Let’s say that prayer has five stages: Preparation, Posture, Prayer, Practice and Patience.
PREPARE: Review what our Lord taught us about prayer: “Pray for those who persecute you”. Few of us suffer actual persecution, but we are often offended by others. We are all on a faith journey, and our conversion is a process. Those around us are at a different point than we are. All need our charitable example to provoke conversion within them. It is likely that none of them is happy or at peace. The first thing we should do for others is to love and forgive them. Then we should pray for them.
Those you mentioned are also prayed for during each Rosary: “…and lead all souls to heaven, especially those in most need of thy mercy” Imagine, if any one of those persons died tonight, what would become of their souls? Do they ever contemplate their death? Not likely, indicating that they are not prepared for it, should it arrive unexpectedly. Consider that God loves them infinitely, and wants them to spend eternity with Him. If we are to be perfect as our heavenly Father is perfect, then we must also love them.
In the Lord’s prayer, we pray “forgive us our trespasses (sins) as we forgive those who trespass (sin) against us” We will see little result from our prayers if we lack forgiveness, or harbor hardness of heart toward others. Forgiveness of those who have wronged you opens the door to effective prayer. You cannot hold both a grudge and prayer intentions in the same heart. One will force the other out.
Important: Let your anger, frustration and resentment go - before you seek to pray. I strongly urge you to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation before you pray. Unforgiven sins are a burden on your soul which will both prevent effective prayer as well as distract you from that prayer. You need a proper environment in which to pray. Arrange a spot in your house where you can spend time in prayer relatively undisturbed. Have maybe a picture, a bible, a candle or other sacramental item there to assist you.
Prayer is intensely personal and, as part of preparation, it would be good to speak with your Priest or spiritual director about the forms it might take. There are many good books on the subject, probably in your parish library.
POSTURE: In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus threw Himself headlong onto the ground. He assumed a position which was proper for the type of prayer He was offering, and reflected the depth and sincerity of that prayer. Kneeling is the most common posture, but sitting or even standing are also fine. Try different postures during prayer. Holding your hands in the classic “praying hands” position is quite natural. I find that kneeling, while holding my arms in the lifting position, palms up, is good. We “lift” those for whom we pray up in prayer, right?
Next, recall that you received the gifts of the Holy Spirit at your confirmation. Those gifts are meant to be used. You have a desire for prayer and this indicates that the gifts you possess are intended for prayer. You have probably heard about “praying in the Spirit”. This is not an eccentric charismatic craze, but is the manner in which we are intended to offer prayer. You need a moment of silence before you begin. An examination of conscience will help. Call upon the Holy Spirit to be present to you. You may very well sense this when it occurs. The Holy Spirit is especially present, in a most powerful and awe-inspiring way, when you pray before Christ in the Blessed Sacrament. At Adoration, prayer is magnified.
PRAYER: There are several types of prayer: Praise, Thanksgiving, Petition and Contemplation (probably others as well). Praise is what we offer to God for His own sake. He deserves praise for all that He is: Love, goodness, mercy, Creator of all that is. Thanksgiving is exactly that - thanks for what we, or others have received and are receiving. Petition is probably the most common type of prayer. We are always asking for things. In truth, since God does not change, what we do through prayers of petition is to conform our wills to His. We are at peace when we humbly accept God’s will (“thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven…”). Contemplative prayer is a profound and very satisfying type. The Rosary is a perfect example of contemplative prayer. We simply contemplate the immensity and beauty of God and His presence in our lives.
Begin with a moment of silence and place yourself in the Lord’s presence. Pray as if speaking directly to Him - because you are. Let the Holy Spirit lead you. Simply repeating words or phrases will return little, if anything. Speak to God and know that He hears every prayer. Since God knows your heart, some prayers can be without words, as that best conveys your intention at that moment. As to the form of your prayer, you might try an introduction, body, and conclusion (just like a speech) as it lends needed structure so that you do not ramble. Simple, direct, from the heart prayers are always the best.
PRACTICE. Offer prayers of thanksgiving before your feet touch the floor in the morning. Offer thanks for your family, your faith, your home. Give thanks before eating, while driving, once you arrive, and for all good things which occur during the day. Pray upon retiring for the evening. Pray constantly, as Saint Paul teaches. Practice makes perfect in prayer.
PATIENCE: A thousand years are like a day to the Lord. Some prayers are answered immediately. Others seemingly never. Have patience with God as He has patience with you. Ask that His will be done, which is the prayer of a humble heart. God sees the big picture, and we see only a quick glimpse of a small part of that picture. In matters of life, there is always more involved than we know. I pray that something here will help you.
