How to “congratulate” non Catholic newlyweds

[Tis_Bearself]

You can always wish someone happiness in their life. We certainly aren’t going to wish them ill because we disapprove of their marriage on grounds of Catholic teaching or anything else.

If you’re not sure about someone’s situation, just smile and say, “I wish you all the happiness” and leave it at that.

 

[1ke]

Can we congratulate homosexual marriages?

Those are not marriages at all.

 

[1ke]

They can have a perfectly valid marriage. It just won’t be sacramental.

It certainly is sacramental if both non-Catholics are baptized.

 

[LawyersGunsAndMoney]

Good catch, I should have said Christians as opposed to Catholics specifically.

 

[1ke]

But can we congratulate them because at least they found what they believe to be love?

Would you congratulate others on their public sins?

For example, would you wish an adulterer who’s left his wife and kids to live with his girlfriend happiness?

Would you wish a burglar well on an upcoming heist?

 

[GospelOfMatthew]

This seems different to me

 

[1ke]

This seems different to me

But it isn’t.

Please explain how it’s different.

 

[HopkinsReb]

As Catholics we view homosexual marriages as sinful since they are acting on it.

As Catholics, you view homosexual “marriages” as not being marriages. Homosexual sexual activity, not homosexual “marriage,” is the sin. It is not possible to engage in such behavior within the confines of marriage because it is not possible for a marriage between two people of the same sex to exist.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

As Catholics we view homosexual marriages as sinful since they are acting on it. But can we congratulate them because at least they found what they believe to be love? Or at least happiness? Can we wish them all the best?

You can wish a person the best all day long, whether or not he is married and regardless of the circumstances of his marriage.

There are many friars who would beg in the street and say “God bless you” to everyone they met, even when the person wouldn’t give them anything or was mean or abusive to them. I notice some street beggars still do this. We can do it too.

 

[JanetF]

Technically, you say Congratulations to the groom and Best Wishes to the bride.

Yep, never congratulate the bride, cuz it sounds like you are saying “hey you got a man” I usually go with congrats to the groom, and tell the bride she looks lovely.

 

[HopkinsReb]

Yep, never congratulate the bride, cuz it sounds like you are saying “hey you got a man”

After we got married, I told my wife, in the immortal words of Tom Petty, “you got lucky, babe, when I found you.”

 

[JanetF]

After we got married, I told my wife, in the immortal words of Tom Petty, “you got lucky, babe, when I found you.”

You and my husband would get along well. He jokes in the same way to me often. Then he tells others, he “thought she had money”

 

[HopkinsReb]

HopkinsReb:

After we got married, I told my wife, in the immortal words of Tom Petty, “you got lucky, babe, when I found you.”

You and my husband would get along well. He jokes in the same way to me often. Then he tells others, he “thought she had money”

Folks used to ask my dad “is your beautiful wife around?” He’d reply, “no, but Sherry is.”

They had the happiest marriage I’ve ever seen. She was a helluva sport.

 

[JanetF]

Folks used to ask my dad “is your beautiful wife around?” He’d reply, “no, but Sherry is.”

They had the happiest marriage I’ve ever seen. She was a helluva sport.

LOL. My in-laws were like that as well. Which is prolly where my husband gets it. You have to have thick skin in my house.

 

[TheLittleLady]

To blow your mind even more, (barring any other impedements) if these two non Catholics are both validly baptized Christians, their courthouse wedding is Sacramental.

 

[TheLittleLady]

I would simply respond “You are both in my prayers. Hey, did you catch that episode of ‘Chernobyl’?”

 

[Angel_Bradford]

It’s okay; no one knows everything and it’s great you’re trying to learn…God bless you and welcome home!

 

[Tis_Bearself]

You and my husband would get along well. He jokes in the same way to me often. Then he tells others, he “thought she had money”

My husband apparently jokingly told one of his former bosses who asked him why he waited so long (years) to marry me that it was because I had taken all that time to stop looking for “Mr. Right” and decide he was “Mr. Good Enough” or something to that effect.

I did not hear about this for over 20 years when Former Boss suddenly emerged from retirement (and I do mean emerged, his work colleagues had literally not seen him in about 10 years or more, he just up and left the office and vanished) to show up unexpectedly at my husband’s funeral and tell that story to me and the entire group, laughing all the while.

Oh man was I ever embarrassed, but I probably deserved it.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Folks used to ask my dad “is your beautiful wife around?” He’d reply, “no, but Sherry is.”

They had the happiest marriage I’ve ever seen. She was a helluva sport.

Do we somehow have the same entire family of in-laws? In the olden days husband, his brother, their dad and dad’s brother would all be sitting around the kitchen table just zinging each other for a couple hours. Three of them have passed away now so I picture them sitting around a kitchen table in heaven doing the same.

 

[1ke]

I guess, shouldn’t I at least be happy on a human level that they found someone who makes them feel accepted, cared for, and loved?

You are misconstruing what it is they’ve “found”. Sexual expression in a same sex context is not the same as love. And finding someone who “accepts” their disordered desires is not love.

You are confusing subjective feelings with objective morality and with virtue.

We all just want to feel loved and even if what they are doing is sinful, they might not be aware or believe it is sinful so shouldn’t I at least be glad they are happy?

No. You seem blinded by the idea of “love” as something that is always “good”. This is a disordered caricature of love, not authentic love. The end all, be all of life is not to “be happy” living in our sins. Our end all, be all is union with God.

Are you happy for the adulterer because THEY are happy to live in adultery?

What you should do is pray for them.

Do you understand where I am coming from at least?

I understand that you have a misguided notion of love, fueled by popular culture. You have the idea that sexual “love” is a necessity and that we should be “glad” people engage in it, even when it is gravely disordered.

Same sex attracted people are called to chastity, and can find authentic friendship and authentic love, but being “happy” for them when they find an inauthentic, soul-damaging substitute in many ways prevents them from ever being able to see their error and pursue the what is good and holy.