How to behave during Mass?

[TK421]

I attended my first Mass tonight. I won’t give a commentary on my experience, but I’ll just say that I decided to sit in the corner, 2nd to last pew, and there were two women in the very back directly behind me that literally talked almost without interruption from beginning to end. I couldn’t fully make out their words but basically they talked about everything from the air conditioning in the building to how the priest should take a breath more often during the homily. They were actively talking ~90% of the time, including during the songs. Is this something that is prohibited during the Mass?

Anyway, I’m going to sit in the middle next time. As I looked across the room I couldn’t take notice of anybody else acting that way. I think I just so happened to sit directly in front of two women that discretely talked to each other the entire time. Maybe God intended my first experience to be that way as a lesson? Note to self: don’t be a bashful wet noodle and sit in the corner.

In my life growing up going to protestant services people would occasionally say something during a song or during the sermon, but it would be completely off-the-wall for two people to just sit there and have a 45 minute conversation. It was hard to focus on anything other than when they got up to go take the Eucharist. I wasn’t sure if it would have been appropriate to ask them to stop talking.

 

[quiet52]

I would have turned around and put my finger on my lips, or told them their talking is distracting, but that’s just me. I’m sorry you had to experience this rudeness. Please look at it as an opportunity to forgive!

 

[virbots]

No, that is unacceptable behavior during a mass. Your solution of sitting closer to the front is a wise one. I pray that your journey leads you toward the fullness of truth. Don’t let the actions of two parishioners cause you to stumble.

 

[jmcrae]

I attended my first Mass tonight. I won’t give a commentary on my experience, but I’ll just say that I decided to sit in the corner, 2nd to last pew, and there were two women in the very back directly behind me that literally talked almost without interruption from beginning to end. I couldn’t fully make out their words but basically they talked about everything from the air conditioning in the building to how the priest should take a breath more often during the homily. They were actively talking ~90% of the time, including during the songs. Is this something that is prohibited during the Mass?

This should not have happened. Perhaps they were very elderly, or mentally ill. At my parish we have a mentally ill woman who talks non-stop no matter what is going on, including during Mass. She thinks she is being “sociable.” Short of throwing her out, nothing can be done about it.

Anyway, I’m going to sit in the middle next time. As I looked across the room I couldn’t take notice of anybody else acting that way. I think I just so happened to sit directly in front of two women that discretely talked to each other the entire time. Maybe God intended my first experience to be that way as a lesson? Note to self: don’t be a bashful wet noodle and sit in the corner.

That’s the spirit.

In my life growing up going to protestant services people would occasionally say something during a song or during the sermon, but it would be completely off-the-wall for two people to just sit there and have a 45 minute conversation. It was hard to focus on anything other than when they got up to go take the Eucharist. I wasn’t sure if it would have been appropriate to ask them to stop talking.

This sort of thing isn’t considered normal in Catholic Churches, either. If they seem to be of normal intelligence, you can turn around and just tell them that they are being very distracting.

Welcome!

 

[Michael57]

Instead of the back or middle, try the second row from the FRONT?

Pick the most saintly person, and sit right behind him, or her. And do that every Sunday.

Just a suggestion.

I sat behind “Pat” for the whole time I was going through RCIA, he always sat in the front row, and he was my father’s age. Every Sunday Mass, and every daily Mass I attended then.

I am very glad that I did.

 

[jmcrae]

Instead of the back or middle, try the second row from the FRONT?

Pick the most saintly person, and sit right behind him, or her. And do that every Sunday.

Just a suggestion.

I sat behind “Pat” for the whole time I was going through RCIA, he always sat in the front row, and he was my father’s age. Every Sunday Mass, and every daily Mass I attended then.

I am very glad that I did.

My first year of attending Mass, I sat behind a woman who had six children. I learned most of what I know about the Mass from what she taught her children each week.

 

[Urn]

I attended my first Mass tonight. I won’t give a commentary on my experience, but I’ll just say that I decided to sit in the corner, 2nd to last pew, and there were two women in the very back directly behind me that literally talked almost without interruption from beginning to end. I couldn’t fully make out their words but basically they talked about everything from the air conditioning in the building to how the priest should take a breath more often during the homily. They were actively talking ~90% of the time, including during the songs. Is this something that is prohibited during the Mass?

Anyway, I’m going to sit in the middle next time. As I looked across the room I couldn’t take notice of anybody else acting that way. I think I just so happened to sit directly in front of two women that discretely talked to each other the entire time. Maybe God intended my first experience to be that way as a lesson? Note to self: don’t be a bashful wet noodle and sit in the corner.

In my life growing up going to protestant services people would occasionally say something during a song or during the sermon, but it would be completely off-the-wall for two people to just sit there and have a 45 minute conversation. It was hard to focus on anything other than when they got up to go take the Eucharist. I wasn’t sure if it would have been appropriate to ask them to stop talking.

That’s unacceptable behavior. I’m still not sure why people so often act so rudely inside Catholic churches?

Someone said to turn around and to put your finger up to your lips to quiet them. I have done that during Mass too (loud talking is so prevalent before Mass that it would be a wasted effort.) The reactions have been:

• Embarrassment and immediate ceasing of talking. I think such people forgot where they were. They probably cannot see/hear what’s going on in the sanctuary so they just slid into a conversation.
• Defiant look, a few more sentences and then finally ceasing. These are the pigs. They know what they are doing is wrong but no one is going to tell them what to do! In many cases they also want to bring attention to themselves.

 

[po18guy]

Since the mass is the Church’s greatest prayer, the correct behavior is reverential and prayerful. After all, Christ is present in the Tabernacle before, during and after mass (with rare exceptions).

 

[bben15]

Their behavior was unacceptable. You’d think most people would know how to act during Mass, but apparently, they don’t.

It would probably be better to sit closer to the front. The people who want to talk during the most perfect prayer known to man wouldn’t dream of sitting in the front. The priest’s homily would keep interrupting them.

I always sit in the front row. It is the best seat in the house. “Why” do you ask? Because it is the quietest seat in the house. Of course, I go to a small parish. So no matter where you sit in the church, you can always hear a screaming child.

 

[TK421]

Thanks, it makes me feel a lot better to know that this sort of thing isn’t allowed. I wanted to activate God-in-the-book-of-Job Mode on them. Before I went inside I was thinking to myself how this would be such a memorable experience as the start of my first mass, and I suppose I was right in an unexpected sort of way. There was also a really tall guy (nice guy) that sat in front me, so I couldn’t even see the priest or the speakers. Plus I never grabbed a pamphlet so I had no clue how to respond whenever the assembly spoke. Basically, my first mass was absolutely awful

 

[bben15]

Thanks, it makes me feel a lot better to know that this sort of thing isn’t allowed. I wanted to activate God-in-the-book-of-Job Mode on them. Before I went inside I was thinking to myself how this would be such a memorable experience as the start of my first mass, and I suppose I was right in an unexpected sort of way. There was also a really tall guy (nice guy) that sat in front me, so I couldn’t even see the priest or the speakers. Plus I never grabbed a pamphlet so I had no clue how to respond whenever the assembly spoke. Basically, my first mass was absolutely awful

Next time you hear someone talking during Mass, punish them Old Testament style.

 

[TK421]

Heh. I’ll bring a Cat-O-Nine-Tails next time. If anybody asks I can just tell them it’s an insurance policy.

 

[L_Marshall]

Firstly: Congratulations on attending your first Mass.

I apologize for the folks sitting behind you, they shouldn’t have been having any conversations between themselves during Mass. Unfortunately, not all Catholics understand the concept of “Sacred Silence.”

If it ever happens again, I always just give a quick “shush,” or a glance over the shoulder. Usually, it gets the message across.

I’ve talked to a priest who says he’s been tempted to try and call down fire upon such people, but it wouldn’t be in the spirit of Christian charity, so the “shush” will have to work.

Anyways, best of luck with your future, and future Masses!

 

[CB_Catholic]

That’s unacceptable behavior. I’m still not sure why people so often act so rudely inside Catholic churches?

Someone said to turn around and to put your finger up to your lips to quiet them. I have done that during Mass too (loud talking is so prevalent before Mass that it would be a wasted effort.) The reactions have been:

• Embarrassment and immediate ceasing of talking. I think such people forgot where they were. They probably cannot see/hear what’s going on in the sanctuary so they just slid into a conversation.
• Defiant look, a few more sentences and then finally ceasing. These are the pigs. They know what they are doing is wrong but no one is going to tell them what to do! In many cases they also want to bring attention to themselves.

Calling people “pigs” is not acceptable behavior for a Catholic, either.

 

[confusedgirl]

Congrats on your first mass its always the best one for those looking to convert. I am going to say that usually I never talk at mass unless its something very very important that I’m telling my brother to do and it can’t wait but one time I did end up having a very long conversation at mass when I went to camp. I was sitting with a person who was quite a bad influence to me till one of the old ladies behind us shut us up and I didn’t say a word to the person till we went on the bus back to the training center. I feel horrible for that time and carefully chose who I sat next to for the rest of the summer. I get mad though when other people talk when they come in and I’m trying to pray or meditate on God before the mass. I came to mass a whole 30 minutes early and I could hear the volume increase every 2 minutes. But to be talking during the homily or when the mass actually starts is ridiculous! I never sit at the back of the church partially because of my stigmatism and because I don’t want to look through a sea of heads. I try to stay closer to the front at like the 5-10th row depending on how big the church is. I personally feel more comfortable there too much upfront and I can feel the alter servers and priests giving me dirty looks haha just kidding but try different seats. For me I have to be in the middle and not to the sides or on the balcony.

 

[Michael57]

My first year of attending Mass, I sat behind a woman who had six children. I learned most of what I know about the Mass from what she taught her children each week.

A woman with three young boys sat behind us. They were great.

The oldest boy, nine, was a “Patrick” too.

Later, I looked over my shoulder and saw the stained glass, and in it was St Patrick. I was close to using Patrick as my confirmation name.

 

[OurLadyPray4US]

Pick the most saintly person, and sit right behind him, or her. And do that every Sunday.

A note to myself: follow this advice.

I used to sit wherever, but then often some women with short shorts and tank tops would come and sit in front of me, leading me to scramble to move somewhere else.

Then I decided to sit in the front pew and pray the Rosary before Mass, and lo and behold a whole wedding party showed up in the most scandalous attire, and a bunch of ladies (bride and bridesmaids) were parading right in front of me with half of their breasts exposed, and it looked like they were going to have nipple slips at any moment as they were arranging themselves for photographs - but I closed my eyes and kept it closed all the way until Mass started, so I can’t document actually seeing those nipple slips…

So… it’s a good idea to sit behind someone who looks OK, and is dressed decently… if he’s a tall guy, it’s even better… I don’t want to see all those people, dressed immodestly…

 

[Cat]

Thanks, it makes me feel a lot better to know that this sort of thing isn’t allowed. I wanted to activate God-in-the-book-of-Job Mode on them. Before I went inside I was thinking to myself how this would be such a memorable experience as the start of my first mass, and I suppose I was right in an unexpected sort of way. There was also a really tall guy (nice guy) that sat in front me, so I couldn’t even see the priest or the speakers. Plus I never grabbed a pamphlet so I had no clue how to respond whenever the assembly spoke. Basically, my first mass was absolutely awful

Satan made a pretty good attempt to distract you, didn’t he? He must really really hate the fact that you are planning to become Catholic.

Be prepared for his salvos next time you go to Mass, and tell him to go away. As an Evangelical Protestant Christian, you know that you can invoke the blood of Jesus Christ against Satan, right?

Please, please, be careful not to allow Satan to get you to focus on man’s inadequacies instead of God’s provision. All too often, it seems that some people can’t get past the liturgical abuses and failings of the Mass, and they mourn the fact that they can’t find a “good Mass.”

It’s like seeing a bouquet of beautiful greenhouse flowers, but one of those flowers has a bent stem. It’s too bad, but the broken flower does not make the entire bouquet ugly.

The Mass is the re-presentation of Christ’s Holy Sacrifice on Calvary, and so it is the most solemn, momentous event that occurs here on Planet Earth. Heaven literally comes to earth during Mass.

But Mass is also a gathering of silly, sinful, and sorrowful people who are all at different places on their journey to heaven.

Remember that the music is presented by human beings, not angels, and therefore it will often be too loud or too soft or too modern or too ancient. Remember that children wake up from their naps cranky and sometimes cannot be quieted no matter what parents try. Remember that some older people are hard of hearing and have no idea that they are disturbing anyone–for them, the Mass is an opportunity to connect with dear ones who may not be alive the next week.

My organ teacher is the music minister in a very old Lutheran church. In the last two days, two elderly ladies, pillars of his church, died. They were at church last Sunday–he talked to them! But now they’re gone. I think that sometimes, older people are painfully aware of the reality of their own mortality, and so they hasten to greet their friends because they may not have another chance. Yes, it’s bad manners, but I try to cut them some slack.

And I agree with the poster who mentioned mental illness. We have a few people like that in the parish, who are not aware of their own social shortcomings. Again, cut slack.

And yes, we have people in the Mass who do not want to be there and who came only because of a feeling of obligation to their spouse, their parents, or their boyfriend/girlfriend. Frankly, I’m GLAD these people are there, because they will benefit from being in the Presence of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the presence of loving Christian people.

I hope my comments are helpful to you.

 

[LisaA]

Thanks, it makes me feel a lot better to know that this sort of thing isn’t allowed. I wanted to activate God-in-the-book-of-Job Mode on them. Before I went inside I was thinking to myself how this would be such a memorable experience as the start of my first mass, and I suppose I was right in an unexpected sort of way. There was also a really tall guy (nice guy) that sat in front me, so I couldn’t even see the priest or the speakers. Plus I never grabbed a pamphlet so I had no clue how to respond whenever the assembly spoke. Basically, my first mass was absolutely awful

TK421, I am delighted to hear you are Coming Home and planning a journey of conversion to the Chuch. Are you enrolled in the Parish’s RCIA yet?

I am so sorry your first Mass was so disturbing. What helped me as a convert was having my sponsor sit with me the first few times to give me some cues when to stand, kneel and also what to say and when. Makes for a more comfortable experience. If you don’t have a sponsor I might suggest getting to Mass a bit early, look around and see if someone is praying rather than chatting. Sit near them and I bet you will not hear conversation during the Mass. If you feel confident enough before going into the Sanctuary, introduce yourself to the Priest and/or Deacon and say you are interested in converting and would appreciate some guidance. They will likely introduce you to someone who can be a bit of a “Mass Mentor.”

As to Chatty Cathy and her friend, I guess rude people exist everywhere. Sitting in the back they were probably thinking they wouldn’t disturb anyone. I don’t think it was an accident they were away from the Priest so they could turn Mass into a social event. Also as someone said, they may have just been, uh lacking in judgment and decorum due to mental/emotional issues. We have a young woman who always sits in the front. She is very very large and very boisterous. So it’s obvious when she acts out. But little we can do. The Priest and Deacon have spoken to her but at one point she had a boyfriend who said she needed medication that she didn’t always take as required. So we just try to ignore her grand gesturing and loud voice.

Again wishing you the very best of joyous and inspiring journeys Home
Lisa

 

[LovedMyAlydar]

People talk in church all the time. Why?

They have never been told not to. When is the last time you heard a priest tell the folks that the church is a sanctuary and as such no talking is permitted? Probably never. Growing up our nuns told us to be quiet and pay attention to the mass, our parents told us to be quiet and pay attention to the mass. If anyone disobeyed, well, there were consequences. Also you were taught that since Jesus is in the sanctuary you need to act in a reverend manner and behave yourself. Now things like that might upset somebody or give them some sort of complex so it’s a free for all.

At our church you will not hear talking in the sanctuary and yes it is written down on a sheet of behaviors, along with a dress code. And the priest goes over the list from time to time.

Sitting in front won’t help with talkers, but then I have been to some masses where the priest is the one yucking it up before mass. There should not be any talking in the sanctuary before mass either. If you have to talk go outside and do it.