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RolandThompsonGunner
Guest
The priest definitely doesn’t need explicit details, but you need to be specific enough that he knows what you mean. If you just say “I sinned against this or that commandant” that’s probably too vague.
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edward_george1
Guest
“I sinned against the sixth commandment” doesn’t specify the action that was actually committed. There are many sins which violate the sixth commandment.
Yes, we confess the number of times, in the case of a mortal sin. But general circumstances are not necessary, unless they affect the gravity of the sin. A second ago you said not to be too detailed, now you’re saying to give detail that isn’t actually important a good bit of the time.
It is important to have the will not to commit the sin again. But “to feel very sorry” cannot ever be the most important thing of all. I’ve read the Gospels through several times, and I’m yet to encounter the part where Jesus commands us to feel anything, most likely because that would be ridiculous. How we feel has no bearing on whether we are forgiven. I feel nothing very often when I confess, but contrition and the desire for forgiveness are not feelings. They are acts of the will, not of the passions. Let’s not add to the nervousness of people, particularly if they are scrupulous, by telling them they have to feel a certain way when they go to confession.
-Fr ACEGC
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Aulef
Guest
Read again my post, carefuly and following the order it was written this time. I will highlight some key words.
The person should begin by saying that they sinned against the 6th Commandment (and probably against the 9th as well).
See the word “begin”? It implies there is a follow up.
Never be specific nor tell details…
Furhermore, Confess how many times and the general circumstances…
Quantity is not detail of the sin, neither are circumstances. The matter of sin is masturbation. Quantity and circumstances are its “surroundings”.
And the most important of all is to feel very sorry about it and have a strong will of not doing it anymore (even if the person fall once more due to weakness).
Feel very sorry (repentance) AND will of not doing it again. Both are the basis of a Confession to be valid.
The person should begin by saying that they sinned against the 6th Commandment (and probably against the 9th as well).
See the word “begin”? It implies there is a follow up.
Never be specific nor tell details…
Furhermore, Confess how many times and the general circumstances…
Quantity is not detail of the sin, neither are circumstances. The matter of sin is masturbation. Quantity and circumstances are its “surroundings”.
And the most important of all is to feel very sorry about it and have a strong will of not doing it anymore (even if the person fall once more due to weakness).
Feel very sorry (repentance) AND will of not doing it again. Both are the basis of a Confession to be valid.
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edward_george1
Guest
Feelings have absolutely nothing to do with the validity of a confession.
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Irishmom2
Guest
@Aulef, I doubt you need to tell @edward_george1 about the validity of a confession. He is a priest, in case you weren’t aware.
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edward_george1
Guest
Oh he’s aware, and he’s argued with me on many occasions about how to do my job.
And I thank him for reminding me why I took a break from the forum.
Later, folks.
And I thank him for reminding me why I took a break from the forum.
Later, folks.
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Irishmom2
Guest
That is disgraceful.
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Aulef
Guest
I didn’t know he is a priest.
Edit: if I did, I obvisouly forgot because I spent a long time away.
Edit: if I did, I obvisouly forgot because I spent a long time away.
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Aulef
Guest
Father, I didn’t know you were a priest. Yet, I maintain my words. Sorry if it sounded disrespectful.
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Aulef
Guest
Agreed. Thank you for correcting me on this issue. We have to be rationally sorry.
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Hawkmaid7
Guest
Just my two cents here; I’m super proud of you for coming to us with something so personal, and I’m proud of everyone who was honest and supportive - this is the kind of thing we’re here for! Be not afraid 
Emeraldlady
New member
If memory serves me correctly (it would have been 45 years ago) it was a Priest told us this. A priest used to come to religion class occasionally when I was in Catholic high school and answer questions that people wrote anonymously and had put in a box. He said to say “I’ve sinned against Holy Purity” then the Priest will ask “alone or with someone else?” and that would suffice.
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Tolle_Lege
Guest
Don’t sugarcoat anything. Saying out loud what you did will help you avoid the sin in the future. It should be an uncomfortable thing to say for a reason. Merely saying “I sinned against the 6th commandment” or “I was impure with myself” are cop-outs for saying what you really did.
It’s like if you embezzled $100,000 from your company and said something like “I sinned against the 7th commandment” or “I took something that wasn’t mine.” I mean, does this really get across the severity of your sin?
Trying a “softer approach” by eliminating the most uncomfortable words about the reality of your sins is not helpful (not that you have to get into extreme detail). And nobody should try to justify a soft approach by thinking, “well, does the priest really need to hear this? I don’t want to scandalize / shock / make him uncomfortable” etc. It’s his job to hear you. Don’t trick yourself and say you’re “doing the priest a favor” by holding back certain words.
It’s like if you embezzled $100,000 from your company and said something like “I sinned against the 7th commandment” or “I took something that wasn’t mine.” I mean, does this really get across the severity of your sin?
Trying a “softer approach” by eliminating the most uncomfortable words about the reality of your sins is not helpful (not that you have to get into extreme detail). And nobody should try to justify a soft approach by thinking, “well, does the priest really need to hear this? I don’t want to scandalize / shock / make him uncomfortable” etc. It’s his job to hear you. Don’t trick yourself and say you’re “doing the priest a favor” by holding back certain words.
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Nigel7
Guest
“I masturbated x time/s”
Done
Done
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DuskWind
Guest
“I was unchaste with myself x amount of times.” Or “I sinned against the virtue of chastity x number of times while I was alone.”
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B79
Guest
Please pray for me as I decide soon how best to warn my 14-year-old son about porn and masturbation. I was about that age when I started the latter. God spare him its addictive character and slavery to sin, as His grace freed me for chastity. Confessing it was essential to overcoming it. I’m happy to help anyone here who might benefit from advice.
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DuskWind
Guest
B79
What if you taught him about the message of Fatima…
There’s a new Fatima movie coming out in August - maybe the two of you could go see it. It might be a great opportunity to spend quality time with your son and introduce him to the Blessed Mother if you haven’t already done so. That could be the perfect springboard for talking about the whole sins of the flesh thing, and about how sins of the flesh cause the damnation of most souls. The Rosary is also a powerful weapon for conquering vice.
Just throwing some things out there that you may or may not have considered.
Also,
“Whatever is true,
whatever is honorable,
whatever is just,
whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely,
whatever is gracious,
if there is any excellence,
if there is anything worthy of praise,
think about these things.”
Phillippians 4:8
What better way to fulfill the above verse than to rest one’s head near Our Lady’s Immaculate Heart and contemplate its palpitations.
Peace and prayers
Dusk
What if you taught him about the message of Fatima…
There’s a new Fatima movie coming out in August - maybe the two of you could go see it. It might be a great opportunity to spend quality time with your son and introduce him to the Blessed Mother if you haven’t already done so. That could be the perfect springboard for talking about the whole sins of the flesh thing, and about how sins of the flesh cause the damnation of most souls. The Rosary is also a powerful weapon for conquering vice.
Just throwing some things out there that you may or may not have considered.
Also,
“Whatever is true,
whatever is honorable,
whatever is just,
whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely,
whatever is gracious,
if there is any excellence,
if there is anything worthy of praise,
think about these things.”
Phillippians 4:8
What better way to fulfill the above verse than to rest one’s head near Our Lady’s Immaculate Heart and contemplate its palpitations.
Peace and prayers
Dusk
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B79
Guest
Thanks for the idea! I will think about that.
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