I love the Traditional mass and it pained me for years not to be able to attend one. I was such big supporter of traditional Catholics even though I wasn’t active at a trad parish. Every week I dreaded going to the liberal Ordinary mass parishes that I attended with the guitars, altar girls, communion on the hand, etc… Then one fine day after years of waiting I was finally able to go to an Extraordinary form mass at a local FSSP community. This mass really blew me away. I stood in awe of hr reverence and devotion which permeated from every direction and I thanked God nightly that he had permitted me to see these things. I soon began to attend mass there weekly and it looked as if I was on my way to accomplishing my dream of being a full fledged trad Catholic.
Sadly however a snake was soon to enter my Eden in the form of the churches pastor. This guy was a real straight laced fellow who just annoyed the heck out of me with his extremist rhetoric. I tried as best as possible to ignore him and concentrate solely on the mass. This soon proved to be impossible considering that his sermons lasted almost 30 minutes (this was at a Solemn High mass to boot). He preached the most dark and disturbing version of Catholics that I have ever heard preached. Don;T get me wrong, I knew that trad Catholics preferred all the fire and brimstone that on could dish out at them in a Sunday sermon. However this priest really went overboard in the topics that he preached on as well as his bleak view that all but the most monkish devout were damned. There is actually a site were you can here these sermons as well called Audio Sancto.
It got so bad that despite having such a love for the Extraordinary mass I had to stop going to it because of the priest. His sermons were starting to cause psychical depression to overcome me. it sad to say cause I don’t consider myself a person who gets deeply disturbed over things. However If I was going to make such a sacrifice to get to this mass, I at least wanted some form of moderation and not extremism being thrown at me on an every Sunday basis (this would include such topics as “unmarried men shouldn’t look at women in the face, arranged marriages are a possibility for trads, people who talk too much are “mentally poor” and of course, : If you can’t live the most rigorous life of self denial and fleshly mortification then you have no business going to my mass on Sundays”).
I am now back going to a reverent Saturday night vigil mass at a local Carmelite parish. I just couldn’t take what I was hearing. For years I had defended trads and claimed to be one myself. I used to argue with my mother constantly about how they were misunderstood people who had been abused by the Church and they were not whack jobs who idolized Waco and Ruby Ridge. However after listening to this priest I have kind of come to the conclusion that those who tried to warn me about getting involved with the trad movement, even those in communion with Rome, may have been more right then I wanted to admit. I still love the old Latin mass and wish that I could faithfully go to one every week and on holy days. But never, never again will I darken the door of such a parish as this were such extremism and insanity of par the course for parishioners.
These sad events have caused somewhat of a depression in my life. I tell people that it’s almost like getting a divorce. For years I had so much wanted a TLM and when I finally got one, it was a complete disaster for me. I even tried to talk to other parishioners in a more subtle way to see what they thought of the priest. They all loved the guy! They actually wanted to here this depressing stuff every Sunday. Oh well, what else can one do but move on and pray for the best to await them?