J
How long should it take to receive permissions from Byzantine Rite to marry (a non-catholic) in Latin Rite church?
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MaryEllen1951
Guest
I no longer live in Endicott, NY (Broome county), but live about an hour away in a small town in the next county (Tioga). I’m not sure if there are any other Byzantine churches nearer to where I live than the one in Endicott. I need to do more research. I was so young when we attended there, and do not have any living relatives to get more information from.
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phil19034
Guest
Interesting: there is a Russian Orthodox parish by the same name 2-3 blocks away. I wonder if they were once connected?
Anyway, the parish is part of the Eparchy of Passaic. You could call the bishop’s office and ask for assistance. Their website is: eparchyofpassaic.com
God Bless
M
MaryEllen1951
Guest
I was wondering myself if the two churches were at some point connected. It sure made my search a bit confusing at first.
Thank-you for the information. I spoke to my priest this afternoon who also confirmed that the church is Byzantine-Ruthenian, Eparchy of Passaic. I’ve really learned a lot in the past 24 hours and I truly appreciate all of the (name removed by moderator)uts!
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YADA
Guest
hang in there … I am praying that your husband will have conversion of heart and actively support your journey of faith …his life will benefit immensely and meeting couples at your local parish will enrich and strengthen you individually and as a couple…
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MaryEllen1951
Guest
My goodness, a lot has happened in the last 24 hours. I appreciate all of the information and support from so many caring people! It’s all been an answer to prayer. Yesterday I was at the end of my rope and feeling quite hopeless and discouraged. I felt compelled to write the post and have received so much more than I expected.
The biggest change has been a complete softening of my heart. I have taken in all (name removed by moderator)uts, pondered and prayed. I have felt the power of your prayers as well. I’ve gone through the hardest part (the annulments) and am so close to completion. The torment I had been feeling was coming from satan’s lies preying on my weaknesses. This last hurdle is not as insurmountable as I was imagining. I can see that my falling into a dark hole has become a blessing because I am feeling lifted up and much stronger.
I’m thinking now that I should allow the process to unfold as it should (not as I will it) and work on being patient, trusting God’s timing, which is always perfect. I actually feel very much at peace with this, finally.
Thank-you all so much!
As a gift to you, I want to tell you about a book I just started reading this morning. It’s titled “7 Secrets of Confession”, by Vinny Flynn. It’s so well written. I haven’t been able to put it down and cried tears of joy throughout. I will never view confession in the same way ever again…what a gift it is! It touched me deeply and is life changing. I highly recommend it.
The biggest change has been a complete softening of my heart. I have taken in all (name removed by moderator)uts, pondered and prayed. I have felt the power of your prayers as well. I’ve gone through the hardest part (the annulments) and am so close to completion. The torment I had been feeling was coming from satan’s lies preying on my weaknesses. This last hurdle is not as insurmountable as I was imagining. I can see that my falling into a dark hole has become a blessing because I am feeling lifted up and much stronger.
I’m thinking now that I should allow the process to unfold as it should (not as I will it) and work on being patient, trusting God’s timing, which is always perfect. I actually feel very much at peace with this, finally.
Thank-you all so much!
As a gift to you, I want to tell you about a book I just started reading this morning. It’s titled “7 Secrets of Confession”, by Vinny Flynn. It’s so well written. I haven’t been able to put it down and cried tears of joy throughout. I will never view confession in the same way ever again…what a gift it is! It touched me deeply and is life changing. I highly recommend it
.
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MaryEllen1951
Guest
Thank-you for your prayers!! My husband is a wonderful person who supports my personal journey but has never shown an interest in joining me. I have accepted that at this time, but I take seriously the importance of me being a role model representing our faith. It causes me to want to work even harder to live Christ’s teachings and strive daily to become more like Him.
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phil19034
Guest
I was curious so I did a little more digging. According to the Russian Orthodox parish’s website, sounds like the two parishes were once one and either split with some joining the Catholic Church or a mission created by the Orthodox parish later became Catholic.
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phil19034
Guest
This post brought a tear to my eye.My goodness, a lot has happened in the last 24 hours. I appreciate all of the information and support from so many caring people! It’s all been an answer to prayer. Yesterday I was at the end of my rope and feeling quite hopeless and discouraged. I felt compelled to write the post and have received so much more than I expected.
The biggest change has been a complete softening of my heart. I have taken in all (name removed by moderator)uts, pondered and prayed. I have felt the power of your prayers as well. I’ve gone through the hardest part (the annulments) and am so close to completion. The torment I had been feeling was coming from satan’s lies preying on my weaknesses. This last hurdle is not as insurmountable as I was imagining. I can see that my falling into a dark hole has become a blessing because I am feeling lifted up and much stronger.
I’m thinking now that I should allow the process to unfold as it should (not as I will it) and work on being patient, trusting God’s timing, which is always perfect. I actually feel very much at peace with this, finally.
Thank-you all so much!
As a gift to you, I want to tell you about a book I just started reading this morning. It’s titled “7 Secrets of Confession”, by Vinny Flynn. It’s so well written. I haven’t been able to put it down and cried tears of joy throughout. I will never view confession in the same way ever again…what a gift it is! It touched me deeply and is life changing. I highly recommend it
May the Peace of The Lord be with you, your husband, and your family. Amen.
5
5Loaves
Guest
I’m so glad the responses here have helped change how you were feeling.
I see from the date of Pentecost on a post that they celebrated Pascha on the Old Calendar, and Christmas on the New Calendar, as we do in my parish. (That’s probably of more interest to us active ECs than it will be to you) There’s no evidence of anything but English on their Facebook and Website. They look like a lively bunch.
Again, I would encourage you sometime to explore your heritage a bit, and it seems like you live quite close to an ECC, and even the one it happens where you were Baptized and Chrismated. Maybe you could consider visiting on the Feast of St Nicholas, which is a big one in the Eastern Churches, although it’s not one of our 12 Great Feasts. It happens to fall on Saturday this year.
You can also look for other parishes here on Find-A-Parish. Eparchy of Passaic is very large but there may not be an EC parish any closer. Where many of us live our parish being an hour away isn’t unusual.
Looking at the website of the Orthodox Church with the same name, it was founded prior to the founding of the Eastern Catholic parish of Ss. Peter & Paul. That’s probably an interesting story. Probably asking on Byzcath Forum would generate some information on that.
Do keep us posted as things change.
Holy Spirit Byzantine Church in Binghamton and Ss. Peter & Paul Byzantine Church in Endicott seem to have a kind of sister relationship, in their words, and maybe are both served by Fr Peter Tomas Together they have a Facebook. I have to say I’ve really enjoyed looking at their Facebook “Photos” section.
I see from the date of Pentecost on a post that they celebrated Pascha on the Old Calendar, and Christmas on the New Calendar, as we do in my parish. (That’s probably of more interest to us active ECs than it will be to you
) There’s no evidence of anything but English on their Facebook and Website. They look like a lively bunch.Again, I would encourage you sometime to explore your heritage a bit, and it seems like you live quite close to an ECC, and even the one it happens where you were Baptized and Chrismated. Maybe you could consider visiting on the Feast of St Nicholas, which is a big one in the Eastern Churches, although it’s not one of our 12 Great Feasts. It happens to fall on Saturday this year.
You can also look for other parishes here on Find-A-Parish. Eparchy of Passaic is very large but there may not be an EC parish any closer. Where many of us live our parish being an hour away isn’t unusual.
Looking at the website of the Orthodox Church with the same name, it was founded prior to the founding of the Eastern Catholic parish of Ss. Peter & Paul. That’s probably an interesting story. Probably asking on Byzcath Forum would generate some information on that.
Do keep us posted as things change.
M
MaryEllen1951
Guest
Thank-you for the information. This has peaked an interest in me to learn more about the church of my heritage. That’s perhaps another great blessing coming out of something I had previously viewed as an obstacle.I’m so glad the responses here have helped change how you were feeling.
Holy Spirit Byzantine Church in Binghamton and Ss. Peter & Paul Byzantine Church in Endicott seem to have a kind of sister relationship, in their words, and maybe are both served by Fr Peter Tomas Together they have a Facebook. I have to say I’ve really enjoyed looking at their Facebook “Photos” section.
I see from the date of Pentecost on a post that they celebrated Pascha on the Old Calendar, and Christmas on the New Calendar, as we do in my parish. (That’s probably of more interest to us active ECs than it will be to you
Again, I would encourage you sometime to explore your heritage a bit, and it seems like you live quite close to an ECC, and even the one it happens where you were Baptized and Chrismated. Maybe you could consider visiting on the Feast of St Nicholas, which is a big one in the Eastern Churches, although it’s not one of our 12 Great Feasts. It happens to fall on Saturday this year.
You can also look for other parishes here on Find-A-Parish. Eparchy of Passaic is very large but there may not be an EC parish any closer. Where many of us live our parish being an hour away isn’t unusual.
Looking at the website of the Orthodox Church with the same name, it was founded prior to the founding of the Eastern Catholic parish of Ss. Peter & Paul. That’s probably an interesting story. Probably asking on Byzcath Forum would generate some information on that.
Do keep us posted as things change.
M
MJJean
Guest
I just wanted to add some sympathy and support. I was married in 1994, separated in 1999 and divorced in 2002. I am civilly married (December 2002) to a cradle Catholic (Latin Rite) who fell away long before our marriage. He came back home to the Church in 2013 just after Easter. I attended my first Mass on Pentecost 2013 and submitted the application for annulment so we could convalidate our marriage the first week of July 2013. I’m still waiting for a decision.
I, too, sometimes cry when others go to receive and I cannot. Labor Day Mass I burst into tears during the small daily Mass and felt terribly embarrassed. I try to remind myself to trust in God and the annulment will happen in His time. I also use the time during Eucharist to pray for just and speedy annulment decisions for all those waiting and to pray for other serious intentions like the safety of my husband at work and for the souls of those recently departed and those who are seriously ill. It helps to turn the focus to others who need God’s comfort and mercy.
I read in another post you are going to let it go and wait. Great in theory, but in practice those working for the Church (Latin and Eastern) are only human. Sometimes paperwork gets misplaced or is unattended to due to the person who is handling it being busy. I’d call the Eastern Rite folks who have jurisdiction and ask their help and guidance. Just in case.
I, too, sometimes cry when others go to receive and I cannot. Labor Day Mass I burst into tears during the small daily Mass and felt terribly embarrassed. I try to remind myself to trust in God and the annulment will happen in His time. I also use the time during Eucharist to pray for just and speedy annulment decisions for all those waiting and to pray for other serious intentions like the safety of my husband at work and for the souls of those recently departed and those who are seriously ill. It helps to turn the focus to others who need God’s comfort and mercy.
I read in another post you are going to let it go and wait. Great in theory, but in practice those working for the Church (Latin and Eastern) are only human. Sometimes paperwork gets misplaced or is unattended to due to the person who is handling it being busy. I’d call the Eastern Rite folks who have jurisdiction and ask their help and guidance. Just in case.
T
twf
Guest
It’s important to remember that anyone in an irregular marriage, while waiting for an annulment or convalidation can receive. The only thing barring reception is engaging in and intending to continue to engage in what is technically premarital sex. Abstaining can be a very tall order- but possible by the grace of God.
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MaryEllen1951
Guest
Blessings to you both! I returned to the Catholic Church the Sunday before Palm Sunday in 2013 after being away for 40 years. I started the annulment process in May 2013. I was never married, but my husband had 2 divorces. It took us 4 months just to get all of the necessary original paperwork (baptism records, marriage licenses, divorce papers). I’ll admit I wasn’t hurrying it up because I didn’t find out until September that because my civil marriage was considered invalid by the Church I was in a state of sin and unable to receive communion. That most definitely increased my anxiety and sense of urgency. Last September we received both Decrees of Nullity (a few weeks over one year). As you know, it is quite a detailed process and can be very emotional. I will keep you and your husband in my prayers for a smooth and timely decision affirming the invalidity of your first marriage.
That’s very good advice to focus on others. I have cried at every mass since September 2013. I say a prayer of spiritual communion while others are receiving. It is a bit embarrassing to have tears streaming down my face but I can never control it. Some of the hymns during communion touch my soul also. I try to sing them, but my voice crumbles.
Point well taken. I spoke to my parish priest on the phone yesterday and he conveyed the Chancellor’s information that it should take one month. I hate to think they’re now just getting around to sending out the request. I need to find out when he actually submitted it to the Byzantine Bishop. While I was talking to the priest, he got a message that the Chancellor says he does not have copies of the Decrees of Nullity. I sure hope he wasn’t holding it up waiting for those since we received them 2 months ago at which time my priest initiated the paperwork with the Diocese. My priest expressed some frustration to me in regard to dealing with this Chancellor.
I can wait one more month, but you are correct that if it starts going longer I need to speak to the Byzantine Bishop’s office. When we were going through the annulment process, the Diocese encouraged us to call any time if we had questions or concerns. From what I hear from others, the Eastern Churches Eparchy are equally as helpful.
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MaryEllen1951
Guest
This is becoming a real possibility for me. I spoke about it to my husband and he is supportive, even though he has always had a hard time understanding the whole idea of invalid marriages and convalidation. He is willing to do anything to make me feel better, as he’s seen my suffering first hand.
T
twf
Guest
That’s great.
Many Catholic couples IN regular marriages still go for weeks at a time abstaining (or longer in some cases) if practicing natural family planning. I don’t know of many married couples who don’t abstain at one point or another. It is possible!
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MJJean
Guest
I guess 2013 was a good year to return to the Church! Unfortunately, a lot of returnees have marriage situations to deal with and it seems the Tribunals are just swamped. Our archdiocese says annulments typically take about 12-18 months to complete and here I am at 15 months with not even a Court of First Instance decision.
When I realized my husband was seriously returning to the Church I did some research and knew I’d have to apply for annulment and have our marriage convalidated for his sake. Then, a month or so later, I felt the call to convert. I already had the divorce decree and my Baptism record, so I only had to send away for a copy of my first civil marriage license. It arrived within a week. My ex was never Baptized and didn’t wish to participate in the process as he is a Norse Pagan. Thankfully my oldest daughter, who lives near him, nagged him to write something to that effect on his paperwork and mail it back to the Tribunal so he wouldn’t hold things up for me out of spite. All in all, the process has been rather smooth for me other than the waiting.
The hardest parts emotionally are not being able to be received into the Church, knowing my marriage is invalid other than civilly, and facing the fact that I did a lot of sinning during that time of my life. My marriage is everything the Church teaches and yet it’s not recognized by the Church due to a stupid youthful act. Bitter pill to swallow.
I don’t cry at every Mass, but I want to most Sundays. Sometimes I am a bit numb. Sometimes I feel peace and hope. Others, sadness and despair. I never know how I’ll feel at Mass. When this is all over I’ll probably bawl like a baby when my marriage is made right and when my husband and I are Confirmed. (He left as a teen before Confirmation, so we’ll be Confirmed together)
I’m glad that you only have about a month to wait. Light at the end of the tunnel and it’s not a train!
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MaryEllen1951
Guest
Absolutely 2013 was a very good year!! Actually, there is a lot more to my story. My only sister (5 years older than me) was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in October 2010. She was my best friend and confidante. We lived about 50 min. from each other but got together several times a month. She knew me like no other, and accepted me unconditionally. She was a devout Catholic and worked for the church for over 25 years. She never said a word to me outwardly about returning to church, but she would often invite me to some functions. One year, she invited me to Holy Thursday Mass. It touched me and moved me to tears, but wasn’t enough to get me interested in returning.
She died on October 2, 2011, almost a year to the day she was diagnosed. Having had worked for the church, she had FIVE priests attending to the funeral service. Because she knew she was terminal, she also had the blessing of planning all her music, readings, and who she wanted to participate. During that last year of her life, her faith shown through. She was calm and peaceful. I spent time with her every single week and her face would light up when she saw me. I was amazed at how accepting she was of her fate. It was such a testimony of her faith. Still, even that was not enough to get me to return to church.
It was one year and six months later, on March 16, 2013 when I experienced what I consider a miracle. All of a sudden, I felt this overwhelming desire to go to church. It came out of nowhere, as I hadn’t had any thought of it prior to that day. It wasn’t subtle - it was like a lightning bolt. I went to church the very next day, Sunday, March 17. I remember because it was St. Patrick’s Day and that year was the week before Palm Sunday. I went to Reconciliation for the first time in 40 years the day before Holy Thursday. That was the beginning of my journey back. What I felt in my heart was that my beloved sister was with our Mom and Dad and the angels and saints, praying for me to return to Christ’s Church. What she could not do here on earth, she was able to accomplish where she is now.
That’s a big part of why I cry so hard every week in church. I know she’s there, along with my Mom and Dad, and they are rejoicing with every other being in heaven.
I pray for you to get your Decree of Nullity swiftly. My husband had 2 marriages, and we received the affirmation decision of invalidity for both marriages 12 months from when the paperwork was submitted to the Diocese Tribunal. The final Decrees were received about 1 month after that.
Are you in RCIA? I have had to re-learn so many things after being away for so long. A lot of it is coming back, and there is more I’ve learned that I did not know before. I have found many excellent educational books for Catholics and am very much feeling reborn. I don’t take anything for granted. There are so many blessings.
What a joyous occasion it will be at your convalidation ceremony and your confirmations!! Patience definitely is a virtue, and it is so worth the pain of having to wait.
V
Vico
Guest
From Familiaris Consortio (St. Pope John Paul II):* c) Catholics in Civil Marriages
*
82. There are increasing cases of Catholics who for ideological or practical reasons, prefer to contract a merely civil marriage, and who reject or at least defer religious marriage. Their situation cannot of course be likened to that of people simply living together without any bond at all, because in the present case there is at least a certain commitment to a properly-defined and probably stable state of life, even though the possibility of a future divorce is often present in the minds of those entering a civil marriage. By seeking public recognition of their bond on the part of the State, such couples show that they are ready to accept not only its advantages but also its obligations. Nevertheless, not even this situation is acceptable to the Church.
The aim of pastoral action will be to make these people understand the need for consistency between their choice of life and the faith that they profess, and to try to do everything possible to induce them to regularize their situation in the light of Christian principle. While treating them with great charity and bringing them into the life of the respective communities, the pastors of the Church will regrettably not be able to admit them to the sacraments.
e) Divorced Persons Who Have Remarried
*
84. Daily experience unfortunately shows that people who have obtained a divorce usually intend to enter into a new union, obviously not with a Catholic religious ceremony. …
*However, the Church reaffirms her practice, which is based upon Sacred Scripture, of not admitting to Eucharistic Communion divorced persons who have remarried. They are unable to be admitted thereto from the fact that their state and condition of life objectively contradict that union of love between Christ and the Church which is signified and effected by the Eucharist. Besides this, there is another special pastoral reason: if these people were admitted to the Eucharist, the faithful would be led into error and confusion regarding the Church’s teaching about the indissolubility of marriage.
Reconciliation in the sacrament of Penance which would open the way to the Eucharist, can only be granted to those who, repenting of having broken the sign of the Covenant and of fidelity to Christ, are sincerely ready to undertake a way of life that is no longer in contradiction to the indissolubility of marriage. This means, in practice, that when, for serious reasons, such as for example the children’s upbringing, a man and a woman cannot satisfy the obligation to separate, they “take on themselves the duty to live in complete continence, that is, by abstinence from the acts proper to married couples.”(180)
vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/apost_exhortations/documents/hf_jp-ii_exh_19811122_familiaris-consortio_en.html
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