How should I witness?

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The_Augustinian

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I’m not sure if this is a common problem, but I usually end up exhausted after discussing religious topics with unbelieving friends. Both of us usually end up agitated in the end. I think a great deal of it is my fault, because I feel personally attacked when someone says something like “missionaries force their beliefs on others” or “people like you start all the wars.” When it’s an internet chat discussion, things go out of hand, and I end up feeling as if I wasn’t doing it for Jesus, but just to win an argument. It’s a terrible feeling. How do you share your faith? How should I present myself as a Christian for others? Please pray for me.
 
I think you’ll find the best way to evangelize is to live the life you preach, and live it with joy. People will start to notice the joy that you have and begin to wonder what they are missing out on. It takes time, but it will do more to change their attitudes than anything you tell them.

I was stunned the other day when I went to work. My secretary, a non-practicing catholic, asked me how I’m doing? I replied “Wonderful”, just like I always do. She said, “John, you’re always doing wonderful. I guess I need to start going to Mass”.
 
Try not saying anything about Christ for a while, just doing all you can to live in a holy and upright way.

Our words can make us hypocrites; our actions and our attitudes can make us saints.
 
Friends in Christ, thank you for your kind words. Sometimes my mouth (or in this case, my fingers) run faster than my mind can think, and I cannot witness in the best way. I will try to pray more and become a better Christian.

However, the night air has helped me sort out my thoughts on my discussion/argument into a more reasonable form, which I have typed up here for your criticism. For the sake of good relations I decided not to show this to person in question yet.
…However, there is now the objection that evangelization in itself ought not to be done, that we should not “impose our views” on other people and thus the whole enterprise is insidious. That objection goes against the heart of the Gospel. After all, Jesus told His disciples to preach to all the nations, and St. Paul, the Apostle to the Gentiles, sought to do just that even if it meant martyrdom. Indeed, without evangelization, Christianity might have been another obscure Jewish sect, perhaps forgotten in the sands of time. God forbid!
Thankfully, I think that this view is mistaken. First of all, it confuses persuasion with coercion. How, indeed, can one “impose” their views on other people without recourse to violence? Certainly social pressures can be felt by the person being evangelized, but that does not automatically equate to conversion on their part. Second, is not this drive to get us not to “impose our views” also “imposing” a certain view, that of relativism and pluralism for pluralism’s sake? It seems to me that this is an inherently contradictory view. Third, it assumes that missionaries are totally the Other, as if they are viral agents infecting the host culture with Western ideas. Certainly it is true that we cannot help but have prejudices, but it does not mean that we cannot relate to other people, otherwise we cannot even relate to each other, much less members of alien cultures. The fact that people from every land convert to Christianity attest to its universal nature, or at least a good amount common ground between the common beliefs of humanity and the Christian and Catholic creed. Indeed, the Church has recognized in the Second Vatican Council that all religions have elements of truth in them. Thus, missionaries can persuade many people based upon the shared experience of humanity as well as their particular beliefs. Take for example the eminent Jesuits Fr. Matteo Ricci and St. Francis Xavier. In China and Japan, respectively, both tried their best to conform to local custom and law, to sincerely learn more about the native culture, and even to learn the language (albeit unsuccessfully on St. Francis’ part). These Jesuits basically bent over backwards to accommodate their hosts. It is hard to say that they were acting in bad faith or thinking of anything but the glory of God and the salvation of the world. They did not impose, they invited.
And yet, and yet…the belief in Truth itself is a scandal. Indeed, it is the presupposition that we cannot know the whole truth, and that anyone who claims to know the Truth is prima facie a deluded at best or a scoundrel at worst. I agree, and the Church does as well, that we, as fallible human beings cannot fully know God through our own power. However, we can demonstrate that belief in God is reasonable, and that God through His grace has granted us the Wisdom appearing foolish in the eyes of the world. Although we may be (almost inevitably) beset with doubt, especially in today’s circumstances, through that adventurous affair that is Faith we may come to know in full the Truth that will set us free. Rather than indignantly saying “How dare you claim to know the Truth!” I invite all those still seeking to sincerely ask, “How can you come to know the Truth?” and I will, God willing, try to answer.
 
If the person really thinks you are forcing them to convert, then why have they not converted? The fact that they are not converted is proof that you are NOT forcing them to get saved.

Just say something simple, like

The fact that you have not converted is proof that you are not being forced to convert.
 
Just a practical word for you–people often throw out accusations to mask what is really bothering them. You’ll never be able to ferret that out in a forum setting. You can give him all the information in the world, but until the underlying problem he has is faced your words will slide off his back.

When you find that someone WILL not listen to you, move on–especially online. The only way to really help people is to get to know them and their needs, not merely present them with information. And that is very hard to do strictly through the written word in a forum. Finally, but not lastly, pray for him. And pray again and again.
 
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