How would being raised by a homosexual couple be bad for an adopted child?

[Rosebud77]

“As experience has shown…” I’m really not an “academic” anymore, but the source should be cited.

Having spent several years studying parenting style and negative child outcome, the parents of the most maladjusted children were either authoritarian or apathetic. Empathy provided us with positive outcomes. What type of parenting style would you say gays have? I would predict gays to be relatively empathetic, which causes me to think that many would make good parents.

You base your idea of good parenthood on “empathy” alone? Something very missing and remiss here. So children are not affected by example re lifestyle etc? And not confused in any way by having 2 moms or 2 dads? I grew up with an errant uncaring absent father figure and it certainly had a bad effect on me in many ways. Made adult relationships with men hard. We all need that balance, mother and father. And we all need to see morality lived fully also. In that sense t is black and white. Not time to read the references and examples but my own long ago childhood was lacking the male influence and example.

 

[on_the_hill]

Single parent families understand that theirs is a bad situation, and the parent typically takes action to ensure that their children have an “auntie” or an “uncle” to make up for the deficit.

When you begin with the assumption that you’re in an ideal situation, it doesn’t occur to you that any remedial action might be necessary.

I’m not all that familiar with single parent families, but do the single parents ensure that there’s an auntie or uncle? It would make sense, it would be nice. Does it really happy typically?

And how do you/we know that a gay couple doesn’t find an uncle or auntie, as the case may be?

Personally, I’m from the “it takes a village” school of thought. The more the merrier.

 

[Regina7]

I’m not all that familiar with single parent families, but do the single parents ensure that there’s an auntie or uncle? It would make sense, it would be nice. Does it really happy typically?

And how do you/we know that a gay couple doesn’t find an uncle or auntie, as the case may be?

Personally, I’m from the “it takes a village” school of thought. The more the merrier.

I’d think that it doesn’t typically happen. I keep hearing “All families are equal and good.” We here at CAF may discuss the issues with all families not comtaining a present mom and dad, but you don’t hear this discussion in the secular world too much.

 

[edwest2]

I’d think that it doesn’t typically happen. I keep hearing “All families are equal and good.” We here at CAF may discuss the issues with all families not comtaining a present mom and dad, but you don’t hear this discussion in the secular world too much.

The secular news likes the idea that there are more families without fathers. Some people are not good parents for a number of reasons. It can’t be all are ‘equal and good.’

Ed

 

[Regina7]

The secular news likes the idea that there are more families without fathers. Some people are not good parents for a number of reasons. It can’t be all are ‘equal and good.’

Ed

Exactly. I heard that 1 in 3 American kids grow up without a dad. That’s truly tragic.

 

[estesbob]

Here’s what the Church says:

*Homosexual unions are also totally lacking in the conjugal dimension, which represents the human and ordered form of sexuality. Sexual relations are human when and insofar as they express and promote the mutual assistance of the sexes in marriage and are open to the transmission of new life.

As experience has shown, the absence of sexual complementarity in these unions creates obstacles in the normal development of children who would be placed in the care of such persons. They would be deprived of the experience of either fatherhood or motherhood. Allowing children to be adopted by persons living in such unions would actually mean doing violence to these children, in the sense that their condition of dependency would be used to place them in an environment that is not conducive to their full human development. This is gravely immoral and in open contradiction to the principle, recognized also in the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, that the best interests of the child, as the weaker and more vulnerable party, are to be the paramount consideration in every case.*

vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_20030731_homosexual-unions_en.html

 

[Trident_H]

You base your idea of good parenthood on “empathy” alone? Something very missing and remiss here. So children are not affected by example re lifestyle etc? And not confused in any way by having 2 moms or 2 dads? I grew up with an errant uncaring absent father figure and it certainly had a bad effect on me in many ways. Made adult relationships with men hard. We all need that balance, mother and father. And we all need to see morality lived fully also. In that sense t is black and white. Not time to read the references and examples but my own long ago childhood was lacking the male influence and example.

I also grew up with an father who was almost never around (he was just a work-a-holic). And that’s why I’ve never been a fan of gay marriage and especially never thought it a good idea for gays to adopt children. I just know that I never felt like other kids who did stuff with their dad or even knew how to talk to him. And my mom was so strict that talking to her about anything outside the rules was a big mistake. So yeah. I also didn’t know how to handle men. Or women.

I guess I’m just not a fan of anything that puts kids in weird situations. Just because someone else wants that. For themselves. If gays really have so much empathy and love for kids they should be the first to step forward and say they don’t want to risk messing kids up.

So maybe that’s why I’m doing the stepping up then. I guess.

Peace.

-Trident

 

[on_the_hill]

I just know that I never felt like other kids who did stuff with their dad or even knew how to talk to him.

I had quite an opposite experience. I grew up in the 1970s in an area where it seemed we had quite a few single parent families. Single parent families had such an impact on me that I assumed it was the norm–I inflated the frequency of single parent families in my own mind.

I had both parents, and there were times when I felt a little guilty about it, and downplayed having a mom and dad so that I wouldn’t hurt anyone’s feelings.

 

[Trident_H]

I had quite an opposite experience. I grew up in the 1970s in an area where it seemed we had quite a few single parent families. Single parent families had such an impact on me that I assumed it was the norm–I inflated the frequency of single parent families in my own mind.

I had both parents, and there were times when I felt a little guilty about it, and downplayed having a mom and dad so that I wouldn’t hurt anyone’s feelings.

That’s so sweet. I’d like to give you a hug! But I mean it would be a manly hug. And I mean it wouldn’t be, well, I mean I wouldn’t want, ah, I guess the truth is I, I wouldn’t want you to get the, um, to get the wrong idea.

Well maybe it’d be better if I just gave you a high-five?

Peace man.

-Trident

 

[on_the_hill]

That’s so sweet. I’d like to give you a hug! But I mean it would be a manly hug. And I mean it wouldn’t be, well, I mean I wouldn’t want, ah, I guess the truth is I, I wouldn’t want you to get the, um, to get the wrong idea.

Well maybe it’d be better if I just gave you a high-five?

Peace man.

-Trident

Could do this, :aok:, this :tiphat:, this :clapping: or this

 

[Theo520]

Someone on this forum once said that being raised by a heterosexual couple was what is best for a child in need of adopting.

But what is wrong with a homosexual couple raising a child? Explain in detail how it can be deleterious to the childs well being.

It sounds like you are saying - How can it be so bad for a child to grow up with an amputated leg?

Yes, having an amputation is better than dying. The amputee can grow up and live a fulfilling life, but why cut off the leg when you don’t have to? We have plenty of capable and stable man/woman couples that will make good parents.

 

[1990Domer]

I’m not all that familiar with single parent families, but do the single parents ensure that there’s an auntie or uncle? It would make sense, it would be nice. Does it really happy typically?

And how do you/we know that a gay couple doesn’t find an uncle or auntie, as the case may be?

Personally, I’m from the “it takes a village” school of thought. The more the merrier.

Often, grandparents and aunts/uncles or Godparents serve that role. From personal experience, I see SSA attracted people as rather arrogant and standoffish. Now, this is from a very close relative who did a 180 once he fully embraced his lifestyle. Seeing him for 20 years, his personality has gotten more belligerent and self-centered over time. Humble is not in his dictionary.

 

[1990Domer]

Someone on this forum once said that being raised by a heterosexual couple was what is best for a child in need of adopting.

But what is wrong with a homosexual couple raising a child? Explain in detail how it can be deleterious to the childs well being.

Natural law is designed for children to be raised by a mother and a father. This is what has defined families for thousands of years. Both men and women bring a different skill set to the family. These skill sets are intrinsic to maleness and femaleness. No, I am not talking about gender roles. I am talking about how children relate to each parent differently. This is something that I believe is intrinsic and cannot be taught.

Also, the traditional family models the Holy Family, which really should be the model for all families.

 

[on_the_hill]

Seeing him for 20 years, his personality has gotten more belligerent and self-centered over time. Humble is not in his dictionary.

Sounds like my brother. But he’s straight.

 

[bitterhope]

Often, grandparents and aunts/uncles or Godparents serve that role. From personal experience, I see SSA attracted people as rather arrogant and standoffish. Now, this is from a very close relative who did a 180 once he fully embraced his lifestyle. Seeing him for 20 years, his personality has gotten more belligerent and self-centered over time. Humble is not in his dictionary.

There could be many reasons for this that have nothing to do with being gay. I have family, neighbors, friends and acquaintances throughout life that have been gay and were never self-centered, arrogant, belligerent, etc. and several that were straight that did change like that. Usually it has much more to do with the way they are treated, spoken to and accepted by the people in their daily lives, and sometimes people are just jerks. None of that is dependent upon sexual orientation.

Children do need and deserve a mom and a dad; however, we have allowed single parents to adopt children for a very long time because having one good and loving parent is better than having none. If a child would otherwise have NO parent, is it still better that gays not adopt? Should single parent adoptions also be banned? What other sins should disqualify people from adopting? I honestly haven’t been able to form a strong opinion one way or the other on gay adoptions. I know it’s best for kids to have married heterosexual parents but I can’t see them remaining parentless as the better option. Yes it might screw up some kids but married biological and foster/adoptive parents do that sometimes too. And most of the kids I’ve met or read about have turned out just as well as any other kid does. So although I agree it’s not ideal and should never be the first choice, I can’t see completely discounting them when no one else will take the child.

 

[1990Domer]

Sounds like my brother. But he’s straight.

No generalizations meant here…pure observation from the crowd he runs with.

 

[edwest2]

The Catholic perspective is given here:

usccb.org/issues-and-action/religious-liberty/discrimination-against-catholic-adoption-services.cfm

Ed

 

[Trident_H]

Could do this, :aok:, this :tiphat:, this :clapping: or this

Ok man, you got it!

 

[1990Domer]

There could be many reasons for this that have nothing to do with being gay. I have family, neighbors, friends and acquaintances throughout life that have been gay and were never self-centered, arrogant, belligerent, etc. and several that were straight that did change like that. Usually it has much more to do with the way they are treated, spoken to and accepted by the people in their daily lives, and sometimes people are just jerks. None of that is dependent upon sexual orientation.

Children do need and deserve a mom and a dad; however, we have allowed single parents to adopt children for a very long time because having one good and loving parent is better than having none. If a child would otherwise have NO parent, is it still better that gays not adopt? Should single parent adoptions also be banned? What other sins should disqualify people from adopting? I honestly haven’t been able to form a strong opinion one way or the other on gay adoptions. I know it’s best for kids to have married heterosexual parents but I can’t see them remaining parentless as the better option. Yes it might screw up some kids but married biological and foster/adoptive parents do that sometimes too. And most of the kids I’ve met or read about have turned out just as well as any other kid does. So although I agree it’s not ideal and should never be the first choice, I can’t see completely discounting them when no one else will take the child.

I honestly agree if there wasn’t one sticking point. Parents who want to adopt are sent through a battery of phychological tests (unless it is private, I assume) that are emotionally tiring and time consuming. We were not allowed to adopt a child because we had one on the autism spectrum. The social workers run you through the ringer, there are huge expenses involved, and no guarantees at the end.

However, if these kiddos may be emotionally damaged from being orphaned, then I do feel that greatest amount of normalcy should be afforded them.

 

[bitterhope]

I honestly agree if there wasn’t one sticking point. Parents who want to adopt are sent through a battery of phychological tests (unless it is private, I assume) that are emotionally tiring and time consuming. We were not allowed to adopt a child because we had one on the autism spectrum. The social workers run you through the ringer, there are huge expenses involved, and no guarantees at the end.

However, if these kiddos may be emotionally damaged from being orphaned, then I do feel that greatest amount of normalcy should be afforded them.

Exactly! I know several couples that would make terrific parents–loving, married, straight, stable–but have not gotten clearance to adopt due to being military (moving too often/separations/etc.), income not high enough, house too small, family too large, parents too old, or various other reasons. Then single parents and gays are given clearance. Doesn’t make much sense. However, the kids shouldn’t be left orphaned due to stupid requirements. A gay or single parent family is still better than no family. What should happen though is making it easier for NORMAL families to adopt. It seems that as a society we have decided to find all sorts of ways to make kids suffer. The whole system is messed up