How many of you are married to a non-Catholic spouse?

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Default How many of you are married to a non-Catholic spouse?

Catholics-are you married to a non-Catholic spouse? Does it cause any tension/frustration/sorrow in your marriage? What religion is your spouse?Does your spouse attend Mass with you? Do you pray with your spouse? Are you raising your children (if any) Catholic? Is your spouse practicing/devout in his/her religion or somewhat indifferent? Does your spouse attend a separate church?

Yes, I married a non-Catholic spouse when we were both 18.

We have always had a lot of tension in our relationship but when I reverted back to Catholicism in my 40’s I have frustration, tension, and lots of sorrow.

He was baptized Episcopalian but his family quit going to church when he was about 5 yrs. old. He is not religious.

No, DH will never go into any Church. I go alone since my two boys are grown and on their own.

No, We don’t pray together because dh will not ever pray.
 
I used to think I would never marry a non-Catholic, but after dating and almost marrying a Catholic who I fought with constantly over the religion we supposedly shared, I considered other options.

**Catholics-are you married to a non-Catholic spouse? **Yes, sort of. I married according to the laws of the church. (We recieved the disparity of cult permission in order to hace a Catholic Wedding)

**Does it cause any tension/frustration/sorrow in your marriage?**No. It did cause some while we were dating because that was the beginning of his conversion and he was fighting it sometimes. It also causes some very mild occassional in-law drama related to my husband’s very gradual conversion. I have reason to believe it is possible that after our baby is born it could exaccerbate some of this inlaw/religion issues, or magically make it better, who knows. Anyway I would say religion has been a source of joy and strength, not frustration or sorrow in our marriage

**What religion is your spouse?**The most accurate descriptor would be unbaptized Catholic, but it wasn’t always so. When I met he thought he was an atheist (until I corrected him and told him that from what he has been saying he was really either an agnostic or just apathetic) His parents are one non-practicing Baptist and one atheist. They decided he should decide for himself and did not raise him as anything, which of course resulted in him having the same obnoxious opinions as the popular media. Between me and a very influential musician who lived upstairs, he came around to Christianity and eventually Catholicism, just can’t get him into RCIA.
**
Does your spouse attend Mass with you? **Yes. Every Sunday and on Holy Days of Obligation.

**Do you pray with your spouse? **We say grace together and occasionally have spontaneous prayer or say a rosary together (him asking me to teach him the rosary made me sooooo happy. I always wanted someone to say it with) Other than at meals we do not have a regular routine of prayer together, but I am very interested in developing that.
**
Are you raising your children (if any) Catholic?**Without question.

**Is your spouse practicing/devout in his/her religion or somewhat indifferent?**Practicing Catholicism, but cannot recieve sacraments.
**
Does your spouse attend a separate church?**No.
 
I got married when I was 19 to a non-Catholic. At the time it didn’t seem like that big of a deal to us…but now as we have gotten older both of us would have given some advice to our younger selves.

Thankfully my wife converted to become a Catholic several years before we had kids. She later told me that before we even became married that when the priest told her that one of the requirements of getting married in a Catholic Church is that we would be open to having children and that they would be raised as Catholics she knew that someday she would convert.

I can’t imagine what it would be like to raise children in a split denomination family…especially if both people were very devout in their own religions. We know several people at our Church who go to Church separate from their spouse. I always feel bad for them when I see them sitting there by themselves…they seem to be okay with it…but it does look like only a half a person is sitting there.

Same issue when kids come in to the picture. I have a friend who is a devout Catholic…his wife is a “sometimes” Presbyterian…and when the Catholic goes to Church on Sunday it is becoming increasingly more difficult to get his daughter to go with him “since mom doesn’t have to go”. They finally came to the agreement that she would go to Church with him as an example to their daughters would they are raising a Catholics.

While dual religion marriages seem to work…they have some aditional challenges that single religion families don’t have to deal with.
 
I am married to a non-baptisied person for 24 year in June. I could not find a catholic women to marry. I was born deaf. have only 20 percent of my hearing. Hearing aids get me by and I don’t sign(not politly:D). I am an expert lip reader. All the catholic girl in my parish would not marry me because they were afraid that our kids would turn out deaf like me. so I looked elsewhere. I met my wife though a dating service in the mid 80’s before the internet took off. we dated for three years before we were married. Have three healthy boys with no hearing problems.(my wife says that they still have selective hearing;)).

Now I did not know that you had to have permission from the church to marry outside the faith. And we could not get married in the church because she had been married before. We did not have an annullment because her first husband stake her and tried to kill her. We did inquire but the church wanted to interview her ex. She did not want him to know where she was or that she was getting married again. But the church said that this is the way they do things and did not care if he found her again. so we didn’t get it done.

all three boys are baptised catholic and we tried to send them to catholic schools, but once people found out that my wife was not catholic, it just made things very tough for my wife and I and all three boys. We even went to Mass every sunday, but it just didn’t work out. Today, all three boy do not go to church. I stop going after my father, sister and mother died in that order within the last 8 year. I am the last of my family. I am ok with this as I knew I would be the last.(nine year difference between my sister and I)

I have tried but have failed as a catholic. so be it. everyone will either ignore this or tell me that am a terrible person. don’t care anymore. I do love my wife and will stay married to her till death parts us.
 
My husband had no religion when we met or dated. After our engagement he decided to become Catholic - I didn’t ask him to, nor was I planning on asking him. I attended his RCIA classes with him and learned a lot more about the Catholic faith, or at least remembered learning most of it 15 years ago. He had his baptism, 1st communion and confirmation during the same Mass in front of me and we were married exactly three months after that.
 
USS_Nostromo said:
I am married to a non-baptisied person for 24 year in June. I could not find a catholic women to marry. I was born deaf. have only 20 percent of my hearing. Hearing aids get me by and I don’t sign(not politly:D). I am an expert lip reader. All the catholic girl in my parish would not marry me because they were afraid that our kids would turn out deaf like me. so I looked elsewhere. I met my wife though a dating service in the mid 80’s before the internet took off. we dated for three years before we were married. Have three healthy boys with no hearing problems.(my wife says that they still have selective hearing;)).

Now I did not know that you had to have permission from the church to marry outside the faith. And we could not get married in the church because she had been married before. We did not have an annullment because her first husband stake her and tried to kill her. We did inquire but the church wanted to interview her ex. She did not want him to know where she was or that she was getting married again. But the church said that this is the way they do things and did not care if he found her again. so we didn’t get it done.

all three boys are baptised catholic and we tried to send them to catholic schools, but once people found out that my wife was not catholic, it just made things very tough for my wife and I and all three boys. We even went to Mass every sunday, but it just didn’t work out. Today, all three boy do not go to church. I stop going after my father, sister and mother died in that order within the last 8 year. I am the last of my family. I am ok with this as I knew I would be the last.(nine year difference between my sister and I)

I have tried but have failed as a catholic. so be it. everyone will either ignore this or tell me that am a terrible person. don’t care anymore. I do love my wife and will stay married to her till death parts us.
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Hi, thanks for answering. Why on earth would anyone tell you that you are a terrible person? I’m sorry you have had bad experiences with the Church. It is my understanding that in annulment cases, the ex-spouse does NOT always have to be contacted. If you still wish to have your marriage regularized, you should contact another parish and explain the situation.
 
Hi, thanks for answering. Why on earth would anyone tell you that you are a terrible person? I’m sorry you have had bad experiences with the Church. It is my understanding that in annulment cases, the ex-spouse does NOT always have to be contacted. If you still wish to have your marriage regularized, you should contact another parish and explain the situation.

That is the diocese postion on the annulment, not the parish.
 
I’m a recent convert. My husband is non-practicing nondenominational. Our daughter goes to church with me, but isn’t baptized. Perhaps someday. We don’t pray together. I think if I were to insist on our 11yrold going through RCIA, he might have a cow, but he doesn’t care what I do. It is discouraging, but I pray that he will someday come to see the beauty in the Mass. Also, he did attend my baptism and that meant a lot to me.
 
anp1215 said:
Catholics-are you married to a non-Catholic spouse?

Yes

Does it cause any tension/frustration/sorrow in your marriage?

at times.I would love to go to church with him every weekend and pray together. But i knew he was Jewish from the day we met,i never wanted him to convert unless he wanted to,and ive always respected our differences in religion. BUT it does get lonely at times.

What religion is your spouse?

Jewish

Does your spouse attend Mass with you?

He did every weekend for 2 years. He doesnt anymore.

Do you pray with your spouse?

we never prayed together-jointly,even when we were very into the faith.
we prayed separately at the same time.

Are you raising your children (if any) Catholic?

We are.

Is your spouse practicing/devout in his/her religion or somewhat indifferent?

He isnt practicing Judaism anymore,but he is thinking about it again.

Does your spouse attend a separate church?

Nope
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I am Catholic married to a Grec Orthodox wife born to a Catholic mother and we are practicising catholic faith.
 
**Catholics-are you married to a non-Catholic spouse? ** Well, I know this addressed to a Catholics; however, I thought I’d chime in anyways. I am the non-Catholic spouse.

Does it cause any tension/frustration/sorrow in your marriage? No. It did briefly when we were planning our wedding. Looking back on it, I don’t think it was the Catholicism as much as family tensions. We ended up marrying at the courthouse, and had a small convalidation ceremony a few months later.

What religion is your spouse? I was raised a Southern Baptist, but I’m in RCIA now.

Does your spouse attend Mass with you? Yes. I have attended mass with my husband since the early stages of dating. I knew early on I would marry him one day, and that our children will be raised Catholic. It was and is important to me that we attend religious services together. He would go to Protestant services with me, if I felt the need to go to services outside the Catholic faith.

Do you pray with your spouse? Yes.

Are you raising your children (if any) Catholic? Without question.

Is your spouse practicing/devout in his/her religion or somewhat indifferent? I was bordering on Deistic beliefs when I met my husband. I fully believe God brought him into my life to bring me back to the Christian faith. Even though I was baptized in a Baptist church, I have always felt that Christianity is Christianity, regardless of denomination. So, yes, I am devout in Christianity.

Does your spouse attend a separate church? No, I do not.
 
Catholics-are you married to a non-Catholic spouse?

Yes, but he’s currently in RCIA–after 20 years of marriage! Woo hoo!

Does it cause any tension/frustration/sorrow in your marriage?

Yes, it has caused great difficulties, but hardest issue was our conversion to NFP. He still is not in agreement with NFP even though he’s in RCIA.

I’ve had much, much sorrow that we were not of one mind in our religion. And, I’ve serious anxiety about how having a nonCatholic dad would effect my kids.

What religion is your spouse?

Prior to our marriage, he was reared as a nominal Methodist–Christmas and Easter attendance with a few vbs thrown in.

Does your spouse attend Mass with you?

Yes, but for many years, I attended alone or with the kids. It has been a gradual move to attending with us. Now, he even goes by himself if he can’t with us due to work commitments.

Do you pray with your spouse?

yes, but not as much as I’d like.

Are you raising your children (if any) Catholic?

yes, my husband has been very supportive of our Catholic practices, even going to Adoration biweekly for several years, praying the family rosary, and accompanying the boys on retreats.

Is your spouse practicing/devout in his/her religion or somewhat indifferent?

he was completely indifferent.

Does your spouse attend a separate church?

no.
 
maryjk said:
**Catholics-are you married to a non-Catholic spouse?
**Yes, I am. Although the Catholic church claims him, he doesn’t claim them. He was Baptized Catholic, but his parents never attended Mass.
Does it cause any tension/frustration/sorrow in your marriage? Not really. He is very respectful of my faith.

What religion is your spouse? He isn’t. He is an atheist.

Does your spouse attend Mass with you? ** Special events, Christmas Eve and Easter Vigil.
**
Do you pray with your spouse? No, but he is sometimes there when I pray.

**Are you raising your children (if any) Catholic? ** Of course. My husband will even make sure our son gets to Mass when I can’t be there.

Is your spouse practicing/devout in his/her religion or somewhat indifferent? Does your spouse attend a separate church? No, he is not a believer.

Anyway, I just wondered what your experiences were in being married to a non-Catholic.

I was not a practicing Catholic when we met. In fact, we lived together then were married by a judge.
I feel sorry for my husband. I am not the woman he married way back then. 😊 Since then I reverted, big time. I even work for our parish.
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Hey! This could be my story! Only my husband was not baptized into any religion. At all. I too am not who he met/married then.
 
dailey said:
My husband is not Catholic. He is a “non-practicing Christian”.🤷 He goes to church with me and our children but never talks about God. I would not be surprised if he didn’t even believe in HIM. I am raising our children Catholic…I would have it NO OTHER WAY. I pray for him and have even given him a green scapular. I feel like he will see the errors of his ways one day…just hoping its sooner than later. It causes a lot of stress in the marriage because he hates the fact that we are not to used ABC. I wish I had a strong Catholic man that I could lean on, talk to, etc…But like my priest said, “You married him!” :o 😛
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I count myself so very fortunate that my husband does not object to NFP. He even went to the last NFP class with me. I am so thankful for that. Even though he is not Catholic I still love him so much and am happy he loves the Catholic faith even though he does not claim it. Thanks for answering.
ChrisRedfield47 said:
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=623152
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???
LovePatience said:
Perhaps learning about the Lanciano Eucharistic miracle would help! The monk doubted as well so Christ performed a miracle for him.

The Eucharistic Miracle of Lanciano surviving to this day, and studied in a journal recognized by the US National Library of Medicine, National Institutes of Health. Quad Sclavo Diagn. 1971 Sep;7(3):661-74.
[Histological, immunological and biochemiccal studies on the flesh and blood of the eucharistic miracle of Lanciano (8th century)]. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/4950729
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The other night we had a long talk about the real Presence and I think we are making progress. Telling him about the miracle does not help. He just does not believe it. 🤷
USS_Nostromo said:
Hi, thanks for answering. Why on earth would anyone tell you that you are a terrible person? I’m sorry you have had bad experiences with the Church. It is my understanding that in annulment cases, the ex-spouse does NOT always have to be contacted. If you still wish to have your marriage regularized, you should contact another parish and explain the situation.

That is the diocese postion on the annulment, not the parish.
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Hmm, never heard of that.
 
I am so glad this thread was started. I will post my answers to the questions then give a little insight:

Are you married to a non-Catholic Spouse? Yes

Does it cause tension/frustration/sorrow in your marriage? All of them at one time or another

What religion is your spouse? Non-denomination Pentecostal

Does your spouse attend Mass with you? Yes

Do you pray with your spouse? Infrequently

Are you raising your children Catholic? We married after both of us lost our spouses to cancer and both had children. Mine were raised Catholic, hers was raised non-denominational. The youngest is 17 years old.

Is your spouse practicing/devout in her religion? Very

Does your spouse attend a separate church? Yes

Here’s our story. We met at a spouse loss grief group after both losing our spouses to cancer within a month of each other. I am a cradle Catholic, my wife was raised Catholic but left the Church. Before we started dating I saw her at orientation at the Catholic high school where I was sending my kids so I was thinking she must be Catholic. After we started dating we discussed our faith and she told me she wasn’t Catholic and believed that all denominations of Christainity were equal and she did not have a problem with Catholicism but didn’t agree with all of our “rules”. She is incredibly devout in her faith and I decided we could make it work. As time has gone on I realize she has more issues with the Church than was at first thought. I try to correct her misconceptions about the faith but even when backed up with the biblical evidence she will not acknowledge the Church’s teachings. Granted I am not the best apologist but I am able to defend the faith. The single biggest issue I have is that she insists on receiving communion at Mass. I have told her multiple times she is not allowed to receive and as a former Catholic she knows this but her attitude is no can tell her she is not worthy to receive the Eucharist. She does not believe in the true presence. I am wondering if any of you have faced this problem and how did you handle it. The only thing I can think of, short of physically restraining her, is to attend Mass at the same time she attends services at her church. This would cause hard feelings as she feels it is her duty to attend Mass with me but I don’t see any other way to avoid letting her commit this mortal sin that she will not acknowledge. Another issue she disagrees with is birth control and she went so far as to put my 17 year old daughter, who she found out was sexually active, on birth control against my wishes and without telling me. Thanks for letting me tell my story, I love my wife and believe in the sacremental nature of marriage but these are huge challenges for me.
 
HLH said:
I am so glad this thread was started. I will post my answers to the questions then give a little insight:

Are you married to a non-Catholic Spouse? Yes

Does it cause tension/frustration/sorrow in your marriage? All of them at one time or another

What religion is your spouse? Non-denomination Pentecostal

Does your spouse attend Mass with you? Yes

Do you pray with your spouse? Infrequently

Are you raising your children Catholic? We married after both of us lost our spouses to cancer and both had children. Mine were raised Catholic, hers was raised non-denominational. The youngest is 17 years old.

Is your spouse practicing/devout in her religion? Very

Does your spouse attend a separate church? Yes

Here’s our story. We met at a spouse loss grief group after both losing our spouses to cancer within a month of each other. I am a cradle Catholic, my wife was raised Catholic but left the Church. Before we started dating I saw her at orientation at the Catholic high school where I was sending my kids so I was thinking she must be Catholic. After we started dating we discussed our faith and she told me she wasn’t Catholic and believed that all denominations of Christainity were equal and she did not have a problem with Catholicism but didn’t agree with all of our “rules”. She is incredibly devout in her faith and I decided we could make it work. As time has gone on I realize she has more issues with the Church than was at first thought. I try to correct her misconceptions about the faith but even when backed up with the biblical evidence she will not acknowledge the Church’s teachings. Granted I am not the best apologist but I am able to defend the faith. The single biggest issue I have is that she insists on receiving communion at Mass. I have told her multiple times she is not allowed to receive and as a former Catholic she knows this but her attitude is no can tell her she is not worthy to receive the Eucharist. She does not believe in the true presence. I am wondering if any of you have faced this problem and how did you handle it. The only thing I can think of, short of physically restraining her, is to attend Mass at the same time she attends services at her church. This would cause hard feelings as she feels it is her duty to attend Mass with me but I don’t see any other way to avoid letting her commit this mortal sin that she will not acknowledge. Another issue she disagrees with is birth control and she went so far as to put my 17 year old daughter, who she found out was sexually active, on birth control against my wishes and without telling me. Thanks for letting me tell my story, I love my wife and believe in the sacremental nature of marriage but these are huge challenges for me.
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Hi, thank you for answering and I’m glad you liked the thread! These are unfortunate problems you are having, it makes me sad when others do not respect the Church’s teachings on receiving Communion. You can think whatever you want about the Church, but I think I have more respect for a militant atheist who respects our teachings and does not try to receive Eucharist than a lukewarm lapsed Catholic who ignores the teachings even though they know them.

I would be so upset about the birth control thing! She had no right to do that to your child without your knowledge.

I’m sorry I have no advice but I’m sorry about your problems.
 
HLH said:
I am so glad this thread was started. I will post my answers to the questions then give a little insight:

. The single biggest issue I have is that she insists on receiving communion at Mass. I have told her multiple times she is not allowed to receive and as a former Catholic she knows this but her attitude is no can tell her she is not worthy to receive the Eucharist. She does not believe in the true presence. I am wondering if any of you have faced this problem and how did you handle it. .
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Hi HLH do you and your wife have a regular parish you attend at? If so have a sit down with the parish priest and discuse thi issue.

i guess you may have choose between “ratting” her out or going at a different time.
 
HLH said:
I am so glad this thread was started. I will post my answers to the questions then give a little insight:

Are you married to a non-Catholic Spouse? Yes

Does it cause tension/frustration/sorrow in your marriage? All of them at one time or another

What religion is your spouse? Non-denomination Pentecostal

Does your spouse attend Mass with you? Yes

Do you pray with your spouse? Infrequently

Are you raising your children Catholic? We married after both of us lost our spouses to cancer and both had children. Mine were raised Catholic, hers was raised non-denominational. The youngest is 17 years old.

Is your spouse practicing/devout in her religion? Very

Does your spouse attend a separate church? Yes

Here’s our story. We met at a spouse loss grief group after both losing our spouses to cancer within a month of each other. I am a cradle Catholic, my wife was raised Catholic but left the Church. Before we started dating I saw her at orientation at the Catholic high school where I was sending my kids so I was thinking she must be Catholic. After we started dating we discussed our faith and she told me she wasn’t Catholic and believed that all denominations of Christainity were equal and she did not have a problem with Catholicism but didn’t agree with all of our “rules”. She is incredibly devout in her faith and I decided we could make it work. As time has gone on I realize she has more issues with the Church than was at first thought. I try to correct her misconceptions about the faith but even when backed up with the biblical evidence she will not acknowledge the Church’s teachings. Granted I am not the best apologist but I am able to defend the faith. The single biggest issue I have is that she insists on receiving communion at Mass. I have told her multiple times she is not allowed to receive and as a former Catholic she knows this but her attitude is no can tell her she is not worthy to receive the Eucharist. She does not believe in the true presence. I am wondering if any of you have faced this problem and how did you handle it. The only thing I can think of, short of physically restraining her, is to attend Mass at the same time she attends services at her church. This would cause hard feelings as she feels it is her duty to attend Mass with me but I don’t see any other way to avoid letting her commit this mortal sin that she will not acknowledge. Another issue she disagrees with is birth control and she went so far as to put my 17 year old daughter, who she found out was sexually active, on birth control against my wishes and without telling me. Thanks for letting me tell my story, I love my wife and believe in the sacremental nature of marriage but these are huge challenges for me.
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WOW…
I’m sorry but your wife has some nerve! :mad: I cringe to think of what I would do if I found out someone, let alone my spouse, put my child on birth control. This makes me so sad.
 
anp1215 said:
Catholics-are you married to a non-Catholic spouse? Does it cause any tension/frustration/sorrow in your marriage? What religion is your spouse?Does your spouse attend Mass with you? Do you pray with your spouse? Are you raising your children (if any) Catholic? Is your spouse practicing/devout in his/her religion or somewhat indifferent? Does your spouse attend a separate church?
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I met my wife in Japan (she is Japanese) while I was a fallen-away Protestant. We were married in 2002. She being a typical non-practicing Buddhist/Shintoist, it didn’t cause any problems when I went through RCIA in 2010. She has let me take my two young sons to Mass a few times, which they find boring, so I haven’t pursued the thought about raising them Catholic. I think that would be pushing it too far with my wife at this point.

It’s not that my wife “wears the pants,” but with my interest in joining the Knights of Columbus (I’ll join next month) and getting more and more involved with my parish, I don’t want to rock the boat any harder at this point. Gradually, and in God’s time, my wife and kids will come around. I believe it.

It causes me sorrow because, at this point, my wife has no interest at all in religion in general. She sees all of the tension and wars caused by religion and wants no part of any faith.

When I was confirmed, a good friend of mine gave me a prayer card of St. Rita. Rita went through a similar situation, didn’t give up, and her spouse was converted! I believe St. Rita chose me. (That may sound corny and superstitious, but I believe it.) I have recently watched a really good movie based on her life. It’s put out by Ignatius Press.

My wife has Buddhist amulets around the house and Shinto good-luck charms, but she doesn’t mind my putting a cross above our bed or a crucifix in the spare bedroom. (Japanese people tend to be pretty indifferent to religion.)

It’s hard, and I pray daily for my wife and sons to be Catholic so we can do everything together at church instead of my being a “solo” member of my parish.

Ask St. Rita to intercede for you! I will keep you in my prayers.

Topaz 🙂
 
Catholics-are you married to a non-Catholic spouse? I’m born Catholic and my husband’s family didn’t practice any religion. He converted to LDS for his first wife. He considers himself agnostic now and doesn’t practice any religion.

Does it cause any tension/frustration/sorrow in your marriage? Some. As my faith deepens, I wish I could share it with my husband.

What religion is your spouse? Baptized LDS (Mormon) which isn’t recognized by the Catholic Church. He is agnostic now.

Does your spouse attend Mass with you? No.

Do you pray with your spouse? No.

Are you raising your children (if any) Catholic? Yes. Hubby “stood up” with us when DD was baptized, he supported her efforts in Reconciliation and First Communion. He supports my efforts to get her a Catholic education and would pay for a private Catholic school if we had one in the area. Our marriage was blessed by a Catholic priest.

Is your spouse practicing/devout in his/her religion or somewhat indifferent? My husband’s only religion is what he calls “The Church of the NFL”, lol.

Does your spouse attend a separate church? No.
 
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