How to explain modesty and swimwear to a friend?

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It’s getting closer to that time of year when I begin looking for a new swimsuit for this upcoming summer. I am 21 years old. Last year, I decided that I would never again wear a bikini once I realized how ridiculously immodest they are and I feel super strongly about modesty as I’ve learned more about how visual men are and what exactly goes through their minds when they see provocatively dressed women. So I now make it a point to extend my modesty to the pool as well (apparently no other girls, even the so-called “Christian” girls I know, seem to understand that guys are guys, whether at the pool, school, work, etc.). Apparently one-pieces are so rare that even one of my best friends has noticed my choice of swimwear, and has even made some comments on it. She wasn’t derogatory about it- don’t get me wrong. She’s super sweet and decent about stuff like that. But I got the vibe that she probably was feeling as if I were being prudish or that I was somehow sticking my nose up at her, like I was better than her for not wearing a bikini. Obviously I don’t view it that way. Although I can’t help but have my blood boil when I think of how oblivious and clueless girls are when it comes to swimwear, at the same time, because I’m guilty of the same crime, I try not to be too judgmental. I guess maybe the reason I’m so against immodest swimwear is because I used to be a part of it- now I’m trying to make it up to God.

But if my friend asks me why I choose to wear only one-pieces, how should I respond? What should I say? Should I not say anything about it at all and just try to neutrally skirt around the topic? I don’t want to come across as preachy (the whole “a prophet is never accepted in his own native place” comes to mind) but I don’t want to sound as if I’m backing down either. Should I even go there?

And while we’re at it, if you could all pray for me that I not give in to the sin and temptation to buy and wear a bikini, I’d really appreciate it. I feel so tempted to give in, especially with every other girl at my age doing it and getting all this attention. I know it’s negative attention and I deep down don’t want that, but it’s so hard, especially when even your “Christian” girl friends wear bikinis with absolutely no conviction. Modesty is so hard in this culture, and although I don’t take it to the extremes of the Amish or have legalistic guidelines for myself, it’s such a struggle. Please pray that I don’t get discouraged about all this.
 
Couldnt you just say that you prefer that style or it feels more comfortable to you? Why do you need to bring up the religious side of it? All it does is create conflict to try and explain that you do it for religious reasons. Privately to people close to you it is fine to explain in more details but in a more public environment I would avoid deeper questions and keep it more simple and make it a matter of personal preference. No real need to defend being a prude or anything like that. They arent really people to associate with anyways if they dont accept you for who you are.
 
Just say that you prefer a more modest style. That’s not hard to understand.
 
I applaud your courage and your Faith! I wish more girls your age had the moral compass you do. I agree with other posts, the shorter the explanation the better. You like how they look on your body type, You feel more comfortable in a one-piece, etc. Again, what a refreshing and remarkable young woman you are. I will pray for you! God bless you!
 
Yes, it doesn’t have to be a big deal.

I find that many people, men and women, have been moving to more modest swimsuits because they want to avoid sunburn. It’s common to see adult men as well as little boys wearing rash guards now, for instance. It makes a lot of sense to cover up more from a health perspective as well as a moral one.
 
I live in the South and it seems pretty common down here to wear one-pieces.

I wear modest swim pants I bought years and years ago when I lived near observant Jews. I normally wear them over a one-piece. If anyone says anything I say, “It’s modest swimwear,” and they get the message."

Just be confident. Really. :hug1:
 
I live in the South and it seems pretty common down here to wear one-pieces.

I wear modest swim pants I bought years and years ago when I lived near observant Jews. I normally wear them over a one-piece. If anyone says anything I say, “It’s modest swimwear,” and they get the message."

Just be confident. Really. :hug1:
 
None of my friends have ever asked me why I wore any style of swimsuit. The only comments have been something like, “oh that’s cute! Where did you get it?”

If someone was snooty and asked why I wore any style of anything I would respond with, “because I want to.” 🤷

I’ve always had a stubborn attitude so any friend would take my response with a grain of salt.
 
Oh my dear one…it is getting harder to stand up for Christ these days and at your age even harder…yet to HONOR HIM…you MUST! Yes, you may feel like you don’t “fit in” but remember that we are not of “this world”. This is the sacrifice those who follow our Lord need to do… (not fit in!) Speak in love but truth to your friend…how you expressed what you learned about how men view women is a great way to start the conversation. But conversation on this topic at your age is soooooooooo Important and you are best to do so (with tons of our PRAYERS:) ) Bless you for doing so and do not be discouraged…God SEES THIS and understands the sacrifice. Stay true to the Truth and do NOT, I repeat NOT be tempted to give in to the evil one that is trying to make you justify your convictions!!!
You have my prayers!!!
Love in Him,
mlz
 
Good for you. 👍

You don’t owe anyone an explanation, but if you want a reply, how about, “I just love the comfort of this suit!” Or, “My old 2 piece suits were so uncomfortable. I felt like I was falling out of them!”
 
[BIBLEDRB][/BIBLEDRB]Two piece rash Gards are very trendy. In addition to more modesty (sometimes) they have great UVA/UVB protection so you also protecting yourself from the sun.

roxy.com/women-rash-guards/
athleta.com/products/rash-guard.jsp
landsend.com/shop/womens-swimsuits-swimsuit-cover-ups-rash-guards/-/N-fxp
myrashguards.com/WomensRashGuards/

Pair with a great boarder short and your set to have fun in the waster: from water parks, to slip and slide in the city, to the beach, through the white water rapids of the rivers, or a casual water gun fight with your besties.

us.billabong.com/shop/womens-boardshorts-rashguards
 
God Bless you for your modesty and your devotion!

Although I’m not in the same gender or age classification as yourself, I can honestly say we’ve all been in a situation where our faith is tested in public. Some have already given great suggestions on how to handle their questions and I would like to offer up my own view points for your consideration.

Modesty is not only a virtue, worthy of the act to show devotion to God, it’s also a great way to broadcast the value you place on your own body. Why would anyone, male or female, treat their body so cheap as to display it for ANYONE? If a person only feels “worth it” because everyone turns their heads to stare at their body parts, they have a serious issue about self worth.

So, if your friend asks why you chose to wear a one piece, you can give the other great suggestions but here’s an edgy one for you as well: “Because I’m worth it!” And smile your best innocent smile as you walk away.

God Bless you, sister in Christ.
 
Yes, it doesn’t have to be a big deal.

I find that many people, men and women, have been moving to more modest swimsuits because they want to avoid sunburn. It’s common to see adult men as well as little boys wearing rash guards now, for instance. It makes a lot of sense to cover up more from a health perspective as well as a moral one.
Yeah. My son usually wears just trunks at indoor pools but when we’re at our local outdoor water park (our home away from home during the summer), the whole family wears sleeves, either short or long. My tween (almost teen) daughter finds the idea of wearing a traditional one piece absolutely horrifying because we’ve had her wear swim shorts and a short-sleeved rash guard so many years.

I find it so much easier to have a smaller surface area to apply sunblock to, especially when there are five of us to do sunblock for. The local sun is astonishingly powerful–I find I can freckle up just from walking across a Walmart parking lot. I have really been enjoying wearing a synthetic jog bra plus long-sleeved rash guard plus swim shorts. It feels like I’m wearing actual clothing, not underwear, so I feel much more comfortable.

Dress in a way you find modest and comfortable and don’t be judgy.

Landsend offers a lot of nice choices.
 
Also, come to think of it, one of the awesome things about swim shorts is that it reduces the area that needs to be kept hair-free. If you’re wearing swim shorts, nobody but your future husband needs to know that your shaving regimen ends at mid-thigh.
 
Also, come to think of it, one of the awesome things about swim shorts is that it reduces the area that needs to be kept hair-free. If you’re wearing swim shorts, nobody but your future husband needs to know that your shaving regimen ends at mid-thigh.
LOL.
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
 
I’ve become a fan of the tankini.

Not so much for modesty purposes but having 2 kids and being pregnant with number 3 has basically limited my choices in swimwear.

I just don’t have the same figure I had in my mid-twenties anymore. 🙂

I dunno…I still really enjoy bikinis and would probably still wear one if I had the figure to do so. I’d probably pair it with a sarong or a skirt.

My :twocents: and I shall quickly depart from this thread before the stones start wizzing by my ears.
 
But if my friend asks me why I choose to wear only one-pieces, how should I respond? What should I say?
If it were me, I’d simply say: “I prefer them. I feel more modest in a one piece.” And leave it at that.
 
Nobody will know you don’t shave scrupulously except your future husband

…and your OB and other medical providers.

Forgot them.
 
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