How to welcome people in irregular unions to the Church

  • Thread starter Thread starter Mtdobbs
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
M

Mtdobbs

Guest
More of a brainstorming thing here. Amoris Laetitia opened up a sore spot with some people, but the truth of the matter is there a lot of people living in irregular situations who do not feel welcome at Church. There are many Catholics and Catholic websites that vilify and condemn these people. How do we respond as the hands and feet of Christ ?
 
But first they need to feel there’s a reason to, that the Church is a place they want to come home to.
 
I think the first step is to welcome people. You’re not going to be able to do anything if they can’t even get inside the door. A note in the bulletin or on the parish website would let people know that they’re not going to be condemned for their mistakes.

There should be someone in the parish they can talk with about their issues and how to resolve them. That person may be the pastor, it may be an advocate of some kind. Ultimately the goal will be to help them bring their marriage into the Church.

It might be helpful if a parish (or region or diocese) had some sort of support group, whether that’s an actual group that meets or an individual who can be there to support people as they deal with the tribunal. The best person might be someone who has been through the process and can be very sympathetic.
 
We need to love them. If we love them, we are going to tell them (out of charity) that they must fix their state ASAP in order to get back into the Church.
 
We act just like Christ. Love them, forgive them, and tell them to go and sin no more.
 
Since they can’t have the Eucharist, we can give them coffee and donuts after Mass.
 
I’ve yet to see a parish with a “no sinners allowed” or “we don’t admit people in irregular marriages” sign.
 
How to welcome people back? Tell them the truth lovingly and with sincerity. Anything else will either be lying or pandering.
 
I agree that there should be an active ministry dedicated to such a thing!
 
There’s a scripture that says “ a hurt brother is like a fortified city” I take this to mean a person who feels wounded and hurt by us is hard to reach. Jesus always showed love before he instructed to them what to do. Love has to be the precursor to truth. It is the catalyst.
 
That is why a loving truthful response is needed.

You don’t just say, “Well, you messed up big time, idiot.”

You say, “I’m so sorry about what has happened. Let’s try to fix everything.”
 
IDK…this weekends lesson was about making sure your daughter finds a Catholic boyfriend…he’ll respect her, don’t let her date this “others” they think she’s only there for their personal needs and enjoyment. That totally totally wasn’t awkward for us. 🙂

I definitely think that some parishes really don’t welcome all who aren’t Catholic are married to a Catholic or the couple as a whole. We’ve had our issues there before, I think this may have been the last straw.
 
Mtdobbs said:
but the truth of the matter is there a lot of people living in irregular situations who do not feel welcome at Church.
Click to expand...
I know this isn’t every case, but I would think many feel this way because the people know what the Church teaches. If they don’t feel welcome it could be because they, rightly, perceive they are living a life contrary to Church teaching. And their ability to participate is limited. It isn’t limited by some arbitrary rule but by their active choice to remain in a lifestyle contrary to Church teaching.

I say that because the welcome some people want is for the Church to abandon her rules. We can’t accommodate that of course.

I don’t know what all you can do other than be a loving witness to the truth and help guide these people to repentance or in regularizing any irregularity.
 
semper_catholicus said:
If we love them, we are going to tell them (out of charity) that they must fix their state ASAP in order to get back into the Church.
Click to expand...
First we have to meet them where they are, and show them Christ’s love in a way they can feel and understand. Then they will become more open to dealing with the issues.
Starting out right away with the finger wagging in their faces will only drive them away.
 
A Catholic must be uncrompising in the Faith since Our goal is to help people get to Heaven

Sometimes Tough love is required
 
I’m going to have to agree and disagree with you.

As a person who lived in an irregular situation for years, I can tell you I have felt many different things. Never once have i wanted the truth watered down or for the Church to abandon her teachings. I don’t think that helps anybody. But there a very vocal group that says they are part of the Catholic church that if you were in an irregular union and you stumbled onto one of a few dozen websites or blogs, which purport to be Catholic, you would feel that you were kicked out of the Church by your state in life. You would be shamed, maligned, called terrible things. I know this doesn’t happen at church, but I have seen 2 SSA men walk into a very orthodox church and get stared at and the gasps were audible. These 2 poor men walked out. I heard people in front of me and behind me whispering about them. I have talked to people who have experienced similar things or who have witnessed similar things.

You cant show people the truth if you don’t get their attention first. These people are drowning in sin and instead of sending in a lifeguard, were yelling at the what to do. We throw them a life preserver maybe but are too scared to get involved in their lives. Christ feared nobody, in any situation they were in, and He went right into their lives to show them the truth. He couldn’t just tell them the truth hoping that they would hear Him. He rescued them or showed such concrete acts of love… In so many instances, only after a broken person experiences this kind of love, can they be truly receptive the to the truth were speaking.
 
Did Jesus meet the woman in adultery where she was? I’m pretty sure He did. I’m pretty sure he went right to her side and defended her against the crowd. He showed such an act of love for her. Once she experienced this act of love from a stranger (who was God), he then instructed her on what to do.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top