Would you also say the symptoms were faked if they were described in detail as the side effects of 4 different medications, documented as occurring by his previous teachers for the past 7 years in each of his IEPs, measured in no less than 46 EEGs and part of the diagnostic write up by neurologist at three different hospitals.
ooohhh, this is turning ugly, I thought…but her next words floored me, “I know my son doesn’t always tell the truth and I want him to apologise to the teacher.” - Well, I fetched the teacher in a big hurry and he gladly came along.After more years as a teacher than I care to count, I disagree on this one. Moms may initially go into the protective mode when they feel their child is under attack, but when you present your reasons for a particular action they are more likely to listen and seriously consider what you’re saying.
Moms jump to defense before listening to all of what is being said, most times; however, if a dad does not agree with what you’re telling him, the chance of him listening to what you’re telling him is very small.
IME, it’s the opposite. Kids bring out their very worst behavior at home, where they can trust that they won’t be kicked out (at least that is what the shrinks all say!) and behave well in arenas where they may have unknown consequences.Haha I am that parent!! I have said that numerous times about my youngest. But teachers all insist that she is well behaved, respectful and a joy to have in class. (still don’t believe 'em) I think you are right that kids react differently in different environments and so if you only see a kid interacting in a particular environment, you may not get the whole picture.
Perhaps my SIL’s child is great at home, but just moody and sour at school and most family functions. It is possible
I dunno about that.
what’s up???
Bingo! No one wants to feel like a failure as a parent
funny you say that b/c when my dd’s teacher told us what a dream she is and how smart and creative she is, I said, “At home, she talks back all the time.”
I have one dad that absolutely refuses to believe that his children are gifted. It’s quite bizarre in my opinion. He has two boys and a girl and the older two are both gifted with intelligence and creativity. Dad won’t hear it though. He argues that our school has very low standards if we think his kids are exceptional. He rolls his eyes when I describe his oldest son’s accomplishments in music class. Sometime I wish I could show the man the other students’ report cards because he’s convinced that music class is an “easy A” and everyone gets all perfect marks in music class. Now he’s mad at me though. (He hasn’t said so in person but I’ve heard about through the grapevine.) His youngest is in kindergarten and while he is very sweet and well-behaved, he’s quite average in his musical skills. His dad thinks I don’t like him and am picking on him, since he doesn’t get the obligatory perfect marks that his older siblings get.Haha I am that parent!! I have said that numerous times about my youngest. But teachers all insist that she is well behaved, respectful and a joy to have in class. (still don’t believe 'em
Perhaps my SIL’s child is great at home, but just moody and sour at school and most family functions. It is possible
That’s the most charitable response I could muster up to a post on a Catholic message board where someone is proclaiming that they know their wife’s sister’s kid is “rude, snotty and in general an unpleasant person” and that they know this better than the child’s own mother who would disagree. All the while proclaiming that they are objective when it comes to how they perceive their own children…what’s up???
. Especially a child that you don’t even live with to know so personally.If I suspected that a student was taking advantage of his diagnosis at times when the symptoms weren’t actually bothing him, I would try to find a way to encourage him to do what I wanted him to do without arguing him. For example, “Oh…you need to see the nurse right now? That’s too bad. I was hoping you could play the (insert kids favorite instrument) on the next turn.” Was the teacher in question arguing that your son did not really suffer from epilepsy, or was she claiming that he was taking advantage by exagerating the symptoms he was experiencing at times? In my opinion, rather than arguing about whether the symptoms are “that bad” at any given time, it would be a better use of time to try and figure out how to engage the student better. Keep in mind that alot of the time, students don’t even realize that their broken arm only seems to be excrutiatingly painful during a math lesson and never during their favorite story. It’s not generally done intentionally. When they are bored or unengaged, their mind has more energy to focus on their discomfort and they suddenly remember that they have a sore throat, foot, papercut, mosquito bite, etc.
That’s why I said, I don’t know.
Actually, that door swings both ways pretty evenly. There are lots of kids who are percieved to be better behaved at home, due to the simple fact that there is signifigantly less expected of them at home. What do most six year old have to do at home? Make their bed? Pick up their toys? Be quieter when mom is on the phone? Beyond that, they’re usually free to do whatever they like as long as they aren’t bothering anyone else. Compare that to a first grade classroom where kids are expected to remain seated and focus on a specific task until it is done. (Whether they want to do it or not.) Once it is done, they are given another task. Lots of kids struggle with this sort of environment and act out in frustration.
So what I hear you say is that you don’t believe that mothers can be oblivious to how their children act and behave? … That a child’s own mother is unlikely to deceive herself to some degree as to the true nature of their child? That is a perfectly valid opinion. It does seem that you are in the minority here as others have expressed the opinion that parents often blindly defend their children or seem to ignore the reality of their children’s behavior.
I will assume that you didn’t read my post, so I will go ahead and quote directly from it so that there is no confusion here.
While I completely agree, that having a personal bias can affect how we view someone; I fail to see how that is relevent here. Are you suggesting that I have a personal bias against children and so that is influencing my perception? Honestly, I cannot possibly believe you have any basis for making such a claim and I find it quite uncharitable. Perhpas I misunderstand your point. Can you clarify–to what personal bias are you referring and what in my op would lead you to that conclusion?
Well, I don’t imagine they would either; and I am certain to fall short of that standard. But I would think if you judge me by that standard, then perhaps you should be measured by the same? Would someone like JPII, any saint, or Jesus make the uncharitable assumptions you have and taken your general sour tone?
My mama used to say…if you don’t have anything nice to say…
Wow… again I can relate to this.
I have been blessed with kids that are relatively academically successful. With one small exception, they cruise through with As without breaking a sweat. Like the dad you talked about, I don’t believe this is any big deal…I often tell my wife that everyone makes As in gradeshool and middle school (partly b/c I coasted through as well) and that it isn’t that big of a deal. She assures me this not the case and that they really are sharp.ouch.
Those parents don’t need to offer any explanation for their kids’ behavior, but for some reason must feel like they do.