How to teach children about poverty

  • Thread starter Thread starter ms83
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
M

ms83

Guest
I really did not know what else to call this thread but I hope it somewhat discribes what I am going to ask. I have a 6 year old son and a 7mth old son. I grew up in a fairly well off middle class family and always had what I needed, not to put any blame on my parents, but for the most part grew up not really thinking about the poor or less fortunate. Now a little about me.

I was a lapsed cradle Catholic until a little over 6 months ago when my wife wanted to start back to church. This brought forth a zeal that she and I were not really expecting and we have begun to change our ways and lives accordingly. Now some background on my son.

As a parent, I am sure I am not the only one, you want to give your children anythig they want, to a point. My oldest is very spoiled not just by us but by the family as well (he is the first grandchild). He has become very materialistic (I am sure this sounds wierd for a six year old but he is very intellegent for his age), He will get gifts or packages and enjoy then maybe for a day and then want something else. This has really began to worry me because it is only getting worse. My wife and I agree that we need to cut a lot of things back, we have also talked to the grandparents and other family.

Ok, here is the question. I would like to start giving him a better world perspective with out going to far. I want to know if anyone has some advise on what or when you can start exposing your children to what the world is truly like, such as, world hunger, or even as simple as the working poor here in the US. I want to instill in him over time a true understanding of what we are meant to do with the blessing that God bestows on us. Any comments are appreciated. Thank you for taking a look.

Matt
 
My daughter is 6 and we talk to her sometimes about how there are other kids in the world who aren’t as lucky as she is in terms of food, shelter, and possessions. With Christmas coming, it has reminded me of the need to cull our material possessions. I think we will soon have her go through and choose some toys to give away, and really emphasize how good of a thing it is to share with those less fortunate. I predict it will be hard. It’s not that she’s super materialistic, but she gets sentimentally attached to small things (like random scraps of paper). I know she gets that from me. When I was little, I cried when my parents switched out the old ceiling fan in the kitchen and made my parents keep it in a box and show me where they put it in the garage. :o

But detachment and generosity are good lessons to teach our children. It’s never too early.
 
ms83 said:
I really did not know what else to call this thread but I hope it somewhat discribes what I am going to ask. I have a 6 year old son and a 7mth old son. I grew up in a fairly well off middle class family and always had what I needed, not to put any blame on my parents, but for the most part grew up not really thinking about the poor or less fortunate. Now a little about me.

I was a lapsed cradle Catholic until a little over 6 months ago when my wife wanted to start back to church. This brought forth a zeal that she and I were not really expecting and we have begun to change our ways and lives accordingly. Now some background on my son.

As a parent, I am sure I am not the only one, you want to give your children anythig they want, to a point. My oldest is very spoiled not just by us but by the family as well (he is the first grandchild). He has become very materialistic (I am sure this sounds wierd for a six year old but he is very intellegent for his age), He will get gifts or packages and enjoy then maybe for a day and then want something else. This has really began to worry me because it is only getting worse. My wife and I agree that we need to cut a lot of things back, we have also talked to the grandparents and other family.

Ok, here is the question. I would like to start giving him a better world perspective with out going to far. I want to know if anyone has some advise on what or when you can start exposing your children to what the world is truly like, such as, world hunger, or even as simple as the working poor here in the US. I want to instill in him over time a true understanding of what we are meant to do with the blessing that God bestows on us. Any comments are appreciated. Thank you for taking a look.

Matt
Click to expand...
Go to a downtown area and work at a soup kitchen with your son. It’s much better to dive right in than to talk about poor people as some sort of distant abstraction.

Oh, and it’s wonderful what God is doing in your life right now! 👍
 
Most parishes have a “Giving Tree” or an “Adopt a family” program of some kind. I think it’s great to let kids be involved in selecting gifts for kids in a family that is struggling. When my niece was acting spoiled, I took her with me to pick out coats and toys for some of the children on my school’s Giving Tree. When we were shopping, I told her a little bit about the kids we were shopping for. (Not their names obviously) She really got into it and I think it helped her to realize that Christmas gifts are about giving and not getting.

Another good idea is to visit or volunteer at a Children’s hospital or nursing home Christmas party. My mother worked in a hospital and then a nursing home when I was growing up and we were always expected to work at these events, even as young children. Mama was in charge of the kitchen and she needed the extra hands, but an added bonus was that we learned compassion and the value of serving others. Plus, I got to learn to use a popcorn machine at a young age.
 
Thank you for the comments and suggestions. I have been looking into some voluteer opertunities where he maybe able to at least be there if not help himself.
 
My parents always told me to be thankful for my nice things, but I never really got it until I went to college and joined clubs to help those less fortunate. My college was filled with spoiled, upper-middle class out-of-touch white kids, and I couldn’t stand how rude and petty most of them were, so I decided to try to be a much better person. You have to see things to understand them. As I child, I was aware of things like the third world and extreme poverty, but not in any way I could relate to. They were just words and pictures. I honestly don’t know the solution to your problem. I think it might have to come with age. I know some of my friends’ parents would have them volunteer or do work at soup kitchens and those kinds of things. Sometimes I think forced work of that ilk backfires though.

Just repeatedly tell your kids that money doesn’t make them better; it just means they have more to give back to the community. Most of my high school and college class probably still doesn’t understand this concept.
 
I very much like all the suggestions, so far.

Please consider my thoughts as well. When you start giving your child an allowance, do so with the proviso that one-third goes for savings, one-third goes for free-spending, and one-third goes for charity. Explain that if we - as human beings who love one another - do not contribute to the needy (i.e., charity) that there would be no charity at all. It doesn’t matter if the one-third to be set aside for savings is only pennies… pennies add up to dollars, eventually. (You could start teaching even in youth about the responsibility of debt, paying bills, making loans, earning a salary, balancing a check-book, keeping a savings account, etc. Some of my fondest memories were of entering that big bank on the corner of Church and Flatbush Avenues in Brooklyn to deposit my rolled-up pennies, and earn a stamp of interest in my passbook. The tellers treated me like they would any depositor – with respect. It helped me form a positive opinion of myself.)

Help your children learn that there are many different types of charity… Doctors Without Borders… United Way… the Red Cross… Clean Water charities… the Heifer Project… Covenant House… your own neighborhood or local food pantry for the needy, etc. Perhaps let your children pick the charity they wish to save for. Sometimes, when such a cause is close to the heart, they will want to save more, and more willingly, too.

Teach them that giving does not always mean giving money. Giving of one’s time and effort is sometimes even more valuable.

Teach them that gaining a good education is a fight against poverty, too (i.e., if they grow up to be doctors or dentists, they might donate their services at Native American reservations, or in the mountains of Appalachia, to help those citizens in our country who need so much but who have so little).

I could go on and on about this… it’s a topic that is near and dear to my heart… :o
 
Et_Cetera said:
Sometimes I think forced work of that ilk backfires though.
Click to expand...
Well, if the parent does it merely as a duty, the child learns not to really care about the poor. But if the parents are imitating Christ, and showing authentic love, I don’t see how that could ever backfire.
 
I love this question! I can’t speak enough about how important this is. Some ideas…

If there are refugees in your community, I highly recommend bringing your children into contact with them if possible – there are typically multiple volunteer opportunities that are appropriate even for little ones. Our family has learned about the countries of origin of many refugees in our area, too, which helps children to recognize the incredible differences that exist among humans and the amount of financial resources we have.

Every Lent we also put together hospitality packs for our community’s homeless that include basic toiletries – we do this through a collection we take up among friends, neighbors, and families. It’s amazing how people’s generosity can affect little eyes that are watching. The packs are donated to Catholic Family Services and my 5-year-old is so, so proud when we drop off the materials.

A food drive for your local food cupboard is another great option anytime. I keep a box in our pantry and our daughter puts something non-perishable in every few days.

You might also think about donating to something like Heifer International, which gives you the chance to purchase livestock for families, thereby transforming their economic status permanently. Our family really loves looking through the catalog, selecting an animal, learning about how it will help another family, and reading the organization’s success stories.

I also wouldn’t discount the power of children’s books to help. Think, too, about resources like Anne Neuberger’s site (anneneuberger.com), which is devoted to teaching young children about the Church’s social teachings. I also like the book Just Family Nights, which is out of print but can be purchased used. It contains some great ideas for exploring topics like poverty with the whole family.

If your child engages with larger groups (a faith formation class, for example), there are also games that can be played – you might look up one that deals with M&M’s, for instance, which emphasizes the haves and have-nots in each community.

Best of luck!
 
ms83 said:

“My oldest is very spoiled not just by us but by the family as well (he is the first grandchild). He has become very materialistic (I am sure this sounds wierd for a six year old but he is very intellegent for his age), He will get gifts or packages and enjoy then maybe for a day and then want something else. This has really began to worry me because it is only getting worse. My wife and I agree that we need to cut a lot of things back, we have also talked to the grandparents and other family.”

What you’ve got is a completely normal 6-year-old. They are often very acquisitive.

I suggest metering out his gifts more so that he doesn’t get bored with his Christmas gifts before the end of December.

Another thing I recommend is a deep quarterly room cleaning. He is very likely to find stuff he had forgotten about if he goes over his room toy by toy. Also, you should be able to find stuff he doesn’t want that can be shared with either younger sibling, family friends, or the Goodwill box.

Best wishes!
 
ms83 said:
I really did not know what else to call this thread but I hope it somewhat discribes what I am going to ask. I have a 6 year old son and a 7mth old son. I grew up in a fairly well off middle class family and always had what I needed, not to put any blame on my parents, but for the most part grew up not really thinking about the poor or less fortunate. Now a little about me.

I was a lapsed cradle Catholic until a little over 6 months ago when my wife wanted to start back to church. This brought forth a zeal that she and I were not really expecting and we have begun to change our ways and lives accordingly. Now some background on my son.

As a parent, I am sure I am not the only one, you want to give your children anythig they want, to a point. My oldest is very spoiled not just by us but by the family as well (he is the first grandchild). He has become very materialistic (I am sure this sounds wierd for a six year old but he is very intellegent for his age), He will get gifts or packages and enjoy then maybe for a day and then want something else. This has really began to worry me because it is only getting worse. My wife and I agree that we need to cut a lot of things back, we have also talked to the grandparents and other family.

Ok, here is the question. I would like to start giving him a better world perspective with out going to far. I want to know if anyone has some advise on what or when you can start exposing your children to what the world is truly like, such as, world hunger, or even as simple as the working poor here in the US. I want to instill in him over time a true understanding of what we are meant to do with the blessing that God bestows on us. Any comments are appreciated. Thank you for taking a look.

Matt
Click to expand...
Its great what you want to do and you have been given some wonderful ideas.

I think it is necessary to give a face to poverty. Kids and even some adults tune out when you talk about starving kids in Africa etc. Let your son meet orphans or the poor, mix with and share his toys with them.
 
Much will come of your own example. It can be simple things. As a child, we lived overseas. Once a year, there was an “adopt an orphan for a day” program in which orphans had a chance to experience life with a family. As large our family was, we generally “adopted” two or three boys for the special outing. My parents played Mr. and Mrs. Claus at the orphanage. As members of the American Legion, they were in charge of making the purchases for Christmas presents for senior citizens in nursing homes.
There are numerous volunteer opportunities in your community for you to be involved, and you can involve your children in some of them. Having experienced homelessness themselves, my grandchildren sleep one night each year in a cardboard box to bring awareness to the reality that so many face on a daily basis. They are now old enough to be Santa helpers.
 
In addition to all the other good suggestions above, I would add that around Christmas time, there are a lot of opportunities to buy Christmas gifts for children in your community who would otherwise go without. Our family got two tags from the Salvation Army’s Angel Tree, and the kids and I went shopping together. The kids really got into it and were happy that they could help pick out Christmas presents for these kids “whose parents don’t have money to buy presents.”

(Note that we don’t do Santa at my house, so my kids are well aware that if the parents don’t have money, that means no Christmas presents.)

Now, that doesn’t mean that I don’t get exasperated with them from time to time about how much they’re clamoring for certain gifts for Christmas and constantly adding more requests to their Christmas list, etc., but I think it was a very good reminder for them that not all families can afford to buy presents. Our church also collects canned goods for the local food pantry, so we’ve talked about how some families can’t afford to buy enough food and the church helps them, and we try to remember to bring canned goods on the weekends the church is collecting. When they are a bit older, we plan to volunteer at the local soup kitchen.
 
ms83 said:
…As a parent, I am sure I am not the only one, you want to give your children anythig they want, to a point…
Click to expand...
No, we didn’t want that. We wanted them to be content with a limited amount and to know how to make do. This will help them to keep from finding themselves in poverty or having to work a job they hate because it doesn’t pay enough to buy all the toys they want when they are adults. The less stuff they need to be happy, the more likely that they’ll be happy and the less likely they’ll ever feel poor. My parents felt the same way.

We used to take our sons to the toy store to buy toys for children whose parents could not buy them things for Christmas. They got nothing for themselves on those outings. They were fine with that, and liked the idea of making someone just like them happy on Christmas Day. (They are twins, so we always bought “twin” gifts, too, so that some twins out there could get the same thing on Christmas.)

The other thing we did was to teach our children to take care of their things so that they’d be in good enough shape to give to someone else when they were done with them. Teach them to hold on to things lightly and to put people before things. They’ll be happier in this life.

Now, having said that, our children also know that if they are frugal most of the time, then they’ll have the money for something special when the time comes. I don’t want to give the idea that they don’t get anything materialistic, because that wouldn’t be true. They get most of the things they really want, but they don’t really want all that much. Many times when we’ve asked them what they want for Christmas, they really didn’t have any pressing ideas. That is partly because they are not super-materialistic, but partly because we don’t set up Christmas as the day you “get things you’ve been waiting for.”

Mostly, though, teach them that poor people are just like everyone else, only they have less stuff at the moment. Some of them have never had much, but some have had a lot and lost it. Either way, they are still just people, with all the combinations of problems that people have, usually made worse by having too little money or too few skills or capacity to make money. Treat them as you would want to be treated, in their shoes.
 
Sunay Mass is a good place to start. He’ll like putting his money in the collection basket, take him over to the poor box to make another donation too. Take him to the manger for a visit. Discuss before and after how little Christ had but was happy. He’ll probably think it was pretty neat to have all those animals around Him and to be visited by the shephards and three kings. Have him pick a name off the Joshua tree and then go to the store and buy that person the present. Involve him in wrapping it etc.

Receiving from grandparents is great but he’s old enough to make them a card or a present. He should also be told to say “Thank You” immediately and even if it is something he doesn’t like, to act pleased and give a genuine hug. Also leaving a note to Santa with a snack teaches appreciation and caring for another who is especially good to you.

Let him know now that he should select x number of toys, books etc. which the two of you will take to the Church thrift shop to be refurbished by Santa’s elves for other kids.

After the first of the year, have him go with you to donate clothes he’s outgrown.

He’s a little boy. Try not to burden him with the world’s problems. Start small. He’ll get there.
 
aicirt said:
Sunay Mass is a good place to start. He’ll like putting his money in the collection basket, take him over to the poor box to make another donation too. Take him to the manger for a visit. Discuss before and after how little Christ had but was happy. He’ll probably think it was pretty neat to have all those animals around Him and to be visited by the shephards and three kings. Have him pick a name off the Joshua tree and then go to the store and buy that person the present. Involve him in wrapping it etc.

Receiving from grandparents is great but he’s old enough to make them a card or a present. He should also be told to say “Thank You” immediately and even if it is something he doesn’t like, to act pleased and give a genuine hug. Also leaving a note to Santa with a snack teaches appreciation and caring for another who is especially good to you.

Let him know now that he should select x number of toys, books etc. which the two of you will take to the Church thrift shop to be refurbished by Santa’s elves for other kids.

After the first of the year, have him go with you to donate clothes he’s outgrown.

He’s a little boy. Try not to burden him with the world’s problems. Start small. He’ll get there.

I was all on board with this post until the last four sentences. Exposing children to the fact that incredible disparity exists is not burdening them with the world’s problems. 400 million children are currently living in extreme poverty – it’s never too early to teach children that their counterparts are not as fortunate but can be helped if we choose to help. This isn’t a soul-crushing message – it’s an uplifting one! Children should recognize inequity and subsequently ask, “What can I do?”
Click to expand...
 
aicirt said:
Sunay Mass is a good place to start. He’ll like putting his money in the collection basket, take him over to the poor box to make another donation too. Take him to the manger for a visit. Discuss before and after how little Christ had but was happy. He’ll probably think it was pretty neat to have all those animals around Him and to be visited by the shephards and three kings. Have him pick a name off the Joshua tree and then go to the store and buy that person the present. Involve him in wrapping it etc.

Receiving from grandparents is great but he’s old enough to make them a card or a present. He should also be told to say “Thank You” immediately and even if it is something he doesn’t like, to act pleased and give a genuine hug. Also leaving a note to Santa with a snack teaches appreciation and caring for another who is especially good to you.

Let him know now that he should select x number of toys, books etc. which the two of you will take to the Church thrift shop to be refurbished by Santa’s elves for other kids.

After the first of the year, have him go with you to donate clothes he’s outgrown.

He’s a little boy. Try not to burden him with the world’s problems. Start small. He’ll get there.
Agreed. Teach simplicity and thankfulness.
I remember growing up saying “Thank you,_________” as we opened each Christmas present even if the person was not there (and mostly they weren’t). We tagged each gift so that we could immediately write thank you letters to people who had sent us presents.
Since Christmas is about the birth of the Christ child, and not about us, my husband and I set a one present rule before marriage. It’s hard to explain, but even growing up, I had actually enjoyed those years when we had fewer gifts under the tree.
It would also mean more consistency from year to year, instead of fluctuating from many gifts one year to only a few the next as I had experienced during childhood.
My parents kept a box in the closet for clothes that we had outgrown, and could no longer be passed down to younger siblings. A tradition that I continued, as does my daughter. When filled, they go to the thrift shop. Shopping at thrift shops not only saves money but goes to a good cause.
My parents were gardeners ( a gene that I did not inherit) who shared their excess bounty with neighbors.
Teach simple gestures of generosity–the toy chosen for Toys for Tots, and the other examples given on this thread so far. Model these simple gestures in your own life.
Click to expand...
 
gracepoole said:
I was all on board with this post until the last four sentences. Exposing children to the fact that incredible disparity exists is not burdening them with the world’s problems. 400 million children are currently living in extreme poverty – it’s never too early to teach children that their counterparts are not as fortunate but can be helped if we choose to help. This isn’t a soul-crushing message – it’s an uplifting one! Children should recognize inequity and subsequently ask, “What can I do?”
Click to expand...
This is a little boy of six. He’ll have his own cross without burdening him with the thought of 400 million kids having less. He’ll get it. His parents are trying to find ways not to make him selfish and ungrateful. Christ said the poor will always be with us. It will be a constant battle to the end of time. Charity begins in the home. Take care of the ones taking care of you and that is something he can do. I don’t believe in making kids old before their time. Just my opinion.
 
aicirt said:
This is a little boy of six. He’ll have his own cross without burdening him with the thought of 400 million kids having less. He’ll get it. His parents are trying to find ways not to make him selfish and ungrateful. Christ said the poor will always be with us. It will be a constant battle to the end of time. Charity begins in the home. Take care of the ones taking care of you and that is something he can do. I don’t believe in making kids old before their time. Just my opinion.
Click to expand...
This is a topic that comes up for me every semester with a new crop of college students who are studying children’s literature, human rights, or both. And there is much to be said for the notion that our desire to shelter children from this kind of reality says more about us as adults than it does about children and what they can handle. Teaching compassion must start early. Usually adults are the ones who feel uncomfortable with children knowing about ugly truths, in part because we cling to the belief that there is some sort of idealized period of youth in which blissful ignorance exists and we dislike that this period is past us (it actually doesn’t really exist – kids are savvy to hardships from the get-go). But children who grow up with the lessons of Christ know about poverty early – and again, if we teach them positively, we empower even the youngest to see themselves as agents of positive change. My daughter is 5 and she is a very sensitive child – yet she also knows how rare her position in the world is and she is often engaged in projects that benefit those who are less fortunate. And she’s actually an extremely happy child! Once we let go of the belief that children will be negatively impacted by hearing about poverty, we begin to empower them to be true Christians even as youngsters. Just my opinion… 🙂
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top