How to be a good catholic wife?

[puddin18]

What tips can you give to this new wife on how to be a good catholic wife?

 

[Tietjen]

What tips can you give to this new wife on how to be a good catholic wife?

Pray together (esp. the rosary) daily. Attend weekly Mass together. Be active in Parish activities together. Be a good listener. Never go to bed angry at one another. Both of you agree to NEVER say the “D” word; there are almost always other options. Always try to share at least one meal a day together. Keep your calendar open at least one evening every two weeks for a “date night.” Understand that most men NEED to feel needed… allow your husband to “fix” things, ask him for his opinion on matters, let him problem solve and then value his contributions. Oh… and finally and maybe most importantly, laugh together whenever and over whatever as often as possible.

 

[He_Man]

I always wondered, how does one go to bed “not angry?”

There are times when your anger is justified, and it will not subside. Frankly, if I did something completely irresponsible or bad for our marriage, be it financially, morally, spiritually, I would expect anger from my wife. And I would have it if it were her.

Just because you discuss an issue doesn’t mean anger goes away before bed. And many issues take much longer to be resolved than 1 talk. And frankly, some issues husbdands and wives will never agree on. Now they may make decisions and move forward, but that doesn’t mean deep down both think it is the best thing to do.

Everything else I agree with, speaking as a husband.

 

[whatevergirl]

Love and respect your husband…with all you have, every day. Love your neighbor as thy self.

 

[NCSue]

What tips can you give to this new wife on how to be a good catholic wife?

There’s a quote I like:
An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband. – Booth Tarkington.

The message here?

Let him know that you think he’s ideal for you. That doesn’t mean you have to be a doormat - there are some things that you’ll need to stand firm on. But it’s important to let him know that you really *do *love him… even when you disagree.

Marriage has been more work than I first expected it would be, but it has unexpected rewards as well. Best wishes!

 

[danandirma]

read “good news about sex and marriage” by christopher west. that book changed our marriage forever.

 

[Tietjen]

I always wondered, how does one go to bed “not angry?”

There are times when your anger is justified, and it will not subside. Frankly, if I did something completely irresponsible or bad for our marriage, be it financially, morally, spiritually, I would expect anger from my wife. And I would have it if it were her.

Just because you discuss an issue doesn’t mean anger goes away before bed. And many issues take much longer to be resolved than 1 talk. And frankly, some issues husbdands and wives will never agree on. Now they may make decisions and move forward, but that doesn’t mean deep down both think it is the best thing to do.

Everything else I agree with, speaking as a husband.

I can understand where you’re coming from and certainly in some situations it will be harder to do than in others, but the idea isn’t necessarily that a problem must be solved or that everyone must agree on a certain issue. The idea is that regardless, you and your spouse will make a conscious effect to forgive and set aside the angry feelings that might prevent that. How do you do that? One of the things that I did was to ask myself, “In ten years will I look back on (whatever the event is) and care?” You will be surprised at how few things really will be of great importance 10 years from now. A shopping spree, a traffic ticket, forgetting the dry cleaning, forgetting an anniversary, etc. I don’t know. I’m certainly not perfect and I’d be lying if I said that after a 20 year marriage I never once went to bed angry at my spouse, but just because I wasn’t 100% successful, doesn’t mean that I threw out the entire concept and didn’t try.

 

[savienu]

Oh boy, do I need this thread today! I would say, don’t nag your husband. Trust in his loving leadership, and learn to let the less important things go. Don’t think he’s not doing something just because he’s not doing it the way YOU would. Let him know he is needed, loved, and respected. Also, submission, when understood properly, is not a dirty word, despite what this culture tries to tell us.

These all things that I need to work on myself, in my daily life as a wife.

 

[whatevergirl]

*You know, this is a tip that I picked up along the way, and it’s so simple you might just not think it will ever apply.

But, when I was a SAHM, the minute my husband would walk in the door from work (ok, maybe 90 seconds), I would start talking about the day, the good and the bad…non stop…and he would be like… And I would say…‘why don’t you say anything? don’t you care what I’m saying?’

And he would say, Sharon, please…when I come home from work, can I just get a glass of water, change my clothes, and relax for a few minutes, before we start talking about the day?

I used to get upset by this. He hasn’t seen me all day…doesn’t he want to talk non stop like me? But, over time, I heard my friends say it too, about their husbands. We were all chatter boxes when our husbands walked through the door.

I now work outside of the home, and my husband gets home later than me (he works nights)…and we wait to talk after he has had a minute or two to unwind. I have heard that men can be like this, that they like to unwind before chatting about their days, or our day.

I learned that tip, and it really helps…to this day, it helps. These little tips might seem small, but when we ignore just a minor request like this, we tell our spouses…I matter more than you. Little things add up. Little things matter. I think that being a good wife, is a journey…you might never arrive fully…you’re always learning, but your husband will appreciate all of the things you do on that journey for him. *

 

[whatevergirl]

Oh boy, do I need this thread today! I would say, don’t nag your husband. Trust in his loving leadership, and learn to let the less important things go. Don’t think he’s not doing something just because he’s not doing it the way YOU would. Let him know he is needed, loved, and respected. Also, submission, when understood properly, is not a dirty word, despite what this culture tries to tell us.

These all things that I need to work on myself, in my daily life as a wife.

*I agree – this is a beautiful post. *

 

[TLM08]

What tips can you give to this new wife on how to be a good catholic wife?

There is a lot of great advice on this thread. Let me add that a good wife also takes care of herself physically and keeps up her appearance. Too many otherwise good women let themselves go within a few years after the wedding. Many men are afraid to admit it, but it’s true…

The way to a man’s heart is NOT through his stomach. It’s through his eyes.
God Bless!

 

[mpi]

What tips can you give to this new wife on how to be a good catholic wife?

Never use contraception. NFP is immoral if it is used without a serious reason.

 

[aggiecatholic05]

What tips can you give to this new wife on how to be a good catholic wife?

learn to cook his favorite meal. even if you dont like it, or its so complex that you only do it once a year, or screw it up horrible.

my wife is not a cook. step one when she cooks is i go take the batteries out of every smoke dectector(not a joke). but her putting in the effort to just attempt my favorite food, which i knew she wouldnt want even if it was good, thats something.

and it doesnt have to be cooking, thats just my example. bu going out of your way to show interest and support something they care about(and yes it should go both ways) that means a lot, and i think good feelings and memories like that can really help in the rocky times.

 

[dontknow]

One opinions is to be a good catholic wife (at least one that’s happy/content) requires a loving supporting husband who in turn loves, respects and honors you as well as the marriage.

 

[savienu]

*I agree – this is a beautiful post. *

Thanks. Of course, those were all things I just happened to fail at miserably yesterday. God’s providence is amazing.

Oh, and I really liked your advice about “don’t talk his ear off right when he gets home.” It’s very true, men need that time to relax, and men just don’t talk the way women do.

 

[whatevergirl]

Thanks. Of course, those were all things I just happened to fail at miserably yesterday. God’s providence is amazing.

Oh, and I really liked your advice about “don’t talk his ear off right when he gets home.” It’s very true, men need that time to relax, and men just don’t talk the way women do.

*Yeah, they really don’t. My dh likes to have conversations, but not the second he steps into the house. As I said, being a good wife, is a journey–work in progress! *

 

[savienu]

*Yeah, they really don’t. My dh likes to have conversations, but not the second he steps into the house. As I said, being a good wife, is a journey–work in progress! *

Yeah, it’s even harder for us, because my husband works third shift. So he’s just coming in the door when I’m waking up for a night’s sleep, and I want to talk, and he’s like, “I’m tired…” lol

 

[whatevergirl]

Yeah, it’s even harder for us, because my husband works third shift. So he’s just coming in the door when I’m waking up for a night’s sleep, and I want to talk, and he’s like, “I’m tired…” lol

Yes that is very hard! My dh works afternoons, into the evenings…gets home around 10pm, as he has to close the computers down – so when he walks in, he is very tired, and I have been home since dinner time, ready for a loooong conversation. *

 

[LongingForLight]

1. Remember that you are marryied to YOUR husband, not someone else’s husband. And every man is different. People will give you wonderful advice, but if something bothers you about it, it’s fine to ignore it (ideally after understanding why). There are several pieces of great advice here that would drive my husband crazy if I took them to heart But since they are true for 98% of all marriages, they absolutely belong on this thread!
2. Learn the art of “complaining” about something in such a way that the person feels better after hearing the complaint than they did before - never complain in anger, but always complain from love and sincere concern. This skill cuts down so much on the desire to nag, I find; instead, my husband is eager to show his love for me, and empowered by the knowledge that he can do something to make me happier
3. If your husband complains to you, try not to be defensive. If you get upset, try and figure out why. Are you tired? Did he choose harsh wording? Tell him why you are having a hard time receiving his advice, and let him know that you really do want to listen but that you are not perfect and need his help. By doing this, you teach him the skill listed in paragraph (2), and empower him to lead you effectively and to help you become a better wife. I have learned so much about my husband since I started doing this.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

Oh boy, do I need this thread today! I would say, don’t nag your husband. Trust in his loving leadership, and learn to let the less important things go. Don’t think he’s not doing something just because he’s not doing it the way YOU would. Let him know he is needed, loved, and respected. Also, submission, when understood properly, is not a dirty word, despite what this culture tries to tell us.

These all things that I need to work on myself, in my daily life as a wife.

:bowdown2: