How to explain "adultery" to a 7 year old

[Cricket2]

Try telling her that mom and dad are really each others very best friend and that you had her and siblings together because you love each other. Then tell her this means that neither of you can have a baby with someone else because you are married as a sign of that special love.

My siblings and I understood this by the age of 5. So I don’t see a 7 or 8 year old not getting it. We also understood how babies came to be, and not by the Stork, if you get my meaning. Your relationship is very special and she needs to know that.

I know people worry about teaching the “facts of life” to early, but honesty if done well, with sincerity and honesty, kids can handle it. You could tell her that moms and dads have a special way of showing each other they love each other and through this babies are made. This means that only mom and dad can do this with each other, and if they did it with someone else that would be adultery. (Special hugs and kisses??)

 

[3DOCTORS]

What I would say:

Adultery is when a grown-up man or woman decides to break their marriage promise and start acting like the husband or wife of someone they are not married to. (In our house we’d say “being all lovey-dovey” but you can word it however you term being “cozy” with your spouse.)

Then I’d tell her:

For you right now, following this commandment means being respectful of your own body - since you’re not grown up yet - taking care of it, keeping your private parts private, etc.

At that age it’s usually all about the mechanics (be careful not to say “kissing someone you’re not married to” or else you’re going to be accused of adultery if you kiss Grandma! LOL!). So give the basic concept, then let her know how it applies to her right now in the form of modesty and self-care, and you should be fine.

This was how I understood it as a kid - from CCD classes I guess - in my child mind I think I thought of it as hugging and kissing someone else’s spouse - or someone besides your own spouse. I grew up in a more innocent age. But if your child is still innocent enough that this would work just fine, I wouldn’t bring in the birds and bees to complicate things just yet. :twocents:

 

[EasterJoy]

I think I would say that we belong to God–not just our minds and hearts, but also our bodies, and we are to give glory to God in all we do with our bodies and how we treat others with respect to their bodies. Although the commandment refers to not sharing the closeness of a husband and wife with someone who is not your husband or not your wife, which is a sin against their real husband or wife, it also refers to all the things we must do to treat our bodies and the bodies of others as holy. God means for our bodies to be temples of the Holy Spirit, even more than a church is.

In other words, I would explain that strictly speaking “adultery” is when people wrongly act together as if they were married when at least one of them is actually married to someone else, but that the commandment refers to our duty to do all the things that keep our bodies holy and that keeps marriage holy.

A similar example would be the commandment “thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” Strictly speaking, that means we are forbidden from lying about other people, especially in a situation like court, where they are being judged. The commandment as a whole, though, has to do with respecting the truth and the power of words. After all, it isn’t a lie to tell everyone about something bad that someone else did that is no one else’s business, but that is still a sin against the truth, because it is using the truth about someone in a way that we ought to see will hurt them. Most of the commandments are like that–that is, there is more to them than just the strict meaning of the rule.

There is always a danger in oversimplifying the catechism, because it leads the child open to embarrassment. Children should be told that “adultery” has a narrow meaning but that the commandment has a wide scope. Otherwise, some day they will find the literal meaning of the word “adultery,” maybe by using it in the wrong context in a group where their mistake gets them laughed at, and they will wonder what else you haven’t been telling them. You should let them know when to use a word like “adultery” and when the word “impure” is a better choice.

 

[pianistclare]

The approach I took with my kids at that age was, as CradleJourney wrote, to talk about marriage vows. We promise to have a special relationship with only one person, our spouse, for as long as we both live. I think I also connected it to the special and sacred nature of the family: one father and one mother who love and care for their children and each other in a special way. Kids understand that. Adultery then can be explained as breaking that marriage promise, with the consequence of disrupting the family order.

Excellent. Yes.

 

[on_the_hill]

I’m hoping that your child is learning the entirety of the commandment, and it isn’t just be summarized as ‘Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife’

That is they have been presented the entire commandment:
“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, his male or female slave, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

I posted exactly on this topic a few months ago.

My daughter wrote out the commandments . The CCC uses the word *ss instead of donkey. When she got to the part about coveting the neighbor’s *ss, she wrote, “booty.”

 

[styrgwillidar]

I posted exactly on this topic a few months ago.

My daughter wrote out the commandments . The CCC uses the word *ss instead of donkey. When she got to the part about coveting the neighbor’s *ss, she wrote, “booty.”

Thanks, that made me chuckle…

 

[EasterJoy]

I posted exactly on this topic a few months ago.

My daughter wrote out the commandments . The CCC uses the word *ss instead of donkey. When she got to the part about coveting the neighbor’s *ss, she wrote, “booty.”

Nowadays, more people probably covet the chance to have a certain kind of “booty” than a chance to have their neighbor’s particular donkey!

 

[Brandall]

Without question, I would tell a 7 year old that it is something that they aren’t prepared to understand yet. There are a lot of things 7 year olds do not need to know and this is one of them.

 

[EasterJoy]

Without question, I would tell a 7 year old that it is something that they aren’t prepared to understand yet. There are a lot of things 7 year olds do not need to know and this is one of them.

There are aspects to keeping this commandment that a 7 year old does have to be taught. Still, it is probable that “when you are a wife, your husband will be given a special place in your life that no one else may have” would probably suffice.

 

[Weejee]

This reminds me of a funny story. I have an uncle who, many years ago, at 7 years old and a student at his local parish school, was taught the ten commandments and was prepping for his first confession. Apparently he had played a little kissy face with a little girl.
He went into his first confession and confessed the sin of adultery.

I can only imagine what the priest thought when that happened.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

We use Seton Curriculum and in first grade (6 years old) they go through all 10 commandments. I was curious to find out how they dealt with it. They basically just said that adultery was something only adults could commit. That children could not commit it. Then it went on (because Seton always frames the commandments as something NOT to do followed by something TO do.) to say that we must guard our bodies and respect them and what we allow our eyes to see especially on TV.

I liked that explanation.