How to deal with Adult bullying-- Isolation

[LaughingBoy1503]

I don’t know that you disagree with me, so I’m not correcting you, but I want to be clear what is being said: this kind of aggression isn’t just an attack on your imagination, something that you can always decide away. It is an attack on your interpersonal relationships and your self-confidence that you are competent in interpersonal relationships.

It isn’t just the aggression of females. It happens in office politics among men, too, and happened in court politics centuries ago. It is the aggression that is most common when relationships are the coin of the realm, who you know and who favors who, who is “in” and who is “out.” (Yes, for most females in middle school, calling their interpersonal relationships “valuable” puts it mildly.) It also happens among grown men when direct aggression isn’t possible, though, as in “political intrigue.”

When someone moves cut you off from your grandmother or distance you from your other relatives, especially when it is by means that you can’t see and can’t stop, that is not imaginary aggression. That is real aggression. That is an emotional ambush. Yes, sometimes it is de-fanged simply by being exposed. That is why it is usually covert. That does not make it less real or less damaging while the machine is in operation.

So no, it is not getting stabbed or shot. Yes, it is a problem that can sometimes be neutralized by calling it out for what it is. It is real, nonetheless.

Yeah, we call that stuff being a little weasel. Attacking by little sneaky weasel like inuendos and purposely doing things to push someone els’s buttons. It can be a attack on the mind. For someone who spent as much time with drug addicts and scandalous people I have seen more of this that I care to admit. If this is “bullying” I have been “bullied” But the person who has lived less of a crazy life than me probably sees this go on at work sometimes or among their less mature family.

I never said it was all imaginary. Yes, it is real and yes it can wreak havoc on the mind. My point was that the perceived threat of this should not keep one away from their 90 year old Grandmother who only God knows how long she has to live. That is why I ask “what is the worst this relative is going to do?” That is what I meant. Nobody is really keeping anyone away from Grandma. She can still go. The fear is in the mind, but this situation is not a REAL threat. Depending on how mentally stable a person is, a little mental discomfort is not a REAL threat like if a person with a violent temper tells you “If you come around hear, I am going to kill you”

 

[Gordon_Sims]

“Shake the dust from your feet.”

Seriously, we were put through hell for 20 years by awful, self-centered, bullying family members. Cutting ties with them was one of the best things we’ve ever done. It didn’t resolve all the problems, but not having to see them or put up with the abuse is emancipating. Try to see your grandmother when you can but don’t subject yourself to the toxic attitudes and behavior.