How would being raised by a homosexual couple be bad for an adopted child?

[BornInMarch]

Someone on this forum once said that being raised by a heterosexual couple was what is best for a child in need of adopting.

But what is wrong with a homosexual couple raising a child? Explain in detail how it can be deleterious to the childs well being.

 

[Regina7]

Someone on this forum once said that being raised by a heterosexual couple was what is best for a child in need of adopting.

But what is wrong with a homosexual couple raising a child? Explain in detail how it can be deleterious to the childs well being.

Detail isn’t needed. Putting a child with a homosexual couple is purposely denying that child either a mother or father. You need both a man and a woman to make a child, and the ideal is that a man and a woman then raise that child.

 

[pianistclare]

The same way in which living with adulterous parents would be detrimental.
If they’re sinning, it’s detrimental.
Of course, if you operate under the notion that it’s NOT a sin to be engaged in an adulterous relationship, I can see why one would not think it was all that bad.
But the Catholic teaches that it is bad for anyone not in a heterosexual sacramental marriage.
Children should be raised in the best possible scenario. Sometimes that is not possible: dad left, or mom left, mom critically ill, dad unemployed, etc.
But when you enter into a situation on purpose, knowing that it is wrong, it can’t be good for the children. Being a parent includes teaching by example and doing right.
Homosexuals may deeply love children, and may try their hardest to provide a good home. But the fact remains, it’s not a good environment, spiritually.
It’s hard for some to accept. Many reject it.
We pray for people who struggle with SSA and have a natural desire for a family.

 

[JohnGerard]

Someone on this forum once said that being raised by a heterosexual couple was what is best for a child in need of adopting.

But what is wrong with a homosexual couple raising a child? Explain in detail how it can be deleterious to the childs well being.

I agree with Regina7.

All human beings are created by a mother and a father and really should be raised by a mother and father. I think I’ve heard some people say that the child has a right to that (or should.) Mothers bring different elements to a family than fathers do and vice versa.

If a heterosexual couple adopts a child, the child has both a mother and father (even if they are not biological) and all the aspects that each brings to the family.

If a homosexual couple adopts a child, the child is denied their right to be raised by both a mother and a father. They are denied either the aspects that a mother brings to a family, or the aspects that a father does. Even if they are deeply loved…they are still denied those things.

 

[SecretCatholic]

Someone on this forum once said that being raised by a heterosexual couple was what is best for a child in need of adopting.

But what is wrong with a homosexual couple raising a child? Explain in detail how it can be deleterious to the childs well being.

There are plenty of details- look for studies pointing out the difficulties such children face, etc… But the main issue for us is on principle, not details. Asking “What is wrong with a homosexual couple raising a child?” is akin to asking “What is wrong with an adulterous couple raising a child?” You can also substitute the sin here with any number of other ones, like: alcoholic, violent, incestuous, etc.

The point is that homosexual behavior is an affront to natural law, to healthy human society and to God. In addition to this, it is scandalous, because it is always visible to the community. An adulterous couple, although steeped in sin, may not be so scandalous to the community, because their sin may be committed behind closed doors. It may also not be as visible to the children (though it will still affect them to some degree). But a homosexual couple is continually visible to the community. Instead of hiding the sin, such a disordered public union essentially rejects its own sinfulness, and calls good what is frankly evil.

Now if you are posing the question of whether it is better for a child to be raised by a homosexual couple than being brought up in the foster care system- I would say, it depends, on a case-by-case basis. Considering the infamy of the foster care system, a child may indeed be better off being raised by a homosexual couple. But we could also say that they might be better off being raised by two straight guys too, or by a single women. None of these are ideal, but they might be better than a worse situation.

The point is practically moot, however, considering that there are very FEW homosexual couples in the world, and there are more than enough heterosexual couples that can and should adopt children. Although it is practically moot, however it is ideologically very important, because this goes on to further normalize homosexuality and trivialize the authentic family, which is why you see so many fighting for it.

I write this in love and clarity. I hope it was of help!

 

[Trident_H]

I think there’s a reason that this isn’t a good idea. I think it’s one thing for two guys to be confident together that they’re normal. It’s another thing to then convince a child the same thing. I mean you’ve now got this kid with two dads who bring her up telling her that its normal, but she has no mother who will really help her understand what it’s like to be a woman. And I mean you’ve got a lot of issues that are going to come along from that just like you might if you have only a single parent. Or if the kid is getting raised by wolves. Or something. I don’t know. It’s just not right to experiment with a kid. Because we don’t know if they really will grow up normal or not. So why are we just guessing and not being worried about it? Or maybe it doesn’t matter because no family is really ideal. There’s always some problem. I don’t know.

Peace.

-Trident

 

[jmcrae]

Someone on this forum once said that being raised by a heterosexual couple was what is best for a child in need of adopting.

But what is wrong with a homosexual couple raising a child? Explain in detail how it can be deleterious to the childs well being.

Let’s hear it in their own words. These are articles written about and by children who were raised in homosexual households.

cnsnews.com/news/article/lauretta-brown/adults-raised-gay-couples-speak-out-against-gay-marriage-federal-court

worldmag.com/2015/03/the_kids_are_not_all_right

thepublicdiscourse.com/2012/08/6065/ ← This one is about a boy raised by lesbians; he mentions that growing up without a father meant that he never learned any of the male social cues, and his career and social life suffer because of his lack of ability to communicate non-verbally.

washingtontimes.com/news/2015/jan/8/gay-couples-children-oppose-same-sex-marriage-tell/?page=all

 

[BornInMarch]

Let’s hear it in their own words. These are articles written about and by children who were raised in homosexual households.

cnsnews.com/news/article/lauretta-brown/adults-raised-gay-couples-speak-out-against-gay-marriage-federal-court

worldmag.com/2015/03/the_kids_are_not_all_right

thepublicdiscourse.com/2012/08/6065/ ← This one is about a boy raised by lesbians; he mentions that growing up without a father meant that he never learned any of the male social cues, and his career and social life suffer because of his lack of ability to communicate non-verbally.

washingtontimes.com/news/2015/jan/8/gay-couples-children-oppose-same-sex-marriage-tell/?page=all

You’re the first person on this thread to give a specific argument. And better yet, you backed it up with sources.

 

[jmcrae]

You’re the first person on this thread to give a specific argument. And better yet, you backed it up with sources.

You’re welcome.

 

[ellam25]

Detail isn’t needed. Putting a child with a homosexual couple is purposely denying that child either a mother or father. You need both a man and a woman to make a child, and the ideal is that a man and a woman then raise that child.

This is the only answer you’ll ever need.

 

[Murmurs]

Detail isn’t needed. Putting a child with a homosexual couple is purposely denying that child either a mother or father. You need both a man and a woman to make a child, and the ideal is that a man and a woman then raise that child.

Exactly.

I think to address the OP it’s worth pointing out that no one is saying (I hope!) that a homosexual couple are automatically bad parents, or at any rate “worse” than a heterosexual couple (married or otherwise). Plenty of straight parents are terrible parents and plenty of homosexual parents adopted children can be wonderful parents. Some have pointed out that there are potentially welbeing issues (learning social cues has been mentioned), but it’s not like there aren’t socially-maladapted straight parents too.

The point is, that it is an ideal that a man and woman (ideally again, married, but an unmarried couple aren’t automatically worse parents by dint of being unmarried) raise children, because this gives the best diversity of parental experience. It might be because of ingrained social traditions rather than innate differences, but men and women do tend to do things or think about things differently; and railing about how this differentiation is unfair or even a little bit sexist doesn’t change the fact that this is how (for better or worse), society operates.

Gay couples can be wonderful parents, and certainly don’t pose any greater risk of harm to a child than anyone else, but they perhaps do not represent the best ordering of a family, and this is something we should also consider.

(That said, plenty of people would not say this is a reason to ban gay couples from adopting children, especially given the number of children who need a home)

 

[Kal2012]

Let’s hear it in their own words. These are articles written about and by children who were raised in homosexual households.

cnsnews.com/news/article/lauretta-brown/adults-raised-gay-couples-speak-out-against-gay-marriage-federal-court

worldmag.com/2015/03/the_kids_are_not_all_right

thepublicdiscourse.com/2012/08/6065/ ← This one is about a boy raised by lesbians; he mentions that growing up without a father meant that he never learned any of the male social cues, and his career and social life suffer because of his lack of ability to communicate non-verbally.

washingtontimes.com/news/2015/jan/8/gay-couples-children-oppose-same-sex-marriage-tell/?page=all

Yep - I was going to say read their own words. It’s not hard to find information on Google these days.

In a lot of cases, it screws the kids up. Not good.

 

[edwest2]

“As experience has shown, the absence of sexual complementarity in these unions creates obstacles in the normal development of children who would be placed in the care of such persons. They would be deprived of the experience of either fatherhood or motherhood. Allowing children to be adopted by persons living in such unions would actually mean doing violence to these children, in the sense that their condition of dependency would be used to place them in an environment that is not conducive to their full human development. This is gravely immoral and in open contradiction to the principle, recognized also in the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, that the best interests of the child, as the weaker and more vulnerable party, are to be the paramount consideration in every case.”

Source: vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_20030731_homosexual-unions_en.html

Ed

 

[edwest2]

Yep - I was going to say read their own words. It’s not hard to find information on Google these days.

In a lot of cases, it screws the kids up. Not good.

Yes. Here’s one more.

thefederalist.com/2015/03/17/dear-gay-community-your-kids-are-hurting/

Ed

 

[Robert_Sock]

People tend to view it as all or nothing. Surely there exists gay couples who are able to be good parents. If being gay places a child at risk psychologically, imagine the harm growing up with a single mom or dad. I would not entirely blame gays for the decline of the family more than single-parent households.

Not that I believe homosexuality is not a psychological disorder, but that we’re all in this boat together and there are plenty of married couples who are just as disordered, but in a different way.

 

[jmcrae]

People tend to view it as all or nothing. Surely there exists gay couples who are able to be good parents. If being gay places a child at risk psychologically, imagine the harm growing up with a single mom or dad. I would not entirely blame gays for the decline of the family more than single-parent households.

Not that I believe homosexuality is not a psychological disorder, but that we’re all in this boat together and there are plenty of married couples who are just as disordered, but in a different way.

Single parent families understand that theirs is a bad situation, and the parent typically takes action to ensure that their children have an “auntie” or an “uncle” to make up for the deficit.

When you begin with the assumption that you’re in an ideal situation, it doesn’t occur to you that any remedial action might be necessary.

 

[edwest2]

People tend to view it as all or nothing. Surely there exists gay couples who are able to be good parents. If being gay places a child at risk psychologically, imagine the harm growing up with a single mom or dad. I would not entirely blame gays for the decline of the family more than single-parent households.

Not that I believe homosexuality is not a psychological disorder, but that we’re all in this boat together and there are plenty of married couples who are just as disordered, but in a different way.

I don’t think anyone is blaming gay persons for the decline of heterosexual families. The topic is about homosexual couples. Saying some heterosexual married people are disordered does not apply here. The possible harm of growing up with a single non-homosexual mom or dad also does not apply.

Ed

Ed

 

[Robert_Sock]

I don’t think anyone is blaming gay persons for the decline of heterosexual families. The topic is about homosexual couples. Saying some heterosexual married people are disordered does not apply here. The possible harm of growing up with a single non-homosexual mom or dad also does not apply.

Ed

Ed

My intention was to warn the reader not to be too judgmental. Being gay does not preclude a person to make a bad parent. If your intention is child welfare (as opposed to stereotyping gays), you must compare it to the different parenting types within our society. Try not to become black and white here. There are plenty of gays who would make good parents.

 

[edwest2]

My intention was to warn the reader not to be too judgmental. Being gay does not preclude a person to make a bad parent. If your intention is child welfare (as opposed to stereotyping gays), you must compare it to the different parenting types within our society. Try not to become black and white here. There are plenty of gays who would make good parents.

It’s not about me being black and white, which I am on many issues, but the Church has made the issue clear. With due respect, how do you know if any couple would make good or bad parents?

“As experience has shown, the absence of sexual complementarity in these unions creates obstacles in the normal development of children who would be placed in the care of such persons. They would be deprived of the experience of either fatherhood or motherhood. Allowing children to be adopted by persons living in such unions would actually mean doing violence to these children, in the sense that their condition of dependency would be used to place them in an environment that is not conducive to their full human development. This is gravely immoral and in open contradiction to the principle, recognized also in the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, that the best interests of the child, as the weaker and more vulnerable party, are to be the paramount consideration in every case.”

Source: vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_20030731_homosexual-unions_en.html

That’s what the Church tells us.

Ed

 

[Robert_Sock]

It’s not about me being black and white, which I am on many issues, but the Church has made the issue clear. With due respect, how do you know if any couple would make good or bad parents?

“As experience has shown, the absence of sexual complementarity in these unions creates obstacles in the normal development of children who would be placed in the care of such persons. They would be deprived of the experience of either fatherhood or motherhood. Allowing children to be adopted by persons living in such unions would actually mean doing violence to these children, in the sense that their condition of dependency would be used to place them in an environment that is not conducive to their full human development. This is gravely immoral and in open contradiction to the principle, recognized also in the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, that the best interests of the child, as the weaker and more vulnerable party, are to be the paramount consideration in every case.”

Source: vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_20030731_homosexual-unions_en.html

That’s what the Church tells us.

Ed

“As experience has shown…” I’m really not an “academic” anymore, but the source should be cited.

Having spent several years studying parenting style and negative child outcome, the parents of the most maladjusted children were either authoritarian or apathetic. Empathy provided us with positive outcomes. What type of parenting style would you say gays have? I would predict gays to be relatively empathetic, which causes me to think that many would make good parents.