How many of you are married to a non-Catholic spouse?

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I am a Catholic and was married to my Orthodox Christian wife in a Protestant (Anglican) church with full dispensation from our respective churches. We have a wonderful relationship and never had problems. She joins me at times for Rosary but is not interested in daily mass. We are regular for Catholic Sunday mass and I’ve also attended Sunday mass at the Orthodox church a few times.

My protestant mother-in-law lives with us and we have had no problems at all and pastors of all three churches and also others (Pentacostal) visit us and we share each others views without difficulty. We never ever objected to any priest praying at our home or blessing us.
 
Pitcharan said:
I am a Catholic and was married to my Orthodox Christian wife in a Protestant (Anglican) church with full dispensation from our respective churches. We have a wonderful relationship and never had problems. She joins me at times for Rosary but is not interested in daily mass. We are regular for Catholic Sunday mass and I’ve also attended Sunday mass at the Orthodox church a few times.

My protestant mother-in-law lives with us and we have had no problems at all and pastors of all three churches and also others (Pentacostal) visit us and we share each others views without difficulty. We never ever objected to any priest praying at our home or blessing us.
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That’s fantiastic! It’s inspiring to hear stories like yours. 🙂

Luna
 
Topaz1128 said:
I met my wife in Japan (she is Japanese) while I was a fallen-away Protestant. We were married in 2002. She being a typical non-practicing Buddhist/Shintoist, it didn’t cause any problems when I went through RCIA in 2010. She has let me take my two young sons to Mass a few times, which they find boring, so I haven’t pursued the thought about raising them Catholic. I think that would be pushing it too far with my wife at this point.

It’s not that my wife “wears the pants,” but with my interest in joining the Knights of Columbus (I’ll join next month) and getting more and more involved with my parish, I don’t want to rock the boat any harder at this point. Gradually, and in God’s time, my wife and kids will come around. I believe it.

It causes me sorrow because, at this point, my wife has no interest at all in religion in general. She sees all of the tension and wars caused by religion and wants no part of any faith.

When I was confirmed, a good friend of mine gave me a prayer card of St. Rita. Rita went through a similar situation, didn’t give up, and her spouse was converted! I believe St. Rita chose me. (That may sound corny and superstitious, but I believe it.) I have recently watched a really good movie based on her life. It’s put out by Ignatius Press.

My wife has Buddhist amulets around the house and Shinto good-luck charms, but she doesn’t mind my putting a cross above our bed or a crucifix in the spare bedroom. (Japanese people tend to be pretty indifferent to religion.)

It’s hard, and I pray daily for my wife and sons to be Catholic so we can do everything together at church instead of my being a “solo” member of my parish.

Ask St. Rita to intercede for you! I will keep you in my prayers.

Topaz 🙂
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Thank you so much. I did not know that about St. Rita. I will start asking her to intercede for me.
 
anp1215 said:
Catholics-are you married to a non-Catholic spouse? Does it cause any tension/frustration/sorrow in your marriage? What religion is your spouse?Does your spouse attend Mass with you? Do you pray with your spouse? Are you raising your children (if any) Catholic? Is your spouse practicing/devout in his/her religion or somewhat indifferent? Does your spouse attend a separate church?
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My wife has no religion, and I suspect thinks that religion is a waste of time. She stays at home while I attend Mass with my son.
It does cause me sorrow and tension in the relationship. I pray that she will come to know God one day.
My children are baptised in the Catholic Church and will be brought up Catholic.
 
I was married to a non-Catholic spouse. She believed abortion was perfectly acceptable, contraception was perfectly acceptable*, and having sex with other people people was perfectly acceptable (*she actually had a legitimate reason to be on the pill, though she utterly refused to have children anyway).

I’m glad those days are over. I am now married to a faithful Catholic wife.
 
I was intrigued by this thread because, though my husband and I are both practicing Catholics, my parents were not. My mother was Catholic, my father was not. So, here is my experience, some 60 years after my parents’ wedding (in a Catholic church):

Are you married to a non-Catholic Spouse? See above

Does it cause tension/frustration/sorrow in your marriage? Yes. At times I recall my parents fighting and the faith issue entered into the mix.

What religion is your spouse? Nominally Lutheran but nonpracticing. At best agnostic, at worst, atheist.

Does your spouse attend Mass with you? Only on special occasions, such as First Communions, weddings and funerals (years ago, he’d attend if it was part of a family holiday celebration and there was no easy way for him to get out of it.)

Do you pray with your spouse? My parents never ever prayed together.

Are you raising your children Catholic? My sister and I were both raised Catholic – I’m more serious about it than she is.

Is your spouse practicing/devout in her religion? Not at all.

Does your spouse attend a separate church? No.

However, I responded to this thread to give you a peek at what can happen:

My mother prayed for my father’s conversion every day of her life, even though the priest that married them warned her to never try to convert him. (If she ever did my father would say, “Remember what the priest said!”). The last week of his life, he was in a coma and he never gave any indication of any change in his faith life.

However, and I firmly believe these were all in answer to my mother’s prayers:

When he died, he had a Miraculous Medal in his hands.

Two priests came to give him last rites that last week in the hospital.

He passed away with his family at his side who had just finished prayer the Rosary and the Chaplet of Divine Mercy at the end of the 3 p.m. Hour of Mercy.

He died on the feast of St. Joseph, patron of the family, of the worker, and of a happy death.

He was permitted a Catholic funeral (the priest knew the circumstances).

He was buried in a Catholic cemetery.

So, if you’re troubled by your spouse’s being away from God and the Catholic faith, keep praying. You may be doing more than you will ever know in this life.
 
Catholics-are you married to a non-Catholic spouse?
No, a lapsed Catholic. We married when we were both lapsed, and then I came back home.

Does it cause any tension/frustration/sorrow in your marriage?
Only when he makes negative comments.

What religion is your spouse?
Lapsed Catholic. I’m actually not sure exactly what he believes.

Does your spouse attend Mass with you?
Yes, but sometimes he has a bad attitude about it.

Do you pray with your spouse?
No, I wasn’t raised with family prayer time, so I’ve never felt comfortable praying with other people.

Are you raising your children (if any) Catholic?
When we do have children, we will.

Is your spouse practicing/devout in his/her religion or somewhat indifferent?
Indifferent?

Does your spouse attend a separate church?
No.
 
Are you married to a non-Catholic Spouse? Yes.

Does it cause tension/frustration/sorrow in your marriage? Yes. MOre sorrow than anything now, but some tension because he is very hostile towards Christianity and makes fun of religion and of me for believing and going to church, praying, etc. I used to get very frustrated over it and things were more tense when I’d try to change his mind or get him to go to church with me.

What religion is your spouse? Athiest.

Does your spouse attend Mass with you? No.

Do you pray with your spouse? No.

Are you raising your children Catholic? Yes, but I am not sure how this will work as he gets older and picks up on his father’s remarks about God and religion.

Is your spouse practicing/devout in her religion? No. He has no religion to practice.

Does your spouse attend a separate church? No.
 
Finally found a thread to share my story, to answer the questions first:
Are you married to a non-Catholic Spouse?
Yes.

Does it cause tension/frustration/sorrow in your marriage?
to a certain extend, yes. come back to this point later.

What religion is your spouse?
Methodist. have not gone through baptism, not that it is important to them anyway.

Does your spouse attend Mass with you? A few times on special occasions, Christmas, my baptism.

Do you pray with your spouse?
used to.

Are you raising your children Catholic?
Do not have children yet. come back to this point later.

Is your spouse practicing/devout in her religion?
Yes. my in-laws are staunch Methodists, active in their church.

Does your spouse attend a separate church?
Yes.

We got married in her church, that time I was not baptised yet, but i already signed up for RCIA before we got married. Her parents were rather encouraging as well.
As I went through RCIA, my deacon told me you should raise your children as a catholic, is your wife ok with it. I remember that I had a talk with my wife regarding this, her reply was, “our children will be raised as a catholic only because you are the father.” I vividly remembered this sentence she said. I felt a little hurt. She will want to put the kids into a methodist school.
When i got baptised, my family and friends attended, as well as her parents. Religion was never brought up after I got baptised, only once when I joined their family church friends for lunch. Some were criticizing the Catholic Church. I did not want to pick up an argument with her parents friends so I just kept quiet about it.

a few questions I hope some of you could give me some advise:
What would you have done if you were in my situation? Would you defend your faith and risk offending your in-laws friends (1 even went to receive the Eucharist)? Not that I know the faith very well, I am still working on it. But when it comes to scriptures, protestants are good at it, that is all they have. :rolleyes:
Would you attend your spouse church service?

Another worry of mine is when we have kids, she will either bring the kids to her church or ask me to bring the kids to mass, or maybe bring the kids to go for both.
 
I would pick an option that is not in that poll - my husband and I were both devout Catholics when we married, and then my husband lost his faith several years later and is now agnostic.
 
This is a very old thread, with lots of posts by posters who aren’t following it any more.

Is there any chance y’all might start a new one?
 
I am a non-Catholic spouse. My wife is Catholic.
I go to Church with her but do not participate in any way. I feel like posing as a believer would be insulting. I attended RCIA with her cuz I like to learn. If I remember correctly, one of the worst sins you can commit against the Catholic Church is to take communion as a non-believer.
I think that you should seriously consider the possibility of him never changing his stance. I hope that my wife isn’t hoping I will one day change. I already went through the cycle of losing faith, and one rarely goes back.
One of the stipulations on us getting a Catholic wedding was that children are raised Catholic? I don’t believe in lying so she’ll be in charge of that. I’m not saying that this faith is a lie, I just won’t pose as a believer.
For the Church, my have been raised Catholic (baptised, confirmed, etc.) was enough.

Why am I here, you ask?
I am currently writing a paper on mixed-faith marriages for a class, so I don’t want to mislead you. I would appreciate any exchange and hope you found this respectful and interesting.
 
sanchristopher said:
I am a non-Catholic spouse. My wife is Catholic.
I go to Church with her but do not participate in any way. I feel like posing as a believer would be insulting. I attended RCIA with her cuz I like to learn. If I remember correctly, one of the worst sins you can commit against the Catholic Church is to take communion as a non-believer.
I think that you should seriously consider the possibility of him never changing his stance. I hope that my wife isn’t hoping I will one day change. I already went through the cycle of losing faith, and one rarely goes back.
One of the stipulations on us getting a Catholic wedding was that children are raised Catholic? I don’t believe in lying so she’ll be in charge of that. I’m not saying that this faith is a lie, I just won’t pose as a believer.
For the Church, my have been raised Catholic (baptised, confirmed, etc.) was enough.

Why am I here, you ask?
I am currently writing a paper on mixed-faith marriages for a class, so I don’t want to mislead you. I would appreciate any exchange and hope you found this respectful and interesting.
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I cannot speak on behalf of your wife, nor this community. But as a Catholic, i do hope that my spouse will join me in the Eucharist 1 day.
 
For what it’s worth, I’ve always heard that children tend to side with the father on these matters. It’s some sort of psychological tendency.

I don’t know much about Methodist practice but I would guess you wouldn’t be doing anything at that service that the Catholic Church would find objectionable as long as you go and get the Eucharist sometimes. I’m no expert so you might want to consult a priest on this matter.

You might bring up the fact, if it comes up again, that Catholicism is the oldest Christian Church set up by Christ himself. All others are just interpretations or adaptions by OTHERS in attempt to modernize.

If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your spouse’s normal reaction when you express the idea of wanting to share that with her?
 
sanchristopher said:
For what it’s worth, I’ve always heard that children tend to side with the father on these matters. It’s some sort of psychological tendency.

I don’t know much about Methodist practice but I would guess you wouldn’t be doing anything at that service that the Catholic Church would find objectionable as long as you go and get the Eucharist sometimes. I’m no expert so you might want to consult a priest on this matter.

You might bring up the fact, if it comes up again, that Catholicism is the oldest Christian Church set up by Christ himself. All others are just interpretations or adaptions by OTHERS in attempt to modernize.

If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your spouse’s normal reaction when you express the idea of wanting to share that with her?
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Actually I tend to think that kids will follow the mother on such matters, but then again I have made no surveys or research on this subject, probably culture plays a part on this as well.

I would think she would not dispute that fact, but she would argue that the Catholic Church contains practices that she and/or her family cannot accept.
And also the mass is boring. :rolleyes:

“share that with her?” what is that you are referring to? Sorry I got a bit lost on this, but what i can say is, religion is rarely brought up since i got baptised. I am probably more of a listener than a talker, so i am not too sure on how to bring this topic up as well.
 
Funny how this 2 year old thread is still open but my thread got locked.
 
I’m sorry. I was speaking of the Eucharist when I mentioned sharing. And beliefs in general.

If this makes you feel any better, my wife is a church-every-weekend Catholic and I am a born-again atheist. We’ve been married for two years and it’s not really a problem. Mutual respect is the key.
It sounds like you guys are a little closer in your beliefs.
Be thankful.

Thank you very much for sharing, Yoshiki.
 
sanchristopher said:
I’m sorry. I was speaking of the Eucharist when I mentioned sharing. And beliefs in general.

If this makes you feel any better, my wife is a church-every-weekend Catholic and I am a born-again atheist. We’ve been married for two years and it’s not really a problem. Mutual respect is the key.
It sounds like you guys are a little closer in your beliefs.
Be thankful.

Thank you very much for sharing, Yoshiki.
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I see, no need for apologies. 👍
Actually, i did not explicit say that i hope that she joins the Catholic Church, but i do ask her to join me for mass from time to time, which she mostly did not join.

I have been married for 2 years as well, while it is not really a problem now when we do not have kids, I am not too sure what happens when we do.

Thanks for listening, sanchristopher. :cool:
 
I married a Baptized Catholic woman who was not practicing when we met 25 years ago. Her parents basically walked away from the faith and did not take them to Mass, get them through their sacraments, etc. But, every other family member practices the faith including the grandparents who attended Mass daily.

With the other family in mind, I entered the marriage thinking I could revert all of them. It has been very rough. Holidays with her family are the worst of all. I take my children to Mass alone while they drink and party. There are no prayers. There are no symbols of Christ anywhere. Now my kids are realizing this and they are asking questions.

My Father in Law broke my heart when he told me he thought Christ was nothing more than a hippie.

I really struggle, but I consider this my cross. I must get my children through school and I still pray for all of them. I have considered leaving the marriage but I can’t leave my children.

Anyone who says it is easy being in a mixed marriage is delusional.

If children are involved, it is our obligation to raise them Catholic. We must teach them about the divinity of Christ and that Holy Communion is really the body and blood of Christ. The Eucharist is the summit of the Christian faith…
 
kevinbh said:
**Anyone who says it is easy being in a mixed marriage is delusional. **

If children are involved, it is our obligation to raise them Catholic. We must teach them about the divinity of Christ and that Holy Communion is really the body and blood of Christ. The Eucharist is the summit of the Christian faith…
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Thanks. You know nothing about me, but I am delusional.

You might want to read the rules of the forum. Name calling is against the rules.
 
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