How many friends have you lost this year because they can't stand that you're a faithful Catholic?

[3DOCTORS]

I think I may have lost one. I’ve done my absolute best not to pick fights with anyone, but this has been a year when one has to witness to the truth. There’s just too much at stake. Some feel offended no matter how tactful or diplomatic I try to be. I hold no ill will, but it’s painful to me to lose any friendship. I’ll forgive, I’ll pray for their best good in life, and though I might not miss any tensions there might’ve been from time to time, I’ll miss the good times, the fun, the shared interests, the laughter.

And I’ve tried to put out there the option for some friends of “let’s not argue, let’s just focus on the things we do enjoy in common.” It’s still not enough for some. At least I didn’t get yelled at or cussed out, which is something to be grateful for.

Wondering if I’ll lose more friends as the election draws near, and the culture wars continue to heat up. No matter how delicate I try to be.

Anyone relate?

 

[just_came_back]

I have a friend who was baptized into the church 6 years ago but left and just refuses to come back. Actually told me he was faking it all because he thought it was him. I always remind him he was baptized and there is no faking that. He is just way too caught up in eastern philosophies, Ghandi, and has told me of many occasions of his many lucid dreams and the demons he has encountered. I don’t pray for him as much as I should but one, after knowing truth, has to be held accountable for their own actions. I pray someday he comes home.

 

[Allegra]

One good friend and one friendly aquaintance. My good friend has gone Westboro-Baptist-crazy on me, but I’m hoping she will come around one day. She knows that I care about here. She’s gotten involved with some really bad company. (and by “involved” I mean “married to”)

 

[boomerang]

My sister feels alienated from myself and my mother since we have become closer to our faith. She has taken to calling herself a “heathen”. She probably feels that this is how we see her.

 

[Allegra]

My sister feels alienated from myself and my mother since we have become closer to our faith. She has taken to calling herself a “heathen”. She probably feels that this is how we see her.

Perhaps she is afraid that is how God sees her.

 

[PeterJohn]

I lost one good friend and kind of alienated another good friend. The good friend I lost was lost over gay marriage debate. The good friend I alienated is a non practicing baptist and he now keeps me at a distance because of debates over Catholicism. Never have we raised our voices in any conversations but still damage has been done.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I think I may have lost one. I’ve done my absolute best not to pick fights with anyone, but this has been a year when one has to witness to the truth. There’s just too much at stake. Some feel offended no matter how tactful or diplomatic I try to be. I hold no ill will, but it’s painful to me to lose any friendship. I’ll forgive, I’ll pray for their best good in life, and though I might not miss any tensions there might’ve been from time to time, I’ll miss the good times, the fun, the shared interests, the laughter.

And I’ve tried to put out there the option for some friends of “let’s not argue, let’s just focus on the things we do enjoy in common.” It’s still not enough for some. At least I didn’t get yelled at or cussed out, which is something to be grateful for.

Wondering if I’ll lose more friends as the election draws near, and the culture wars continue to heat up. No matter how delicate I try to be.

Anyone relate?

Yeah, except it’s my husband. Up until recently he has said things to provoke me, until I finally caught on that he just likes to see me react. Now I usually just shrug or say, “I don’t know about that” or “You might be right.” It usually defuses the topic. We do agree that no one, especially Catholics, should be voting for the incumbent in most races. We agree that most Catholics don’t understand why they cannot be both a faithful Catholic and a Democrat. And I am content to leave it there for now.

 

[Lost_and_Found_1]

Today’s Second Reading at the 4:30 Vigil Mass seems appropriate…thoughts?

2 Corinthians 12: 7 - 10
7 And to keep me from being too elated by the abundance of revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to harass me, to keep me from being too elated.
8 Three times I besought the Lord about this, that it should leave me;
9 but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

 

[sacred_words]

I’m afraid that might be in store for me come RCIA time. I haven’t told anyone i know about wanting to join the church yet besides the people i’ve come to know at the parish i attend.

 

[Allegra]

I’m afraid that might be in store for me come RCIA time. I haven’t told anyone i know about wanting to join the church yet besides the people i’ve come to know at the parish i attend.

It’s pretty rare to lose a friend simply for joining the Catholic Church. It usually ends up being over a specific issue. For example, the good friend that I lost stopped speaking to me because I told her that I believed the Church was a gift from God and I quote the scripture which says the gates of hell will not prevail agaisnt it. She is really struggling with this because she has joined a “church that is not a church” and she believes that all churches are evil and corrupt and are leading Christians to hell. The other person will not speak to me because I talked back to her after she accused my religion multiple times of hating women. She said she had no idea how intolerant I was.

 

[Delaine75]

I have lost a few friends since I’ve become Catholic (not to mention an ex-husband who suddenly became super rude and enraged at my decision to become Catholic). Suddenly, our “we can peacefully agree to disagree” motto went out the window and they would accuse me of being this or that and throw out insults about the Catholic Church and our beliefs. I have friends of all faiths. I love them all. There are things we don’t agree on, and that’s okay, too. But when someone willfully chooses to be disrespectful toward me because of my new faith, that’s a different story. I guess they weren’t that great of friends in the first place if my journey to become closer to God somehow offends them or intimidates them! It does hurt, though, I do know that. But I promise you that God will send someone to fill that void. I know He did for me. I have found so many new friends who share my Catholic faith, who encourage me and help me along the way.

I will pray for you!

 

[Gordon_Sims]

Not necessarily this year, but over the last few years we’ve cut ties with most of my extended family due to how much worse they’ve started treating us because we’re leading more faithful, Catholic lives. While it’s a relatively small group who are the issue, we can’t be around the bulk of the rest of the family without having to deal with them, so we don’t see the others as a result. They feel the need to insult us either directly or behind our backs, to mistreat our kids, get them to behave inappropriately, and to undermine our parenting by telling them they don’t have to follow our rules, that we’re bad parents, etc.

I also had one of my closest friends quit talking to me for several months. He’s barely talking to me now and I have no idea what caused the rift. I’m guessing it was either pressure from one/some of these others, or anger over how I handled my son’s birthday (I told him I wouldn’t go out with him if he went to a strip club, and my reasons for not going convinced my son to not go), but he won’t admit to not talking to me, let alone to the reasons for why he wasn’t.

I had one acquaintance on Facebook unfriend me because I liked something someone else posted about opposition to the HHS Mandate. I tend not to post too much political/religious content, although if I do more of that closer to the election I’m pretty sure I’ll lose another 10-20% of my Facebook friends.

 

[DavidtheGnome]

I am not a faithful catholic (yet) but I can definetly empathize. I was dating a non-christian when the HHS mandate first started in the fall and caught a lot of flack for suggesting that maybe Catholics were right. Debating contraception lead us to the discussion of abortion in the case of birth defects and I explained I would never allow that to happen to a potential child of mine. Let’s just say she didn’t agree. Eventually I ended the relationship after we could not come to terms over how potential children would be instructed in the faith.

Now I am entering RCIA in the fall and while most of my friends/family are indifferent there are definetly some who have expressed emotion ranging from confusion to hostility.

I try to remind myself to speak the truth in love and remember that I have not always been as convinced about the importance of knowing and honoring truth as I am today.

One of the things that convinced me of the truth of the Catholic Church was its willingness to defend the truth when the rest of the world cries out for it to be silent and “get with the times”. As it is written:

If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you. JN 15:19 NASB

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

Let’s see…I have one brother that won’t talk to me because I’m Catholic and a stepmother and dad who keep saying " I guess you are just a better Catholic than I am"…just cause I go to daily Mass…

 

[UpUpAndAway]

One, an openly homosexual friend. He and I met sixteen years ago while I was still living wild, but he has watched me gradually return fully to the faith. We disagreed over many things, particularly the Church’s position on SSA (obviously), but remained friends. So I thought we were okay…until this year.

He had cancer last year and I remained by him throughout his chemo, which ended early this year. Once he was fully in remission, he decided he’d had enough of me and my Catholic ways.

His father converted a few years ago, and he got tired of me defending his dad’s position all the time. I don’t take sides in their conflicts - I simply point out the possibility his dad has a point and I explain why. He insists the only reason his dad converted was because he’s looking for some sort of father figure and he found that in his priest, not because he really believes in what the Church teaches. I tried explaining that conversion isn’t necessary to benefit from knowing a priest - my husband has found a father figure in my parish priest yet remains Protestant - but my friend will have none of this. That’s not the only reason he walked away, but it’s a major one. I have made it clear I would always be here if he wanted to talk again, but that I cherish my faith and won’t back down from it, nor will I allow him to insult Holy Mother Church anymore (he periodically bangs pretty hard on the “all priests are pedophiles” drum) . So far, no response.

While it may seem I’m fortunate to only have lost one, the reason I haven’t lost more is that pretty much every atheist/agnostic/secular friend I’ve ever made vanished from my life before this year. All of my recently-made friends are Catholic; most are members of my parish.

 

[Steadfast_love]

This year? None, but I’m happy to finaly have enough kids (four under age 6) to qualify as a punchline to jokes about faithful Catholics.

That said my wife and I haven’t gone to any family events this year because of the anticipated stress of defending the faith while pregnant or nursing.

 

[sacred_words]

It’s pretty rare to lose a friend simply for joining the Catholic Church. It usually ends up being over a specific issue. For example, the good friend that I lost stopped speaking to me because I told her that I believed the Church was a gift from God and I quote the scripture which says the gates of hell will not prevail agaisnt it. She is really struggling with this because she has joined a “church that is not a church” and she believes that all churches are evil and corrupt and are leading Christians to hell. The other person will not speak to me because I talked back to her after she accused my religion multiple times of hating women. She said she had no idea how intolerant I was.

I probably should’ve been a bit clearer. What you describe is what i’m afraid is going to happen. A friend of mine hates religion unless it’s something she agrees with, but even though she’s gotten a lot better about it in recent times, there’s still a part of me that’s fearing for what may be inevitable.

 

[Allegra]

I probably should’ve been a bit clearer. What you describe is what i’m afraid is going to happen. A friend of mine hates religion unless it’s something she agrees with, but even though she’s gotten a lot better about it in recent times, there’s still a part of me that’s fearing for what may be inevitable.

It probably isn’t what you want to hear, but if it’s inevitable, it’s inevitable. However, people do surprise you. You might be amazed at how loyal some of your friends actually are. You may end up being a witness to her.

 

[Hallam]

In the two years since my joining the Church, i have found meself somewhat deserted by people who i consider friends. One friend came by and hasn’t spoken to me since. Think the statue of the Blessed Mother must’ve spooked him as he went upstairs to the bathroom (the statue’s in the bedroom, not the bathoom!)
I got one friend left, who’s an agnostic/atheist, who pops round every so often to put his mark in. Strangely, he always ends up wanting to borrow money off me whenever he does come round. We discuss my conversion but he seems to respect it. Mind you, he’s been involved with a filipino lady through an internet relationship, and she’s a Catholic, which i think makes him that bit more tolerant.
I dreaded telling family members. It caused me much anxiety. However, i never told me Mum because she was dying of cancer at the time and i reckoned she had enough on her plate at the time. Me Dad died in 98 way before God entered me life. On me Confirmation i had no one there with me, just me sponsor (who’s since left the Faith). As i stood with the priest that Vigil Mass, all i could think is how much i wish my parents had been there.
Bizarrely, my biggest ally has been me elder brother, with whom i got closer to than ever during me Mum’s cancer, despite keeping each other at arm’s length for many years. Turns out his wife is a lapsed Catholic and he’s been brilliant. I’ve another brother who is a gay and he’s ok about me choice of religion- we just don’t talk about it much.
The rest of the family appear when they want something or need someone to whinge to about whatever melodrama is occurring in their lives, because i’ve been through so much and can be a good listener. Life’s very solitary. But i’m not alone.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

I have not “lost” any friends or family members because of being a faithful Catholic. What has happened is that I have changed and the people that I hang out with, for the most part, have not.

It like a dance, at one time we were all doing the same steps, then I learned a new dance. I tried to share it with them, but some felt it too complicated, some liked the dance they were doing and didn’t want to change, and others were mad at me for upsetting the rhythm. So a decision had to be made, continue to do my new dance with partners who don’t know the steps and end up with bruised & battered feet, or find some new partners.