How to convert cafeteria Catholics...

[RomanCrusader]

I think cafeteria Catholics are the toughest of all to convert. Their attitudes are a mixture of indifference and stubborness. They ignore Church doctrine, and all the while they are convinced of their salvation because they attend Christmas Mass and pray once a year. They don’t bother to learn about the faith or its history and they don’t actively participate in the body of Christ. Their a tough batch.

Both of my parents are in this category. I love them both immensly and thats why I desire that they embrace the fullness of truth.

Problem is, I don’t know where to begin. They barely have a basic understanding of Christianity itself and I don’t know where to begin. How am I supposed to get them to become active Christians and learn about Church doctrines and participate when they don’t know much about religion?

They attend Christmas and Easter Mass, and a few Sunday masses during the summer. Its not good and I’m worried so much for them! Any advice would be truly appreciated!

 

[water]

The first 2 things to start with:
1- live your live as an example of a faithful Catholic
2- pray unceasingly for your parents and others: Rosary, Devine Mercy, Adoration, and other devotions.

This is how I should do to - I have friend who is going to Church once a year if and only if this friend was forced to go. I can be patient and pray and some day when I believe God gives me a sign to start talking with the friend more about what God says in the Bible. Right now, I know it is best to live my life as a good example and to pray hard for my friend. This is a good start for me as it could be for you.

 

[Veritas41]

The first 2 things to start with:
1- live your live as an example of a faithful Catholic
2- pray unceasingly for your parents and others: Rosary, Devine Mercy, Adoration, and other devotions.

This is how I should do to - I have friend who is going to Church once a year if and only if this friend was forced to go. I can be patient and pray and some day when I believe God gives me a sign to start talking with the friend more about what God says in the Bible. Right now, I know it is best to live my life as a good example and to pray hard for my friend. This is a good start for me as it could be for you.

That is good advice, and I would just add it’s very important to remember that conversion is a gift of God, and even if we’re doing all the “right” things, it’s still not going to bring anyone to conversion unless God is also at work in the person’s heart. Prayer is the #1 thing --for your parents, and also for you to know the best way to evangelize your parents. Often it’s hard for parents to listen to their children about spiritual matters, so perhaps you should pray that God will send other people into their lives to show them the truth as well. I was in a similar situation with my mother, and mostly I prayed for her, and I shared the truth in a non-confrontational way as opportunities came up (a question she asked, or comment she made, etc.) It took years, but slowly she came around. She didn’t have a dramatic Damascus-road conversion, but a more gradual enlightenment and turning to Christ.

Be respectful always.

 

[blessedtoo]

I think cafeteria Catholics are the toughest of all to convert. Their attitudes are a mixture of indifference and stubborness. They ignore Church doctrine, and all the while they are convinced of their salvation because they attend Christmas Mass and pray once a year. They don’t bother to learn about the faith or its history and they don’t actively participate in the body of Christ. Their a tough batch.

Beautiful replies! Absolutely wonderful advice. Pray ceaselessly!

I feel your pain, friend. Everyone in my life (except my parents, who prayed for my re-conversion!) is either cafeteria or fallen-away. I sometimes chuckle when I listen to CA apologists talking about the conversion of our Christian brothers outside the Catholic Church. We have so much work to do INSIDE our Church that it could take a lifetime! The hardest concept for me to accept is that I am not the agent of a person’s conversion. God, hopefully, will find me worthy enough to use as a catalyst and servant, but other than answering questions, praying constantly and living the holiest life possible, the rest is in the hands of the Holy Spirit. To help myself understand my role in this miracle of conversion, I need only recall my own re-conversion to know that it was entirely the hand of God. My folks had to wait 25 years for their prayers to be answered! But there is no question in my mind that it was God Himself who broke into my heart and set me free enough to begin to hear Him, feel Him, and learn all about Him. Have faith! And remember also that we will never know how we impact those around us. We may not see the conversions we have assisted until we get to Heaven!

 

[mommyof4]

Your replies are comforting me, too. I pray for the Holy Spirit to convert my husband from being a lukewarm, prideful fallen-away Catholic to a man who is set on fire with the HS! Nice dream, huh? It’s hard to see someone you love so much be so dead set against the Church.

 

[Kevin42]

Show them nothing but love and compassion. My parents are also in this category, but I can see them slooooowly creeping towards full understanding. I think in their case, alot of blame can be placed on poor, poor catachesis. They probably don’t realize how wrong they may be on some issues. Either way, just love them, and be compassionate. Whatever you do, don’t alienate them by calling them cafateria Catholics. Most people hate that “holier-than-thou” attitude, and it does nothing to draw them toward Christ. Give them an example to follow, but don’t push them to hard. Be patient, and pray. Just remember, whatever you do, do it out of love. “If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.”

 

[vince2paul]

I agree with the comments given here.
Pray, go to the Blessed Sacrament ask Jesus to have mercy on them and the Holy Spirit to guide you always. In the beginning, I also had similar thought, but after awhile I realised there’s nothing much to do (I know many people who seldom attend church).

Set a good example and think what Jesus would do - show compassion and love. If you live with your parents, you can start to pray together; may be saying grace before/after meal, pray rosary together.

God bless you.

 

[Augustine]

My heart goes out to you. Our families are those we love most in this world and it aches to see them far from the abundance of love that Jesus offers us through Himself.

I find myself in the same situation as yours, with a gnostic father and a disillusioned mother after the sex scandals and demeaning attitude of some clerics. I pray for their conversion everyday and whenever given the chance I try to restrict my defenses of the faith to a couple of sentences so as to not foment a discussion, but just to plant a seed. By the grace of God the Holy Spirit will water the seed and it’ll blossom and I won’t be a thorn suffocating its growth through my example.

 

[McKevin]

Set a good example and think what Jesus would do - show compassion and love. If you live with your parents, you can start to pray together; may be saying grace before/after meal, pray rosary together.

God bless you.

I second and third everything everyone’s said so far…and add this scripture to back up Vince2Paul’s advice of being an example:

1st Timothy Chapter 4:

12
Let no one have contempt for your youth, but set an example for those who believe, in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity.

<>
McKevin

 

[Polish]

I think there are a lot of families out there who have caferteria Catholic members. Arguing with them seems to be useless and only alienates them further. Only the Holy Spirit can change their hearts; we can just pray for them and lead by example.

I too have a close relative who says there is no hell, women should be priests, women should have the choice on whether to give birth to a child or not, etc. etc. etc. She attends Mass in a charasmatic church and does good works as long as the works are on an “intellectual” level and donates financially. She’s liberal and a feminist. The list could go on and on.

So I pray for her, try and show Christian love for her whenever we meet, and put her in God’s hands.

 

[baylee]

Show them nothing but love and compassion. My parents are also in this category, but I can see them slooooowly creeping towards full understanding. I think in their case, alot of blame can be placed on poor, poor catachesis. They probably don’t realize how wrong they may be on some issues. Either way, just love them, and be compassionate. Whatever you do, don’t alienate them by calling them cafateria Catholics. Most people hate that “holier-than-thou” attitude, and it does nothing to draw them toward Christ. Give them an example to follow, but don’t push them to hard. Be patient, and pray. Just remember, whatever you do, do it out of love. “If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.”

You know, for most “cafeteria Catholics” I would agree, but for those that insist they are not Cafeteria Catholics despite being very vocal in their dissent, I just don’t care anymore whether they hate being called that. They are polluting the Church…they are like a cancer. I don’t think our earlier saints cared too much about hurting feelings when it came to the Truth. I do not like hurting people’s feelings or people not liking me for saying certain things, but I hate their dissent more.

 

[thistle]

The first 2 things to start with:
1- live your live as an example of a faithful Catholic
2- pray unceasingly for your parents and others: Rosary, Devine Mercy, Adoration, and other devotions.

This is how I should do to - I have friend who is going to Church once a year if and only if this friend was forced to go. I can be patient and pray and some day when I believe God gives me a sign to start talking with the friend more about what God says in the Bible. Right now, I know it is best to live my life as a good example and to pray hard for my friend. This is a good start for me as it could be for you.

We should stop using the expression Cafeteria Catholics. That is simply a dressed up expression for heretics. Call them what they are. That is heretics.

 

[perro_sarnoso]

I think cafeteria Catholics are the toughest of all to convert. Their attitudes are a mixture of indifference and stubborness. They ignore Church doctrine, and all the while they are convinced of their salvation because they attend Christmas Mass and pray once a year. They don’t bother to learn about the faith or its history and they don’t actively participate in the body of Christ. Their a tough batch.

Both of my parents are in this category. I love them both immensly and thats why I desire that they embrace the fullness of truth.

Problem is, I don’t know where to begin. They barely have a basic understanding of Christianity itself and I don’t know where to begin. How am I supposed to get them to become active Christians and learn about Church doctrines and participate when they don’t know much about religion?

They attend Christmas and Easter Mass, and a few Sunday masses during the summer. Its not good and I’m worried so much for them! Any advice would be truly appreciated!

Unfortunately these are some of the ones spoken of in scripture: neither cold nor hot…vomt.

 

[Trebor135]

We should stop using the expression Cafeteria Catholics. That is simply a dressed up expression for heretics. Call them what they are. That is heretics.

Point taken. But for the sake of prudence, the use of such an incendiary term is inadvisable; the individual so described will likely wonder, if not ask, whether burning at the stake is being envisioned. And the image of devout Christians as raving fanatics is not something to be promoted, deliberately or inadvertently, blatantly or subtly.

 

[thistle]

Point taken. But for the sake of prudence, the use of such an incendiary term is inadvisable; the individual so described will likely wonder, if not ask, whether burning at the stake is being envisioned. And the image of devout Christians as raving fanatics is not something to be promoted, deliberately or inadvertently, blatantly or subtly.

I don’t agree. The Church has a teaching about heresy and not cafeterianism.
Any Catholic who rejects one or more infallible teachings of the Church is a heretic. No point in pussyfooting around that. The Church uses the term heresy so we should not try to dress that up to make someone feel good. This is one of the problems. Such people don’t take rejecting Church teachings seriously. We should call them what the Church calls them and inform them of the serious consequences of their position.

 

[Ahimsa]

Any Catholic who rejects one or more infallible teachings of the Church is a heretic.

Could someone give me a source that lists all the infallible teachings of the Church?

 

[Elizabeth502]

Before receiving such a list, Ahimsa, you need to understand something that many Catholics do not understand:

Infallibility relates to Papal statements, in certain conditions & circumstances, and regarding faith and morals.

Separate from that is the phrase, ‘free from error,’ which is attributed to all the moral teachings handed down from the magisterium (the teaching authority). Thus, everything in the Catechism, crafted as it is by The Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, can be considered to be free from spiritual error, and it is approved of by the Papal office.

Catholics are not at liberty, when evaluating their genuine adherence to their faith, to dispense of the body of magisterial teachings and subscribe only to the handful of technically “infallible” Papal pronouncements.

 

[baylee]

Unfortunately these are some of the ones spoken of in scripture: neither cold nor hot…vomt.

And actually, some are very hot…against Church teachings. They truly believe that they know better and really do believe that they can change the Church from within. They believe that dissent is allowed in the Church. Honestly, I think they are worse than the heretics of the 1500’s.

We should stop using the expression Cafeteria Catholics. That is simply a dressed up expression for heretics. Call them what they are. That is heretics.

You’re right. I see it as a gentler way of saying the same thing. I can just imagine the reaction one would get to that.

Before receiving such a list, Ahimsa, you need to understand something that many Catholics do not understand:

Infallibility relates to Papal statements, in certain conditions & circumstances, and regarding faith and morals.

Separate from that is the phrase, ‘free from error,’ which is attributed to all the moral teachings handed down from the magisterium (the teaching authority). Thus, everything in the Catechism, crafted as it is by The Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, can be considered to be free from spiritual error, and it is approved of by the Papal office.

Catholics are not at liberty, when evaluating their genuine adherence to their faith, to dispense of the body of magisterial teachings and subscribe only to the handful of technically “infallible” Papal pronouncements.

Wouldn’t you say that most of the catechism is just that (bolded)?

 

[Ahimsa]

Before receiving such a list, Ahimsa, you need to understand something that many Catholics do not understand:

Infallibility relates to Papal statements, in certain conditions & circumstances, and regarding faith and morals.

Separate from that is the phrase, ‘free from error,’ which is attributed to all the moral teachings handed down from the magisterium (the teaching authority). Thus, everything in the Catechism, crafted as it is by The Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, can be considered to be free from spiritual error, and it is approved of by the Papal office.

Catholics are not at liberty, when evaluating their genuine adherence to their faith, to dispense of the body of magisterial teachings and subscribe only to the handful of technically “infallible” Papal pronouncements.

In other words, are you saying that “Any Catholic who rejects one or more teachings found in the CCC is a heretic”?

 

[Yab_Yum]

We should stop using the expression Cafeteria Catholics. That is simply a dressed up expression for heretics. Call them what they are. That is heretics.

So quick to damn.