How much does your family of origin affect your relationship with God?

  • Thread starter Thread starter DarkLight
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Are you female or male? My male friends agree with me about marriage but my female friends think marriage is great and wonderful.
Oh no, I’m male. I think the popular culture has it that men run from marriage while women embrace it. However, I am also fifty-five years old, which means that, while I am single, I have had time to observe many happy marriages amongst my friends. One friend just passed after having been married over sixty years, mainly happily so.
 
Right. I’ve noticed older people saying that marriages are great while younger people say it’s not that great. Maybe because older couples don’t cheat as much
 
Right. I’ve noticed older people saying that marriages are great while younger people say it’s not that great. Maybe because older couples don’t cheat as much
I think it’s far more than just the non-cheating aspect. Couples that have been in a happy and contented marriage for many years usually know one another well: one another’s foibles, interests, joys, etc are common knowledge. Also, as you age, to have a partner who really knows you better than anyone else and will always be there for you, whether you are happy or miserable, is an invaluable thing. Older people have seen the truth of this, I think, which is why they generally approve of marriage. And practically speaking, a widow/widower is eligible for Social Security benefits based on the deceased spouse’s work history, and sometimes for some or all of their private pension, as well. A ‘partner’, I.e. non-married, gets nothing. It may seem crass to point it out, but it’s not a negligible consideration, especially as one ages.
 
Maybe because older couples don’t cheat as much
Um, I’m here to tell you this is a complete myth.
Old people cheat all over the place. Seen it a million times including in some of my own family members (not mom and dad but other relatives).

Older people may be less likely to discuss their cheating spouse with the world, or more likely to hang in there and try to win the spouse back or put up with spouse’s behavior just because they have been together so long there are other benefits to being “the spouse” and also they have a pretty good understanding of how the other person behaves, thinks, does their life.

In today’s society there is an attitude that if somebody cheats even once it’s all over, done, finished, ruined, etc. In past decades, cheating was not always regarded as such a big deal breaker.
 
Again, that’s fine, that’s your choice, and it’s certainly not admirable behavior in any event.
Just pick a wife who’s on the same page with you about that and you’ll be fine.
 
Protestants are still christian. I figure marrying one is better than marrying an atheist. But not all Protestants are made equally. Be glad you found a good one
My husband is baptized protestant, but not even a believer in any sort of christian trinity. He helps me on my road to heaven, as he supports me with living my faith and questions me often enough so I get deeper into speaking for my faith. The reason is he´s a moral and loving husband, which is not necessary the same as a good believer.
 
To the OP:
I think I have sometimes problems with the father-son being of God, as I didn´t experienxed much bonding to my father (early divorce) and we got closer when I was an adult. It was a way easier for me to get close to Holy Mary, as I felt she would know my needs and pain as a woman - not as a daughter.
On the other hand, my priest and my catechesis teacher were some kind of father figures for me, which made it more easy to accept some rules or spiritual guidelines, I was happy to have a father then.
 
Last edited:
I like god as father because my dad wasn’t there for me. God is
 
I came from a home where I was physically and verbally abused by both my mother and my father at varying times in my life. My mother was an alcoholic and I was blamed for it by her and my father. I have scars from being beaten with things, and whenever my parents were fighting I was told that “We’re only married because she got pregnant with YOU.” and was also raised knowing I was an accident and that my mother nearly aborted me. I also watched my mother try to kill herself on several occasions (I was blamed) and she was in and out of jail and rehab.

They would tell me they loved me, but every time they said it I felt sick because I couldn’t reconcile love with the incredible fear I felt. I had learned not to love even myself so on an even more broken level, I couldn’t accept love from others.

Enter God. I am, to this day, trying to reconcile the loving God I know with the concept of “Father.” It’s something Jesus through the Holy Spirit is working so hard with me on. I have indeed “tasted and seen the goodness of the Lord” and I know he is good and I love him so much for all he has done for me. Not the least of which is the multitude of metaphors he gives us to know him by.

I don’t know the loving Father as he is…but Christ I know as the bridgegroom of the church. My husband has been a wonderful role model of Christ and his love for me. He has given me such love, acceptance, and peace and helped me heal in so many ways. He’s helped me find my self-worth enough in him that I can begin to look to Jesus as my husband as well. All love is of God, so spousal love is another great way to experience the love of God.
 
Last edited:
I like god as father because my dad wasn’t there for me. God is
For me, it was simply difficult to feel as child. I had to be responsible for my own mental needs with 13 and financially with 16. The time before is cloudy and not very present in my emotional life. I didn´t knew how to behave like a child, even as god´s child. Jesus as friend was far more understandable for me.
 
I don’t know the loving Father as he is…but Christ I know as the bridgegroom of the church. My husband has been a wonderful role model of Christ and his love for me. He has given me such love, acceptance, and peace and helped me heal in so many ways. He’s helped me find my self-worth enough in him that I can begin to look to Jesus as my husband as well. All love is of God, so spousal love is another great way to experience the love of God.
^^^^^This, so much. I understood so much more of the nature of love, the love of christ also, when I felt trust in my marriage.
 
I’ve heard it said, and can attest to it in my life, the relationship we have with our earthly father is how we will see our Heavenly Father.

My earthly father is forgiving and loving, I see God as forgiving and loving.
 
I like god as father because my dad wasn’t there for me. God is
Again, I have almost exactly the same situation. My mother contracted multiple sclerosis when I was four years old, and had other problems with drugs and alcohol, so I couldn’t count on her. When I was going through RCIA at the age of thirty-two, it was an immense relief to be able to look to the BVM as my own loving mother. To this day I am devoted to her, especially in her appearance as Our Lady of Fatima.
 
Yeah, I think it’s kinda difficult if you have misunderstandings with your parents but having someone outside your family to listen to you and to guide you will make a difference in your life. God provides for that.
 
Not all is fortunate to have a father like that. Maybe it is easy to understand God that way if you have one but not the only way to understand God.
 
My family has not affected my relationship with God (thankfully, they were abusive) BUT I have watched how it damaged my mother.

She was desperately abused by her father. She is distrustful and often afraid of God. She does not like to pray to him directly, she focuses very heavily on Jesus and she doesn’t believe in the Trinity because it comforts her to think Jesus is separate and not a ‘father’.

So yes, families can greatly change how we approach our relationship with God.
 
It is good that you see it that way. You can differentiate your earthly father and heavenly father. Oh what a relief!
 
Last edited:
My family has not affected my relationship with God (thankfully, they were abusive) BUT I have watched how it damaged my mother.

She was desperately abused by her father. She is distrustful and often afraid of God. She does not like to pray to him directly, she focuses very heavily on Jesus and she doesn’t believe in the Trinity because it comforts her to think Jesus is separate and not a ‘father’.

So yes, families can greatly change how we approach our relationship with God.
I have often given thanks that I was raised in an atheist household. When I realised, at the age of twenty-three and after much searching, that I believed in Christianity, I was virtually a tabula rasa, with no preconceived notions or biases to get in my way. I spent the next several years investigating every Christian denomination I could find, and was finally received into the Catholic faith just shy of my thirty-third birthday. Had I actually grown up, say, in a Baptist household, I could well have had major issues with Catholicism and might never have found my way to the Church. But perhaps that isn’t true. Certainly all things are possible with God.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top