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ChangedMan
Guest
Any advice would be helpful thank you guys.
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RichT
Guest
It might be helpful for you to explain some of the issues, without being overly graphic of course. Some of us have experience in different issues, having struggled with them ourselves, and may share some things in common. Knowing a little more might help us to answer your question.
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PaulGH
Guest
I’ll have to make some assumptions about exactly what the issue is, but let me give a few pieces of advice. First, there is no magic bullet that will solve your problem overnight. But here are some things that might help:
- Avoid temptation. If you are tempted by explicit images on your computer (or smartphone or tablet), then set up a filtering system (such as K9 Web Protection or OpenDNS, both of which are free), and let someone else set the password, so that you don’t have it.
- Avoid being alone as much as possible. (Or if you are talking about temptation with your girlfriend, then avoid situations where the two of you are alone at your place or at her place.)
- Stay busy. Work, exercise, participate in church activities, take up hobbies, whatever, but stay busy.
- Go to confession as often as needed.
- When temptation comes, pray. If you are usually tempted most strongly at a certain time of day, then make that time of day a regular prayer time. You could pray the rosary, or the Divine Office (Liturgy of the Hours), or whatever you prefer.
- Don’t give up hope, and don’t despair of God’s mercy.
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mountee
Guest
People have to make choices in their life and as Catholics we are very fortunate to have a clear set of rules that guide us. We also have to opportunity to bear our souls in confession, receive guidance and absolution and move on trying to honor and obey God. Make your choice, I couldn’t care less about the details, present them to a priest in confession and move on in your life. There is a time and a place and a season for everything, now is the time to get serious. You can spin your wheels while you wait or you can just accept that there is one way to get back on track… Take your issues to confession, repent and amend your life. God bless this journey.
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beaumains
Guest
J.M.J.
I agree with Paul’s replies, and I would add a few things that helped me when I was younger:
I agree with Paul’s replies, and I would add a few things that helped me when I was younger:
- Spend time in front of the Blessed Sacrament, daily if you can manage it, and lay your heart open before the Lord
- Pray Our Lady’s Rosary - she’s a refuge for anybody struggling with impurity
- Find people who you admire, spend time with them. Having friends who are living a virtuous life makes virtuous actions of our own so much easier
- Lastly, don’t get discouraged! It’s one of Satan’s worst temptations to make us dwell to much on our sins, and it’s actually a kind of pride, thinking, “How could a good person like me have done something like this?” or on the other hand, “I’ll never get out of this.” If you fall, pick up, say an Act of Contrition to Our Lord, ask him for help in the future, and carry on.
God bless! Yours in Christ and Our Lady,
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Michael19682
Guest
Remember that other forms of immorality exist for which you do not offend God and that whatever or whomever is tormenting you (excessively, or at all) should not be judging you–whether or not that person or thing thinks it has mastered chastity. If you like, maybe you can pray over these verses for general encouragement, they came to mind just now:
Mt 10:34
Mt 10:35
35 For I have come to set
a man ‘against his father,
a daughter against her mother,
and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law;
and one’s enemies will be those of his household.’
I think that once the fight against sin has begun, it sometimes involves living with the enemy in very very close quarters. The temptation to sin is not only in the world’s vestiges of evil, but within our own will to conquer and rise within that very world. They think along the lines of “If you can’t beat 'em, join 'em” and “Take what you can get, while the getting is good”Perhaps because of Mt 24:15-28 and the parables, I now have some discernment that in what is not gospel, but pulp art as a whole, the voice of the evil one operates by first soothing you with simulated hope for fulfillment of virtuous desire, and then when your guard is lowered it springs hell’s rhetoric on you. I now use the radio to build tolerance to, or awareness of, both falsehood and truth. It involves no real participation other than active listening. So I learn to exercise control and can enjoy the sounds without undue need to fight because I have confidence and knowledge of God and enough forgiveness to let go of the anger.
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
Put an image of the Virgin Mary on your desktop as your background.
Pray the rosary.
Go to confession. Often.
Go to adoration. Often.
Go to Mass. Often.
Talk to your priest.
Get an accountability partner.
Join a support group.
Don’t spend time with girls alone in a room with a bed.
Do physical exercise.
Read Aquinas.
Read Theology of the Body.
Think of your future daughters.
Think of your future wife.
Avoid near occasions of sin.
Pray the rosary.
Go to confession. Often.
Go to adoration. Often.
Go to Mass. Often.
Talk to your priest.
Get an accountability partner.
Join a support group.
Don’t spend time with girls alone in a room with a bed.
Do physical exercise.
Read Aquinas.
Read Theology of the Body.
Think of your future daughters.
Think of your future wife.
Avoid near occasions of sin.
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kyria
Guest
Regular confession and try this site Catholic Support Group for Sexual Addictions Recovery
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Soren_Itenu
Guest
Pray the Rosary, and ask Mama for help!
Ask St. Joseph, guardian of chastity, for help. He’ll kick your butt…all for your own good!
Ask St. Joseph, guardian of chastity, for help. He’ll kick your butt…all for your own good!
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hamandcheese
Guest
You must pray like everyone has mentioned but you must also fast. One regular size meal a day no snacks. Keep yourself physically hungry and when impure thoughts enter your mind say the St. Michael prayer and chase them out. If all you do is walk around all day saying the St. Michael prayer every two seconds that’s what you have to do. Don’t let yourself entertain these thoughts even for a moment. Think of the human dignity inherent in all people made in the image of and loved by God. Think of Mother Teresa pulling the sick and dying off the streets and administering to them. Loving them the way God calls all of us to love each other. She was a warrior on the front lines in the war against evil in this life and that’s what you have to be a brutal soldier against these temptations.
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silentfactor80
Guest
I am assuming you are a guy based on your UN and most likely straight. We had another thread like this one recently so I will say the same here I said there.
- Realize that the only woman in this world who probably cares about you is your mother and that’s because its a hormonal thing. The rest would probably laugh or careless if you croaked tomorrow.
- Most women have a bit of feminist in them which means they think you owe them the world to pay for the crimes of some evil male instituted “patriarchal conspiracy.” Consequently the women you look at most likely think they owe you nothing in return.
- If you still are not convinced Google “feminism is a hate group” and see what the lovely ladies you desire actually think about you. If that doesn’t turn you off then post back.
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mommamaree
Guest
This is so hateful. Do you not know a single truly good woman? Not a mother, sister, or friend, who is Godly and kind and loving?
A mother loves her son, yes, but not “because it’s a hormonal thing”, and it was unkind to the OP to tell him the only woman who loves him does so because of hormones. It was also unkind to him to tell him women hate him.
Do you really want to help the OP, or just spew more hatred at CAF? Because your post is full of lies and mean-spirited accusations. You do know who the father of lies is, don’t you? You do know who was the first hater of woman, don’t you? Because I am sure that you do not want to be associated in any way with that entity.
What happened to you, SilentFactor? You went from a man who wanted to battle injustices in this world to being a sower of strife.
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silentfactor80
Guest
I never said he had to hate women. No where in my post did I even use that word. I don’t hate women either. I am just indifferent towards them and prefer they stay at a distance from me especially emotionally. So far so good
Every guy battles sexual immorality at some point or another and it is hard to explain what that is like to most woman. It also doesn’t help that many women are terrified of men because you know “we all want one thing.” The answer seems to be make monsters out of us and slap a warning label on our proverbial foreheads.
Most guys think every woman on this Earth wants a piece of them. It this overly optimistic attitude that creates over confidence in a lot of guys and they wrongly pursue women in this spirit. Most guys that watch porn for instance in a sub-conscience way think those girls “are there for them.” I realized this many years ago and was freed when I opened my eyes to the truth that most women either use you for a laugh or a buck.
I am trying to wake guys up and realize they shouldn’t be giving away their valuable sexuality so freely to women who 1) reject / dishonor it or 2) exploit it for personal gain. Both men and women gain from this because if guys got more conservative in their sexuality, women wouldn’t have to worry about things like unwanted advances or worse rape (fighting injustice in my own way). Men wouldn’t have to worry about getting into trouble either.
Bold: My mom is a nice lady but she is an exception to the rule. Heck even she complains about women lol
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Joy2day
Guest
Couldn’t agreemore. Silentfactor’s post is simply sad. You dont prevent one sin by turning it into another - eg hatred of women & of women who might call themselves ‘feminist’. Bad advice, & the next post doesnt justify it either. Its not us & them, & bad experiences dont justify it. Fueling hatred & fear is not the way to prevent a sin. The major fault is the consistent use of ‘most guys think…’ & ‘most women think…’. Seriously?? (omg)
If the OP actually believed this ‘advice’ he’d need a psychiatrist.
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mommamaree
Guest
You used the word “hate” twice in your first post in this thread, in reference to how much women hate men, and you specifically stated that womankind (the beings the OP desires) “quite frankly hates” the OP. Your post was full of angry and misogynistic words about women. You are indeed sowing strife with your posts, sir, and I kindly ask you to reconsider your words and your motives. I have seen the tone of your posting at CAF change rapidly, and not for the better.I never said he had to hate women. No where in my post did I even use that word. I don’t hate women either. I am just indifferent towards them and prefer they stay at a distance from me especially emotionally. So far so good
Every guy battles sexual immorality at some point or another and it is hard to explain what that is like to most woman. It also doesn’t help that many women are terrified of men because you know “we all want one thing.” The answer seems to be make monsters out of us and slap a warning label on our proverbial foreheads.
Most guys think every woman on this Earth wants a piece of them. It this overly optimistic attitude that creates over confidence in a lot of guys and they wrongly pursue women in this spirit. Most guys that watch porn for instance in a sub-conscience way think those girls “are there for them.” I realized this many years ago and was freed when I opened my eyes to the truth that most women either use you for a laugh or a buck.
I am trying to wake guys up and realize they shouldn’t be giving away their valuable sexuality so freely to women who 1) reject / dishonor it or 2) exploit it for personal gain. Both men and women gain from this because if guys got more conservative in their sexuality, women wouldn’t have to worry about things like unwanted advances or worse rape (fighting injustice in my own way). Men wouldn’t have to worry about getting into trouble either.
Bold: My mom is a nice lady but she is an exception to the rule. Heck even she complains about women lol
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KostyaJMJ
Guest
Wimmenz are all icky and have cooties. Stay away from wimmenz.
Unless you want cooties that is.
Or to feel all icky.
because women are gross.
Unless you want cooties that is.
Or to feel all icky.
because women are gross.
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hamandcheese
Guest
/-]
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This is not Catholic teaching. The church teaches that we are all unique individuals. You cant lump all women together like that and say they are all a bunch of nags or whatever. You are right when you say feminism is out of order but not all women subscribe to that.
I think you are sketchy anyway with this “give them anything as powerful as your sexuality” jive. That sounds like hippy talk!
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silentfactor80
Guest
Again, I never told the OP to hate women. I am merely educating him that his level of attraction is not warranted. It is not reciprocated. Rather all I did was charge that many women are closet misandrists. My post can hardly be misogynistic when I am not advocating hating women. My claims were that many women hate men. Hate can take many forms and doesn’t necessarily manifest as malevolent acts.
When a majority of people are doing or suffering from the same thing it is likely that they have the same or similar thoughts. I’m trying to help him avoid sin by seeing the truth. Again I am not advocating hating anybody. I am advocating taking responsibility for oneself and putting a healthy barrier between oneself and what leads one to sin. Its working for me and I have peace in my almost woman-free life. It is quite wonderful to walk on a beach and not have a heart attack or feel like a bump on a log b/c of a lack of romance. I’ve seen too many guys get depressed over not having a lady in their life as if that were a bad thing. I think its a good thing and many men are starting to realize this. Once we get past the sex issues and put that energy to better use we are free and true freedom feels great!Couldn’t agreemore. Silentfactor’s post is simply sad. You dont prevent one sin by turning it into another - eg hatred of women & of women who might call themselves ‘feminist’. Bad advice, & the next post doesnt justify it either. Its not us & them, & bad experiences dont justify it. Fueling hatred & fear is not the way to prevent a sin. The major fault is the consistent use of ‘most guys think…’ & ‘most women think…’. Seriously?? (omg)
We are all unique individuals that sacrifice our individuality to fit in. Ever hear of peer pressure?
Let me clarify what I meant by the last statement. I meant to say that he should not be allowing anyone to lead him into sin by giving them influence over him. Once you start believing in or chasing evil you give it influence over you. The power of influence is one men give to women too easily. It is time to correct that. Men and women will be better off in the long run.
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severus68
Guest
Enough with your ‘women are terrible’ rhetoric. You use every opportunity to push your agenda.
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silentfactor80
Guest
There is no agenda or rhetoric to my posts. I’m just trying to help a fellow man out. Tired of hearing “women are terrible” already? Geeze we’ve been hearing “men are terrible” for the last 100 years or so but we didn’t get tired of that so quickly.
For the record though women aren’t terrible, just the unfortunate influence nature (or culture) gave them over men. It is correctable though.
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