How to overcome lack of desire to pray?

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Rozellelily

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Whenever I pray,no external changes happen and I don’t sense God or feel peace etc so it is literally like a "ritual " and feels like pulling teeth.
It’s the same situation regardless of whether I say formal prayers like the Our Father or just speak from my emotions.
It has been this way all my life.
I don’t have that sense of being in “needy” towards God and usually only pray when I have a desperate situation (eg:illness or similar).
Then when I don’t have an issue,I will be self sufficient and lack the interest to make myself pray.
I pray for others sometimes but it still feels like just a ritual which I force myself to do.

Does anyone have any advice please?
Thanks
 
Rozellelily said:
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The Most Holy Trinity is all goodness. With the help of grace we are able to maintain a state of grace, which is a state including the virtues of faith, hope, and charity. These are motivators to action, including giving glory to The Most Holy Trinity. Those that truly maintain this at the hour of their death, will obtain the Beatific Vision.

Catechism
294 The glory of God consists in the realization of this manifestation and communication of his goodness, for which the world was created. God made us “to be his sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace”,138 for "the glory of God is man fully alive; moreover man’s life is the vision of God: if God’s revelation through creation has already obtained life for all the beings that dwell on earth, how much more will the Word’s manifestation of the Father obtain life for those who see God."139 The ultimate purpose of creation is that God "who is the creator of all things may at last become “all in all”, thus simultaneously assuring his own glory and our beatitude."140
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138 Eph 1:5-6.
139 St. Irenaeus, Adv. haeres. 4,20,7: PG 7/1,1037.
140 AG 2; cf. 1 Cor 15:28.
 
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Acknowledge your feelings, but don’t dwell on them.
Pray anyway.
Are you also reading the Bible and spiritual works? Not so you can “work up” a feeling of faith or desire, but so you understand better the God you are trying to communicate with.
 
Prayer is for all times. We’re not meant to be self sufficient without God. It’s how we communicate with our Father. It’s actually a gift from Him. We’re meant to see an inward change really though an outward change can occur too. It’s really about aligning our will to God’s will.

I’m not saying that we can’t pray when we’re in need… of course we can, and should, but we ought to be praying at all times… in sickness and in health 🙂 but it’s not necessarily about getting what we want, but rather what we need.

My advice is to pray more. It’s hard to have a relationship with someone that we don’t talk with, and it’ll become less strained if you practice more.
 
Go on a Ignatian Silent retreat to come closer to God in prayer!
 
Go to daily mass if you are able. Receiving the Eucharist on a regular basis will lead you to a deeper relationship with God. As you spend more time with him, you will be drawn to prayer throughout the day, if only to say thank you, or help me with this, Lord. You may learn to pray at other times than when you are distressed or in need of something. Perhaps your motivation could be to praise God through the good times in your life as well as the bad.
 
For me there are two types of prayer. The Rosary, the Chaplet, Morning offereing, reading prayers from a book, etc. but also just going about your day and saying little prayers like ‘thank you Jesus’, ‘Lord watch over me’, ‘God what a bozo I am, I’m sorry for that’. Maybe by starting off acknowledging God in little everyday things will lead to a better prayer life.
 
Sometimes I feel that prayer is like a skill - you have to practice, a lot, to get good at it, and that’s going to involve “boring” stuff like practicing scales, not just giving concerts. 😉

I remember at one point when I was feeling particularly low in my spiritual life I decided to give regular Adoration a try. The first few times when I went I was bored stiff. I knew I was sitting in the real presence of Jesus in the Eucharist, and I was completely and utterly bored. But I stuck with it, and slowly but surely it began to change my life.

I don’t think ruts are, necessarily, a sign that something is not working. Sometimes perseverance is the lesson God wants us to learn. I know that He is teaching me all the time that I need to get over this idea that I should be 100% entertained all the time and occupied. Sometimes I need to just lean into “being.”
 
Go to a quiet place, preferably with an icon or statue of Our Lord and Our Lady, and repeat “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. Most Holy Mother of God, save me” fifty times. Slowly. Thoughtfully. The Holy Spirit will communicate with your heart.
 
Pray.

Simply talk to God.

I’d really suggest you pick up Fr Dubay’s book “The Prayer Primer”.
 
I also find prayer difficult. I don’t ever see this addressed but my issue (problem) with prayer maybe a little different from the OP.

I find some people I encounter in my life has the “gift of gab”. They can talk to a stranger, or a friend or an acquaintance for long periods of time without running out of something to say. I realize that prayer is not the same as talking to a friend or an acquaintance but the point is the same. I, almost immediately run of out of things to say. In our daily encounters with others there is usually a dialogue. Not being directly talked back to (at least audibly), there is nothing to maintain the conversation.

Maybe the solution is to recite prayers either memorized, or from a book of prayers for people with the issue I have and maybe the OP. Every time I try to pray I think too long and hard about what to say and how to say it, then immediately feel like giving up such that I don’t say something too stupid or not proper.
 
Prayer isn’t really only about finding words to say, it’s more about raising our thoughts to God 🙂 God already knows everything you need. The more we put God in first place in our lives, the more we align our will to His.
 
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Exactly, simply saying “I love you, your will be done” is a powerful prayer.
 
Rozellelily said:
Whenever I pray,no external changes happen and I don’t sense God or feel peace etc so it is literally like a "ritual " and feels like pulling teeth.
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We don’t pray to get this stuff.
We pray to build up a habit of praying and talking to God.
Eventually as we build a relationship with God, we see benefits that may or may not involve external changes or a feeling of peace.

it’s like changing your diet to a healthy eating plan, or exercising every day. For many people it will feel useless or even lousy, perhaps for rather a long time, but at some point a breakthrough happens, perhaps gradually, and you start seeing benefits.

It’s up to you whether you want to put in the work to build that relationship with God.
If you’re looking for instant gratification, it’s probably not going to happen.
 
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Rozellelily said:
Whenever I pray,no external changes happen and I don’t sense God or feel peace etc so it is literally like a "ritual " and feels like pulling teeth.

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I don’t have that sense of being in “needy” towards God and usually only pray when I have a desperate situation (eg:illness or similar).
…
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This is not what prayer is for.

There are 4 types of prayer. It looks like you only really do prayers of petition ie. you only prayer when you need something.

Imagine you had a friend and literally the only time you talked to that friend was when you needed something. Would that relationship grow and be nurtured by this or would this relationship fall apart?

We have to treat our relationship with God as we do all other relationships. We must nurture it and work to maintain it. This is were the other types of prayer come into play.
  • We can pray prayers of praise ie praise and worship God for who he is.
  • We can pray prayers of thanksgiving ie in good times and bad you can thank God for the blessings in your life.
  • We can pray prayers of contrition ie we can ask for God’s forgiveness for for things we have done that ar contrary to his word.
Now, imagine that same friendship except now, instead of always asking for things you complement each other, you show appreciation for what they have done for you, and you ask forgiveness if you offend them. Isn’t this the basis for a friendship and will thrive and deepen overtime?

Sometimes we expect that prayer just happens. Occasionally this is true, but more often than not we must learn to pray. When we do, and when we pray regularly, we will experience that closeness you are seeking. You will then be better able to see and appreciate the great graces God is pouring out on your life. 🙂
 
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Prayer is one of the hardest things honestly. Sometimes it can feel like talking to a brick wall. But other times it can lead to intense and joyful emotions. Usually its a roll of the dice which feeling will come.

If you think about it, it’s very similar to someone who works a job. Sometimes they are bored out of their mind the whole day and other times they have a fairly good productive day and felt passionate about what they were doing. The days they don’t like, they don’t stop showing up, do they? Of course they don’t. They stick to it no matter what because it’s a responsibility, and they won’t be able to make a living without it. Likewise, we will die without prayer. Internally and eternally. That’s why God expects us to at least talk to Him for a little bit of the day. Not because its a pointless chore, but because we are weak without it and will eventually fall into the grips of the devil without it.

Set up a routine and stick with it. Virtues are habits, they say. Ingrain that habit into your life and make it priority #1. I also know Ignatian spirituality works a lot. Try taking some notes from St. Teresa of Avila. She didn’t like prayer very much at first either (and I’m sure she continued to struggle with it from then on at times) but look at her now!

Btw, if you feel like you’ve always disliked prayer, maybe try something different. Work on contemplative or mental prayer. When we just start out, we often won’t be very good at communicating with God. All things take practice. Expect periods of dryness. It purifies us.
 
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Adoration!!!

Go to adoration.

Just sit there in His presence.

Before long, you will have something to say to Him. Actually, you can print your post and just read it to Him.

He will have something to say to you.

Once you are aware that He is there, you will be changed.
 
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