How to find a church when I am transsexual

[GoRangers]

I say this with Christian love and charity, but if God made you a man, then you are a man. That is not discrimination, that is Truth. I will pray that you overcome this issue, as I pray that I overcome my own personal sins, as well. Good luck.

 

[feverforever]

I say this with Christian love and charity, but if God made you a man, then you are a man. That is not discrimination, that is Truth. I will pray that you overcome this issue, as I pray that I overcome my own personal sins, as well. Good luck.

Not to be rude, but what issue? This isn’t an issue for me, really. This is now normal for me. I’m living in my role freely and I do not care which sex I was born as. Mentally, I am not a man. I will physically never be female, only look like a woman. I know that. But, the only thing of a man that is left of me is my genitals. My parents have always known that I was extremely feminine. And I my father realised that I may be transgender. He was the reason I came out to my family. I’m glad I did. God has a plan for me, and I believe me being transsexual is apart of it.

 

[Fairwinds]

Anything goes with anglicans/epicsopals because they are a religion for people, not a religion for Christ. …

Let’s not slander our fellow Christians.

 

[feverforever]

Let’s not slander our fellow Christians.

This.

(I’ve always wondered why some Christians slander other Christians because they aren’t in the same denomination.)

 

[Fairwinds]

This.

(I’ve always wondered why some Christians slander other Christians because they aren’t in the same denomination.)

its a “hooray for our side” deal. people grow out of it, mostly.

 

[St_Francis]

But I feel that being accepted is also a consideration in picking the church for me. I do need a priest that will accept me. But, like you said, I need a Church that is true. At the end of the day, if it is a true Catholic church and if the priest accepts me whole-heartedly, then I will more than gladly join.

Let’s look at what you are saying here from a very clear point of view: Joe is a bank robber. He is very good at it; he gives a lot of his plunder to charity; he is a great father and husband; he mows his neighbor’s yard… everything about him is great except that he makes his living by robbing banks.

Now he is interested in religion. He wants to find a church which teaches the truth AND accept him as a bank robber.

Do you see the disconnect? Every church which teaches anything near the truth will tell him he has to stop robbing banks. The churches which accept him as he is are not teaching the truth.

---

Now, the Catholic Church will view you, Feverforever, as having a problem, a problem not unlike the problems that each of the other members have: some type of disordered desire. Al has a disordered desire because he wants to change girlfriends frequently while having sex with each, Betty has a disordered desire in that she wants to get straight As so much that she cheats in all her classes, etc.

They say the Catholic Church is a hospital for sinners. Al and Betty join the Church and do what “the doctor” suggests. They fail sometimes but in general they are on the road to improvement. Joe the bankrobber goes, but he does *not *do as the doctor suggests–he will not improve, he will not get better.

God created us and Christ gave His life up for us–they really are not only in a better position to see what we need but they have the right to tell us how they want to be worshiped. What is the point of Joe’s doing this and that is he is not getting closer to God? Any good is purely material–other people think he’s a great guy, etc, but he’s certainly not getting closer to God!

The essence of worship is *sacrifice. *We cannot worship without sacrifice. God sacrificed His Son for us; Christ sacrificed His life for us. We too must sacrifice, and the first thing we must sacrifice is our disordered desires, whatever they may be.

You can find a church which accepts you *as a transforming transsexual, *or tou can find a church which teaches the truth. You cannot find them in the same place.

 

[St_Francis]

It occurred to me that you probably don’t know enough about Church teaching to have fully understood what I wrote in my previous post. It is not that you would be mistreated by the Church, and if you showed up, the priest would be very nice to you and accepting of you *as a human being, *just as he would be towards Joe. Priests know we are all sinners!

And you would be welcome at RCIA (if there are problems, it would be personal, iyswim). However, there could be some hard discernment on the part of both you and the priest or DRE about your entering the Church *if you were to remain in the same mindset. *

You might change your mind, and that would be great! But you might not, and you might decide not to join a Church which would refuse to accept your changed identity as a woman. Do you see what I mean?

I would suggest contacting the pastor of a parish you are near or in, and asking about RCIA, which are classes for those interesting in joining the Church or just learning more about the Catholic Faith. To go to the classes *does not indicate a commitment; *many people go because they have someone close to them converting and they want to find out more–that sort of thing.

But if you want to grow closer to God, you need to be willing to accept what you leanr of His will. He is very gentle with us and gives us a lot of help; He does not demand perfection right now. So don’t let the Church get in your way–try it out and see what happens.

 

[St_Francis]

OK, maybe a different analogy would work. Suppose my teenage daughter told me she wanted the two of us to run a marathon. I am out of shape, 40 pounds overweight, and not giving to running under the best of circumstances.

So she persuades me just to bicycle while she runs, and gradually I get into better shape and lose the weight, and after many days of baby steps, I end up in a marathon (I am soooo not going to do this irl )

It’s more like this than it is like getting into college.

 

[Robyn_p]

I do need a priest that will accept me. But, like you said, I need a Church that is true. At the end of the day, if it is a true Catholic church and if the priest accepts me whole-heartedly, then I will more than gladly join.

You seem like you are genuinely searching for the truth. And for that I applaud you! It is super easy to find churches that fit our particular likes and dislikes. And the Catholic Church is most definitely not one of those at all!! But it is the one founded by Christ. So the fact that you are even interested in Catholicism at all tells me God is reaching you.

I hope and pray you do find a saintly priest who can lead you home. Who can speak the truth in love. After all, you really can’t separate the two. Some people try to, but it always turns out causing more harm than good.

Anyway, just know that even when the Church says what you may want to do is wrong, it doesn’t mean she is rejecting you, only challenging you to let Christ transform you, as we all must let Him.

God bless you my friend!

 

[KP3243]

I am not sure I understand transgender so please forgive me if I say something that is uncharitable it is only because of lack of knowledge about this type of cross that you have been asked to carry. Wouldn’t it be more holy to be who you were genetically or biologically made to be instead of giving into the temptation of being what you are not? I know I suffer from the sin of sloth immensely and it takes every ounce of me to do what I am supposed to do in almost everything I do I am always trying to take an easy way out or do things half assed so I can be done with them as soon as possible. It is constant problem for me and sometimes it becomes physically painful to sit and do the simplest tasks and I often times fail but I cant give in and say oh this is who I am when I know in my conscience what I am doing is in fact wrong and know that God is telling me to pick up my cross and he will help me. It is embarrassing when I get caught not doing what I am supposed to be doing especially at work and it is not something I want to be known for and I think I am in worse shape when I slide back into bad habits because I think I insult God by not trusting that he will help me it why I have to make frequent confessions while I am working through this and correcting this sin.

 

[KP3243]

You seem like you are genuinely searching for the truth. And for that I applaud you! It is super easy to find churches that fit our particular likes and dislikes. And the Catholic Church is most definitely not one of those at all!! But it is the one founded by Christ. So the fact that you are even interested in Catholicism at all tells me God is reaching you.

I hope and pray you do find a saintly priest who can lead you home. Who can speak the truth in love. After all, you really can’t separate the two. Some people try to, but it always turns out causing more harm than good.

Anyway, just know that even when the Church says what you may want to do is wrong, it doesn’t mean she is rejecting you, only challenging you to let Christ transform you, as we all must let Him.

God bless you my friend!

I will pray a rosary for you tonight so Our Lady can ask her divine Son to put the right people in your path who can share the truths of the Church with you. You seem like a lovely soul searching for truth and love and with my whole heart I will pray that you find it or that it will find you.

 

[RoseMary131]

Yes, I have found three churches that I like. I am not sure about looking for a Church in unison with the Pope, etc, since I have not learned much about them things yet. I have bought the Catechism of the Catholic Church and the NASB. I also have a TSB which was my grandmother’s.

Thank you.

First Pray! Ask God to lead you to His Holy Church. Go to the churches that you found and visit with the priest. You can call the parish office for an appointment with the priest.

Go to Mass and experience the Mass. Be aware of the presence of God and all the Angels and Saints in Heaven at that very Mass.

Know that Jesus Christ, Body and Soul, God the Son is truly present as the priest holds up the host and the chalice at the consecration.

You may go up for a blessing during communion by crossing your arms over your chest - like a pretzel (a pretzel that is made to resemble arms crossed in prayer).

Experience this joy, this prayer with God.

Seek the RCIA class. These usually begin around Aug. It is weekly classes to inquire into the faith of the Catholic Church. It is not a commitment to join the Church.

Keep looking for God. Keep following Him. He will lead you.

When one finds the Truth, they find so much more than they ever imagined.

Remember God desires His Holy Church for everyone. Some people find various teachings hard to believe. Some people can not accept the Real Presence of Jesus in the Holy Eucharist. The Church still welcomes them to Mass, although they are unable to be fully Catholic because of their unbelief in the Church. They can come to Mass to worship, but are not members of the Catholic Church and can not receive Holy Communion.

As you begin this journey with the Catechism and hopefully attending Mass and RCIA, keep your goal in mind. Is your goal to find the fullness of God’s Holy Church and the beauty within His Church?

If you feel someone is not accepting of you, please re-think: are they unaccepting of you or are they unaccepting of a specific action or belief that you hold contrary to Church teachings? Ask questions, inquire, and learn the reasons the Church teaches something different than you believe.

For someone who doesn’t believe in the Real Presence - they should inquire as to why the Church teaches Jesus is truly Present in the Eucharist - the Eucharist is no longer bread, it is truly the Holy Body and Blood of Jesus.

I don’t know what a TSB is. This most be special to you since it was your grandmother’s. Is your grandmother still living?

May God give you grace to continue on this journey to His Church. If you find some teachings hard to understand, keep praying for grace to see with clear eyes.

Peace to you, Fever.

 

[RoseMary131]

Thank you everyone who has posted so far.
I really do want to become a Catholic since it is the only religion that is calling out to me and I relate to it so strongly - although my views have always been more liberal, even though I really dislike politics. Jesus is pushing me toward the Catholic tradition Himself. I can feel it. I can only hope and pray that I find a loving church and priest that doesn’t mind me being transsexual.

What strong and powerful words expressing Jesus calling you to Himself in His Church!!!

Pray and be open!

God is Pure Love. His Church is one of Love. Truth and Love go together. This is what leads us to Heaven.

Sometimes we find stumbling blocks that block out some of the Light, some of the Love and Truth. If we keep praying for graces, God will outshine those stumbling blocks.

God loves Everyone. He does have rules for all of us. All of us are called to live a chaste life. God blesses each of us as sexual beings. How we act on our sexuality is important. We want a mature understanding of our sexuality.

When expressing love in a sexual manner, we want to know how God intended that sexual love to be shared. The Church teaches that our sexual love is a beautiful and wonderful part of our life in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.

A priest should accept everyone as a child of God, but not all sexual actions are acceptable.

Do not confuse acceptance of a person, with accepting all of their beliefs and actions.

If any person (married, single, straight, gay, transsexual, etc.) says, “I do not want to be chaste.” They are choosing not to live as God designed us. Everyone is called to the same use of their sexuality.

Everyone - chaste and not chaste - is welcome to Mass.

We are all sinners. For those of us who are Catholic, when we commit mortal sins we seek the Sacrament of Confession before we receive Jesus in Holy Communion. We all need this Sacrament of Confession to keep our souls clean and we need the wonderful graces from Holy Communion to keep us close to Jesus.

You feel a wonderful call by Jesus Himself to His Holy Church. Please pray and be open to Jesus working in your life and the Power of the Holy Spirit.

Happy Pentecost Sunday.

 

[Casey123]

Note: please don’t reply if you either don’t think that being transgender is real or if you are going to discriminate.

I am a pre-operative transsexual and haven’t changed my legal name because I am not full-time, yet. I am trying to find an Anglo-Catholic church, but I am unsure since I do not know if they will accept me or not. My birth certificate is obviously not changed yet either. I want to enter the Catholic learning course this September, but worry that I will not find a church willing to take me on because of my situation. To me personally, God gave it to me. My post-operative transsexual friend said this to me and I completely got it. I feel like this is one of my many life lessons while on earth before I go to Heaven. But, I am completely scared to death that I will be discriminated against. I have never been discriminated against so far, so I can only hope that the first church I find will accept me. It’s not like I can cover it up since I am not post-operative, my birth certificate is not changed, my legal name is not changed and my infant baptism record is of course in my male name and sex.

Has anyone got any advice on finding a church in my situation?

Thank you very much in advance.

You are always welcome at our Church; additionally, we ordain men and women equally to all levels of ministry, including lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered individuals.

God loves all of us. No exceptions.

God’s Peace,
Casey

 

[RoseMary131]

Not to be rude, but what issue? This isn’t an issue for me, really. This is now normal for me. I’m living in my role freely and I do not care which sex I was born as. Mentally, I am not a man. I will physically never be female, only look like a woman. I know that. But, the only thing of a man that is left of me is my genitals. My parents have always known that I was extremely feminine. And I my father realised that I may be transgender. He was the reason I came out to my family. I’m glad I did. God has a plan for me, and I believe me being transsexual is apart of it.

Although I know very, very little about transsexual, I would like to add a bit more.

Mentally you are exactly who you are - Fever. As you mentioned, physically you will never be female. It is, however, not really true that the only thing of a man that is left of you is your genitals.

Every cell of our body expresses our gender - male or female. DNA testing on every cell of our body tells the blueprint of who we are genetically. Genetically, you are male and always will be. No surgery, no hormones will ever erase your DNA.

You may shape your body into a female form, but you are always exactly who you are today - Fever - whose gender is male and whose personality traits a society might declare as feminine.

Neither surgery nor hormones really change who you are - you, dear Fever, are exactly who you are. We are not a sum of what we see in the mirror. We are what is inside of us - what can not be seen.

Every day there are people who experience trauma that leave them without a physical part of their body. A father loses his legs in an accident, a young lady’s face is tragically disfigured and she no longer resembles herself, etc…this people are still the same person they were before the accident. You will always be exactly who you are - even if you surgically or hormonally change the physical appears of your human body.

God does have a plan for you, just as He has a plan for each of us. He loves all of us and calls all of us to Him - male and female, feminine and masculine - all made in His image.

 

[CompSciGuy]

But if I “change my mindset” to fit my body, then I would be homosexual (since I am female and attracted to the opposite sex, men), which I think is an even bigger no-no in most of the Catholic traditions.

If you have male sex organs, then you are a man. You’re not a woman. What you need is counseling, not a sex change operation.

And then of course someone will say then I have to change my mindset to be attracted to women. But I tried to push down the fact that I was actually the opposite sex since I was around the age eight.

…what?

And I was very religious throughout my life. Then I ended up giving in and researching. Then it all made sense to me. I was indeed female. I have already ‘mutilated’ my body, if you will, by being on female hormones. And a lot of the changes are irreversible.

Once again… if you possess male sex organs, then you are a man. Please get counseling.

My Catholic mother always complained at first about how I am mutilating my body, but she accepts me and still loves me. I am very thankful for that considering how many parents would disown their child in that situation.

Of course, I am sure most mothers would be concerned for their children, especially if they are harming themselves. I don’t think most parents woud disown their children, I think they would get them good psychiatric help. Self-harm and self-mutilation is not normal and is not the answer.

I can honestly say that I have no intention of changing my mindset to feel male since I am completely comfortable being female inside and a woman on the outside.

Except that you are not a female.

I realise that I will be forever born male because as a post-operative transsexual, I am only changing my body to match my real mental sex. I’m actually glad. Of course I wish I was born female, but I wasn’t. I don’t really mind.

Why do you want to be something that you are not?

I just want to find a church where I can worship with others in a loving community. I’ve always talked to Christ and what was the answer always? “Worship me.” He didn’t ask me to do anything but worship Him. And so I will.

Jesus didn’t just say “worship me.” He said “follow me.” He said “keep the commandments.” God created you a man, made in the image and likeness of God. Maybe you feel like you aren’t as “masculine” as other men. That’s ok. Maybe you have a same-sex attraction. That’s ok too. But if you want to follow Jesus, really follow him, then you will want to live according to his statutes. You should read what the Catechism of the Catholic Church says about homosexuality. It isn’t as harsh as you think. And please, get some therapy before you end up going through with this procedure. I can assure you the people in this forum care about you. You have to understand that loving someone doesn’t mean that you should condone what they are doing. Should we say to someone with a drug habit “we love you just as you are” and then not try to help them get off drugs? No, that isn’t love. And it isn’t love to stand by and watch someone mutilate their own bodies, and then cheer them on telling them it’s ok. Please try to understand this.

 

[feverforever]

Although I know very, very little about transsexual, I would like to add a bit more.

Mentally you are exactly who you are - Fever. As you mentioned, physically you will never be female. It is, however, not really true that the only thing of a man that is left of you is your genitals.

Every cell of our body expresses our gender - male or female. DNA testing on every cell of our body tells the blueprint of who we are genetically. Genetically, you are male and always will be. No surgery, no hormones will ever erase your DNA.

You may shape your body into a female form, but you are always exactly who you are today - Fever - whose gender is male and whose personality traits a society might declare as feminine.

Neither surgery nor hormones really change who you are - you, dear Fever, are exactly who you are. We are not a sum of what we see in the mirror. We are what is inside of us - what can not be seen.

Every day there are people who experience trauma that leave them without a physical part of their body. A father loses his legs in an accident, a young lady’s face is tragically disfigured and she no longer resembles herself, etc…this people are still the same person they were before the accident. You will always be exactly who you are - even if you surgically or hormonally change the physical appears of your human body.

God does have a plan for you, just as He has a plan for each of us. He loves all of us and calls all of us to Him - male and female, feminine and masculine - all made in His image.

Gender isn’t sex. It’s different because gender is mental and the birth sex is physical. But i can’t be bothered to talk about that right now.

“Neither surgery nor hormones really change who you are.” - I know that. But that is my DNA. Not my brain. I suffered from severe clinical depression before I even started my hormones. And when I started hormones, my mood just lit up. I was even able to start my spiritual/religious journey again. Now this is important. Transsexual persons are at the highest risk of commiting suicide either because they can’t transition, or becauae of discrimination. I was also suicidal before I started and I self-harmed. I went through literal hell on Earth.

My DNA may be male, buy my brain isn’t. (There have been experiments on transsexual persons brains.)

 

[feverforever]

If you have male sex organs, then you are a man. You’re not a woman. What you need is counseling, not a sex change operation.

…what?

Once again… if you possess male sex organs, then you are a man. Please get counseling.

Of course, I am sure most mothers would be concerned for their children, especially if they are harming themselves. I don’t think most parents woud disown their children, I think they would get them good psychiatric help. Self-harm and self-mutilation is not normal and is not the answer.

Except that you are not a female.

Why do you want to be something that you are not?

Jesus didn’t just say “worship me.” He said “follow me.” He said “keep the commandments.” God created you a man, made in the image and likeness of God. Maybe you feel like you aren’t as “masculine” as other men. That’s ok. Maybe you have a same-sex attraction. That’s ok too. But if you want to follow Jesus, really follow him, then you will want to live according to his statutes. You should read what the Catechism of the Catholic Church says about homosexuality. It isn’t as harsh as you think. And please, get some therapy before you end up going through with this procedure. I can assure you the people in this forum care about you. You have to understand that loving someone doesn’t mean that you should condone what they are doing. Should we say to someone with a drug habit “we love you just as you are” and then not try to help them get off drugs? No, that isn’t love. And it isn’t love to stand by and watch someone mutilate their own bodies, and then cheer them on telling them it’s ok. Please try to understand this.

I’m not going to even reply to this ignorant post…

 

[markomalley]

I’m not going to even reply to this ignorant post…

Self-mutilation is evil. Period.

If you wish to make Jesus your Lord, that means that you will follow His teachings. Period.

St Thomas Aquinas discussed this in the Summa Theologica 2.2.65.1. This was re-affirmed by Pope Pius XI in his 1931 Encyclical, Casti Cannubii (71).

If you wish to learn to react and deal with your condition in a Christ-like fashion…to pick up your cross and follow Him with it…then the Church has a place for you. I can’t speak for every parish in every diocese, particularly the dioceses of the UK.

However, if you want to have some support group pat you on the head and affirm you, then I would certainly hope that the Church would not be that place. I would hope that the Church would not help somebody head to hell.

There are plenty of groups out there that call themselves Christian who will hold your hand and walk you to the gates of hell. I’m sure you can find one for yourself.

 

[feverforever]

Self-mutilation is evil. Period.

If you wish to make Jesus your Lord, that means that you will follow His teachings. Period.

St Thomas Aquinas discussed this in the Summa Theologica 2.2.65.1. This was re-affirmed by Pope Pius XI in his 1931 Encyclical, Casti Cannubii (71).

If you wish to learn to react and deal with your condition in a Christ-like fashion…to pick up your cross and follow Him with it…then the Church has a place for you. I can’t speak for every parish in every diocese, particularly the dioceses of the UK.

However, if you want to have some support group pat you on the head and affirm you, then I would certainly hope that the Church would not be that place. I would hope that the Church would not help somebody head to hell.

There are plenty of groups out there that call themselves Christian who will hold your hand and walk you to the gates of hell. I’m sure you can find one for yourself.

Deuteronomy 23:1 He whose testicles are crushed or whose male member is cut off shall not enter the assembly of the LORD.

Circumcision is genital modification, which equals to mutilation. Does that mean everyone who is circumcised and Christian is not going to Heaven? Not going to be saved?.

Galatians 3:28 …there is neither male nor female, for we are all one in Christ Jesus.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosover believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

This means that I will be saved as long as I am a real believer.

Also:

Matthew 19:12 If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out. And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than to have two feet and be thrown into hell. And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell.