How long for dating and engagement

[bilop]

OK a couple of threads have me wondering. Hypothetically, there are Fred and Ginger. Both are college graduates. Both earn a nice living, are self sufficient, etc. In other words, they are grown up and finished with school, etc. There is nothing they have to wait for like finishing school or something. Also, both are in their early 30’s. So say Fred and Ginger start dating and they really really like each other and are in love, blah blah blah… you know how the rest goes.

Here are my questions: What is an appropriate amount of time for them to date before Fred pops the question? And if Ginger actually says yes, what is a proper engagement time? Also what is too long for each? In other words, how long should Ginger wait for Fred to ask her before moving on? Even if they have talked about it and she knows he wants to he just hasn’t officially asked yet.

Well, with my wife and me it was 6 mos. and 5 mos.

I think, when you know, you know.

God Bless

 

[agapewolf]

but see, engagement should not be a surprise.

The proposal, sure. Not the engagement. Shouldnt’ you be discerning this together? Shouldnt’ it be at a point that you know he’s going to propose, but the exact time is not known?

“if he wants to marry me, he’ll ask”. Sorry, how much time are you going to waste waiting around for someone that doesn’t want to marry you? (not saying he doesn’t…but you are talking now like you don’t know)

 

[dixieagle]

but see, engagement should not be a surprise.

The proposal, sure. Not the engagement. Shouldnt’ you be discerning this together? Shouldnt’ it be at a point that you know he’s going to propose, but the exact time is not known?

“if he wants to marry me, he’ll ask”. Sorry, how much time are you going to waste waiting around for someone that doesn’t want to marry you? (not saying he doesn’t…but you are talking now like you don’t know)

I think this is very sensible advice. Surprise proposal, but everything else talked out. At this point you two should be very much on the same page. I think it’s time for a real heart-to-heart discussion.

I can’t imagine settling for the mere “company” of someone I truly loved. That’s selling yourself really short.

 

[rusty20]

I’d say** at least** a year of dating and then another six months of engagement (maybe even a full year.) My reason for at least a year of dating is that after 6 months, the honey moon stage generally ends for dating. So another six months and you’re going strong…

 

[baylee]

I think this is very sensible advice. Surprise proposal, but everything else talked out. At this point you two should be very much on the same page. I think it’s time for a real heart-to-heart discussion.

I can’t imagine settling for the mere “company” of someone I truly loved. That’s selling yourself really short.

I agree. Noclevername…are you afraid to confront him?

 

[whatevergirl]

I think this is very sensible advice. Surprise proposal, but everything else talked out. At this point you two should be very much on the same page. I think it’s time for a real heart-to-heart discussion.

I can’t imagine settling for the mere “company” of someone I truly loved. That’s selling yourself really short.

I agree!

 

[KC91]

A real player would ask within the first or second night. With champagne, of course, presenting a diamond wedding ring.

 

[whatevergirl]

A real player would ask within the first or second night. With champagne, of course, presenting a diamond wedding ring.

I like the champagne and diamond ring idea…but first or second night?

 

[KC91]

Well, if she has been seduced by then and in a good mood…

 

[Bataar]

I’d probably want to date 2 or 3 years before getting engaged.