

 

[Xantippe]

In a romantic relationship or marriage? Very.

But initial chemistry or lack thereof isn’t nearly enough to discern if a person is worth dating or not. Sometimes you realize attraction after the fact, by getting to notice details you would miss on first glance. Or sometimes someone seems very attractive, and then they speak.

I’m also of the opinion that most people are moderately attractive if they practice good hygiene, wear clothes that flatter their body types, and seek to be pleasant in pretty much any social interaction.

Right!

Physical attraction is very important for a prospective spouse, but it may not appear instantly, or be the sort of thing that comes out in a photograph (a beautiful voice, physical grace, or vivacity).

Consider Alan Rickman (Professor Snape from Harry Potter). He’s physically nothing special, but the voice is amaaaazing. There’s a blogger that says that she’d like to sit on his lap and listen to him read the NYC phonebook. I wouldn’t go that far, but he does have a gorgeous voice.

 

[Fixed_Gauge]

Ideally, it shouldn’t matter at all. Your relationship with a person should not depend on how you feel about their physical attributes. You “relate” to a person’s soul, not their face. I’m sure people who truly love their spouses don’t say their relationship deteriorated because their husband or wife don’t look like 20 year-olds anymore.

Still, it’s can be difficult to generate romantic feelings for someone you are not so physically attracted to. But everyone should try nonetheless.

 

[phil_at_dayboro]

Well it sure helps,.
But after a while together you don’t see a person for there attractiveness,
but rather you see a part of yourself , But it is nice to peruse a crowd and then look at
Your Partner and think to yourself, yep still looks good,

 

[Xantippe]

I remember that old song, “I’ve grown accustomed to your face,” and it seems like in the old days, physical attraction was not necessarily so important. My grandparents basically had an arranged marriage. They did see each others’ picture beforehand, but my Grandpa more or less proposed with out ever actually meeting my grandma: “I’ll pay for your trip to California if you’ll marry me,” and she agreed. Their marriage lasted 57 years, until he died.

These days, we seem to demand perfection and strong attraction, but marriages don’t always last.

Your grandparents only had photographs to go on. That would suggest that physical attraction and appearance were actually very important for their match.

 

[Sarcelle]

It does play a part but should not be the most important part of the relationship. People do grow old after all.

 

[christofirst]

Your grandparents only had photographs to go on. That would suggest that physical attraction and appearance were actually very important for their match.

Maybe. Could be they were really hot by 1910 standards.

 

[underacloud]

Physical attraction is important (to various degrees) in a relationship if it’s important to one or both people in that relationship.

Question answered. You’re welcome.

 

[Binto]

Ideally, it shouldn’t matter at all. Your relationship with a person should not depend on how you feel about their physical attributes. You “relate” to a person’s soul, not their face. I’m sure people who truly love their spouses don’t say their relationship deteriorated because their husband or wife don’t look like 20 year-olds anymore.

Still, it’s can be difficult to generate romantic feelings for someone you are not so physically attracted to. But everyone should try nonetheless.

But I’m 23. I naturally shouldn’t be attracted to 70 year olds! I agree with the posters who believe it is very important. However, I definitely see the importance of seeing your partner’s inner beauty as well; which is most defiantly more important than looks.

 

[Binto]

Physical attraction is important (to various degrees) in a relationship if it’s important to one or both people in that relationship.

Question answered. You’re welcome.

This is a good response. I guess I have to feel it out and let God take care of the rest!!

 

[LongingSoul]

But I’m 23. I naturally shouldn’t be attracted to 70 year olds! I agree with the posters who believe it is very important. However, I definitely see the importance of seeing your partner’s inner beauty as well; which is most defiantly more important than looks.

I don’t know if you are male or female but for females today there is a much more prevalent emphasis on cultivating a certain look with the intention of being competitive in the meat market. I mean the amount of money spent on hair colour, extensions, straightening… then there is the bum and breast implants and tanning and botox and false nails etc. Things like personality and conversation are almost irrelevant to many couples until the raw meat market attraction begins to fade.

You often find that people who’ve met at work or some other place where the attraction has been cultivated over a time of knowing each other in a colleague or just friendship capacity… find attraction that is not built on the first of physical impressions alone.

 

[TemperanceOfGod]

I look for personality first and foremost. I don’t care how good looking you are, if you open your mouth and say something foul, you are most unworthy in my standards. If you aren’t the best looking but your heart is beautiful, that’s when you get my attention.

 

[Kelfa28]

I went on, essentially, a blind date with my husband.

We met on match.com and all I saw was a picture. He looked okay and his profile seemed “datable” so we started talking and decided to meet.

The very first thing I thought of when I first saw him was how attractive he looked to me.

I think physical attraction is extremely important for a romantic relationship/marriage. It’s certainly not the only reason to consider marrying someone…but it is important.

You’ve got to be attracted to him/her enough to want to make babies. That involves a level of physical attraction.

My husband joked with me the other day saying “well, if you didn’t look so darn good all the time…you wouldn’t be pregnant again!”

 

[TexasCatholic13]

Thanks for creating a thread that makes me feel even worse about myself. 25 women in 10 ten years and not a single one was attracted to me. Yeah I have a lot of money but I am not blessed in the looks department save my height. Catholic women are why I have been in and out of atheism my whole adult life.