How to balance Christian compassion with not being 'taken for a ride'?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Rozellelily
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Agree. Please, be cautious. If this was an expensive item, what is the return policy? What is your last day to dispute?
 
Rozellelily said:
Recently I purchased something online from a business in India.
I have bought from India previously many times without issue but this time I was buying from a business I had never bought with before.
The seller was quite pushy but I ended up purchasing anyway.
After the sale I asked for a tracking number and I was given the wrong one (ie:didn’t work).
The seller said it was a problem with DHL website but DHL website worked fine for me.
He said he would get back to me about it.
After a few days,I sent them more messages politely enquiring about it however they didn’t reply.
At the same time,I could see that the seller was still “active online” and listing other things with photos,messages etc…

After no response,and the issue with the tracking number,I began to think maybe I was not going to receive anything and got worried as it was reasonably high price.
I started thinking the option maybe the seller was a fraud who was just using fake photos but had no goods.
So I sent them/him a message stating I was going to have to open a case with PayPal to try to retrieve my money as I had received no response to numerous messages and I didn’t know if I would receive my item or if he even had the item and that I didn’t know if they were just busy or if there was an issue.

He replied back with a correct tracking number (which worked this time) and apologised saying they weren’t able to work as much as usual as his Grandmother was in hospital.

Now I feel guilty 😬.
At the same time I don’t know if I should feel guilty,or is there a chance that it’s not even true and my emotions are being manipulated?

How would you act it/see this situation?

Any thoughts on what I could have done differently?
How to be smart but still compassionate.

Thanks
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What exactly could you do if things weren’t on the up and up? Are you going to India to argue your case? Buy outside this country and you take matters on the terms of the country you’re buying from. Not to mention you could lose more than you think
 
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That’s great information!
I think this one may be legitimate and the tracking number is checking out ok at the official DHL website and the parcel is apparently already on its way.
It will be good to keep in mind though for future purchases.
 
Yes I need to balance compassion somehow with not feeling bad for them because then they can take advantage of your emotions I think?
 
Most of these businesses will often accept returns but at your shipping cost so it ends up not being worth people making the effort to return something overseas (unless it’s really really expensive) because once you have paid for shipping with tracking etc you end up with less money.

Hurdle one is that I will receive the item.
Hurdle two is that the quality will be as described.

For me,sometimes “bait and switches” are expected if you pay a very low price and then I just don’t buy again but when it’s a higher price i don’t want to be disappointed.

I think the seller should have to pay the return shipping if the item you receive is not the promised quality as per photos but sometimes I don’t know if it’s better to be firm about this or just cut your losses?
 
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Everything comes with risks but I try to minimalist those risks by only buying through PayPal for decent priced items if I don’t know the (overseas) seller because with PayPal you can open a resolution case if you don’t receive the item and the seller won’t refund.
Paying with CC there is much greater risk involved imo.

It’s possible to have issues even with businesses in your own country.
For example when a company collapses and they don’t sent people their orders that they have already paid for.
 
How long from India to Aus. Britain it’s pretty quick, USA is months
 
@Roseeurekacross
Usually I find it takes approximately 2 weeks or a bit under with DHL as it is an express service but will cost higher.
The alternative is the cheapest option India post which can take anywhere between a month to 6 weeks.
This is for quite light parcels,I don’t know if the time differs for heavier parcels sorry.
 
Test response: You acted prudently. The seller made a promise, but had difficulty keeping it. You simply reminded the seller to fulfill their end of the deal. Confession of any uncharitable thoughts will lead you to penance and prayer on their behalf. This is doubly pleasing to God.
 
Nice to see you back on CAF @po18guy 🙂

How can I know if I had any uncharitable thoughts?
For example when I received no responses back I did start thinking potentially he is a liar/fraud so I started getting concerned.
Would this fall into category of being uncharitable or more just reasonable/commonsense?

I didn’t think anything mean or angry.
If anything,I’d have a tendency of going too much the other way and feeling too much pity for people who are poor and trying to earn a living which probably isn’t balanced either because someone might try to take advantage of that.
 
Thank you again. Although it is a very high standard, we are called to charity toward others, even in our thoughts. In the case of those from another nation, it might have been a language or cultural problem, a miscommunication or any of several other potential difficulties. Our example is the Lord hanging on His cross - praying even for his torturers. For this reason, in the confiteor we ask pardon for our thoughts and words, as well as actions and inaction.
I confess to almighty God
and to you, my brothers and sisters,
that I have greatly sinned,
in my thoughts and in my words…
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I think you have to be practical about ordering items from around the world. There are many criminals out there. If there is any doubt, you should take your business someplace else.

Christian compassion should guide you to be less desirous of material things for yourself and be more concerned about the welfare of others. Don’t retaliate. Be polite but firm. If you are cheated take that as a lesson learned.

Realize too that sellers lie. I bought a laptop from a shop-at-home TV channel. The laptop was supposed to arrive within 10 days. I DO have better things to do than sit around waiting for an expensive electronic to arrive, but I put myself into that situation. It didn’t even SHIP until the day after it was due to arrive, and then it took about 14 days to get to the US from China,DEEP inside China. Fortunately I could track that parcel and it got here in good shape.

On the other hand, I ordered an LCD screen protector which shipped from a close-by state. It arrived broken and bent in half. It wasn’t even worth the money to send it back. Ordering with a credit card will NOT always protect your rights.

BUYER BEWARE. Being a Christian itself may have no effect on the outcome of your transaction, but give you the satisfaction of knowing what you did was right.
 
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I usually try to factor cultural factors when I buy things from there and I just accept it or see the humour.
Eg: they often call me sir (I’m female) so I assume in India they are more used to doing business with men than women.
 
I’m sorry about your financial loss or did he make it good. Always be kind. I would have addressed his mother. If he was irritated, it would have been at himself for not finishing business correctly. He was justifying his actions w a real reason for delay. He was probably hard on himself. We should always try and comfort those in need. If your heart felt good!! You were in right standing w God then.
It is better to buy local or stateside. But, there maybe that one thing and it calls you. Forgive & love in Jesus.
Prayer of Saint Teresa of Avila
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.

– St. Teresa of Avila
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Yes!!
It arrived two days ago thankfully so all good now:)
The quality was a bit disappointing but that’s probably my own fault for “buying into” Instagram photos and not being switched on enough that they are often heavily edited.
Main thing is that it arrived though so he was honest after all.

Happy Birthday also Thelittlelady 🎉
 
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