How often is atheism a response to pain?

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In my experience, most atheists I know came to their views on religion following a tragedy, emotional trauma, or extreme outrage.

I have spoken with a man whose atheism seemed very much shaped by growing up in a family affected by the shock and horror of his uncle’s abuse by a priest, and the threat by a local bishop to the victim’s mother that the whole family would be excommunicated if the victim’s father reported the crime to the police.

I dated a woman whose faith seemed to be snuffed out by a tyrannical mother who called her a slut for coming in past curfew and a father who told her that he’d cut her off financially unless she remained Catholic. That same woman told me that she didn’t want to believe in God because it would commit her to believing other things that she didn’t want to believe either. Alas, I only discovered her atheism after we broke up!

On the other hand, I also have a good friend who grew up with two totally secular parents, and now doesn’t see any need for God in his life.

Overall, it seems to me that more people are moved to atheism by suffering than by rational reasoning alone. I think there are people whose faith becomes challenged by modern geology, biology, or astronomy. However, do you agree with me that personal or family suffering is more often a contributor to atheism than is a materialistic view of the world?
 
fnr said:
In my experience, most atheists I know came to their views on religion following a tragedy, emotional trauma, or extreme outrage.

I have spoken with a man whose atheism seemed very much shaped by growing up in a family affected by the shock and horror of his uncle’s abuse by a priest, and the threat by a local bishop to the victim’s mother that the whole family would be excommunicated if the victim’s father reported the crime to the police.

I dated a woman whose faith seemed to be snuffed out by a tyrannical mother who called her a slut for coming in past curfew and a father who told her that he’d cut her off financially unless she remained Catholic. That same woman told me that she didn’t want to believe in God because it would commit her to believing other things that she didn’t want to believe either. Alas, I only discovered her atheism after we broke up!

On the other hand, I also have a good friend who grew up with two totally secular parents, and now doesn’t see any need for God in his life.

Overall, it seems to me that more people are moved to atheism by suffering than by rational reasoning alone. I think there are people whose faith becomes challenged by modern geology, biology, or astronomy. However, do you agree with me that personal or family suffering is more often a contributor to atheism than is a materialistic view of the world?
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Interesting. I just saw Jennifer Fulwiler speak recently and she touched on this mentioning how most of the prominent new atheists have had some severe trauma in their life. Now, she qualified that, of course. Many people experience trauma and not all of them become atheists. And I’m sure there are atheists out there who have not experienced such trauma.

The larger point she was making is similar to yours, and that is that our emotions and experiences factor more heavily into our way of thinking than we often admit or realize. Too often, atheists like to paint their worldview as being the intelligent, completely objective, reason-based worldview in contrast to religion which is just there to make people feel good about themselves. But the truth is that emotion plays into everyone’s worldview. She cited some study of people who had experienced brain trauma of the emotional part of their brain. The one thing those people struggled with was decision making. Like it or not, our emotions play a huge role in the decisions that we make, which includes what we decide to believe about God, the world, and how the world came to be.
 
I don’t know; Atheism seem to be an easy way out of holding one’s self accountable to the Lord. I guess there are “true atheist” but who do most atheist call upon when sick and suffering or near death. It isn’t the guys from Ghost Busters is it.

There used to be a slogan that the Army could make a man or break a man. Pain, suffering or near death could have the same influence on the so called atheist. I don’t know the answer; I am just pondering on the subject. Peace.
 
fnr said:
In my experience, most atheists I know came to their views on religion following a tragedy, emotional trauma, or extreme outrage.

I have spoken with a man whose atheism seemed very much shaped by growing up in a family affected by the shock and horror of his uncle’s abuse by a priest, and the threat by a local bishop to the victim’s mother that the whole family would be excommunicated if the victim’s father reported the crime to the police.

I dated a woman whose faith seemed to be snuffed out by a tyrannical mother who called her a slut for coming in past curfew and a father who told her that he’d cut her off financially unless she remained Catholic. That same woman told me that she didn’t want to believe in God because it would commit her to believing other things that she didn’t want to believe either. Alas, I only discovered her atheism after we broke up!

On the other hand, I also have a good friend who grew up with two totally secular parents, and now doesn’t see any need for God in his life.

Overall, it seems to me that more people are moved to atheism by suffering than by rational reasoning alone. I think there are people whose faith becomes challenged by modern geology, biology, or astronomy. However, do you agree with me that personal or family suffering is more often a contributor to atheism than is a materialistic view of the world?
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It’s an interesting theory. And I’ve seen some people in my own life who fit your supposition. My aunt for example became an atheist in part as a response to my grandfather’s long suffering battle with Parkinson’s disease over 25 years and his inevitable death from the disease. My brother who is effectively an atheist as well drifted away from the Roman Catholic Church in part as a response to the abuses of priests (not abuse of him mind but abuse by them of others) that he served with as an altar boy.

But by the same token, I’ve acquaintances who are atheists for strictly rational reasons, or irrational depending on your POV. They’ve come to believe that people who believe in boogeymen in the sky or who believe there is anything after death are just deluding themselves to feel better about life/death or their own prejudices/bigotry/homophobia/etc… My uncle, married to my atheist aunt, would also fit into this category as he too drifted away from his Armenian Church but not due to any pain.

Plus as you mention, some are simply raised atheist/areligious and religion just isn’t a part of their life and never has been. My own wife I’d probably classify in with this group. While I often describe her as a “nothing in particular” she was raised by two 60’s Berkeley grads who didn’t want to impose any kind of religious structure on her and let her decide instead. And as such was not raised in any particular faith tradition even tangentially other than visiting a Lutheran church once or twice with her Grandma. And absent any formation in any faith she ultimately found no faith. I don’t know if I’d classify her as a hardcore atheist. She likes the idea of an afterlife, and she’s never had an issue with me going to church, baptizing our daughter, etc… even having come along to my church on occasion. But she’s never been an active participant, nor does she believe in anything Christians do.

So while I agree with your theory for some, I don’t think every atheist is necessarily an atheist due to some trauma. Some are simply for social/rational reasons unconnected to pain. And others are simply raised that way. The latter I think we’ll see more and more of as time goes on.
 
I don’t know about pain, but I believe most atheists I’ve spoken to are so because of the problem of evil.
 
Padres1969 said:
It’s an interesting theory. And I’ve seen some people in my own life who fit your supposition. My aunt for example became an atheist in part as a response to my grandfather’s long suffering battle with Parkinson’s disease over 25 years and his inevitable death from the disease. My brother who is effectively an atheist as well drifted away from the Roman Catholic Church in part as a response to the abuses of priests (not abuse of him mind but abuse by them of others) that he served with as an altar boy.

But by the same token, I’ve acquaintances who are atheists for strictly rational reasons, or irrational depending on your POV. They’ve come to believe that people who believe in boogeymen in the sky or who believe there is anything after death are just deluding themselves to feel better about life/death or their own prejudices/bigotry/homophobia/etc… My uncle, married to my atheist aunt, would also fit into this category as he too drifted away from his Armenian Church but not due to any pain.

Plus as you mention, some are simply raised atheist/areligious and religion just isn’t a part of their life and never has been. My own wife I’d probably classify in with this group. While I often describe her as a “nothing in particular” she was raised by two 60’s Berkeley grads who didn’t want to impose any kind of religious structure on her and let her decide instead. And as such was not raised in any particular faith tradition even tangentially other than visiting a Lutheran church once or twice with her Grandma. And absent any formation in any faith she ultimately found no faith. I don’t know if I’d classify her as a hardcore atheist. She likes the idea of an afterlife, and she’s never had an issue with me going to church, baptizing our daughter, etc… even having come along to my church on occasion. But she’s never been an active participant, nor does she believe in anything Christians do.

So while I agree with your theory for some, I don’t think every atheist is necessarily an atheist due to some trauma. Some are simply for social/rational reasons unconnected to pain. And others are simply raised that way. The latter I think we’ll see more and more of as time goes on.
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I’d agree with this. I recently found out that some of my relatives in the past were Catholic, but due to a mix of actions, it didn’t pass down through the family. I was never raised with any religion, and neither were either of my parents. I’m not Agnostic out of pain or anger - I simply have no emotional attachment to any religion. I think I’d class myself more as an Agnostic Atheist, in that I have no knowledge as to whether there is a god, but I don’t believe that there is one. I’d say I’m skeptic, at any rate. Again, not out of trauma, I just never have believed in anything. However, the reasoning as to why it didn’t pass down through the family to me was based on emotional reasons so 🤷 . I think that atheism can be a mix of emotions, I would say much more than materialistic reasons, at the least.

Lou
 
Good question for the OP. I think it’s very common. Some kind of abuse. Even extreme religious teaching mixed with abusiveness. Lack of love - feeling abandoned by family or others.
There’s a lot to this.
In these cases, hard-core argumentation doesn’t work. It’s something that has to be healed at a personal level.
 
Good question! I see that your post and most of the responses talk about trauma and witnessing abuse by religion.

My initial affirmative response to your title was to think of my own situation as an atheist for several years in my teens. For me, the “pain” I was fleeing was the intellectual pain of uncertainty. When I became an atheist I got an almost palpable buzz from the clarity of the position and its consequences. It also felt good to be “smarter” than all the believers.

Having said that, I should acknowledge that I personally experienced severe trauma as a child. The trauma was within my family, and not from the church, of which I only had good experiences. This is probably not a coincidence when I think of the other responses. As I recall, there was a section in the movie “The Case for Christ” which mentioned something about atheists and trauma. I’ve never thought of the connection in my own life and my period of atheism before.

👍
 
I think I recall the relevant comment from *The Case for Christ *now. They said that many leading atheists had had difficulties with their father. I can’t recall what the point was though.
 
I can’t speak to all atheists, but I had a normal childhood. No issues with the parents. I’m confirmed, but eventually it just didn’t make sense to me.

These questions as to what secret reason why atheists are atheists always feels like it’s trying to undermine or undercut the steps we’ve taken to come to the positions we’ve come to. We know that in fields besides religion that people can look at the same evidence and come to differing conclusions, and the same is true with religion.

There’s no need to ascribe tragedy, abuse, or other extreme outside forces as to why we atheists believe as we do.
 
ITT: Non-Atheists tell each other why atheists think the way they do.

Seriously though, the proper answer is that people just don’t find the existence of the diving and supernatural to be particularly likely, and the arguments for its existence are not persuasive. Other factors like most religions being out of step with modern social values or reports of abuse of power by religious officials likely helps the process.
 
I don’t think that questions like “how often” can be usefully answered, although most of the atheists I have known have a sad story to tell. Knowing people is not my strength.

I have also, however, known atheists and agnostics who became so because it reflected the headful of ideas they had swallowed; and at least one who was raised in an atheist family.

ICXC NIKA
 
I think it certainly can be, but I can’t quantify it. I know quite a few people who were raised Catholic, and they now consider themselves non-believers due to bad things that have happened in their lives (such as illness). In some cases it’s not so much that they no longer believe, but they believe that God isn’t a loving God.
 
fnr said:
In my experience, most atheists I know came to their views on religion following a tragedy, emotional trauma, or extreme outrage.

I have spoken with a man whose atheism seemed very much shaped by growing up in a family affected by the shock and horror of his uncle’s abuse by a priest, and the threat by a local bishop to the victim’s mother that the whole family would be excommunicated if the victim’s father reported the crime to the police.

I dated a woman whose faith seemed to be snuffed out by a tyrannical mother who called her a slut for coming in past curfew and a father who told her that he’d cut her off financially unless she remained Catholic. That same woman told me that she didn’t want to believe in God because it would commit her to believing other things that she didn’t want to believe either. Alas, I only discovered her atheism after we broke up!

On the other hand, I also have a good friend who grew up with two totally secular parents, and now doesn’t see any need for God in his life.

Overall, it seems to me that more people are moved to atheism by suffering than by rational reasoning alone. I think there are people whose faith becomes challenged by modern geology, biology, or astronomy. However, do you agree with me that personal or family suffering is more often a contributor to atheism than is a materialistic view of the world?
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Interesting insights there. I’ve found similar, though I’m curious because suffering can also push people towards belief, instead of away.
 
SolicitorPirate said:
ITT: Non-Atheists tell each other why atheists think the way they do.

Seriously though, the proper answer is that people just don’t find the existence of the diving and supernatural to be particularly likely, and the arguments for its existence are not persuasive. Other factors like most religions being out of step with modern social values or reports of abuse of power by religious officials likely helps the process.
Click to expand...
People who haven’t experienced the supernatural usually don’t find the existence of the supernatural to be particularly likely.

Most doctors centuries ago scoffed at germ theory. They didn’t think the arguments for it were persuasive either. It takes taking a serious look into something, giving credit to something before a discovery to see if there is something there.
 
AnneElizabeth said:
Interesting insights there. I’ve found similar, though I’m curious because suffering can also push people towards belief, instead of away.
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For me personally, there was no emotional trauma that lead to atheism. Religion just gradually stopped making sense to me.

But perhaps emotional pain or suffering can lead to one reconsidering their current ideology? Perhaps it didn’t cause them to change but instead caused the to consider reevaluating things and exposed underlying issues that were previously ignored, if that makes any sense.
 
AnneElizabeth said:
People who haven’t experienced the supernatural usually don’t find the existence of the supernatural to be particularly likely.

Most doctors centuries ago scoffed at germ theory. They didn’t think the arguments for it were persuasive either. It takes taking a serious look into something, giving credit to something before a discovery to see if there is something there.
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I think your analogy is apt. I personally can testify to one of my own friends experiencing miraculous healing of a brain tumor (disappearing totally without any treatement), which was assured by a priest who prayed over him. I’ve shared that story with atheists, including the ex-girlfriend who hid her atheism from me while we dated. In general, they insist that something other than God provides an explanation, even if that explanation requires that the laws of physics or medicine be violated.

In general, I think agnostics are more open to the miraculous possibly being true than atheists – that almost seems to be true by definition. I shared that brain tumor story also with a neurosurgeon I know, who personally identifies as an agnostic after growing up Catholic, and though she suggested that other mechanisms might explain it, confirmed that in her profession, she’d never heard of a single case of a tumor disappearing spontaneously.
 
I don’t think there needs to be specific trauma. Going through life believing that it’s all random and meaningless and that death is oblivion, that’s painful in itself.

Atheists are suffering because they choose darkness over light, and are rejecting God’s love. That is piteous.
 
Faithdancer said:
I don’t think there needs to be specific trauma. Going through life believing that it’s all random and meaningless and that death is oblivion, that’s painful in itself.

Atheists are suffering because they choose darkness over light, and are rejecting God’s love. That is piteous.
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Why do you assume atheists believe life is meaningless?
 
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