How to “congratulate” non Catholic newlyweds

  • Thread starter Thread starter Love6493
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
This is very interesting, gives me something to think about for sure. I feel like in a lot of ways the respectful and compassionate thing would be to congratulate them.

But you are saying what we should really want for them is true joy not fleeting happiness in pleasure. So we should rather want what is good and true for them.

But I also want people to be happy you know? I feel a lot of sadness sometimes, close to daily with depression and anxiety. Also happiness but it comes crashing down too sometimes. I don’t want other people to feel alone and lonely and hopeless
 
GospelOfMatthew said:
But I also want people to be happy you know?
Click to expand...
Sin can’t make us truly happy.

You can want an alcoholic to be happy, but do you take him to the bar? That is what makes him “happy” in the midst of his disease. Would it not be better to accompany him to an AA meeting?
 
Phew! That’s means mine is sacramental. Still might seek a blessing now I’m catholic.
 
halogirl said:
till might seek a blessing now I’m catholic.
Click to expand...
You and your spouse can receive the Nuptial Blessing, which is available to those who have not yet received it.

Do not confuse this with a convalidation-- which many people call getting their marriage “blessed”. You cannot get your marriage “blessed” in this sense, because a convalidation is the validation of an invalid marriage. Your marriage is valid. There is nothing you can do to make it more valid, and in fact cannot seek a convalidation at all.
 
I’ve heard that. But it never made sense. To me it sounds like you’re saying “good score!” to the groom and “good-luck-you’ll-need-it” to the bride! 😆
 
blackforest said:
I’ve heard that. But it never made sense. To me it sounds like you’re saying “good score!” to the groom and “good-luck-you’ll-need-it” to the bride! 😆
Click to expand...
Not quite - This from https://www.huffpost.com/entry/congratulations-to-a-bride_n_5617632:

“…If, like us, you weren’t aware of this particular piece of traditional wedding etiquette, here’s the gist of it: Apparently, telling a bride “congratulations” insinuates that it was not a given that she would succeed at getting married or that she didn’t have her choice of suitors. Instead, you’re supposed to tell the bride “best wishes” and reserve your “congrats” for the groom, who presumably played the role of hunter and succeeded at his goal of convincing his bride to say yes…”
 
blackforest said:
I’ve heard that. But it never made sense. To me it sounds like you’re saying “good score!” to the groom and “good-luck-you’ll-need-it” to the bride! 😆
Click to expand...
There was a time when a woman’s financial future was based on her husband’s ability to provide, not her own. It was OK to say “best wishes” to anybody, but the pretense was that men “hunted” for brides and could garner congratulations on a successful “hunt,” whereas the better women didn’t have to be “on the hunt” for a husband. Saying “congratulations” to the bride made it sound too much as if she had made a financial score after hunting for a man in a gold-digging way or as if she was lucky to find a guy at all. It was OK to joke that way with the guys, but not with the women.
(Remember that this was a time when an unmarried older man was a “confirmed bachelor” and an unmarried older woman was an “old maid.”)
 
Last edited:
In every relationship there is a reacher and a settler…I reached…she settled.

My wife hates it when I say it…but I love saying it and she starts rolling her eyes when she knows it’s coming.
 
jrgmercado said:
In every relationship there is a reacher and a settler…I reached…she settled.

My wife hates it when I say it…but I love saying it and she starts rolling her eyes when she knows it’s coming.
Click to expand...
It’s one of the few redeeming factors of living in DC: the gender ratio in the dating market is terrible for women, so guys like me are able to get women like my wife. Wouldn’t have happened some places!
 
HopkinsReb said:
As Catholics we view homosexual marriages as sinful since they are acting on it.
Click to expand...
In the present social climate, I would convey the same best wishes, without congratulating them, as I would for invalid heterosexual marriages. Neither one is a marriage. Our apostate secular society is as aghast at condemning sodomy as it is at condemning adultery. Sorry state of affairs.
Click to expand...
 
blackforest said:
Thanks. I wondered if the practice was archaic!
Click to expand...
I’d say that with the widespread trepidation surrounding marriage and commitment right now that anybody who has the courage to marry in these times deserves congratulations. Still, it is also an era when one has to be wary of what the current politically-correct boundaries are in one’s own area and social circle. The last thing one wants to do is to give an insult when the intention was to share joy at a happy event.
The same prohibition against congratulating a bride used to apply to saying “mazel tov” to a Jewish bride, as it implied she was lucky to land a husband.
HomeschoolDad said:
In the present social climate, I would convey the same best wishes, without congratulating them, as I would for invalid heterosexual marriages. Neither one is a marriage. Our apostate secular society is as aghast at condemning sodomy as it is at condemning adultery. Sorry state of affairs.
Click to expand...
The penduluum has swung the other way; those who were divorced used to become social pariahs, never mind the circumstances. (Let’s not even get started with those who were presumed to have SSA, whether or not they ever acted on the inclination.)

When it comes to those we have no jurisdiction to correct, it doesn’t hurt us to mind our own business. It only harms the truth to speak it to those who have made it very clear they have no ear to hear it.
 
Last edited:
HopkinsReb said:
40.png
JanetF:
40.png
HopkinsReb:
After we got married, I told my wife, in the immortal words of Tom Petty, “you got lucky, babe, when I found you.”
Click to expand...
You and my husband would get along well. He jokes in the same way to me often. Then he tells others, he “thought she had money” :roll_eyes:
Click to expand...
Folks used to ask my dad “is your beautiful wife around?” He’d reply, “no, but Sherry is.”

They had the happiest marriage I’ve ever seen. She was a helluva sport.
Click to expand...
I’ve heard people refer to their current spouses as “My first husband…” Or “My first wife…”
Funny, yes. But not my joke—too cynical. Sarcasm I’ll do. Cynicism, not so much.
 
on_the_hill said:
40.png
HopkinsReb:
40.png
JanetF:
40.png
HopkinsReb:
After we got married, I told my wife, in the immortal words of Tom Petty, “you got lucky, babe, when I found you.”
Click to expand...
You and my husband would get along well. He jokes in the same way to me often. Then he tells others, he “thought she had money” :roll_eyes:
Click to expand...
Folks used to ask my dad “is your beautiful wife around?” He’d reply, “no, but Sherry is.”

They had the happiest marriage I’ve ever seen. She was a helluva sport.
Click to expand...
I’ve heard people refer to their current spouses as “My first husband…” Or “My first wife…”
Funny, yes. But not my joke—too cynical. Sarcasm I’ll do. Cynicism, not so much.
Click to expand...
I sometimes refer to my wife as my ex-girlfriend or my ex-fiancee.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top