How to be happy NOW?

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BenSinner

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I tried to take the advice of the saints and “prepare for eternity” and not to give too much importance to earthly goods.

That all worked, but lately I’ve been struggling finding consolation and happiness with eternal things (doubts about God, the faith etc.)

And now I’m left with a lack of desire for earthly goods as well, which has put me in a cycle of depression and anxiety because now there is NOTHING to look forward to.

I was wondering what is there to look forward to NOW instead of having to only look forward to Heaven, which isn’t much of a help because my emotional state is "I’m depressed now, and I won’t die for a very long time)
 
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If you have a clinical diagnosis of anxiety and/or depression, then that is the proper arena in which to address your concerns. You cannot build anything lasting on an unstable foundation.
 
St. Teresa of Avila, in a favorite quote of mine, described life as “a bad night at a bad hotel.” In short, we are always uncomfortable here on earth because it is just a way station to our final destination. Absorbing this fact helps a lot, I think, even though most of society insists this earth is where we need to get all our happiness. Not so! So, first, don’t worry too much about being happy. Second, like in Teresa’s quote, a bad night at a lousy hotel is uncomfortable but manageable. There are all sorts of little things you could do to pass the time and make it tolerable. A key to life is indeed to live in the present moment, taking joy from small things (petting the cat, reading a good book, the freedom to go to Church and worship (biggy!), exercise, a nice healthy meal, a conversation with a friend). You may want to read the classic Practicing the Presence of God. If we can start to see everything we’ve been given as a gift from God to help us through the present moment, the string of all those present moments amounts to a blessed life.
 
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BenSinner said:
And now I’m left with a lack of desire for earthly goods as well, which has put me in a cycle of depression and anxiety because now there is NOTHING to look forward to.
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You mean if you don’t go shopping there is nothing in your life to look forward to?

How about taking a walk through God’s nature in the sunshine? Enjoying the company of your family and friends? Doing stuff to help other people? Reading books or watching video on interesting subjects that you’re like to learn more about? Using your talents to create a nice piece of quality work? Enjoying a good, inexpensive meal, perhaps cooked at home (even Jesus had to eat and he enjoyed a nice Passover meal with his friends or a home-cooked meal at Martha’s just as much as the next guy).

The list goes on and on…
 
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BenSinner said:
And now I’m left with a lack of desire for earthly goods as well,
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So why do you regret overcoming the temptation to seek earthly goods? It seems like you made a good step and now you regret taking it. Maybe God is pulling your mind back from your thoughts of regrets, because you shouldn’t regret this, and what is actually happening is that your mind goes all the way back to how you used to see things when material things actually made you happy. And then you feel out of place because the “old you” simply isn’t happy in the spiritual life the “new you” is trying to grow (quotes are because there aren’t actually two “you” there is only one “you” tempted with regrets).
Just a guess of course I am no mind reader. 🌚
Think about it if back when you now think material things “made you happy” why did you move forward from it in the first place? We are all hedonist in a way that we would never just run off from a happiness. Maybe it’s just that you weren’t happy at all back then, you just think now that you were happy because there was no visible spiritual struggle that would make you concentrate on it.
 
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 Good day. Are you actually in  a "cycle of depression and anxiety" or is the ego simply doing what it does? this quote explains what I mean very nicely. "...the ego thrives on routine and clings to what is familiar. In the face of uncertainty, ego is as skittish as a spooked horse."
 -Shyalpa Tenzin R(name removed by moderator)oche-

 In Buddhism there are five hindrances to enlightenment. I believe these hindrances apply to any spiritual path. One of the hindrances is doubt.
 What is there to  look forward to NOW? The present moment. The only moment that really matters. The past is filled with memories and the future is filled with dreams. Right here right now-enjoy.
 
Are you going it alone? Take your faith and share it with others.

Seek the company of like-minded Christians. Build faith in them, and let them build up your faith.

Serve those in need (even if they aren’t “like-minded”). Look for Christ in everyone and see everyone in Christ.
 
“It is written (John 13:17): ‘If you know these things, you shall be blessed if you do them.’ Therefore happiness is obtained through works.” (Summa Theologica, STh I-II, q. 5, a. 7, sc.)

“If we speak of the happiness of this life, the happy man needs friends, as the Philosopher says (Ethic. ix, 9), not, indeed, to make use of them, since he suffices himself; nor to delight in them, since he possesses perfect delight in the operation of virtue; but for the purpose of a good operation, viz., that he may do good to them; that he may delight in seeing them do good; and again that he may be helped by them in his good work. For in order that man may do well, whether in the works of the active life, or in those of the contemplative life, he needs the fellowship of friends.” (STh I-II, q. 4, a. 8, c.)

“A certain participation of happiness can be had in this life: but perfect and true happiness cannot be had in this life.” (STh I-II, q. 5, a. 3, c.)

“Man born of a woman, living for a short time, is filled with many miseries.” (Job 14:1)
 
God made the world for us. We should consider in which direction does each of the things of the world lead us:towards God or away?

If a walk in the woods or reading a good book helps you feel closer to God or more grateful to Him, do more of that.

If something drags you away from God, like partying so much on Saturdays that you don’t get to Mass on Sunday, or reading crummy books which jumble up your mind, do less of them.

Thank God for the good things He has put in your life and enjoy them.
 
I have had a very similar situation to you. After a real struggle getting to confession after a 4 year hiatus, I felt so close to God. I thanked Him much that day. At this time, I was mostly detached from earthly things, it all felt sort of pointless to buy something that would bring me only temporary happiness. But I also didn’t know how to feel content with God. I was inexperienced. Something new also happened. Suddenly, I didn’t feel God anymore. When I prayed, the warm fuzzy feeling wasn’t there. I didn’t even know what to pray for. I thought, “Well, I’m here now, now what?”

After many more struggles, and relapses, I discovered St. Ignatian spirituality. St. Ignatius speaks of a spiritual desolation that can overcome us at times. Sometimes God allows this so that we don’t focus on just the feelings, so that we will stick to our guns even when we don’t get the feeling of Him there. This is all for our growth. Do not let the devil deceive you into feeling lost. Find your way through the words of the saints and what you truly desire at the moment. Do you desire to love God more? Pray for that. Do you desire to suffer more patiently for the souls in purgatory? Pray for that. Do you desire a closer relationship with Our Lady? Pray for that. Always focus your eyes upward, but also remember that whatever you do on earth affects the supernatural (your soul, your relationship with God, your neighbor, etc) Try and cultivate the virtues.

Aim for spiritual growth. There are three conversions in our life. Many saints spoke of them and many even achieved the last stage. It all leads to happiness.

I pray you find peace and rest from your suffering. God bless.
 
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Here I am as the resident goth…

Throw religion and politics and all that other stuff out the window for a moment… And remember this…

Everybody dies.

Yesterday is history… tomorrow’s a mystery…

Be happy do what you love with who you love… leave something for the future…

It is ok to be sad. Sometimes it is romantic and affirms life…

Even if you have witnessed mystical things… life is a mystery and a lot of it is theory…

Don’t isolate by too much compartmentalizing in thought.

We only really know what we experience for ourselves and a lot of that is still a mystery.
 
Happiness comes from love. Other people will love you sometimes but not always. God, however, always loves you. Focus on relationship with God (love for God) and you will be happy. Heaven is an eternity with God, but you can already start that on earth because God is all around you and with you in your heart. Recognize all of God’s blessings for you. Each blessing is an expression of God’s love for you. The natural response is to want to love God back. Your expressions of love to God are offering good works to God. Over time this will increase your love for God. Then no matter what’s going on in your life, you will be happy because God is always with you.

Throughout the day, keep God on your mind. Whenever something good happens to you, be thinking that God blessed you. Then be thinking of what you can do in return and take action. You can say basic prayers like “God, you helped me with X (blessing), so I’m going to do Y (good work) for you.” For example, “God, this morning I prayed that you would help me get to work safely and I did. Because you loved me and answered my prayer, I love you in return by complimenting that co-worker I don’t like.” It takes practice to be thinking of God all the time, but it will make a huge difference in your life.
 
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