How to tell friends why I am not receiving the Holy Eucharist

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tassitus said:
Isn’t it odd that we can find ourselves in this particular predicament. I would think if we were all true Catholics that about 1/4 to 1/3 would NOT be going up for communion on any given Sunday. AND that all those who can go understand the reason that others cannot. Funny, isn’t it?
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I would probably guess that at least 80-90 percent of the people receiving Communion are in a state of mortal sin and should not be receiving. It’s a pity how people have kinda thrown the beautiful sacrament of Reconciliation out the window.
baltobetsy said:
OK, hamburglar, Sunday has come and gone. What did you do?
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Actually, I couldn’t ask for a better outcome. Okay, here we go:

I went to the Tridentine Mass with my mother. I told her before hand that I would not be going to Communion. She didn’t ask why. I told her that she should still go. She was a little hesistant to go, because she hadn’t received on her tongue, kneeling for around 40 years. I encouraged her, since this was the only mass she would be going to, and she did in fact receive.

Later that day, I went to dinner. My College has a group where some guys that are considering a vocation in the Church go out to dinner about once a month and chat, sometimes with a Priest, which would be different every month so we could get a taste of the different orders. We would then follow up with the 8:00 Mass on campus. So we went to dinner, and this priest was the vocations director for the Midwest Dominicans province. It was a great experience.

Anyway, we went back to Church, and we dropped him off at the Dominican center for the nuns near our campus (my college was founded by the Dominican sisters of Marywood) so he could get his habit. He came back to the campus to say mass, and since I was the Sacristan, I was in the Sacristy preparing for mass. I just asked him if I could get a confession in before mass, and he agreed. Another kid wanted to do the same thing (which is GREAT!)

So it turned out fine, and the Mass was fantastic. Those Dominicans are called the Order of Preachers for a reason!

He’s the celebrant for today’s mass as well. I can hardly wait!

Thanks for all the help, everybody.
 
In the too little too late department:

Quote for them the Apostle Paul from 1 Thessalonians 4:11, which reads in part: “Mind your own business”.

😃

– Mark L. Chance.
 
I found myself in a similar situation years ago. It was during the week, and my parish priest was not hearing confessions, except through appointment, and he was away until Saturday, the day I would be away. SOoooo, after praying to the Blessed Mother, asking her to make confession available to me, a co-worker came over to me and said he wanted to go on the retreat I was chairman of. I took his retreat deposit and registration over to the monastery and found out, that I could go to confession at that particular moment.

So, the lesson learned for me was, first, don’t commit a mortal sin. Second, pray to Our Lady to bring you to confession, when needed.

Jim
 
hamburglar said:
I would probably guess that at least 80-90 percent of the people receiving Communion are in a state of mortal sin and should not be receiving. It’s a pity how people have kinda thrown the beautiful sacrament of Reconciliation out the window.
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Only God can see into the soul of others and assess their interior life. Thump #1.

People who are not practicing their faith as they should may be doing so out of ignorance. This may mitigate whether they are really in a state of mortal sin. Thump #2

Some of the people who do not use the Sacrament today as they should were talked erroneously by their parents, their CCD teachers, and their Pastors. They are not fully responsible for this. Thump #3.

Hamburglar, I say all this because you appear to be discerning the Priesthood which makes you a very precious gem for our Church. Sometime during your discernment, your vocation director will talk about “living in the tension.” It is about seeing the world as it is and how God wants it to be. You are placed in the tension with the obligation to lessen the chasm between the two. It is about thinking you know much about others and consciously denying what you think you know so you can be open to what God wants you to UNDERSTAND about them. It is about seeing what your flock needs to know and being patient enough to allow the Holy Spirit to bring knowledge, wisdom and understanding.

It is in this context, especially at this stage of your discernment, it is only important that you are focusing on:

Are YOU living as the Church teaches more than you are assessing how others are living?
Are YOU praying for God’s guidance more than you are offering to guide others?
Are YOU practicing as the Church teaches more than you are assessing how others are practicing?

Final rhetorical question for you. You were struggling on how you not recieve communion w/o engendering questioning from your mother or friends. Could it be that your mother was trying to tell you the same thing when she was hesitant to go to communion? How do you really know? A Pastor friend of mine says that the secret of being a good pastor is to listen more than talk, pray more than preach, and to submit more than rule.

God bless you and you are in my prayers.
 
I am still woefully confused as to what constitutes mortal sin (other than premeditated murder).
 
Sailor_Kenshin said:
I am still woefully confused as to what constitutes mortal sin (other than premeditated murder).
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Back in the “old days”, when we learned our catechism, we knew that for mortal sin to occur, there had to be three things: serious matter, full consent of the will, and sufficient reflection. You have to know you are doing something serious (breaking the commandments), completely will to do it, and think about what it means to do this wrong thing. It would take a series of talks by a good priest to go into the detail of all this, but check our new Catechism. Hope this helps.
 
sphilomena said:
Back in the “old days”, when we learned our catechism, we knew that for mortal sin to occur, there had to be three things: serious matter, full consent of the will, and sufficient reflection. You have to know you are doing something serious (breaking the commandments), completely will to do it, and think about what it means to do this wrong thing. It would take a series of talks by a good priest to go into the detail of all this, but check our new Catechism. Hope this helps.
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Where can I find the Catechism?
 
CarrieH said:
Perhaps you could say something along the lines of, “I need to go to confession first. I’m not going to compound my sin by receiving unworthily, and I want to set a good example for others so they won’t feel weird if they don’t receive for whatever reason.” They can’t argue with that! And if anyone asks what your sin was, you can always jokingly tell them that you murdered somebody who asked what your sins were.😉
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:rotfl:
 
hamburglar said:
uh-oh, I just remembered that I am taking my mother to the Tridentine Mass tomorrow. I won’t be able to receive there either, but now I must face my mom. What should I tell her? I don’t wanna say mind your own business to her…
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Why would your mom even ask? She should be glad that you take your faith so seriously. I have never been with family or anything that was rude about receiving or not. Usually we always ask each other if we are going to receive before going to the Mass, just for sitting arrangements and no one bothers. Just tell your mom to put you in her prayers and GET TO CONFESSION.
 
porthos11 said:
By the way, all priests are required under Canon Law not to refuse any reasonable request for Confession. If you can, catch the priest a generous time before Mass and make a quick, three-minute or less Confession. He will surely not refuse you.
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When the priest walks in the moment Mass begins, it makes it impossible to go to confession before Mass. That happens a lot at my church.

Am I the only one reading this thread who detects a lot of perceived pressure to always receive Communion because others expect us to? If you can’t receive due to mortal sin, improper disposition, or breaking the fast, stay in your seat and pray for a spiritual Communion. Who cares what other people think? They are not worth going to hell over.
 
paramedicgirl said:
When the priest walks in the moment Mass begins, it makes it impossible to go to confession before Mass. That happens a lot at my church.

Am I the only one reading this thread who detects a lot of perceived pressure to always receive Communion because others expect us to? If you can’t receive due to mortal sin, improper disposition, or breaking the fast, stay in your seat and pray for a spiritual Communion. Who cares what other people think? They are not worth going to hell over.
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We attended Mass for over a year before we were baptized, confirmed, etc… and we never went in the Communion line (I new THAT much, at least!) and no one ever questioned us.

You could always say, “Thanks for your concern, but it’s a private matter.”
 
1.) It is nobody’s business why you choose not to receive Communion, including your mother. There are polite ways to say “MYOB” such as smiling at them as and saying, “Because I chose not to do so.” There’s also, “No thanks, I’m good right now” and just a grin or a blinking stare as if the question confuses you.
2.) That said, sooner you get your fanny to confession, the better. Look around at other local parishes. You do not have to confine your confession to your home parish.
 
Speaking as a friend, wife and a mother - I would NEVER ask a friend, my husband or my child why they were abstaining. That is NONE of my business, and I cannot imagine any catholic asking another cathooic such a question!
 
Well, we had something simular happen to us a few weeks ago.

My wife, in a wheel chair, were asked to not get in the communion line (more for our convenence) by the deacon, and that I was welcome to remain with her so as to receive the Lord with her. And after the last person had received they would come to us.

Anyway, one Sunday when they did come to us, I refused to receive and some nice people (4) behind us were not aware that I had refused & just thought the EMHC had skipped me and they were alarmed and ask me if that was the case. But when I told them that I had refused they never questioned me as to why.

And that’s the way it should be. It is nobodies business!
 
I’m glad everything went well…

but…

I would never, ever ask someone why they are not receiving, that just seems so personal and none of my business, I am really having a hard time believing that someone would literally ask this question of someone else…🤷
 
hamburglar said:
Okay, so I will not be receiving the Body and Blood this Sunday because I am in a state of mortal sin and I need to go to Confession. Now I am a freshman at a Roman Catholic college right now, so I go to the Mass here on campus on Sundays, and sometimes I ride the bus across town to go to the Tridentine Mass as well as the campus one. When I go to the Mass on campus, I sit with friends and other classmates. This has happened before, and people asked me why I didn’t receive the Eucharist. I told them that I didn’t feel worthy. If I tell them that I am in a state of mortal sin and have not gone to Confession, I fear that they may misunderstand that. Many people misunderstand mortal sin, and think that means when you do REALLY bad stuff such as killing somebody or committing rape.

What should I tell them when they ask why I am not receiving the Eucharist?
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Tell them that since you are in a state of Mortal Sin you cannot receive. You don’t have to elaborate. Of course, they may very well parrot the current popular belief that since the Eucharist is in and of itself salvific, go ahead and receive. I urge you not to do that though.

A question however, why not go to confession and then receive?
 
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