How to handle screaming baby during mass

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Moneyball

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Hi everyone, I need some advice. I’ve got a 16 month old and another one on the way, my wife and I would like our kids to start coming to mass with us at a young age, but the problem is sometimes our little guy just won’t stop making noise. Sometimes it gets to the point where my wife has to bring him to the back where he can walk around a little, otherwise no one would be able to hear the priest.

So I have two questions, is it necessary for my wife be attentive throughout the entire mass if she has to go in the back with our son? And does anyone have any advice on how to handle kids in that situation? Thanks.
 
Moneyball said:
Hi everyone, I need some advice. I’ve got a 16 month old and another one on the way, my wife and I would like our kids to start coming to mass with us at a young age, but the problem is sometimes our little guy just won’t stop making noise. Sometimes it gets to the point where my wife has to bring him to the back where he can walk around a little, otherwise no one would be able to hear the priest.

So I have two questions, is it necessary for my wife be attentive throughout the entire mass if she has to go in the back with our son? And does anyone have any advice on how to handle kids in that situation? Thanks.
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What you are doing is exactly what everyone with small children does. Kids slowly get better at being still at mass. Bringing some quiet entertainment also helps- a favorite stuffed animal, a book. We do crayons and paper or coloring book and a children’s gospel book. They get to know the prayers and responses and can start participating. I like sitting near the front so they see more than the back of everyone’s head.
 
PhiloMed said:
What you are doing is exactly what everyone with small children does. Kids slowly get better at being still at mass. Bringing some quiet entertainment also helps- a favorite stuffed animal, a book. We do crayons and paper or coloring book and a children’s gospel book. They get to know the prayers and responses and can start participating. I like sitting near the front so they see more than the back of everyone’s head.
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Yup/ Our Monsignor used to say there was a special place in heaven for mothers of small babies.
If it gets really bad, she can exit.
Don’t worry about it. Some folks will uncharitably stare, but babies are very welcome at church, and your are to be supported in your vocation as parents.
God bless you.
Chin up!
 
I have a 20 month old and she was the same at the 9am Mass. I realised it was her play time and when she is most active.

Now I bring her to the 12pm Mass because it’s just around her midday nap and she promptly falls asleep. She is an early riser so I make sure she doesn’t sleep between then and Mass.

I feed her lunch around 11 and by the time we get to Mass she is asleep in the car and asleep all through Mass. This is a routine for her now.

I hear from other mums that 2-3yo won’t be up for naps during Mass, they want to walk around and talk to people and play etc… so I’m dreading that. We might do what Philomed suggests above.
 
Moneyball said:
So I have two questions, is it necessary for my wife be attentive throughout the entire mass if she has to go in the back with our son? And does anyone have any advice on how to handle kids in that situation? Thanks.
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Like PhiloMed says, you are doing just what the parents of 20-month-olds are supposed to do.

My only comment is that sometimes it should be you who is less attentive and standing in the back with your child while your wife stays in the pews. Don’t let the fact that your child might currently respond better to your wife stop you from stepping up to the parenting plate.
 
Thanks everyone! I always wonder how parents of twelve did it back in the day lol.
 
Moneyball said:
Thanks everyone! I always wonder how parents of twelve did it back in the day lol.
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“Back in the day” it was not unusual for a family who lived in the city (and was likely within walking distance to the Church) take turns going to Mass. When the whole family did attend Mass together the older siblings might be assigned to police the 3, 4, and 5 year olds leaving the parents available to care for the youngest. There were probably single aunts and uncles and maybe grandparents who would help out.

When I was a child in the 1960s and (as was so common then) far away from extended family my parents did not usually attend Mass together until the oldest two were in first grade.
 
Moneyball said:
is it necessary for my wife be attentive throughout the entire mass if she has to go in the back with our son?
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The Catechism states that child care can excuse us from Mass, so that would include a part of the Mass.
 
Two little things I learnt from taking my four to mass alone was that the noise usually sounded louder in my own ears as I was trying hard to keep it down.Most people are just so happy to have children in the church and have been through the same situation themselves
and are understanding .
Mine were bits of wrigglers, but I managed to be able to sit near another adult on the pew
the children between us and that way prevented them from wandering.
Prayers for you 🙂
 
Moneyball said:
So I have two questions, is it necessary for my wife be attentive throughout the entire mass if she has to go in the back with our son? And does anyone have any advice on how to handle kids in that situation? Thanks.
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No, you can be the attentive one & take the child out. Let your wife participate in the Mass. Take turns.
 
Moneyball said:
Thanks everyone! I always wonder how parents of twelve did it back in the day lol.
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I think they spent a lot of time walking in the vestibule, the courtyard, or where ever space was available.

I only have half that many, but I’ve spent a lot of time exiting the church, walking in the vestibule with a baby, and not paying attention. I once lamented that I didn’t realize that having kids meant I would never listen to a homily again.

This will pass, but if you have several children close in age, it might be a very long time. It might get worse before it gets better, but it is simply a season in life. There is a gap of 4 years between my two youngest children. Before I got pregnant with the baby, I thought I had arrived. My second youngest is a mellow kid, and by the time he was 3, it was rare that I had to leave the church, though I still didn’t always pay much attention. My baby is now 10 months old and no longer naps through the Divine Liturgy. It is different now, though. I can have her big sister take her out. 🙂

I’ll keep you in my prayers. This is a tough time to be a parent, but taking your kids to church will be worth it in the end.
 
Greenfields said:
Two little things I learnt from taking my four to mass alone was that the noise usually sounded louder in my own ears as I was trying hard to keep it down.Most people are just so happy to have children in the church)
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Your sentiments are not universal. Sound carries in the church and a crying baby/screaming toddler is loud to others and a distraction. Our priest has actually lost his place in the Missal because of people’s loud children, thus In our parish we have the 6 second rule. If your child continues making noise after 6 seconds he/she must be removed from the church area. IMHO, children should be seen and not heard in church.
 
Deo_Gratias42 said:
Your sentiments are not universal. Sound carries in the church and a crying baby/screaming toddler is loud to others and a distraction.
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And sometimes more than a distraction. I’ve had difficulty hearing the priest or lector because of screaming or otherwise noisy children.
 
I agree with most everyone else. You and your wife are doing just fine. Some of the glances are from some of us that just want to see who is participating. The faith is caught not taught… what better place to catch the faith than with their local “church.” Let them grow up in the faith.
 
Luke 18. 15-16,
And they brought unto him also infants, that he might touch them. Which when the disciples saw, they rebuked them.
But Jesus, calling them together, said: Suffer the little children that come unto me,
and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.
 
Purgatory_Pete said:
Luke 18. 15-16,
And they brought unto him also infants, that he might touch them. Which when the disciples saw, they rebuked them.
But Jesus, calling them together, said: Suffer the little children that come unto me,
and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.
Click to expand...
👍
 
Purgatory_Pete said:
Luke 18. 15-16,
And they brought unto him also infants, that he might touch them. Which when the disciples saw, they rebuked them.
But Jesus, calling them together, said: Suffer the little children that come unto me,
and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.
Click to expand...
Heart thumping ,looking around in amazement knowing Jesus knew what effort it took to
get ready and finally make it to mass as a family with little children…“I’m here, we’re actually here!”
 
Greenfields said:
Heart thumping ,looking around in amazement knowing Jesus knew what effort it took to
get ready and finally make it to mass as a family with little children…“I’m here, we’re actually here!”
Click to expand...
:clapping: I’m hearing you, it’s a real mission in our household timed with military precision and we only have one 2yo. :rotfl:
 
Pew cards from our parish - same verbiage with Pastors name and diocese version from their we page - the reverse is a doodle page …scroll down to see it :
Celebrate Kids Pew Card: Help Welcome Families

CELEBRATING CHILDREN
Dear Parents of our young parishioners
Our parish enthusiastically welcomes your growing family to fully celebrate with us.
May we suggest:
  • **Relax. **God put the wiggle in children; Don’t feel our have to suppress it in God’s house.
  • **Sit towards the front or aisle **where it is easier for little one to see and hear
  • Quietly explain the parts of the Mass
    *** Sing **the hymns, **pray **the prayers and say the responses. Children learn from your actions
  • If you must leave Mass with your child, feel free to do so, but please come back. As Jesus said. “let the children come to me” MT 19:14
Note to all parishioners:
The presence of children is a gift to our Church. Like all of us, they are members of the Body of Christ and a reminder of the growth and future of our Church. Please welcome our children and their parents, and give them a big smile of encouragement!

Link: pdxfamlife.org/year-of-mercy/
scroll down the page
 
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