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Faith1960
Guest
Huh.When I feel a coughing fit coming on, which often accompanies a cold in me, I get up and cough elsewhere.
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babochka
Guest
Well, you clearly don’t have 6 children that you need to manage, in addition to yourself.
Many of my coughs can be resolved with a brief clearing of my throat. Others result in a spell lasting several minutes. I never know right away which one it is going to be, and they all begin with a tickle in the throat. I suppose I could usher my younger children out with me every time I feel a tickle in my throat, but it seems to me that all that in and out could be pretty disruptive and distracting. My cough has persisted for 15 years. It is not related to a cold.
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Faith1960
Guest
You need to see a doctor.Well, you clearly don’t have 6 children that you need to manage, in addition to yourself.
Many of my coughs can be resolved with a brief clearing of my throat. Others result in a spell lasting several minutes. I never know right away which one it is going to be, and they all begin with a tickle in the throat. I suppose I could usher my younger children out with me every time I feel a tickle in my throat, but it seems to me that all that in and out could be pretty disruptive and distracting. My cough has persisted for 15 years. It is not related to a cold.
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babochka
Guest
I have, and take medication. But thank you for your advice and concern.
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Bonnie
Guest
AMEN! I’m still trying to figure out why these talkers come to Mass at all.
I’m sure I’m not describing anyone here at CA, but I’ve met up with more than a few doting parents & grandparents who are so enthralled by the baby/toddler that they interact with it throughout the Mass, encouraging it to laugh out loud, babble, and play with noisy toys. I don’t know why they are there either. I suppose it’s better than crying babies, but still quite distracting.
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babochka
Guest
I have that problem in my family, unfortunately. My pre-teen daughter loves to hold the baby and is eager to help, but she doesn’t know how to hold the baby without playing with her and making her laugh. Their relationship is sweet, but not appropriate for church. It’s a work in progress and they’re both learning. (For the record, she gets to hold the baby until this starts to happen. Then I get the baby back. )I’m sure I’m not describing anyone here at CA, but I’ve met up with more than a few doting parents & grandparents who are so enthralled by the baby/toddler that they interact with it throughout the Mass, encouraging it to laugh out loud, babble, and play with noisy toys. I don’t know why they are there either. I suppose it’s better than crying babies, but still quite distracting.
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Faith1960
Guest
I’ve only seen that once or twice. Here and especially at the church I visited, it was older folks. I assume they can’t hear and practically yell their conversations at each other.AMEN! I’m still trying to figure out why these talkers come to Mass at all.
I’m sure I’m not describing anyone here at CA, but I’ve met up with more than a few doting parents & grandparents who are so enthralled by the baby/toddler that they interact with it throughout the Mass, encouraging it to laugh out loud, babble, and play with noisy toys. I don’t know why they are there either. I suppose it’s better than crying babies, but still quite distracting.
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TyburnTreeHuggr
Guest
I imagine the disorder explains your low tolerance for baby noise. Would you rather have baby noise and a growing church or no noise and a dying parish? We moved to a small town and nearly everyone in our elderly parish are happy to hear a sign of vitality in their midst.
And cry rooms stink. Better to have a few rough times during the first few years and have well-behaved kids during Mass all the way on up.
Ps. If Pope Francis encourages nursing mothers (and their infants at Mass), I’m pretty sure you could learn to A. Tough it out. B. Find an elderly, dying parish to attend. or C. Sit in the cry room yourself, since you’re in the minority.
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Faith1960
Guest
ROTF! I seriously doubt the POPE would appreciate so much noise people can’t hear.
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Faith1960
Guest
Maybe your cry room stinks. Ours doesn’t.Neither does the neighboring parish. Perhaps the parents who take their children there could be more charitable toward others and clean up after their kids? Unless, it’s the same parents who not only think it’s ok for their kids to make a loud fuss, disrupting Mass for a period of time, and then go and stink up the cry room. I don’t know. Could be.
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babochka
Guest
It is awfully kind of you to give them the benefit of the doubt, and assume their best intentions and a reasonable cause for their behavior, which some might consider rude.
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babochka
Guest
Here you go. I can quote sources for these quotes from Pope Francis if you doubt their veracity.
“…children cry, they are noisy, they don’t stop moving. But it really irritates me when I see a child crying in church and someone says they must go out. God’s voice is in a child’s tears: they must never be kicked out of church.”
“Today the choir will sing but the most beautiful choir of all is the choir of the infants who will make a noise. Some will cry because they are not comfortable or because they are hungry… If they are hungry, mothers, feed them, without thinking twice. Because they are the most important people here.”
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babochka
Guest
Oh, I didn’t realize that you’d spent much time in the cry room, given your lack of ability to tolerate the distraction of baby noise.Maybe your cry room stinks. Ours doesn’t.Neither does the neighboring parish. Perhaps the parents who take their children there could be more charitable toward others and clean up after their kids? Unless, it’s the same parents who not only think it’s ok for their kids to make a loud fuss, disrupting Mass for a period of time, and then go and stink up the cry room. I don’t know. Could be.
I’m glad to know that your parish has an excellent cry room. They can be a good resource for those who desire to use them.
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Faith1960
Guest
Our way to the restroom is through the cry room. HTH.
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zab
Guest
Perhaps by “stinks” the previous poster wasn’t referring to odor. Many parents have learned that cry rooms do not really help parents who are trying to teach their children to behave well at Mass. Instead it becomes a place where some children want to go so they don’t have to sit still and be quiet.Maybe your cry room stinks. Ours doesn’t.Neither does the neighboring parish. Perhaps the parents who take their children there could be more charitable toward others and clean up after their kids? Unless, it’s the same parents who not only think it’s ok for their kids to make a loud fuss, disrupting Mass for a period of time, and then go and stink up the cry room. I don’t know. Could be.
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ProVobis
Guest
Your assistance at Mass isn’t diminished by screaming babies. You may end up with a bad taste in your mouth but know that you still get graces, if not more.
Easier said than done I know.
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sojo
Guest
No cry room here. And the vestibule is tiny and open to the hall so its no help. No covered walkway outside, and my son only wanted to raise a fuss when it was pouring rain. Thankfully my husband (and most dads) not only take turns doing the walking (all the way to the car in inclement weather), but in our parish, dads are seen doing MOST of the walking leaving a harried mom the rare chance to enjoy Mass after a hellish week home with the littles. Books and soft toys and such entertained up to the point of the opening sign of the cross, LOL.
Once with 4 littles and one nearly intractable toddler, a fellow parishioner asked if he could sit with her one row away. He turned into an instant angel. Kids are like that. No way would I even attempt 4 alone back in the day in the instance where my husband had to work (rural area - not many Masses so he often had to work both Sat and Sun on all Mass times) unless I had a friend going who could help spell me. Its no fun missing homilies and prayers for years on end.
The only thing to really worry about is when the babies and toddlers are so quiet you forget they are there for a moment. My son who could not walk at the time slipped off the seat and combat crawled under the pews, between the seat and the kneelers and ended up 8 pews away before someone noticed him, scooped him up and held him up so my husband could see where he was. Truth. Another time he was an angel in the Christmas play (very short, just a few minutes during the presentation of gifts). He refused to exit with the other angels and ended up holding onto the priest’s legs for dear life. My husband was doing the combat crawling then, trying to coax my son off the altar without disrupting the entire Mass. The priest waved him off and just calmly conducted the entire rest of the Mass sitting between Father’s legs, holding on tightly and smiling angelically in his angel wings as Father distributed communion.
Honestly - try to relax. Someday these memories will bring a tear to your eye. And say a prayer for all the parents who have gone before you with these problems! We all wish we had worried less and just enjoyed the little one’s antics more.
Once with 4 littles and one nearly intractable toddler, a fellow parishioner asked if he could sit with her one row away. He turned into an instant angel. Kids are like that. No way would I even attempt 4 alone back in the day in the instance where my husband had to work (rural area - not many Masses so he often had to work both Sat and Sun on all Mass times) unless I had a friend going who could help spell me. Its no fun missing homilies and prayers for years on end.
The only thing to really worry about is when the babies and toddlers are so quiet you forget they are there for a moment. My son who could not walk at the time slipped off the seat and combat crawled under the pews, between the seat and the kneelers and ended up 8 pews away before someone noticed him, scooped him up and held him up so my husband could see where he was. Truth. Another time he was an angel in the Christmas play (very short, just a few minutes during the presentation of gifts). He refused to exit with the other angels and ended up holding onto the priest’s legs for dear life. My husband was doing the combat crawling then, trying to coax my son off the altar without disrupting the entire Mass. The priest waved him off and just calmly conducted the entire rest of the Mass sitting between Father’s legs, holding on tightly and smiling angelically in his angel wings as Father distributed communion.
Honestly - try to relax. Someday these memories will bring a tear to your eye. And say a prayer for all the parents who have gone before you with these problems! We all wish we had worried less and just enjoyed the little one’s antics more.
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SAVINGRACE
Guest
Then don’t complain. They have every right to be there just as you do. You think the parents are not doing everything they can to keep the child calm and quiet? So many judgmental posts on this thread.
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Greenfields
Guest
Oh isn’t this beautiful!
Our old Irish priest used to say "No, no, don’t take the children out "when a parent got up with a crying baby. .
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MissRose73
Guest
At my parish, there is a young couple that brings their 2 kids both under age 2 to Mass. They sit near the front with the grandparents of the kids who also assist them with the kids from time to time especially if the mother is assigned to cantor. The baby is generally quiet and is at an age where she sleeps/rests most of the time in the car seat or someone’s arms. The toddler rarely makes a fuss and by sitting up front, he can see what is going on & I think he understands sometimes his mom has to sit in a different area when she cantors. If either child gets too fussy, they are removed quickly, the needs attended to, and the parent returns with the child. Other parents sit in the back or in the cry room in my parish.
I have no issues with kids at Mass. They do need to be there. Once they get to be preschool/kindergarten age, they should be learning to participate the best they can without toys and food/drink for 1 hour unless they have special needs/disabilities/health issues. There are inexpensive children’s missals available for kids to use that can be purchased at Catholic church supply places in store or online too.
Also, I’ve personally noticed at the EF Masses and the EC Divine Liturgies, its rare to hear children making a fuss. I think that in those churches, there is more for kids to look at like art/statues/stained glass in churches that have EF Masses, and many icons in EC churches as a start. Younger kids also often emulate older siblings and parents very well in terms of what to do in those forms but it can be done at Ordinary Form too.
I have no issues with kids at Mass. They do need to be there. Once they get to be preschool/kindergarten age, they should be learning to participate the best they can without toys and food/drink for 1 hour unless they have special needs/disabilities/health issues. There are inexpensive children’s missals available for kids to use that can be purchased at Catholic church supply places in store or online too.
Also, I’ve personally noticed at the EF Masses and the EC Divine Liturgies, its rare to hear children making a fuss. I think that in those churches, there is more for kids to look at like art/statues/stained glass in churches that have EF Masses, and many icons in EC churches as a start. Younger kids also often emulate older siblings and parents very well in terms of what to do in those forms but it can be done at Ordinary Form too.
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