How to get rid of guilt?

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justcatholic997

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Like everyone else, I am a sinner. I make mistakes, both spiritually and temporally. But something that I lack is the ability to forgive myself and let past sins go. A recent example of this is today, when I unintentionally ran a red light. Even though that it’s not really a sin, I think that it’s a good example because I can’t stop beating myself up over things like these. Minor sins against God/charity, bad driving habits, insincere prayers/actions, all of these things. These thoughts aren’t too annoying/significant, but I wish they would leave. Every time I try to think of God and his mercy, these thoughts come up and tell me that I’m screwed.

So…any advice?:confused:
 
My advice to you is to not let the devil get any kind of foothold in your mind. Being bogged down with guilt keeps the focus of your mind and heart off the greatness of Jesus’ merciful love.
 
First, make sure you are forgiving others, even that guy who ran a red light and almost hit you.

Then: If you talked to a child the way you talk to yourself at those times, that would be really bad, no? You are a child of God! To say those things to yourself is a temptation. Tell yourself that you are human like everyone else, and pray for help against the temptation *until the temptation goes away. *Repeat as needed, even just a few minutes later.

And watch out for a switch in tactics to make you feel despairing about yourself.
 
This sounds an awful lot like scrupulosity. “Unintentionally” doing something is not a sin and perhaps not even wrong, depending upon the circumstances. It can point to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. This is something to discuss with your Priest or spiritual director.
 
St_Francis said:
First, make sure you are forgiving others, even that guy who ran a red light and almost hit you.
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In the situation I described, I unintentionally ran a red(I wasn’t close to hitting anyone). Are you trying to give an example of forgiveness, or did you misunderstood what I wrote?
 
When I did security on a federal installation, there was much about dotting "i"s and croosing Ts. Since bad guys are rare, security is boring. Mist who do it spend their days nailing good people for not having their paperwork quite in order or some other technicality. I didn’t care about prim and proper.

Now these guards could spot an expired sticker or other such minor non-issue a mile away…I did not care.

One day as I sit in the background the guard at the checkpoint lets a car through and as he enters the booth I say “that looked real”
He asks what I am talking about… to which I say:“That fake gun”…

“What?” He says
I say “The kid in the back holding the rifle… I assumed it was fake since you let them through…”
He says “OH **** I’LL BE RIGHT BACK” And drives to go check… (luckily it was fake)

Moral of the story, if you worry about that which doesn’t matter, you will not see what does.
 
po18guy said:
This sounds an awful lot like scrupulosity. “Unintentionally” doing something is not a sin and perhaps not even wrong, depending upon the circumstances. It can point to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. This is something to discuss with your Priest or spiritual director.
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Yes. See to this as soon as you can. Otherwise you will be miserable all the time.
No bueno
 
There is guilt which is negative, regret which is positive. Guilt doesn’t allow a person to move forward. Regret does. You can regret an action, but not allow the past to paralyze one or ruin the happiness in the present.
 
justcatholic997 said:
In the situation I described, I unintentionally ran a red(I wasn’t close to hitting anyone). Are you trying to give an example of forgiveness, or did you misunderstood what I wrote?
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Did you read the rest of my post? What seems to sometimes happen is that severe judgement of others goes hand in hand with severe judgement of oneself. If I freak out about how others are driving, I freak out when I make a mistake. Now I talk to myself and say, oh, maybe that person is taking a woman in labor to the hospital or is late for a job interview, etc., and then when I have a problem, I am not so hard on myself.

Plus I do the other stuff 🙂
 
I generally try to have more patience with myself and others as this helps me to let go of things like you’re talking about. I can go on beating myself up because I ran a red light 3 weeks ago or I can let it go and try to do better(pay attention while driving) from now on. On another thread someone wrote that sin is defined as “to miss the mark” I like this and this gives me an opportunity to improve my aim. We all beat ourselves up too much and are too judgmental of ourselves and others because we lack patience in my view. Previous poster mentioned giving someone the benefit of the doubt by thinking a woman may be in labor. Great idea to put oneself in another persons shoes or possible situation. The other day someone passed me on my way to work and made it look like I was sitting still(was doing the speed limit), they pulled into a parking lot for taco bell. I’m guessing he was late for work-not really a good reason for the speed he was doing but way back in the day I remember speeding because I overslept. I wished him blessings and let it go.
 
In response to the scrupulosity posts…I know objectively that things aren’t mortal, but I always feel like if I assume that then I’ll die and go to hell. It’s such a narrow gate, and I’m afraid that letting up and letting go of the guilt will lead me to hell. It’s hard to feel and guilt-free when it feels like I’m sinning by doing so. Ever since I reverted, some aspect about religion has weighed negatively on my mind.
 
With all snarky-ness aside, feeling guilty just part of being a Catholic. As a lifelong Catholic of 50 years including 12 years of Catholic school, I’ve come to accept that guilt is a very real and integral part of being catholic.
The change in the penitential rite to “through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault!” just reeks of guilt. Honestly, I chuckle every time we say it, which at the church I attend is very infrequent.

And then to read how the church does not promote guilt among its members…
 
Minion_w_a_drum said:
With all snarky-ness aside, feeling guilty just part of being a Catholic. As a lifelong Catholic of 50 years including 12 years of Catholic school, I’ve come to accept that guilt is a very real and integral part of being catholic.
The change in the penitential rite to “through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault!” just reeks of guilt. Honestly, I chuckle every time we say it, which at the church I attend is very infrequent.

And then to read how the church does not promote guilt among its members…
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I guess we can go from one extreme to the other. I am a convert and I just love the Church for Her deep understanding of human nature.

I have been interested in Saint Ignatius and the process of examining our lives but I sure can see where it can be carried to far.
 
justcatholic997 said:
In response to the scrupulosity posts…I know objectively that things aren’t mortal, but I always feel like if I assume that then I’ll die and go to hell. It’s such a narrow gate, and I’m afraid that letting up and letting go of the guilt will lead me to hell. It’s hard to feel and guilt-free when it feels like I’m sinning by doing so. Ever since I reverted, some aspect about religion has weighed negatively on my mind.
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Minion_w_a_drum said:
With all snarky-ness aside, feeling guilty just part of being a Catholic. As a lifelong Catholic of 50 years including 12 years of Catholic school, I’ve come to accept that guilt is a very real and integral part of being catholic.
The change in the penitential rite to “through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault!” just reeks of guilt. Honestly, I chuckle every time we say it, which at the church I attend is very infrequent.

And then to read how the church does not promote guilt among its members…
Click to expand...
Seriously, disproportionate concern about one’s sins is either a sign of excessive pride or youngness in the Faith. It is to help us clean up our acts, to replace our bad habits with good habits, but then we are supposed to grow in our love for and understanding of God, and attain a place in which we do not want to offend God because we love Him, not because we fear Him.

Like today: I put my foot in my mouth three times with people. Maybe I hurt them, maybe not, but I still feel bad that I “missed the mark,” as someone above put it.

And so it is with the saints and God. They love God so much that they do not want to hurt Him even inadvertently in a tiny way. They understand that without God’s loving help, they would be a mess, “through their grievous fault.”

And btw, does God need to be reminded of our dependence on Him, or do we? Lex orandi, lex credendi, after all.
 
justcatholic997 said:
In response to the scrupulosity posts…I know objectively that things aren’t mortal, but I always feel like if I assume that then I’ll die and go to hell. It’s such a narrow gate, and I’m afraid that letting up and letting go of the guilt will lead me to hell. It’s hard to feel and guilt-free when it feels like I’m sinning by doing so. Ever since I reverted, some aspect about religion has weighed negatively on my mind.
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You need to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Start memorizing lots of scripture. Start with the verses that tell you who you are in Christ, and how His forgiveness works.

Remember when you pray the Lord’s Prayer that you are included in forgiving others their trespasses.
 
Sometimes I feel the same way and its a hard situation to give advice for

Here’s what helps me

I remember that God forgave me and I should if God has
(While sometimes you feel you need to beat yourself up I feel that is devil trying to hurt you)

I picture Jesus hugging me and telling me to let it go and that it’s in the past and to be forgotten

I know it’s hard because you feel shame for sins but that shows you are of true heart and know it was wrong which is very respectful 🙂

Praying for ya man
I’m fighting it too
Just remember Jesus can catch you tears and make them great i know even I doubt it but its true
God Bless
 
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