How to tell your parents you want to convert

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Brockman138

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I am 15 years old (about to be 16) raised in a Southern Baptist family in Central Kentucky.
I never was really devout but about a year ago I watched a TV special called Secret Access The Vatican which intrigued me. I had always been taught in history class that The Catholic Church was corrupt and evil (selling of Indulgences, Inquisition, Crusades, Bad Popes, Bible burning, ETC…) but in this show I saw a certain Holiness and Peacefulness of the church.
It inspired me to start research of Catholicism along the way I found other things that bothered me (Veneration of Mary, Confession, Child abuse scandals, Etc…) but after over the last year and more road bumps (looking at other religions to find the one true faith) I have finally determined that all the churches doctrines are true and it is the one true church of God so I am going to convert. The only problem is my family. My Mom is a high school history teacher and my Dad is a very devout man but very uneducated. Our preacher at our church is very uneducated and sometimes says very UN-catholic things and my dad believes everything the preacher says so he does not have a good view of the church and nether does my mom being a southern history teacher she was taught so she teaches the things I was taught about the church giving her a bad view of the church. I dont know what they would think they may not care or they may go ballistic so Im afraid to ask. I want to convert now because I believe I am being called to be an F.S.S.P. Priest and I want to start seminary right after high school. I don`t know what to do can anyone help me please?
 
Hi! Hopefully, they’ll be cool with your decision, or at least allow you to choose this path. If not, I guess I would suggest continuing to learn about Catholicism and when you are of age and no longer dependent on your parents for financial support, that you formally convert.

In the meantime, God bless you and good luck!
 
I agree with what Grasscutter says to you. I will be praying for you, as well as your family. Remember to pray for them, as they only want what they think is best for you. Your mother and father love you more than anyone, except Our Lord. Remember, like Grasscutter says, as long as you are a minor and live under your parents’ roof and eat from their table, you must be respectful of them. Jesus was obedient to his earthly parents, and expects that from you at this time. In the meantime, you might try discussing your feelings with your parents. Expect fireworks, but remain humble. Many a saint has been through what you are going through. Read the lives of the saints, and choose one or two to be your patrons and pray to them to reveal God’s plans for you. Do feel free and welcome to come to any of us here for advice, a shoulder to cry on, or prayer support.

God bless you and your family.
 
Before you tell them, ask them what they think of the Church. Then you’ll have a fair idea if they’ll be supportive or not. Either way, seek out a good Priest to help you! Perhaps you could schedule a meeting?
 
I will agree with some here. Please honor your parents until you are old enough to be on your own. In the mean time, learn what you can about the Church. The Church is not going anywhere, we will be here when you are ready.
 
While I know that you are maybe not getting the advice you’d like to hear, I do agree with the others that you need to honor your parents. That said, I think that the fact that your mother is well educated and a history teacher may work to your advantage.

As a history teacher your mom should recognize the value of good sources, research and reading things from different angles - especially history.
So if you begin to talk, ask questions get their feedback, offer up some things you’ve learned etc…she might be willing to talk with you and maybe even do a little exploring herself (probably to disprove the Church to you). If she does, then in all likelihood her opinion of the Church will soften.

Just an idea…

Peace
James
 
Pray and keep learning about the Church. 🙂
God bless you, I will be praying for you.
 
Talk to a Catholic priest.

I don’t see why being a minor should necessarily stop you from converting. Yes, we are supposed to honor our parents. But “he who loves father and mother more than me is not worthy of me.” (Mt. 10:37).

I heard an interview on The Journey Home with a woman from a Muslim family who wanted to convert to Catholicism and was actually locked up by her father in order to keep her from converting. She escaped and stayed at a monastery for a while and was eventually reconciled with her parents. That is an extreme example, but I think it’s fair to say she was not dishonoring her parents, rather, she was putting God first. (By the way, The Journey Home is a great program to listen to if you are wanting to convert from Protestantism. You can listen to old programs on the internet.)

That said, none of us are really equipped to advise you on this. You should really pray, and make contact with a priest. God bless.
 
Brockman138 said:
I am 15 years old (about to be 16) raised in a Southern Baptist family in Central Kentucky.
I never was really devout but about a year ago I watched a TV special called Secret Access The Vatican which intrigued me. I had always been taught in history class that The Catholic Church was corrupt and evil (selling of Indulgences, Inquisition, Crusades, Bad Popes, Bible burning, ETC…) but in this show I saw a certain Holiness and Peacefulness of the church.
It inspired me to start research of Catholicism along the way I found other things that bothered me (Veneration of Mary, Confession, Child abuse scandals, Etc…) but after over the last year and more road bumps (looking at other religions to find the one true faith) I have finally determined that all the churches doctrines are true and it is the one true church of God so I am going to convert. The only problem is my family. My Mom is a high school history teacher and my Dad is a very devout man but very uneducated. Our preacher at our church is very uneducated and sometimes says very UN-catholic things and my dad believes everything the preacher says so he does not have a good view of the church and nether does my mom being a southern history teacher she was taught so she teaches the things I was taught about the church giving her a bad view of the church. I dont know what they would think they may not care or they may go ballistic so Im afraid to ask. I want to convert now because I believe I am being called to be an F.S.S.P. Priest and I want to start seminary right after high school. I don`t know what to do can anyone help me please?
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From one teenager to another :cool: ,

Hey, what’s up? I know exactly what you’re going through except a different context.

I was full of sin in my life from 6th grade up until the end of my 8th grade year. I never wanted to go to Church or Mass, and i never was interested at all in anything. Then, it hit me. At this Youth Retreat i learned out who I really was and why I’m Catholic. 😃

(Here’s where my part seems to relate to you)

I felt awkward to ask my parents to go to confession or even talk to them about the Church. I was afraid they would yell at me for bothering them of their time or ask my what sins I’ve committed to want to go. The fact of the matter is, i prayed the Rosary. (Look it up and learn it!!! It helps sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!! 👍 ) The conclusion that God gave me was that my parents were going to love me no matter what! Honor them, but know that whatever you do in life, no matter how bad it is, they should and will always love you.

God Bless, and i’ll try to remember to pray for you!!! :gopray:

Bballer32
 
It was hard to tell my parents, and I was 33! Be respectful and kind, even when they are not. Ask more questions of them, sincerely. Establish where the Bible came from and why “Sola Scriptura”? Don’t be afraid to ask them about social issues, like abortion or homosexual marriage. If they are conservative, which it sounds like they are, that will help them to find “common ground” with the Catholic Church. At some point, you are going to approach the subject of the Catholic Church, don’t freak out. See what they say about it, recommend CAF. If they are OK with it, you may be converting sooner than you thought, but if they take issue with the Church, don’t take it personally. Be kind and respectful, but remember, the truth is always the truth.
 
Dear Brockman138

I had the exact same problem that you did when I told my parents that I wanted to convert to Catholicism. First and foremost you must remember that the Scriptures say to “honor thy father and thy mother”, so you should respect their rules and personal beliefs while you are under their roof, you can still pratice what you believe in secret (kind of like the parable of the pharisee and the tax collector) Second of all, you must remember that there are “bad apples in every bushel”, and the Catholic Church is no exception. There will always be hypocrites in the Church, just like there will always be good genuinely faithful people. The Church is defined by its righteous members, not by the hypocricy of its unfaithful members. Here is what St. John Chrysostom had to about the hypocricy of Church clergy…" The road to hell is paved with the skulls of corrupt priests." I don’t think I could have put it better myself.🙂 I will certianly keep you in my prayers, and hope that God will lead you down the path he has set for you. Hope This Helps.🙂

Sincerely… BListon
 
Bballer32 said:
The fact of the matter is, i prayed the Rosary. (Look it up and learn it!!! It helps sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!! 👍 )
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That’s really good advice, I have to second that. Do pray the rosary, if you aren’t already.

And however you tell your parents, just don’t do what I did and blurt it out angrily during a fight … “Oh yeah? Well I’m going to join the Catholic Church, so there!” :eek: :o (But guess what, despite my screw-ups, I did convert and my parents still love me and are more and more supportive of my faith, thanks be to God.)
 
Brockman138 said:
I am 15 years old (about to be 16) raised in a Southern Baptist family in Central Kentucky.
I never was really devout but about a year ago I watched a TV special called Secret Access The Vatican which intrigued me. I had always been taught in history class that The Catholic Church was corrupt and evil (selling of Indulgences, Inquisition, Crusades, Bad Popes, Bible burning, ETC…) but in this show I saw a certain Holiness and Peacefulness of the church.
It inspired me to start research of Catholicism along the way I found other things that bothered me (Veneration of Mary, Confession, Child abuse scandals, Etc…) but after over the last year and more road bumps (looking at other religions to find the one true faith) I have finally determined that all the churches doctrines are true and it is the one true church of God so I am going to convert. The only problem is my family. My Mom is a high school history teacher and my Dad is a very devout man but very uneducated. Our preacher at our church is very uneducated and sometimes says very UN-catholic things and my dad believes everything the preacher says so he does not have a good view of the church and nether does my mom being a southern history teacher she was taught so she teaches the things I was taught about the church giving her a bad view of the church. I dont know what they would think they may not care or they may go ballistic so Im afraid to ask. I want to convert now because I believe I am being called to be an F.S.S.P. Priest and I want to start seminary right after high school. I don`t know what to do can anyone help me please?
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Hi Brockman,

Welcome almost home! Take a look at this video. It is from Father Jose Maria Escriva (the founder of Opus Dei) who is answering a question from a Jewish girl who wants to convert to Catholicism but is afraid about what to tell and do about her parents. I think the advice applies directly to you as well. It is really a beautiful short video clip. Once you are an adult you can make up your own mind on how to procede. In the meantime watch this short video and continue to learn about the Church.

You might also want to check out the book Catholicism and Fundamentalism by Karl Keating at your library. It will help you answer a lot of misconceptions about Catholicism that your parents may try to bring up.

josemariaescriva.info/article/opus-dei-founder-escriva-chile-father-i-am-jewish
 
DJK100,

That video really nailed it. I especially love father’s consolation to the girl that she already has the “baptism of desire”. This should be a great comfort to the OP here.

As I was watching it, I was reminded of how Jesus, Son of God himself, was subject to his earthly parents until he was of age…and under them “grew in wisdom and knowledge”.

For the OP, this time of waiting - anticipating - can be a great learning experience. You will learn patience and forbearance and a deeper and more Christian Love - through suffering - by your need to be patient with your parents, and forbear the barbs of anti-Catholic rhetoric around you and Christian Love as you gently and lovingly try to correct the misconceptions you hear about the Church - and as you suffer those who rebuff your attempts to help them understand.

God Bless you on your journey.

Peace
James
 
JRKH said:
DJK100,

That video really nailed it. I especially love father’s consolation to the girl that she already has the “baptism of desire”. This should be a great comfort to the OP here.

As I was watching it, I was reminded of how Jesus, Son of God himself, was subject to his earthly parents until he was of age…and under them “grew in wisdom and knowledge”.
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Hi JRKH,

I really love that video I get chills everytime I watch it. For me, I can almost feel, the goodness radiating form Father Escriva as he is speaking. It is a really moving speech to me for some reason.
 
Hey Brockman138!

I am the other side of the coin from you - I converted to Catholicism, despite the objections of my extremely southern baptist family, when I was 13.

I’ll be honest, it wasn’t easy. My family wasn’t supportive, and I couldn’t drive. However, I have some tips for getting where you need to go.
  1. Pray. The PP who mentioned the rosary is SPOT ON. Pray the rosary. Pray for patience. Pray for the Holy Spirit to guide you. Live by church teachings as much as you can in your parents’ house.
  2. Talk. Ask your parents if you can sit down and have a discussion with them. Do not ‘order’, don’t ‘whine’ or ‘beg’ or ‘have a fit’. You need to comport yourself as an adult during this discussion. Explain to them that you do not feel that you are spiritually fed at the church your parents attend, and cite specific examples of things that you either don’t agree with (remember, be calm and charitable!), or make you uncomfortable. Use I statements, like ‘I feel like …’ or ‘I believe …’. This sounds less accusatory than, ‘X church doesn’t…’. Tell them that you want to find a church where you can grow closer to Christ, and ask them to support you in that. Tell them at the moment, you are feeling called to explore Catholicism, and ask them if they will allow you to do this with their love and support. If they say no, do not get upset. Remain calm, and listen to their objections. Tell them you will pray about those issues. Also mention that maybe they would be more comfortable bringing those concerns to a priest, as you feel (remember your I statements!) that it is uncharitable to speak ill of a church without having a more educated representative to there to defend it. If your parents still say no, thank them for listening to your concerns, and drop the subject. If they are willing to be supportive, then go slowly. This will be hard for them, if they are devout in their own church.
  3. Wait. I know this is hard, but if they will not be supportive of you joining the Church, wait until you are 18, and pray daily. Follow church teaching when you can. When you leave for college, choose to attend a college out of town, and tell them you still feel called to become Catholic. Go to RCIA.
The biggest thing is to remember to remain calm. Your parents will not take you seriously if you are having an emotional meltdown. At that point, they will see it as ‘teenage rebellion’ and discount anything you say.

If you need someone to talk to, feel free to IM/PM me. I’ll be praying for you.
 
Brockman138 said:
I am 15 years old (about to be 16) raised in a Southern Baptist family in Central Kentucky.
I never was really devout but about a year ago I watched a TV special called Secret Access The Vatican which intrigued me. I had always been taught in history class that The Catholic Church was corrupt and evil (selling of Indulgences, Inquisition, Crusades, Bad Popes, Bible burning, ETC…) but in this show I saw a certain Holiness and Peacefulness of the church.
It inspired me to start research of Catholicism along the way I found other things that bothered me (Veneration of Mary, Confession, Child abuse scandals, Etc…) but after over the last year and more road bumps (looking at other religions to find the one true faith) I have finally determined that all the churches doctrines are true and it is the one true church of God so I am going to convert. The only problem is my family. My Mom is a high school history teacher and my Dad is a very devout man but very uneducated. Our preacher at our church is very uneducated and sometimes says very UN-catholic things and my dad believes everything the preacher says so he does not have a good view of the church and nether does my mom being a southern history teacher she was taught so she teaches the things I was taught about the church giving her a bad view of the church. I dont know what they would think they may not care or they may go ballistic so Im afraid to ask. I want to convert now because I believe I am being called to be an F.S.S.P. Priest and I want to start seminary right after high school. I don`t know what to do can anyone help me please?
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I’d say study a few more months… especially some good apologetics like these books:
By What Authority? Mark Shea
Born Fundamentalist, Born Again Catholic, by David Currie.

… maybe leave some of your books lying around… so your parents get warned:) And then tell them,
Don’t wait too long.
You might also get into an RCIA program near you soon. I say that because I wasn’t very well taught before I entered the Church, and that caused me some trouble later on. So be sure you really learn about many things and many areas… not just about the Sacraments and history but also about the Church’s views on purgatory, Mary and the saints, sexuality, Church authority …

God Bless you 🙂
 
grasscutter said:
Hi! Hopefully, they’ll be cool with your decision, or at least allow you to choose this path. If not, I guess I would suggest continuing to learn about Catholicism and when you are of age and no longer dependent on your parents for financial support, that you formally convert.

In the meantime, God bless you and good luck!
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Yes, I agree with this.

But please know that the things you mentioned hearing being taught about the Church’s history - corruption, inquisitions, etc. - as you indicated you already realize, are really not true! I know a lot about this 😉

You could become Catholic secretly in your heart and your prayer life, even if you have to wait until you are out of your parents’ home to formally enter the Church. God bless you! This is wonderful, and I will keep you in my prayers. You are courageous and blessed!
 
Peggy_in_Burien said:
I agree with what Grasscutter says to you. I will be praying for you, as well as your family. Remember to pray for them, as they only want what they think is best for you. Your mother and father love you more than anyone, except Our Lord. Remember, like Grasscutter says, as long as you are a minor and live under your parents’ roof and eat from their table, you must be respectful of them. Jesus was obedient to his earthly parents, and expects that from you at this time. In the meantime, you might try discussing your feelings with your parents. Expect fireworks, but remain humble. Many a saint has been through what you are going through. Read the lives of the saints, and choose one or two to be your patrons and pray to them to reveal God’s plans for you. Do feel free and welcome to come to any of us here for advice, a shoulder to cry on, or prayer support.

God bless you and your family.
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This is very good advice.

In my case, my parents were not anti-Catholic, but they (and I too, before I began to explore) had many misconceptions of what the Catholic Church taught. I encourage you, if you don’t already have it (and you probably do :p), to get the Catechism of the Catholic Church, or the “cliff-notes” version, the Compendium. I found both of them used and inexpensive. Study, especially the topics you believe your parents may need most to understand. When I could base my conversation on an authoritative source of Catholic teaching to gently correct false perceptions, I think that my parents were more open. (My mother says that she is amazed; she had no idea how little she knew about Catholicism, or church history in general. I still don’t know much about how my dad feels because we don’t often talk deeply, but he at least accepts my choice.)
 
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