How to Marry an Idiot

[BlueEyedLady]

Why are you here? To insult Catholics and their beliefs? That is what you are doing to me! I’m allowed to be upset at seeing wrongdoing according to my faith.

I said I abhored weddings where people cohabitated for years… I did not say I abhorred the people. I can hate the sin but love the sinner. The very reason why I abhor it is because I love God and I love his creation. I want what is best for them and people going the route as pointed out in the article are selling themselves short. Seeing people settle and believe what the world touts as ok makes me angry because it spreads more sin. It becomes common place and less and less people are happy and the first person they blame is GOD, and thus chalk it all up to bunk.

Then again,  I can't argue with you because you don't believe in God.

1. Even the church recognizes natural marriages between non believers regardless of how they got their start. You can be upset about the loss of traditional values without insulting the families and martial bonds of those who don’t share them.
2. Why wouldn’t I respond harshly to this? You insulted a large portion of married people and claimed to know their hearts.
3. Which relatives and friends do you exclude from your wedding on the grounds that you have a cohabitation max headcount? That’s what I really couldn’t imagine doing.

I will say that I just attended a wedding of a couple who has been together for 35 years. It was a beautiful testament to their life of love and commitment, and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. No one doubted their intentions, and I would hope that anyone who found it joyless would have stayed home.

I find it strange that you want to celebrate the consummation instead of the public commitment. Anyone can have sex, but getting married is a pretty solemn thing.

I will say that wedding registries make me uncomfortable in general, but especially for older couples and couples who live together first. That’s tacky. But a wedding asks nothing of your guests.

 

[MarcoPolo]

Evidently, if we agree with the notion that living together negates having a public wedding ceremony with reception then, at least in my life, I would never have too attend another wedding, and I’m only 63. My daughter has been in SEVEN weddings in the last 6 years and everyone of the couples had lived together. They are all still together. Just being happy and joyful for the couple is not a waste of your time, if it’s hard for you to understand that concept, then I’m sad for you. The Church has no problem in celebrating the sacrament with those sinners, so I’m happy to attend and witness their joy.

Don’t forget the couples do not marry in a vacuum. For every cohabiting couple that gets married, the more it is normalized, the more it destroys the arena of courtship for those single people who desire to practice chastity prior to marriage. Such singles have become the outcasts, the freaks, among masses of cohabiters whose behavior has been normalized and even certified by media and the irreligious.

 

[AClaire11]

Don’t forget the couples do not marry in a vacuum. For every cohabiting couple that gets married, the more it is normalized, the more it destroys the arena of courtship for those single people who desire to practice chastity prior to marriage. Such singles have become the outcasts, the freaks, among masses of cohabiters whose behavior has been normalized and even certified by media and the irreligious.

So they should not get married? How does that help anyone?

 

[Rose71]

I thank God that my DH and I did things ‘by the book’ and we both wanted a dignified and holy wedding with the wedding service as the most important part…

However, I certainly didn’t always thank God when I spent the best part of 20 years as a single lady, trying to stick with the teachings of the Church but feeling that in doing so, I might as well have put a big neon sign above my head that said, “Freak!”

It’s incredibly hard to not feel resentment and anger when you see couples who have ‘cheated’ their way to the altar making a huge performance out of their ‘big day’. Just ask the older son in the parable of the Prodigal Son It’s totally galling when you’re the only single 20-something or 30-something who attends Mass and the other people your own age are married couples with children. I’m not the only person who was in that position who felt infantalised by the church community in my home town, as though I was this odd woman-child, who still came to Mass with Mum and Dad. Where I lived during the week (and occasionally went to Mass) it was even worse: I was literally shunned as soon as I said I wasn’t married! Combine that with hearing the news that Mrs. X’s lovely daughter has just got married after living with her new DH for the past 5 years and having a child.

You know you ought not to judge and you ought to rejoice that 2 people have entered into a wonderful sacrament (and will now bring baby to Mass for everyone to coo over because they want a Christening and a place at the local Catholic school) but it’s a real test of faith to genuinely give everyone the benefit of the doubt and meet them where they are.

The more you seek God, the more the Devil has it in for you and tries to exploit your weaknesses and sticking to your faith in an age of ‘anything goes’ can feel like running a marathon, getting cramp, blisters and dehydration and staggering bravely toward the finish …only to find a bunch of other runners getting out of a taxi just before the finishing line to thunderous applause medals, flowers and champagne!

That’s why, if we really want to turn the tide and encourage people not to marry idiots and put marriage back where it belongs at the heart of a healthy society and recognised as a holy sacrament, we have to start celebrating our chaste-by-choice adults and cheer them on their way just as loudly as the ‘chased-and-caught’ ones

 

[MarcoPolo]

So they should not get married?

I suggested no such thing. I was drawing attention to the damage done by normalization of and hesitance to criticize cohabitation.